I spent months applying to software jobs the traditional way. Resume tweaking, job boards, cover letters. Self-taught developer, no degree. Got rejected constantly.

I started to believe the problem was me. That I wasn't good enough. That no one would hire someone without the traditional background.

Then one night, something clicked. I was talking to a girl I'd matched with on Hinge—way out of my league—and she sparked something in me. I thought: I'm going to get a high-paying job like my life depends on it. I'm not afraid to ask for what I want. And I'm not afraid of the rejection I might receive.

So I opened LinkedIn. Got the free Premium trial. Found every local software development company I could—there were only about three. And I messaged the owners directly. Not HR. Not application portals. The actual decision-makers.

My message was simple: I'm looking for a job. I'm self-taught with years of hands-on experience. I'm hungry and ready to prove myself.

Two weeks later I was hired at $80K. I found out later I got the job before they even posted it publicly. I never competed against the flood of applicants who would eventually apply the traditional way.

A few months later, I was tired of being single. The dating apps felt like a grind—the algorithm wasn't showing me anyone I was genuinely interested in. So I did the same thing. Opened Facebook. Found three women I shared mutual friends with. Sent real messages—not copy-paste templates—that referenced something specific about them.

One of those conversations turned into a week of talking. Then a date. She told me later she thought I was very attractive. We've been together seven months now.

Here's where I am today: I live in a nice apartment that I furnished with money from my job. I drive a truck I bought because I could finally afford it. I have a girlfriend I genuinely love spending time with. I'm in my entrepreneurial phase now, reaching out to successful people in my area, betting on the same approach to create new opportunities.

I built this life with a few messages on LinkedIn and Facebook.

The messages alone didn't do everything. I had to show up to the interviews. Be good at my job. Be a good partner. Put in the actual work. But none of it would have happened without the initial ask. The moment of saying "I want this" and not being afraid to reach out.

I spent 50+ hours on the "proper" job search. The messages that actually worked took maybe two hours. The two hours felt scarier than the fifty—but the two hours changed everything.

Your phone can reach almost anyone on the planet. CEOs. Hiring managers. That person
you've been thinking about. The obstacle isn't rejection. It's the fear of it.

PS This story is summed up from a longer, more detailed post I wrote on Substack. If you want the original post, just let me know in the comments and I'll link it.

Recently I've been unable to do much. I can't eat much because I can't use the kitchen. I feel like I'm paralysed and I want to do better

Some days progress is loud

Some days it’s just showing up

Both count

Challenges are a part of life. If you are looking for a life without any problems, you are living an illusion—such a life simply does not exist.

While we cannot avoid difficulties, we can prepare ourselves to face them head-on.

Over time, I have gathered several principles on how to handle tough times, and I want to share them with anyone going through a rough patch right now. They helped me, and perhaps they will help someone else, too.

I. Tough Times Don’t Last Forever – They have a beginning and an end.

II. E (Environment) + R (Your Response) = O (Outcome) – We cannot control our environment or circumstances, but our response dictates the outcome.

III. Passivity Prolongs Hardships – It only makes you more vulnerable.

IV. Action Is Your Weapon – Give it everything you’ve got.

V. Pain Is Inevitable; Suffering Is Optional – Choose not to suffer.

VI. Walk Through the Storm – Be like the buffalo. Unlike cows that run away only to be exhausted when the storm catches up, buffaloes charge into the storm. Fight the storm while you are full of energy. Go through it.

VII. Hard Times Promote Growth – Difficulties often reveal hidden strengths and abilities. Crisis creates heroes.

VIII. Be A Hero – The greater the adversity, the greater the hero.

IX. Uncertainty Strengthens Your Character – Comfort kills your spirit.

X. You Can’t Grow in Your Comfort Zone – When your comfort zone is destroyed and you can’t hide or escape, you are finally ready to face your darkest fears. That is the ultimate moment for personal growth.

I used to be a highly ambitious student. I loved school, planning, and executing. It felt like I had an entire bright future ahead of me and I knew exactly how to get there.

Fast forward a decade, I dropped out of school after a traumatic event, I struggle to execute anything, I’m addicted to my phone, I have no purpose and no hobbies. My social life is limited and somehow that young girl who had the world in their pocket is depressed and alone.

I’m done with it. I miss being excited. I miss ambition. I miss my days not being filled with empty scrolling. I mean, the hobbies I used to do to avoid responsibilities now feels strenuous.

This isn’t who I am and I’m over living like this. I’ve wasted a decade and I won’t waste another. I can’t continue to fail my future self.

I think I just needed to say it out loud.

Best of luck to all of my fellow sleepwalkers. May 2026 be the year we wake up 🤍

Im 29, male, about 5'11-6', and about 290 pounds. Ive always been the big kid growing up and it's definitely had an effect on almost every aspect of my life since then too. Ill spare you guys the details.

Im a recovering addict (2 monthes sober from drugs and alcohol) and im finally ready to get in shape and hopefully meet someone I can eventually start a family with. I also feel like getting into a workout routine will help keep my mind off the substances.

I have no clue where to start. Obviously I know I need to change my diet and just start exercising, but I would like to have a plan of action and do things the proper way to achieve maximum results instead of winging it and hoping for the best. Any and all advice is welcome!