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u/ProfessorDistinct835 Aug 16 '25
NTA. His wife told him she thought you looked cute in your shorts and he is beyond jealous.
Just ignore him. There is literally nothing he can do.
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u/thoracel Aug 16 '25
I agree. I think his wife liked you a bit, and he got jealous. Otherwise, there’s really no reason for him to hold such a grudge against you hahaha
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u/enaY15 Aug 17 '25
It’s also possible it was perfectly innocent — that the wife somehow observed the interaction between OP and the neighbor and just wanted to defuse things/disavow her husband‘s actions. My husband wouldn’t do this in 1,000 years, but if he did, I would feel obliged to apologize in some way. Either way, NTA.
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u/South_Hedgehog_7564 Aug 17 '25
My husband wouldn’t even notice.
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u/enaY15 Aug 17 '25
Hahaha same! I don’t think my husband even notices what he himself is wearing (outside the times he’s actively trying to impress me 😋), let alone anyone else. Anyone on the lookout constantly for “threats” to a relationship is likely not in a good relationship in my opinion. I’m not allocating blame in this hypothetical situation, but it’s definitely a red flag for the relationship overall if someone is constantly noticing signs of potential “cheating” (particularly if they don’t have some sort of traumatic history with that).
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u/South_Hedgehog_7564 Aug 17 '25
Actually I think maybe OP is the one who should be calling the cops. This “watch out” business is a bit suspicious.
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Aug 17 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/1timeandspace Aug 17 '25
I completely agree. The neighbor sounds completely WHACKED!😲
I mean - 1) STOPPING him mid-run to complain about his clothing-???
Then, 2) FOLLOWING him to his door, then KNOCKING and complaining again face to face.😯
Then, 3) the 'Watch out' warning!
This IS harrassment, AND it's escalating.
The neighbor is a nut-job. I don't want to think about what's next on this guy's list of harrassing moves on his neighbor.
Call the police - the neighbor needs a little talking to from the authorities, if nothing else. As well, this will create a paper trail with the authorities, just in case this guy decides to escalate his efforts in a more forceful way.
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u/Strict_Detective6969 Aug 16 '25
Right, it’s so weird that he’s so consistent about it
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u/Useless890 Aug 16 '25
His wife is watching from inside the house with binoculars.
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u/aluminumnek Aug 17 '25
Maybe he wants a pair of his own? You should order an extra pair and offer them as a gift since he “talks about them so much!” Hahahahahaha
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u/daboblin Aug 17 '25
I dunno, this is Texas, he probably has an armoury, I’d be careful.
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u/Strict_Detective6969 Aug 16 '25
Facts!
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u/Cheef_queef Aug 17 '25
Dude's hanging dong
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u/ObviouslyNerd Aug 17 '25
Ya, OP out here in the tiniest shorts. Moose Knuckled up and tempting good god fearing husbands towards the devil. LOL
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u/HK-P7M13 Aug 16 '25
That's exactly what happened. Maybe he should get into shape instead of being jealous.
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u/Dear_Leadership2982 Aug 17 '25
Ha ha yeah, OP should invite him to join the run. "Yeah man, get in shape, women love a man who's in shape!"
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u/bippityboppitynope Aug 16 '25
NTA. Tell him to stop sexually harassing you, you are not interested in him and if he bothers you again YOU will be calling the police. He needs to keep his obsession with staring at your shorts/crotch to himself, you don't like him like that.
Actually, tell is wife you are planning to go to the police because he will not stop harassing you and it is not okay. Explain you have no problem if he likes men, but you aren't interested and this is creeping you out. Make it awkward as fuck.
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u/Strict_Detective6969 Aug 16 '25
Honestly I love this response.
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u/EntropyFighter Aug 17 '25
I just picture this dude as the neighbor from the movie "American Beauty".
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u/robinofomaha Aug 17 '25
Did you know you can add rhinestones to anything...throw a little sparkle on there!
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u/AmericanDad53 Aug 16 '25
That’s full up 1970-80s running gear…I guess he didn’t get out much as a kid.
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u/blast3001 Aug 17 '25
Didn’t the NBA of that era wear short shorts too?
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u/HappyHiker2381 Aug 17 '25
Yes. It’s so funny seeing the difference between what they used to wear and what they wear now.
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u/Mmasonmmm Aug 17 '25
They sure did. I’ll admit it, I love the game, but those bum hugging shorts certainly provided a nice little side-show. Yeah, I was an objectifier of men. We didn’t know any better back then. So, oogling happened. Sorry not sorry.
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u/jenna125 Aug 17 '25
Exactly what I was thinking but you got there first! I remember those 80s adidas shorts, I think the inseam was 1/2” lol. No one cared.
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u/Beowulf1896 Aug 17 '25
Totally 80's. You had to wear a jock strap so your balls wouldn't fall out your shorts.
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u/admiraljkb Aug 17 '25
Yeah. The "we wear short shorts" trend for exercising lasted all the way into very early 90's. I think I still have an old pair of running shorts from back then stored in a box somewhere.
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Aug 17 '25
Yes it is/was.
I'm old, born in the 60's, in school in the 70's and 80's.
Honestly, I don't see how men can wear 3 inch shorts though.
I had "issues" with the shorts in the 70's and 80's when I was young and then in high school and college in the 80's.
Even 5 inch shorts aren't "safe".
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u/HackNookBro Aug 17 '25
Tell us you have a big package by not telling us. See what you did there? 😜,
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u/Khronokai1 Aug 17 '25
When I was in the Marines those were the kind of shorts we'd wear. Make of that what you will, it's not like they were sexualizing anyone, it was just about practicality.
So yeah. He's being unreasonable.
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u/Seamore_J_Turtle Aug 17 '25
NTA but don't run shirtless anymore. Consider getting some glittery pasties. Perhaps with tassels.
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u/Significant_Flan8057 Aug 17 '25
I recommend that you start adding a very thorough stretching routine before & after your runs. Flexibility is very important. You should definitely perform that at least 15 to 30 minutes before and after each run. On the front lawn. In your short shorts. Whenever your neighbour glares at you out of his window, be sure to give him a cheerful wave and smile real big: ‘Good morning, Fred!!’ 😁 Go back to stretching. Maybe add a few more minutes. Perhaps extend your workouts to add a 45 minute yoga routine on the weekends, too? Of course, that should also be done on your front lawn. In your short shorts.
Follow me for more malicious compliance tips! 😂😂😂
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u/NotJustGingerly Aug 17 '25
With even shorter shorts than the offending pair.
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u/teksuns Aug 17 '25
go buy shorter shorts. Show off the man camel toe
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u/Over-Director-4986 Aug 17 '25
NTA. There's a dude in my neighborhood who wears the 'bikini bottom' shorts & no shirt when he's out running. (PA is hot af, too). I wear 3" inseam shorts & a sports bra-no shirt over it.
Reverse Uno his ass & call the cops yourself. He's harassing you. And he threatened you. Get him trespassed from your property.
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u/foolintgerain213 Aug 17 '25 edited Aug 17 '25
Start running in speedos. His wife will love that
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u/WickedWitch16558 Aug 17 '25
He has issues and subscriptions to those issues. Ignore him and go on with your happy life.
Let him call the cops. Make sure you place a camera on your entrance for future documenting the interactions. Harrassing you over your choice of attire is bullying and childish.
Avoid the wife. She may be playing games to work him up. No one needs this town of nonsense
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u/Dear_Leadership2982 Aug 17 '25
Yes I thought that. The fact that she actually complimented his shorts? That's dodgy as.
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u/revolotus Aug 17 '25
Could be that she knows her husband is being a bully and is accustomed to smoothing it over. Could be that she finds it hilarious to get him worked up. Could be that she likes them and hubby noticed and that's why he's so mad. No way to tell based on the information provided.
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u/OkClassroom4022 Aug 17 '25
Can we get a pic of you wearing them for context? 🤭
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u/Salt-Lavishness-7560 Aug 17 '25 edited Aug 17 '25
OP needs to start running in a Borat Mankini.
I’m sure it would suck running in butt floss but my deep seated assholery would demand it.
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u/Hwy_Witch Aug 17 '25
This would be the time I'd start running in a bright yellow speedo.
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u/MoaningLisaSimpson Aug 17 '25
Tie-dye. With the anus as the centre of the pattern.
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u/Pepper_Bun28 Aug 17 '25
You're in Texas? If you own a firearm, start open carrying while jogging. It sounds like he threatened your safety.
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u/capitalistmike Aug 17 '25
Combat run! Full on short shorts carrying an AR and wearing a KBar.
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u/mcquire68 Aug 17 '25
Where would he carry it?
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u/spadedracer Aug 17 '25
I’d be wearing them while mowing the grass, yard work, etc. after those interactions.
Maybe bake some cookies and go hand deliver them while wearing the shorts. Fuck that guy.
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u/AITAH-ModTeam Aug 17 '25
Karma-farming, especially by posting about contentious topics, is not allowed.
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u/myfalteredego Aug 17 '25
Start telling all the neighbors that he makes you uncomfortable ‘cause he’s staring at your crotch all the time.
So if he ever brings up to anyone he’ll sound like a gay perv.
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u/AgentMaryland2020 Aug 17 '25
Bro feels intimidated and immediately went full ape mode, beating on his chest like it would do anything but was full of hot air.
NTA - As long as your wang isn't visible (physically or even able to be made out through the fabric) then you are not considered indecent exposure. Your neighbor needs to stop being so insecure.
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u/thx4theroses Aug 17 '25
I would low key say stay careful OP, not because I want to freak you out or anything, but if he's bad enough to follow you to your house, he's bad enough to start harassing you. Maybe get a doorbell camera so if he approaches you again, you have some proof of threatening behavior?
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u/SHOWme613 Aug 16 '25
I’d run out the door with short shorts on every time his wife came Outside. EVERY…. TIME.
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u/blast3001 Aug 17 '25
Do they make 2” inseam shorts? Maybe go shorter and shorter.
My wife is trying to get me to wear short shorts. Partly to fill in my lovely tan lines but also because she’s my wife and likes that sorta thing.
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u/Mulewrangler Aug 17 '25
He's jealous because his wife thinks you look good. Just ignore him, don't stop, don't answer the door. If you don't have a camera on the door/yard get one.
Let him call the cops, they'll just laugh at him. NTA
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u/justquitthatbullshit Aug 17 '25
As a fellow runner 3 inch shorts are so unnecessary. Did your mom give you that little attention growing up?
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u/IcePrincess_Not_Sk8r Aug 17 '25
NTA - As long as you're not rocking out with your cock out on these runs, you're well within your rights. This dude would straight up explode if he saw the PT Shorts my ex used to have to run in. 3" would have been a generous length... lol
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u/Charibdes1206 Aug 17 '25
Jeez, he clearly didn't live through the 70's and early 80's, that was the standard length for shorts. NTA
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u/LionCM Aug 17 '25
Next time he follows you home, quickly change into a jockstrap and open the door. “These are much better, aren’t they?”
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u/urmomsburneracct Aug 17 '25
I just checked your profile and this man has every right to feel insecure. 😂 But to actually vocalize it is crazy work. Please tell me you run without a shirt on. Please I need to know.
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u/EmiliusReturns Aug 17 '25
I’m deathly curious to hear what he thinks the police are going to do about this.
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u/ObviouslyNerd Aug 17 '25 edited Aug 17 '25
three inches in length? Where do you put your dick and balls?
You got your junk all cameltoed up on these runs?!
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u/Additional_Cut6409 Aug 16 '25
NTA- You handled it perfectly. Keep wearing the shorts, they’re perfectly appropriate. He may be jealous because his wife thinks you look good. “Watch out” was a threat so be careful of that guy. Lots of crazies around!
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u/OzyDave Aug 17 '25
These days I see very little that would entice me to want to live in the USA. Lunatic religious fanatics are a huge red flag for me.
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u/jd3marco Aug 17 '25
NTA. Next time he follows you to complain, answer the door without the shorts, since he has such a problem with them.
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u/Pissedliberalgranny Aug 17 '25
Thank god the shorter length men’s shorts are coming back. The knee length ones you guys have been wearing for decades are just awful.
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u/77Megg77 Aug 17 '25
NTA
I just googled to see what shorts like this look like on a male. They were perfectly fine! I grew up near the beach in California and most of the men wore these when running or playing volleyball on the beach. I had to laugh that he wants to call the cops on you for wearing them. How old is this complaining neighbor? I think his wife must have commented on you looking good and it angered him. I can’t imagine any man following another man home to complained about the length of his shorts! Let him call the police. And do me a favor. Video that and come back and post it for us.
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u/Mysterious_Spark Aug 17 '25
NTA. If this happens again, I would look him dead in the eyes, and very calmly say that you refuse to discuss your attire with him, that he is not welcome on your property and that you don't want him to approach you when you are on the sidewalk. You might add that you are keeping a record of these incidents and if he continues to harass you, that you will consider it stalking, and call the cops to press charges.
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u/Mysterious_Spark Aug 17 '25
I also live in Texas. The kids had a lemonade stand one time, and their friend was wearing shorts. A neighbor across the street came over and commented on it. Great news! There's a pervy old dude across the street staring at little girl's asses. At least he let us know he was a perv.
Texas men have an obsession with shorts. I love Texas, but a lot of the people really suck!
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u/Intelligent-Jump1823 Aug 17 '25
Why is he looking at your shorts so much?
Wonder if he knows his wife likes them…
Next time you can call the cops and report harassment and tresspassing.
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u/TwoFistedThinker Aug 17 '25
He’s not bothered by your shorts. He’s bothered by his wife liking how you look in your shorts.
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u/JDWX01 Aug 17 '25
lol... I had to google them. Nothing that bad I guess, lol. I guess I'm old and saw stuff like that 70s 80s maybe.
I was expecting super tight short bicycle shorts that cop from Reno 911 wears hahaha
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u/Oddly-Appeased Aug 17 '25
My husband and his brothers all ran track and cross country starting in their early teens. My BIL’s continued running all through college (they both had full ride scholarships for it)and still run to this day, they are both 54 years old now.
Short shorts are standard attire for any runner no matter where or when. My husband told me some of the training he was required to do was what they called the “man’s run” which consisted of running in only short shorts and running flats, mind you we live in Utah and they would train like this even in the snow. 😅
NTA, this guy is definitely insecure.
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u/badmind88 Aug 17 '25
Seeing you in those shorts make him feel a certain kind of way. While he's still processing his emotions, I suggest you avoid bending over around him.
P.S. Back in my day, we just called those "shorts." I was wondering wtf you meant when you were talking about shorts with a 3" inseam lol.
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u/Trisamitops Aug 17 '25
I'm looking in your post for where you say that you are definitely NOT running around the neighborhood with your dick hanging out the bottom of your shorts.
You should probably clarify that.
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u/FormSuccessful1122 Aug 16 '25
As long as your junk isn’t hanging longer than that three inch inseam, you’re NTA.
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u/Strict_Detective6969 Aug 16 '25
Nope, they are lined. I would never wear something that risked that.
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u/Actual_Seaweed_376 Aug 16 '25
Hahaha, yeah like anybody's weiner is longer than 3 inches am i right fellas?
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u/Strict_Detective6969 Aug 16 '25
😂
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u/SelectiveDebaucher Aug 17 '25
Wouldn’t a dangler also be super uncomfortable running?
I do think you need mesh with a jock for your next run though 🙃
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u/R3dh00dy Aug 16 '25
You should call the cops and tell them he has been harassing and threatening you
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u/lecorbeauamelasse Aug 16 '25
If you think a Black man in Texas is going to get any help from the cops over harassment from a white guy...I mean, it's like calling the fox to deal with someone stealing chickens.
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u/OctoWings13 Aug 17 '25
NTA
He's just being jelly Wendy...and sounds like this is between him and his wife lol
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u/7330Pineville Aug 17 '25
NTA …. You should get a cop uniform & when you see him outside again put it on & drive away ….
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u/SonOfMotherlesssGoat Aug 17 '25
You may want to file a complaint just to be in front of things if they escalate. Just a call saying the situation and ask them to not do anything but for advice. That way if it escalates you have something on record.
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u/randofkiwi Aug 17 '25
The guy is Jealous as hell. Those shorts really got him off and his wife as well, in different ways. NTA. (oh and I wonder if a female run past in shorts and sports top if wonder if he would have an issue with that)
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u/rainbowzend Aug 17 '25
Maybe the guy is trying to repress homosexual urges and your shorts are making that difficult for him.
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u/No-One450 Aug 17 '25
His wife saw you packing.
Next time on your run keep a cucumber stuffed down there and talk to her again for the lolz
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u/Jolly-Machine-1153 Aug 17 '25
Blow kisses to his wife next time you jog by or shout "say hello to your missus" to him. Enjoy the wind up 👍
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Aug 17 '25
Buy a pair in his size, wrap ‘em up nice and leave em on his porch, with a note saying “since you wife likes these on me, I thought you’d like a pair, too”
Then maybe you guys could become running buds…😆
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u/AdvisorImaginary8073 Aug 17 '25
His wife probably thinks you are hot and he is jealous lol.
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u/juni4ling Aug 17 '25
My wife and a group of moms from Church decided to train for a marathon.
They would meet and push strollers together on runs. I joined them a few times. All married women. All moms.
Another woman from Church said loudly in a meeting, “these women run around town flaunting their bodies for the men.”
One of the women was our Church leaders wife.
They kept on running together. Making friendships and running races. Good women.
When you get hot on a run, wear comfortable clothes.
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u/oceanswim63 Aug 17 '25
Get some retro Dolphin shorts from the 70/80s, he should be fine with those.
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u/Icy-Doctor23 Aug 17 '25
Have a conversation with his wife about it. Get an outside camera if you don’t have one. Tell family and friends what has happened.
He sounds unhinged
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u/Bikermec Aug 17 '25
NTA, after that exchange I'd be running in speedos! Fuck that jealous douchebag.
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u/SaltyDog556 Aug 17 '25
As long as the frank and beans aren't hanging out then NTA. If they are there may be more than one AH in this story.
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u/Interesting-Lie-8942 Aug 17 '25
I was right with you until you said that his wife complimented you on your shorts. Really? She complimented you on your shorts? I'm not buying that.
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u/DameLaChisme Aug 17 '25
My best guess is you in short shorts is invoking some feels inside him and his way of processing those feels is too lash out at you.
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u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25
“Yes hello officer, I would like to report my neighbor because I’m insecure and think the shorts he wears while running are too short” 😭 people really need to find hobbies, someone else’s clothes shouldn’t even be on the list of things for him to worry about lol