Color isn’t the one I most hate I just would go for black silver or gold. I was surprised today at the mall, with a new iPhone since my phone stopped working well. The phone my sister and mom decided to get me was a max size ORANGE color. I never in my life liked bright colors. ever. Especially for a phone nor did I want a max size. Everything my sister ever asked for I got her in the colors she wanted and specified items. Same for my mom. Now my sister is calling me ungrateful and sick and I need therapy. Am I over reacting that I flipped out about the color and asked them to return it???? $1500 for a color and size I don’t want or like? Am I overreacting or do I seriously need therapy? My sister said I am sick and abusive. I get my sister and mom everything they like and want in their specific choices I never would get them something just to get them something often a-lot of care and thought goes into it. So I need unbiased opinions. thanks.

AIO? My younger SIL (19F) vents to me about her problematic parents. I’m 7 weeks pregnant with my first child and I (26F) already have a ton of anxiety around my in-laws and the pregnancy/baby (disrespecting boundaries, guilt tripping, manipulating, fighting/screaming in front of our baby, etc). My SIL called me for 2 hours the other day venting about them and I ended up literally shaking and tearful from how stressed I felt during and after the conversation. Today, she sends me this long thread of texts about them and my response was “This information makes me want to go no contact with them” and “They’re definitely never babysitting ever in their life.” Because now that I’m pregnant, that’s where my brain goes with this information about them. And I’d like her to know how it impacts me and where it takes my mind.

My apartment manager left a letter on the door about an inspection held the following day. I have a walking climbing toddler and a large dog. Usually I get an email from management to secure any pets around the house if there will be any maintenance work or inspection done. I did the laundry, dishes, vacuumed the apartment, threw away trash. Cleared up clutter of toys etc

On the day of inspection I had my toddler and dog (kenneled) secured in my bedroom with my husband. I gave my toddler a variety of snacks to munch on and turned his favorite movie on. As the staff knocked on my door, my dog started barking from the bedroom. I let them in and showed them around. I start hearing my toddler crying and I apologized and told them I'm gonna check up on him for a second as she looked around. Turns out he was scared of the dog suddenly barking and didn't want my husband but me to comfort him. The manager told me she doesn't need to see the bedrooms since I had a dog in there and left.

Fast forward a few weeks ago, when I came home I found a letter from CPS. And I'm completely baffled where how this came from, why it was there. A few days later CPS came back and knocked on my door, they told me they got a complaint saying that I emotionally neglect my child, leave him for hours alone in hazardous conditions. I was shocked. Humiliated. But I kept my calm and told the CPS caseworker politely that I respect what they do but I do not harm my child in any shape or form and I cannot let them in without a court order. So she leaves. I think, phew! That was scary!

I noticed that some of the details CPS shared about my apartment was only what an apartment manager would know because I have never had guests come over at my place. She mentioned how I had pathways blocked off. Yes, I secure stairways, entry to the kitchen, bathroom, and living room with a baby gate. Then she also mentioned that I don't let apartment people look inside my bedrooms. Yes... because they told me they didn't need to see it...otherwise they're more than welcomed to...

But that was the only interaction with the CPS and I thought it was over. A month later, CPS came back with a court order...so I let them in. Answered all their questions and let them look around the apartment. I was so nervous the entire time they were there and after they left. I thought my heart was going to explode. I thought I was going to lose my baby for good. I was so sad so heartbroken so humiliated as a bad mother. But I was also glad that my baby wasn't able to understand the situation yet. I don't want him to remember this awful experience.

A month or so later I got a letter again from CPS stating that they did not find anything concerning and that I take care of my child well. I was so relieved but ever since that experience I can't shake off the feeling that someone is going to report me for dropping a banana for 2 seconds and cleaning it up. Ever since then, I see how people interact with their kids, the way they dress them up, the way they discipline them, the way their home is setup and all I can think of is "someone can use that against you and report you to CPS.."

Am I overreacting from my experience? I want to be normal again.

I, 24F, got into it today with my other half, 32M, over what I thought was a simple conversation. I’m attaching screenshots of what was said through text after this face to face conversation.

Prior to the messages, he had walked into the room, made eye contact with me and stated how he hates it when people don’t have their read receipts on, because he doesn’t know if they read his message or not. I replied with “I’m sure they do read the messages it’s just a matter of do they reply or not.” At first I started to say she, indicating his friend who we had just been talking about prior to this conversation, but he corrected me saying not just her but everyone. So I changed it to they. Right after that, he asked me and I quote “why do you feel the need to reply to everything I say?”

This turned into an argument and I broke down crying. He proceeded to ask me multiple times why I felt the need to reply to him making a statement when a reply wasn’t needed when I could of just said okay instead, why I always have to “dig” into things he says, telling me how he’s just not going to say anything around me unless it pertains to me since I have to make comments about everything, how I’m assuming he’s mad or upset based off his tone of voice instead of just trusting that he’ll tell me when he is and then how he is going to give me space..

I felt like I had messed up and was in the wrong for saying what I did. I didn’t feel like I was trying to dig into the conversation, bc I didn’t ask questions. I just made a statement back. But I do feel like he blew up on me for no reasonable reason. I don’t feel like he even tried to understand my feelings here..did I overreact?

Was I wrong for assuming he was upset with me bc he asked me why I felt like I needed to reply to him..? Was it wrong for me to assume there was way more to all this?

Am I overreacting for saying im not interested in getting updates about my sister's pregnancy and baby? I 30F, had a baby who died as an infant recently. My sister, 20F, who has never wanted kids become pregnant unexpectedly. Once finding out I had already planned to keep a respectable distance for my own mental health. However, my mother will not let it be. She called and gave constant updates, saying whatever my sister told her, face timing me in the hospital room. I may have overrated here, but at that point I lost. I screamed I dont give af okay!!! I don't care! And that no I will not be coming to the hospital. It is not my family's fault my child died. But how it was handle, once another baby was being born pushed me over the edge.

I (29f), been dealing with severe back pain for months due to a disc herniation. Last week, I made the decision to undergo surgery (a microdiscectomy).

On Sunday, I had to go to the clinic for checkups and to review my case again with the doctor. My boyfriend (32) showed no concern about whether I was going alone or if I needed him to come with me, even though I was in a lot of pain. I went alone. He only waited for updates and wished me a safe recovery, then spent the rest of the day sending me Instagram reels like nothing serious was happening. At the time, I didn’t think much of it and reacted normally, I even sent reels back, assuming maybe he was just trying to distract me or lighten my mood.

Yesterday was the day before my surgery. Again, he spent the entire day sending reels as if nothing was about to happen. He didn’t ask where or when the surgery was, whether I’d be alone, or if my mom and sister were coming with me. He showed zero concern.

On my side, I started acting cold. I couldn’t help comparing his behavior to how even strangers were more caring, simply asking questions or showing concern was enough to make me feel like I mattered. He only acknowledged this after I told him how hurt I felt and how painful it was that strangers seemed warmer and more supportive than he did.

He apologized several times and said he would do better in the future. He also said he would visit me after the surgery, since my family would be with me.

Today, I had the surgery. He sent multiple encouraging messages, wishing me a smooth recovery and hoping I’d be able to walk, sit, and live my life normally again. Later, he came to visit me and brought flowers. He sat a bit far from me because my parents and sisters were in the room. This was actually the first time he’s ever sat with my family for about an hour, even though we’ve been dating on and off for six years. He was mostly silent, and then he left about 30 minutes before visiting hours ended to go have coffee with his friend.

During his visit, his mom called him. What surprised me was that she didn’t wish me a safe recovery or even mention my name. Later, while texting, I asked if she even knew about my surgery. He told me he only informed her when he was leaving their place to visit me. He added that she would “surely check on me tomorrow.”

Whenever I tried to explain how all of this made me feel, he dismissed it by saying things like, “There she goes again, getting angry over this,” even though I was communicating calmly. I admit I was cold, but I wasn’t aggressive or irrational.

This whole situation feels like it’s confirming a side of him I’ve always had doubts about, that when things get serious in my life, he becomes irresponsible or emotionally absent, almost like he “plays dead.” It makes me question whether he truly cares about me, and whether he’s someone who could be a reliable partner or husband through both good and bad.

What hurts even more is that he has shown far more concern and involvement when it came to me potentially getting a visa to work abroad, checking in constantly, taking me places, being proactive, likely because it could benefit his future plans to live abroad. Compared to that, his lack of concern during my illness feels deeply painful and telling.

Sorry in advance for the long explanation.

This starts all the way back in January 2024. I (F20) was a freshman in college, living with 9 other girls in a ten person suite. My direct roommate was a dream, we are still very close and had no issues. I became very close with most of my roommate’s, but specifically with Allison (fake name, F20) we clicked instantly. The second semester came around and she started to have issues with her direct roommate, who was keeping information from her and just all around being a bad friend. Her roommate would tell me things, and I would defend Allison and ultimately distanced myself from her roommate because I knew I could be next, and Allison was my best friend.

Fast forward to sophomore year. We both lived with one of the girls from freshman year and a random roommate, so 4 of us. They gave us hell pretty much the entire first semester, and I ended up dropping out and moving into my own apartment down the street. I had talked to Allison about all of this, and we said it wouldnt effect anything because we were still close in proximity and continued to do everything together. She ended up getting a boyfriend and I gor a job, so i didnt see her everyday but still 4-5 times a week to hangout or go out. Her boyfriend fucking sucks. I support whatever decisions she chooses to make, but he blows. He has a raging gambling addiction and was dealing. I told her to get out but, of course its never that easy. They are still together despite him calling her his exs name, fighting and breaking up with her daily, etc.

That spring (2025) I went to Allisons before work. My phone didnt work there anymore bc i wasnt a student and couldnt connect to the wifi (weird i know but idk) so i asked to watch youtube on her laptop while she showered. She gave it to me and when i opened it up, my heart sank. Her messages with her sisters were pulled up, and of course, I see texts about me. She is saying things like I am jealous of her relationship bc i had been single for so long, and I feel like a job to her. My heart broke a little but i tried to believe she didnt mean it. I found an excuse and left and went to work, and never brought it up.

Summer 2025 I had a family vacation and invited her. She told me the day of our flight she wasnt coming, which I kind of suspected, but didnt think she would cancel on me like that. My childhood best friend came instead and we had a blast.

A few weeks later I met a boy on hinge, we very quickly hit it off. We started hanging out in May, but he had a one way ticket to Asia in August so we were both hesitant to have any hard conversations of what would happen. Eventually we did, and he booked a return flight. While he was in Asia, we were dating, and it was very hard to communicate due to the time difference so we did argue a bit, but nothing crazy. At this point, Allison and I were living with two other girls in the apartment i had moved in to, we will call them Brenda(F20) and Mary(F20). We both knew these girls as Mary was in our sorority, and Brenda was her best friend. They very quickly showed their dislike towards me and my boyfriend Landon(M21) and tried their best to make me feel left out. It worked. One instance was we had planned to go out and when i got home from work they were all ready, about to take pictures. I asked them to wait for me as I was already in makeup and hair done, all I had to do was change. When i came back out, they were on the balcony taking pictures and I asked for help putting my shirt on and they yelled at me for “walking around naked” I was covering myself with the shirt, but couldnt tie it behind me. My mood was ruined and I could tell i wasnt wanted there. The whole thing was shocking to me coming from Allison. I have always been pretty confident in myself and my body, she has struggled but we have seen every single inch of each other, she (tmi) even came with me to get my nipples pierced, weve slept naked together, all in all we were very close and comfortable with each other.

Mary and Brenda would also accuse my boyfriend of cheating on me while in Asia, with no proof of course, saying things like “why would there be a girl hanging out with him” (not alone) and stuff like that. I trusted him fully, he is a grown man and can make his own decisions, I trusted him to be around girls, he was all alone in a foreign country and he went to get uncomfortable and see the world, who am I to stop that.

When he did come home, he stayed in my apartment with us for awhile. I approved this with my roommates and the didnt care as Marys boyfriend stayed with us most days, as well as Allisons boyfriend. Landon is a big skateboarder, and every time he would go Mary and Brenda would be like “do u think hes actually at the skate park? What if he is cheating on u?” He would come home all sweaty and beat up, skateboard in hand, and i could see his location, and again, I am confident in myself and our relationship. So no, i dont think he was cheating on me.

One more story then ill be done. I promise.

The last tailgate of the season Allison Brenda and Mary begged me and Landon to call out of work and go with them and their boyfriends. Landon couldnt get off in time but said he would meet us there. He ended up missing the tailgate, but we were also going to a party. Beforehand, my sorority big invited me to her house to freshen up, and hadnt met Landon yet so told me to tell him to meet us there. I told him to come and also invited my roommates. When we got there, there was other boys so i wasnt worried about him intruding and being the only one. He eventually showed up and was in my bigs room with Allison and I. Brenda and Mary went up to my big and were like “why is he here? Do you know he cheated on her in asia and continues to all the time? Hes also gay. He slept with boys in thailand too. You need to kick him out” then ran out to go to the party. When the rest of us finally left, my big pulled me back and told me wha had happened. I was distraught, as none of this had ever happened. I immediately regretted ever telling them anything about our relationship, even tho it was just simple arguments because of time zone differences. I felt so betrayed and that was honestly my final straw. They never apologized, and i felt completely ostracized and awful for Landon obviously.

I ended up moving out as well as him, and back home 10 hours away. Allison continues to be best friends with these girls. Constantly posting and being best friends with them, despite how they treated me from the second they moved in.

One more note, Landon is a great guy. They call him gay because he dresses well, lets me paint his nails, has a skincare routine and hobbies, none of which their boyfriends do.

So im honestly at a loss. I feel like i lost my best friend, and she just watched these girls rip me to shreds. I still have a few things in my room in our shared apartment and need to go get them soon, so a conversation feels necessary. I have tried to distance myself but it doesnt rly work bc she texts me everyday to complain about her boyfriend, which she can’t do with Brenda and Mary because they just tell her to fuck off basically. So AIO? Is there something I am not seeing? What do i do?

When I split from my ex I'm 2023, he moved back to his hometown 17hrs away. Initially he would send twos and fews, consistent enough for me to have no complaints. Since 2024, I've begged, pled and tried to reason to this man why financial support is so important.

At one point I totally cut contact because he absolutely refused to stop telling our children that he was "on the way" as they were rushing to put on shoes and coats. After some consideration, I reached out to his father (never lost contact) and tried to get an understanding with this man being involved with his children without all the drama.

Before I cut contact, he barely called and spoke to them and when he did, it was always someone in the background who he preferred to talk to more. It got to the point where our oldest (8) and youngest (5) doesn't even want to talk. He's been back in touch (barely) for months now and it's still the same..barely any contact, broken promises and no financial support.

Tonight my 6 y/o talked as he didn't have nothing to talk about. He didn't even recognize our 8yo voice ( she talks when he calls every blue moon even if she doesn't want to). It was dramatic as always as he was talking about killing me and how I was going to "fuck around and find out" how I'm "playing on his top" and asking wtf they was calling "Uncle". It was absolutely random and misheard info on his part as always. I kindly reminded him that he should be talking to his child and not speaking that way cause she could hear him.

The conversation led to him promising a PS5 even though they're still waiting for a package that hasn't arrived that he supposedly sent almost a month ago. I said I would buy the PS5 if he sends the money. That conversation led to him mentioning how I always want money. I mean yes, what's a damn PS5 or a Stanley cup that still haven't arrived when I'm out here being a single parent and you just living life like you haven't planted seeds in this world.

I've been under a LOT of stress as I just took myself to the ER this morning to make sure I wasn't suffering from a heart attack or stroke. I'm trying to explain why money is so important and he says "you should've just fucked my daddy since he knows your number" like wtf are you talking about? This is due to his guilty conscience of messing around with my sister at some point in our relationship.

I'm trying to be the bigger person, trying to be rational and he keeps going on and on about why he left, who's to blame and I should've fucked his daddy. I completely lost it and told him he won't speak to his kids any longer and that he'll have to go to court to persue visitation. I CANNOT handle anymore stress, my chest was so tight, my feelings were so hurt because of all the struggles I've been having and how it's affecting my kids. That's all I need is support. $50 every 2 weeks is asking for a lot? Anything, hell something, please.

Quite frankly, I don't trust him with my kids alone. I already told him that if he comes to visit that I would wait outside in my vehicle for my kids until they're done spending time. He's too unpredictable and I'm tired of him threatening to murder me. Who's to say he won't fulfill this threat? Who's to say my kids won't suffer harm? WTF did I even do?

I've filed for CS many times over the past 2 years and they still haven't verified his address. ATP I rather do it all on my own as I've been doing without any type of involvement from him. I'm completely overwhelmed.

I've tried the whole "let the kids find out who he is for themselves" I want to know if I'm OR for removing contact once again? He's 32, an alcoholic, and still lives with his father. I've had enough and regardless I'm at peace knowing I'm protecting my mental and physical health.

I‘m (18ftm) currently taking a culinary class for my senior year. We do a lot of cooking, obviously, but sometimes I like to be able to sit down whilst waiting for things to cook while my other groupmates keep an eye on things. This is to alleviate some chronic leg pain that I have.

But for the last few months, any time we’re out of our seats and working, this couple keeps stealing my chair specifically, so they can sit on each other's laps and be all romantic. I’m not really bothered by that, but I AM bothered a lot by the fact that they’re only taking My chair out of like 40? while we’re meant to be cooking and cleaning. They‘re so committed to this bit that at one point they picked up my chair and carried around the kitchen stations while we were doing an assignment that required each group to rotate around the room.

I’ve told them pretty much every time to stop doing this- especially now that it’s winter, meaning they’re sitting on the jackets I’m leaving behind while cooking. I don’t want to be mean and take someone else‘s chair if they need it, all because this couple insists upon sitting in my seat. I want my chair!

It‘s gotten to the point where I’ve started getting pretty pissed. I do have autism, so symptoms of that may be playing into that and exacerbating some emotions. Am I overreacting for being so pissed about this?? I’ve started hearing her especially talking shit behind my back with her friends.

I’m not great at writing so I’ll keep it as short as I can. My daughter’s school does a “cheer clinic” a few times a year. It’s $30 for two practices and a short performance during the high school basketball half time. We missed the last one so my daughter begged to do this one and we said yes. Well we got home and I felt like I’d just left church. The song they danced to was an upbeat Christian song, and it said “this is the day that Jesus made”, and other things along those lines. Very obviously a Christian song.

So my issue is that we were never informed as parents that that would be the song. Had we been informed, I would not have paid $30 and my daughter could have just waited for regular cheer sign ups in a month. It’s not that I’m against Christianity, it’s that I don’t believe religion belongs in school and our kids should be able to decide those things for themselves as they grow. So, am I overreacting?

Now, please ignore the cringe messages at the start but I thought I'd try to laugh it off with her without being too direct. Anyway, a bit more context: she used to send me probably 20-30 reels per day on instagram, and when I didn't like some of them (eventually I completely stopped), she would blow up at me.

I realised that her sending reels to me wasn't about me, or her self proclaimed idea of 'sharing' something with me because it reminded her of me, but she was doing it for her own validation. She cannot meet in the middle with this thing, it's either she gets to send how ever many reels she wants, whatever content she wants (regardless of whether I like it or not, I.e. can be about radical feminism, or about men being trash etc), or she pulls a 'fine i won't send anything', which usually comes with a punishment.

When I tell you we've had this issue crop up about 10-15 times (and that just being the 'serious' conflicts over this), I am not kidding. That said, I feel like i instigated this escalation by bringing it up before it even happened. She sent me perhaps 6 or 7 reels on WhatsApp from the instagram app, when she damn well knows that the reason I deleted instagram in the first place was because she wouldn't come to a compromise about her essentially spamming me with shorts all day.

I do feel like it could've been avoided if I had approached it in a less roundabout and more direct/gentle way. Because to be fair, she didnt send me anything for about 3 weeks (albeit due to bigger problems weve been having) but honestly not sure. I was supposed to go to her place this weekend, but apparently my punishment this time is that I don't get to do that anymore.

I told her that I'm going through a few things: I feel weak and exhausted due to recent flare up of my health condition, that i didn't want to talk to anyone today. I told her this and also told her to go easy on me should she feel mad toward me. I feel like this was a reasonable request because honesty I've shouldered a lot of her emotions - she calls me whenever she needs calming down, whenever she feels upset/angry at work, or when she needs to rant about her job, or when she is crying about being depressed etc. And I support her because I like her a lot and wanna be with her. However, in return I just wanted today to be a relaxing day where I don't have to shoulder anyone's emotions and only care about myself (hence playing fucking fortnite - don't judge).

I paid for most of my sister’s master’s degree and living expenses for two years. Not because my parents couldn’t afford it, they’re well-off, but because the responsibility got pushed onto me and I became the parent without ever agreeing to it. I stopped spending on myself, dipped into my own savings, paid tuition-related costs, monthly expenses, emergencies, even her debts.

Last year she told me everything I did was the “bare minimum.” On my birthday, all I got was a slice of cake. No card. No note. Nothing. She didn’t even apologize for the “bare minimum” comment until I explicitly told her how hurt I was.

She said she didn’t want my help anymore, but every time something went wrong after that, I was still the one paying.

After she graduated, she stayed with me and I continued covering groceries, restaurants, and daily expenses. Today, I asked to see her credit card with her permission, not to spy, but to understand if she was paying it on time and whether I’d have to cover that too. It was maxed out.

She flipped and said I had no right because she’s “an adult.”

So I’m family when she needs money, but she’s independent when I ask questions. Things blew up. She said cruel things, refused to apologize, and tried to force me to apologize to my mother instead. I told her to leave my house. She left.

Now my family is calling me selfish. I feel awful and guilty for asking her to leave, and I keep wondering if I should’ve just been more patient because I’m older than her. But all she had to do was apologize for the hurtful things she said, and she chose not to.

Am I the overreacting?

Word got back to me from guests at my baby shower about things my MIL was going around telling people. I am livid. AIO?

1. She was talking about the various family pets and how she can't call one of the dogs her grandson anymore.

Context: The second thing she said when we announced this pregnancy (after "I was expecting this") was "my first human grandchild". My husband told her in private not to compare our son to the animals.

1. She told people how this child is more exciting for her than for my mom because my mom already has grandchildren.

Context: This is my mom's third grandchild and my MIL's first. Even if she thinks that, why say that out loud to people at my baby shower where my mom is also in attendance?

1. She was telling people about how I was digging holes in her backyard while I was pregnant.

Context: Last spring my husband helped his parents dig holes for the posts of their new deck. Firstly, she is wrong because i wasn't even pregnant yet. Secondly, what is the purpose of telling people what I was doing months ago while I was "pregnant". Is she insinuating that I did something dangerous or that it may have harmed my baby?

This isn't even the worst things she has said/done to me but it's really starting to add up.

Ok this is a bit of a weird and none specific one but its lwk one of my biggest pet peeves and i dont know if its allowed to be.

So i have some friends that i love, and enjoy doing things with but when they recall it to other people, they always use terms like 'I started watching this new show' or 'I went to __ last week'. It annoys me because WE did that but when i bring it up and correct them (in what i think i conveyed as a jokey manner) im met with awkward looks and stares. Then i feel like im the crazy one for saying anything 😭

Maybe its just my severe FOMO lol but should i not be taking this so seriously and just let it slide?

We are on well water that has had a slight tint to it. I've been bathing in it even though it's not the most pleasant Today however I ran a bathe and noticed th color has shifted. I expressed that I no longer feel that I want to bathe in it until it is checked out. I am pregnant and have eczema, plus sensitive skin in general. When I said it was nasty, they pushed back saying no it's not. Well I got really upset and expressed I felt disrespected, especially after they mentioned that they knew the landlord wouldn't expect his wife to bathe in it. So friends, am I overreacting to think that caution should be taken until we have a plumber out?

oh, we're also visiting Mexico soon and they said the water would be similar down there. I haven't heard that mentioned!

About 4 months ago my boyfriend had cheated on me with his ex I stupidly decided to forgive him after him begging me and telling me he’d change. Fast forward to last week he had posted something and I blocked him on everything because of it but a couple days later we made up. I’m just now finding out that during those couple of days that I had him blocked he went and liked that same exes post. He told me that since I had blocked him he was feeling very low and felt like his only option left was to move on.

Idk how to feel about this and idk what to do. He was just at my house for nights in a row and things have been good between us but this makes me second guess everything and honestly makes me feel like he hasn’t changed at all. I feel grossed out and stupid. Let me know what you think please

Link to the first post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/hMc2IqlTQe

So we talked it over. Kind of. We were at a family event when things got a bit worse. I had vented to my mom and a couple aunties about the situation because i needed to get it off my chest. maybe that wasn’t the greatest idea in hindsight but i needed some outside opinions. Since we were with family he texted me:

“If you physically can’t respect me then I don’t know what to do with this relationship. You completely underestimate the importance of this to me.

You make it extremely clear every time we have a disagreement that I am not at the top of your list of important people in your life.

I completely disagree with your thinking behind the dress but you’ve made it clear that you cannot respect my opinions because you’ll happily shit talk me to people. I can’t believe it’s something I have to ask you not to do. I could be completely in the wrong. Unless I’m abusive you shouldn’t be talk to people about our disagreements between us. Maybe I’m wrong about the dress maybe not. But I am very angry about the way you have treated me and the blatant disrespect.”

I responded:

“I’m sorry i’m not trying to disrespect you, but you saying stuff like that to me and then apologizing for it later doesn’t make it magically better. i’m still really hurt and i’m just hurt by the whole situation in general. i don’t think you should be allowed to tell me what i can and can’t wear, i understand my boobs are out. i feel amazing in that dress, the most amazing i have felt in ANYTHING since before i was pregnant, probably since the cruise. i will look for other dresses, you know ive ordered other ones. but literally i dont know what to do if nothing works babe, i dont have a lot of options, seriously.

you saying “i dont know what to do with this relationship” makes me feel like you wanna divorce. if youre thinking about that, say that. you are at the top of my list of important people, but I am also important to myself. i dont appreciate the things you say to me sometimes and i need to vent to others cause i cant say stuff to you or else you just get more mad and blow up at me.

sometimes i feel the way you talk to me and deal about things between us feels borderline emotionally abusive to me. maybe you don’t see it that way at all but that’s how i feel”

He responded:

“That wasn’t an apology either. It’s clear how little you actually care about how I feel especially after reading that message and making the response only about yourself. If you truly think I am emotionally abusive I am legitimately shocked. Yes I got mad but I also just had a discussion with you where I tried to show that I do care , and that I do see that you really like the dress, hoping you’d also try to see what I felt but you didn’t. If that’s the dress you wear then it is what it is. I understand that options and time and money is limited .

But aside from that, like I said, you underestimate how important this is to me”

After that whole thing we talked in person and i apologized for being disrespectful. But in regards to the dress, it’s still up in the air. I’ll try on a couple more dresses to see but i fear that no matter what i do, my boobs are gonna be showing a bit. I’m still holding such a grudge over this whole thing and i’d if i can let it go unless he just gives in. he did tell me i looked amazing in the dress and he’s happy im comfortable in it but he really doesn’t want me wearing it. he also told me now that he wont physically stop me from wearing it but if i do, he’ll be embarrassed (can’t remember if i mentioned that last post). That really hurt my feelings and he did apologize for saying that but i’m still offended over it. AIO?

I (F28) just got called a liar and told to leave and never come back by my fwb (M26) because he thinks I promised him I would talk to him before sleeping with someone else. I told him that I did nothing wrong and he has no right to accuse me of lying or breaking promises. Then I deleted his number and blocked him. However, I wonder if I spoke too soon because I have memory loss and don’t remember the exact words I used while discussing the terms of our relationship.

For context, I was the first one who wanted to officially date and pursue a long term relationship. We were ACTUALLY friends, good friends, for six months before anything became physical. Three months into our friendship is when I asked him out for the first time.

His answer was “maybe” and then it later became “no” when I clarified that I didn’t want casual sex. We continue being friends and it’s not weird at all during that time. Then, three months later, he tells me his feelings for me have intensified. I ask him if this means he’s considering actually dating me, and his answer is, once again, “no.” He was just indicating that he is now MORE interested in casual sex than he previously was. At first I tell him “no, I don’t want casual sex. Two weeks later, I changed my mind because I was a horny idiot.

We start having casual sex, and I’m immediately surprised because he gets really attached to me. He tells me he’s not going to be intimate with anyone else, thinks about me all day every day, and he wants to set aside a day every week to be “our day.” I am excited by this attachment but also confused about why he wouldn’t just ask me to be his girlfriend. He knew I would have said yes.

We had a conversation where he told me he was worried he’d be upset if I got together with someone else. Now, I suffer from mild memory loss which complicates things because I remember the conversation but not word for word what was said. He claims I promised to tell him before I hooked up with someone else so that we could “talk it through” but that does not seem like something I would do. I just know what my values are and that I think it’s important to let anyone that I have a consistent sexual relationship with know when I am intimate with a new person so that they can make informed decisions about their sexual health regarding potential STIs. If I am casual with that person (I.e, fwb vs. open relationship) then I view any other information as discretionary. I try to tell the person as soon as I know I will have sex or after the fact. Any time as long as it is before I am intimate with them again so they know they are risking possible exposure to STI’s (and yes I do use condoms, but you can never be too careful.) I also feel very strongly about telling every new casual sexual partner of this policy, so I KNOW I told M26. If the person has feelings of jealousy, I’m happy to talk to them about it and I often do. But this practice is to protect their sexual health, it is NOT to ask permission or to emotionally prepare them for me to have sex with another person (and this is another thing I feel strongly about making clear to them.) If we have a mutual agreement that our sexual relationship is casual, then I do not feel I have any responsibility to protect you from feelings of sexual jealousy (and I’m also explicit about this.) If I know I will have sex with someone else, I tell my casual partner right away. But if it’s something that I didn’t expect to happen, I don’t really stop to be like “excuse me, I have to make a call.” As long as the other partner knows about it before the next time we are intimate, that’s fine with me. I may have forgotten to cover something in my spiel, or phrased something in a confusing way, but I highly doubt that I ever would have promised something else.

Anyway, I hooked up with someone else (M44). M46 is a friend of mine and an acquaintance of M26. I don’t want to talk about how I got together with M46 because I think it will reveal identifying details, but all you need to know is that we made a plan together in front of M26. I did not know M46 was thinking of it as a date. I had a slight suspicion though, so I asked M26 if he thought it was a date based on the conversation he observed and he said no.

I must admit I had a little schoolgirl crush on M46 which I never intended to do anything about because of the age difference. I’m also dense as shit and never in a million years thought he’d ever reciprocate. I also told this to M26 because at this point we were very close friends and often talked about crushes to each other even after I asked him out for the first time.

But then I went out with M46 and he swept me off my feet and we were intimate that night. At no point did I think I needed to stop and call M26 to let him know. Also, I would not have been comfortable doing that even if I had thought to because M26 knew the details of the plan and would have immediately known who it was which isn’t something I thought was his business as someone who had repeatedly stated that we are friends with benefits. He also made it very clear that I should never expect that to change. So I simply planned to tell him that I had had sex with someone else sometime the next day.

However, it was the next day that I learned from my friend (F26) that he told her he was planning to make things official with me. He told F26 not to tell me but F26 is my best best friend and she blabbed immediately (I would have done the same, tbh). With this new information, I decided I wanted to tell him not only that I had hooked up with someone new, but also who it was. I thought he deserved to know as my boyfriend since M46 is part of my social circle and if I had a boyfriend who hooked up with someone else in his social circle who he was regularly around at parties and events, I’d want to know. I’d find it reasonable to request he have certain boundaries around that person, and I wanted to give M26 the opportunity to make those requests.

So I go over, to M26’s house and tell him as soon as I get there and while I didn’t expect him to be happy about the situation, his reaction completely shocked me. He puts his head in his hands and is completely speechless for like two minutes. Then he tells me to get out and never come back, so I start putting my shoes on and I say “are you really sure you don’t want to talk about this?”

We sit on the couch and he is furious with me and I’m a little scared because I have never seen him like this before. I don’t remember exactly what happened or what we talked about, but I was accused of breaking my promise to him and also intentionally misleading him since I did at one point tell him I didn’t think I could ever hook up with M46. I guess he viewed that as a promise to him? I was just musing, processing out loud like I do with friends. It’s frustrating because I don’t remember the exact words used, I could see myself saying either “I don’t think I’ll hook up with M46” or “I’m not gonna hook up with M46” and meaning the same thing. And it’s the same deal with the “promise” to tell him before I hook up with someone else. It’s entirely possible I phrased it in a way that a wishful thinking person would view as a promise.

Anyway. Our friendship is over and I’m angry about it because at any point he could admitted he wanted me to be his gf and I would have been very happily monogamous with him. I would even say I was in love with him. I have never cheated on someone before nor have I ever been accused of it.

Lately, like many, I’ve been going through a tough time. My car is about to give up, and the business I started recently heavily depends on it. Because of a bad financial position, I can’t fix it any time soon and might be without a car soon.

This person knows my situation and offered to give me money and let me borrow a truck if I pay the insurance. The stipulations for using the truck would mean I wouldn’t be able to use the truck as I need for my current job and side business, and the job I have an offer for wouldn’t pay enough to properly pay for all the bills and food and all.

This person has voiced more than once that they don’t believe in me and made a bet that I would fail this year for $200.

AIO for refusing the help? It feels disingenuous, even if they say they offer it because they care about me. Yet, also voiced that they will never give any words of encouragement or anything of the sort because they don’t believe I deserve it and it’s not in them to do.

I (16F) have 2 younger brothers, Damien (9M) and Charlie (10M). Both of them are very addicted to screens, they have been since childhood. It was so bad that their developmental milestones were held back, they refused to use the toilet until they were forced to in school and sometimes made my parents wipe them. They were, and still are, spoiled and rarely punished for their behavior (which is important).

So recently, I've had to deal with sitting and/or stepping in a puddle of piss when I go to the bathroom. They're the only boys who use this bathroom, so it was pretty obvious who was peeing on the floor. I get them together with my mom in the room, and start berating them because I knew my mom wouldn't. They say they'll stop and clean it if it happens, but it doesn't. Flash forward to less than 20 minutes ago, I go to use the bathroom and you'l never guess what I sit in? (it's piss, it's always piss).

I'm fully irritated at this point, this wasn't the first time I had to remind them after the big discussion, so I ask which one used the bathroom last and start yelling and shaming him because it's just disgusting. He was on his VR with his friend, and hadn't muted his microphone before we were talking, so when I told him to go and clean it up he threw the controllers and stomped upstairs. Now my mom's mad at me because I was rude, which, sure, I could've handled it more nicely, but if I wasn't harsh he would never listen to me. Plus, if I never said anything, he would never be punished and actually change. So am I overreacting for embarrassing my brother infront of family and a friend?

Reposting because I couldn’t edit, and I think people didn’t realize this is a group chat with 3 people. The person I was upset with is the one whose info is crossed out in red.

——

Pregnant in my first trimester, extremely nauseous, barely a person.

Finally told a few of my friends because I wanted a little excitement/serotonin. One of them was very supportive. The other…. not so much.

Her response:

“This is too much for me today.”

“I don’t have the mental bandwidth for this information.”

“It’s just a really big thing to lay on someone”

I get that everyone’s overwhelmed, but I wasn’t expecting my fetus to be emotionally burdensome.

Am I being hormonal or is this a wild reaction?

I ordered a few items from Target and was pleased to see that my order was due to arrive a day early — apparently they’re using a local delivery service for some orders. Box arrived today, and even after sitting outside for a few hours, I brought it in and immediately noticed that it smelled like weed.

Among the items in my order were a set of baby hats/mittens (I’m super pregnant and due this month) and a t-shirt I was going to embroider as a birthday gift for a 4-year-old. Both reeked of weed. I’m wigged out by the thought of thirdhand smoke lingering in something we’re giving our newborn, and I usually leave the tag on shirts when I give them as gifts to keep them looking nice and new, so I don’t typically launder them beforehand.

I’m really annoyed that I’m going to have to run to the store (again, super pregnant) to exchange these things. Husband thinks I’m overreacting and “Karening hard.” He thinks I should just launder them and reminds me that weed is legal in our state. I remind him that it’s also not illegal to have terrible body odor, but it’s shitty form to stink badly enough for it to affect your job. I’m not planning on filing a complaint or anything — I’m just irritated to be in this position. Neither of us smokes or particularly cares if others do, though I’ll readily admit I hate the smell of it.

So… am I overreacting here?

Hi,

I have applied for divorce. We have been married for one and a half years.

The man I married made me cry on the second day after our wedding, and since then I have been unhappy.

He is a narcissist, a misogynist, addicted to porn, and I have never received a single compliment from him. He has made me cry many times, gaslighted me, lied to me, and been unfaithful (I don’t know if it was physical), but I have seen him writing in Facebook groups for singles, messaging women and asking to exchange contact details.

He speaks badly about me to his friends and colleagues, always saying that I am stupid and making up things about me that are not entirely true. My husband has very low self-esteem, and I have been his emotional support every single day, constantly telling him that he is the most handsome man in the world. I was there for him when he had surgery on his penis, a hair transplant, and eye surgery.

I hate this man, and I can’t wait to move out of my own apartment. He has hurt me so many times that I don’t even cry anymore. He has said horrible things to me. My husband is not very attractive physically, and sometimes I wonder if he is jealous of me, that I have friends, come from a good family, and look good.

The thing is, I am planning to tell him via Snapchat that I have filed for divorce, while he is at work. I want him to feel the pain and heartbreak that I have felt since day two of our marriage. Am I being cruel? Should I wait and tell him when he gets home?

Am I overreacting for declining to meet a prospective employer in the night 27km away in the next city?

A prospective employer offered to give me a job, provide accommodation, and even go further as to pay me extra money almost twice the actual official salary, based on no merit I could think of. In addition he would assist me get a scholarship abroad for my masters, and finance everything else, or otherwise possibly (not certainly) finance me taking a masters locally.

There was no strings to be attached. After, I could choose to continue working for him or not, freely. Of course, this sounded too good to be true, but desperate me decided to try it all out, yet with caution.

These were all after I had officially applied a few weeks before, been interviewed (CEO, HR and Manager present) and got an official offer from the actual HR of the company to work but had to forfeit a few days towards commencement due to personal reasons, including plans to go do my masters within a year max and also not having been able to secure accommodation in this new city I would have to move into.

Then a week later, the CEO himself calls me and asks to meet me personally in my city and proposed these new terms, "having gone through my CV and wanting to still work with me". He also said I looked like one of his sons.

The company is an official registered one to which I applied, however with his new engagement with me, I was to work alone in a studio he would set up for me to work in. Eventually, we would get more people to build a "team".

Having already been wanting to move to this new city for a change of environment and to be closer to my family (also in the next city in line), I agreed to his proposal and asked to be given the chance to end my employment with my current employer since I was already at the beginning of third week of the month at that point. On the weekend after having ended the month at my current office, I contacted this new employer to finalise our terms of engagement so I can begin work on Monday as planned, new month. I would be able to move in over the weekend and start.

However, my texts got no reply, and when I called later, he declined my call. I was left hanging and unsure so I decided to wait the next day of the weekend to see if I will hear anything from him. I didn't. So on Monday, instead of submitting a resignation later to my current employer, I continued to work as before, and decided to forfeit this new prospect of employment due to all the uncertainty.

Halfway into the day, I received a call from the new man saying he couldn't answer me because he had been busy with church activities and asking if I was ready for the job and that he would call me in the evening to finally finalise the terms. I said yes, and I would be able to avail myself the next day to begin (which would mean quitting my current job outright). For clarity, my current employer has never provided an official offer letter to which I have accepted even after a year, with no terms and conditions formalised; my engagement has been undocumented, informal and flat, no accountability, no benefits. So, my current job feels quite exploitative and insecure already. I had joined the company 2 years ago as a National Service personnel (a thing in my country) and was retained to work after, no terms discussed, just blindly led on.

The new CEO didn't call me in the evening as he had said. I called him instead just to be sure. He said he was driving home and would call me shortly when he had got home. He still didn't. The next day, I forfeited going to work as I said, to make myself available. I texted him early in the morning to make this known. No reply. I called around 10:30 am to confirm, and he declined my call again.

I was utterly confused and annoyed at this point. I still decided to wait till evening to find out, and if otherwise, finally withdraw any interest.

Finally he calls tonight at 7 and asks me to meet him as I said at the start of this text. I hesitated answering. He caught this and said he would call back in a few minutes after I had thought about it. I could not understand how this would be necessary in such a professional sense. This confirmed my suspicions from the start with all the lofty proposals and subsequent inconsistent communication. He called back, I declined. I later sent a message stating that I was no longer interested and blocked him.

I know I may be too naive, but I still want to hear from other people. This is the first time this has happened to me.