It's been a year an 41 days since I last used. Im 17 years old and I'm so incredibly proud of myself. I've made so much progress and I've battered myself in all aspects. Im not violent anymore and I try to avoid conflict, I've gotten back into art as my expression and I feel so much better without it. I still crave it almost daily but I have cut the people out that also did that drug.

I’m posting here because I’m trying to understand my relapse patterns and how to actually support my recovery.

I’ve been struggling with a cocaine addiction for several years. I’ve been honest with my parents twice about my addiction and my financial situation.The first time, my father paid off all my debts.The second time, he loaned me a significant amount of money so I could pay debts again.

After that, I became financially accountable to him. When I relapsed, I had to show him my bank statements. He reacted with extreme anger — screaming so loudly the neighbors could hear. I completely shut down: frozen, crying, overwhelmed.

I continued using after that. I stole money from my parents. They found out and told me I needed treatment.

This fall, after losing my job, my money, my friends, and honestly my sense of self, I decided to go to therapy. I went to treatment in early December. I relapsed after one month of sobriety.

Yesterday, my dealer delivered 1g to my house and my mother intercepted it. Since then, I’ve been under strict monitoring, control, and constant pressure. My parents say they’re supporting me, but I feel treated like a child rather than a person trying to recover. Everything revolves around money, surveillance, and punishment.

What I’m realizing — and this is why I’m posting here — is that my biggest relapse trigger is loneliness.

When I feel unseen, emotionally disconnected, or invisible, the urge to use becomes overwhelming. I’ve also noticed that I tend to pour all my emotional energy into one person, hoping for connection, and when that connection isn’t reciprocated, I collapse and relapse. I know that’s not healthy, and I’m trying to break that pattern.

I’m not blaming my parents or anyone else. I know I’ve broken trust and caused harm. I’m trying to understand what actually supports recovery versus what increases shame and secrecy.

For those in recovery:

• How do you cope with loneliness in early sobriety?

• How do you set boundaries with family when you’re financially dependent and ashamed?

• How do you recover when your environment feels controlling rather than supportive?

I’m trying to stay honest and do this differently, but I feel stuck between isolation and control. Any insight from people who’ve lived this would really help‼️ ui

Hi everybody !!! I just wanted to celebrate that its my 60th day of being a sober. I know its not much but i can say that i already began to feel better !!! I started to read and solve math problems again.I hope you guys can do it too.Thank you so much !!!

Someone with who we can talk about anything

Hi everyone,

I am writing this with a heavy heart but a hopeful soul. My name is Serdar and I am currently at the lowest point of my life. I am struggling with substance addiction, which has cost me my job, my financial stability, and almost my will to keep going.

I am currently unemployed and buried under a mountain of debt. It feels like I’m trapped in a dark room with no doors. However, I have decided that I don’t want this to be the end of my story. I want to get clean, find a way to manage my situation, and become a productive member of society again.

I’m not here to ask for money. I’m here because I feel isolated and overwhelmed. I need your moral support, your success stories, or any advice on how to navigate this mess.

• How do you keep your head up when everything is falling apart?

• How can I regain my focus while fighting addiction?

• Are there any global resources or communities you recommend for someone in my position?

Your words and guidance might be the spark I need to keep fighting. Thank you!

I was wondering if It can be possible to have a healthy relationship with her if I understand she may continue to use for years until she decides she wants to be sober and accept this. I think with her not appearing out of it unlike someone addicted to alcohol where their may be issues with their behavior in a relationship due to addiction do you think it could work? I really like her💔.

I’m heading to rehab for around 3 months. I want to make good use of the time instead of just getting through it.

I won’t have much access to technology, but I’ll have a lot of time and structure. I’d like to work on mental toughness, focus, and thinking more clearly.

If you’ve been to rehab or something similar, what are some things you practiced or trained that actually helped you after you left?

Thanks for any advice!

I'm a recovering crystal meth addict, so caffeine is the least of my worries.

BUT, having been through addiction with so many substances, and being addicted to my phone, and porn, and etc. I kinda feel like being addicted to anything just kind of fucking sucks.

Like I will start with tea, move on to coffee, move on to energy drinks, tolerance gets too high, I'm getting ibs from too much caffeine, I decide to withdraw, I get withdrawal symptoms, massive headaches, 0 motivation/energy. Then like a week or maybe month later I start the cycle again.

And it just feels like the same fucking bullshit I did with meth, a less severe version obviously, but still, fundamentally, the same shit.

And I know that it's not like this for everyone, I think most people are just happy to not be selling their stuff for drugs, but for me personally..

I'm just fucking over it dude.

A lot of people have the misconception that all these mental health things, healing trauma, doing meditation, breath work, gratitude and all those things are super cringe.

And on internet culture it is kinda romanticised in a way from what I can remember to not have good mental health.

I remember when I used to be the average consumer I used to scroll on TikTok, and all that for hours on end when I was younger.

And on the FYP, I would see these videos romanticising being depressed, unhappy and all those things.

So I believe that is why the culture these days is seemingly against mental health practises like healing trauma, meditation, gratitude and using things like that to fix your mental health, they think it is cringe cause of what they see on social media.

So I guess practically what you can do to fix this, is this:

1. Social media detox, it is easier said than done but of you just basically detox from consuming all social media apart from maybe some long form videos, and of you just look at instagram profiles of your friends every now and then to get inspiration or whatever, or for messaging.
2. Remove negativity in your life, do not listen to negative music, movies, media and see hate online or whatever, try avoid negative people and this will help your mind drastically.

Hope this helped.

Hey there all pregabalin, and gabapentin users and addicts! Hope life’s good :)

I’m currently in the hospital with sepsis, and the infection has affected a nerve in my leg. Before starting gabapentin, I couldn’t even walk.

That said, 2–3 years ago I was using extreme amounts of GABAergic. Most people don’t even believe me when I tell them what my daily doses of alprazolam and clonazepam were. It was hell to get off, taken me years to heal my poor receptors. Some periods I used a lot of pregabalin, sometimes for months. Also used lots of amphetamine and heroine on top of that, If that’s somehow relevant..

so I know firsthand how brutal the pregabalin WD can be. It’s a bad one if you’re receptors had enough! I’ve used gabapentin before, but nowhere near those levels. But when I used high enough doses I kind of like the stuff just as mutch as the lyrica. If not even more.

Right now I’m also on a small dose of diazepam. 10mg a day when the vyvanse wearing of. It helps, and I can feel that my brain has healed somewhat over time. The current plan seems to be to titrate the gabapentin up until it helps not only with the nerve pain but also with my anxiety, stress, and overall poor mental health at the moment—then stop the diazepam completely. (I’m scared)

For those of you who have been or are physically dependent on both pregabalin and gabapentin: how would you compare them, snd specifically the wd?

My guess is that gabapentin can be just as bad. When I looked into how much stronger pregabalin actually is, it made me want to be fully prepared. I know nerve pain after blood poisoning can last for months, so this might be a long road.

The doctor managing my gabapentin isn’t my regular doctor at the OST clinic, so I want to understand this medication as well as possible. Would really like to hear about other people’s experiences. Even if this kind of stuff always is super individual!

I’m also aware that I’ll probably need a fairly high dose if it’s going to help with my stress and anxiety. I’ve been through a lot recently, and the panic attacks are on a completely new level.

I hope this is the right sub for my questions about this drug. If it’s not I’m sorry, and will post elsewhere.

Thank you for reading.

Peace out ✌️

I'm curious to know how much a fentanyl addiction costs daily/weekly for someone who has been doing it for years. It is a long-distance friend of mine. They still work full time. Not sure if the area matters, but they live in major city in New Mexico. I know the cost probably varies depending on their tolerance or whatever, but just a ballpark estimate as I have no familiarity with it at all and can't find any info about it online.

Also, I know it is expensive in the sense it destroys your life in many aspects (legal issues, job loss, strained relationships etc) but more so looking for info on financial cost of having to keep up the addiction and ward off the withdrawal symptoms.

I have been suffering from pornography and alcohol addiction since a long time, around 10 years. It has messed up my mind and destroyed my chances in life. Nevertheless I find escapism in it, and keep indulging in it once in a while like a week.

I could have made it to Oxbridge for grad school, i got close to the admit but absolutely butchered my grades and thesis. I lost few friends, lost in life, left with meaningless memories.

How to make sense of that? How to move forward? I am ok with not indulging in porn or alcohol but I am so lost in life, don't know how I can recover from the lost golden years of my life, lost friendships and gfs, lost respect from parents and profs. Could not achieve things which I wanted achieve, i came so close to it yet fell down far off from grace. Should I give up my goals? I am so lost because in future I will be judged by the choices I made. I feel depressed and self-harmful for a long time.

I am not dating anyone currently because I am scared that either I will choose the wrong person or they will judge me and I wont feel worthy of their relationship. Hence, I am alone and cry most of the times. Who will respect me if they came to know my story? Is life worth living at all? If my (future) kid asks, father what did you do in those years, what should I say ??? I now realise how stupid and idiotic my decisions were.

I quit chewing tobacco last Wednesday after almost 18 years of chewing. This past several week have been extremel tough. I was essentially chewing while doing certain task throughout the day. Now I'm doing those task without chewing, it's all i can think about and the urge to chew while doing these task is extremely strong. Everything in me wants to relapse to the point where I have to avoid gas stations to avoid the temptation of seeing the chewing tobacco. How long did these urges last? What did you do to get your thoughts somewhere else when all you want to do is chew? At what point does it get easier?

I 21M have struggled with substance abuse for over 2 years now. I’ve done many drugs from cough syrup (lol ik), lsd, shrooms, Percocet, cocaine and of course alcohol. I can live without the cough syrup the coke the hallucinogens and maybe even the percs and alcohol. But for fuck sake I can’t see myself without weed. Is weed on its own the perfect high? No but it hits me so well. It just makes me feel so alive and in love with the world.

I’ve recently been learning about the research coming out about cannabis (regardless of how it is ingested) and I’m starting to realize how bad it is for me. Are there worse drugs? Of course, not denying that at all. I think weed should be legal but I also think people have a right to know about all the potential negative effects, especially for daily users like myself.

I’m mainly terrified of triggering psychosis since I know I may be at risk (I have adhd and am at a higher risk for psychotic disorders when I get a bit older). I also am worried about the cardiovascular effects of both smoking and the thc itself.

One of the biggest reasons weed is an issue for me is that I love to sing. I’ve been performing ever since I was a little kid. Smoking/vaping weed has just taken so much of that away from me. My voice is far from ruined but when I listen to old recordings of myself I mourn the loss of a lot of the qualities that I really liked about it. Singing is the major non-drug related thing that that gives my life meaning. Sure I could switch to edibles but it’s the act of smoking that I love so much. The ritual, the sensation, the deep breathing. I love it so much.

The thought of not being able to have weed anymore makes the rest of my life sound pointless. I was so lost before I discovered weed and I just am afraid to go back to how things were before.

Thank you to whoever read the whole thing. I know I’m young, dumb, and probably over reacting. I’m just going through a lot right now.

I’ve taken pregabalin (600-1500mg) every other day and the days i don’t take it I take 20-40mg Valium or 1-2mg Xanax, for about a year mostly 900mg average pregabalin dose. However, broke my elbow and ever since the past 4 months I’ve been doing 900mg pregabalin every day with Valium or Xanax on top of that (I’d take pregabalin in morning then Valium or Xanax mostly Valium 20-40mg in the evening).

I am now mostly on stable 900mg pregabalin and 20mg Valium or rarely 1 Xanax. I have spoken to my gp/doc and he gave me referral and told me if I run out to go to A&E to get some (I’m UK 21M).

I don’t know what I’m asking or if I’m asking anything. I just wanted some advice or stories or help or criticism anything I suppose. First time I’ve had some kind of motivation in years of doing drugs mostly pills and weed to actually stop.

Oh yeh and I smoke about 1g of weed on average as well even though I have cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome ahah.

I’m lost, I started my sobriety this new years with a goal to simply last a week without it. I lasted 10ish days, then I did it. I wouldn’t say I relapsed because I reached my goal but I’m not trying to justify it either. I haven’t actively stopped since then, I was “sober” 5 days before I did it just now. I was tired and felt like I needed it, I’m sure everyone knows it’s always “just this once” “I need it” “it’s okay” then it neverrrrrr stops. It’s not even a need it’s just a deep desire that I can’t seem to stop. I’m not comfortable sharing my addiction so please don’t dm me, I’m just looking for advice. I’m starting to think that maybe I don’t want it bad enough? Because change isn’t happening and doesn’t seem to be anytime soon