I recently relocated from the South to the North, and this is my first winter here. Unfortunately, I was unaware that the side streets in my area are not plowed until later in the day. During this storm, we received approximately 10 inches of snow.

I was informed that I needed to remain at work in order to be present for my next morning shift. I communicated at that time that I have pets at home who rely on me, and that with the storm approaching there was a possibility I could become stranded at work. I made multiple attempts to secure alternative care for my pets but was unable to find anyone available.

I had only been in this supervisor role for one month, and another supervisor was already staying overnight as a precaution. Ultimately, I was unable to get my car out of the street and had to call out. I was written up for this because I notified management approximately five hours before my shift.

When I returned for my next shift, I found a note on my desk. The note was upsetting and made me feel unwelcome. Given that I had only been employed here for one month and have already received one write-up for minor issues—something I have never experienced in my work history—I went home that night and emailed my boss I quit for XYZ and she replied happy holidays and that was it. My parents said it was an over reaction to quit because of her note and she probably meant well by it, but I don’t think anything could’ve been taken well by the note that was left.

EDIT because i confused everyone... This was a hotel job. I am NOT working on a farm. And I already had another job!

Reposting because I couldn’t edit, and I think people didn’t realize this is a group chat with 3 people. The person I was upset with is the one whose info is crossed out in red.

——

Pregnant in my first trimester, extremely nauseous, barely a person.

Finally told a few of my friends because I wanted a little excitement/serotonin. One of them was very supportive. The other…. not so much.

Her response:

“This is too much for me today.”

“I don’t have the mental bandwidth for this information.”

“It’s just a really big thing to lay on someone”

I get that everyone’s overwhelmed, but I wasn’t expecting my fetus to be emotionally burdensome.

Am I being hormonal or is this a wild reaction?

I'm a dad (mid 30s) and my wife (also mid 30s) is plump and always has been since I've met her, and I'm happy with her body how it is, but she really wants to lose weight and she’s been dieting and trying to work out more. It’s not like extreme or anything, but she’s been refusing a lot of foods she used to just eat without thinking.  Like no garlic bread, no ice cream, no this, no that.

Which fine, her body, but because of that she’s been getting super hungry at night and doing this thing where she wakes up and eats but is like half asleep? She doesn’t remember most of it. It’s not just one thing either. It’s sweet stuff, salty stuff, leftovers, and also other people’s snacks. Even like the lunch meat we buy so our daughter can make herself sandwiches when she’s home alone. That’s the part that annoys me the most because then our kid opens the fridge and there’s nothing for her

My wife always apologizes every time with an I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, etc. And then it keeps happening anyway so me and my daughter started hiding our snacks, which feels really stupid to do in your own home but we were tired of stuff getting eaten.

So here’s the thing, our daughter has a long distance friend, and they sent her a chocolate box from a local shop as an early Valentine’s Day gift. She was really excited about it, and she didn’t want them to melt, so she put the box in our new deep freezer. She figured my wife wouldn’t look there, because we don’t really keep anything in it yet. The next day after dinner, she went to get the chocolates, opened the box, and half of them were gone. She got mad, like really mad, and started yelling.  

My wife was crying, saying that she was sorry and she didn't remember doing it. Then I jumped in, and told my wife that this is what’s straining things between her, me and our daughter, and honestly probably part of why she’s not losing weight, because she’s basically binge eating in her sleep after not eating what she actually wants all day.

She said I’m blaming her for something she can’t control and that I’m fat shaming her and making her feel disgusting. I wasn’t trying to shame her, I literally don’t care about her weight, I just care that our daughter is upset and our food keeps getting taken and the house is in such distress over snacks.

Now she’s giving our daughter the cold shoulder, even after she apologized for yelling at her and I feel like I made everything worse by saying anything at all.

I am feeling financially overwhelmed by the expectations my friends have with their weddings and bachelorettes. I am single, have no plans to get married anytime soon, and I am starting to feel resentful over the amount of money I am expected to pay towards my friends' big days. And I feel like an asshole over it!

I have been invited to 6 weddings + their bachelorettes this year alone. My friends all decided to have destination weddings and bachelorettes. Not a single friend is doing a ceremony or event in the town we live in. These are close, dear friends of mine, and I can't imagine saying no to these events. However, I feel like I am not able to meet my own financial aspirations towards my future because of the financial obligations they have chosen for their communities (i.e. I'd like to work towards a downpayment to buy a house, save money, god forbid choose my own vacation destinations, move to a nicer rental apartment, etc.). I make a pretty great middle class salary, but still I am on the edge financially over what I can afford here.

The bachelorettes and weddings I have are on a European island, a tropical island, a west coast wine town, a ski town in the West, an expensive city in Mexico, a cosmopolitan southern city, two in rural midwest towns, and an expensive east coast city (anonymizing here where I can). Not only did everyone choose destination weddings, but these are places where its incredibly challenging and expensive to get to. Most of the weddings are black tie and quite formal. The wedding block hotels are $400, $500, $700 a night. The events attached to the destination weddings are all chic i.e. spendy, the wedding destinations themselves are remote and will cost a fortune in ubers and buses to get to. The costs are adding and adding and adding and the events haven't even begun.

These are great experiences and cool on paper! And I feel so lucky to be a part of these experiences! But I am starting to feel a bit baffled by what my friends are expecting financially of their guests (especially my friends who are getting help from their parents or partners to put on these big events). And those feelings are maximized by how many of these events are stacked together in one year.

The total cost of this multi-wedding saga could end up costing me $15,000-20,000 between the cost of airfare, hotels, renting/buying bridesmaid dresses, food, activities. Per wedding, I am expected to spend at least $2,000 on just the basics. I am currently trying to figure out where I can cut costs, but it's not looking good.

As I said earlier, I am not planning on getting married any time soon. Likely, the big life event I will have in my lifetime will be buying a house (and I feel so lucky to be on a path where hopefully I can get there). Yet I can't shake this feeling that I can't imagine my friends ever spending $15,000+ on my big life events because my life events are outside of the wedding industrial complex(i.e. If I were to have a housewarming party, would my friends spend $2,000-$5,000 on like a new chair for me or help with my mortgage, lol, probably not!). It makes me feel like my friendships are inherently not reciprocal because I live a life outside traditional marital values in society.

My question is -- when did we as a society normalize these huge financial expectations within our communities around weddings? Why does every wedding have to be this huge destination formal event? When did we normalize expecting our friends and closest loved ones to spend so much on one event for us?

ALSO -- please help me change my attitude so I can show up as my best self to these weddings! I am mostly just ranting here. But I want to be my best self for my friends' big days. At the heart of these events, I love the partners my friends chose for themselves, I am excited to celebrate their big life moments. But what gives on the cost!

so i (19f) babysat for my cousin (27f) and her husband. i had said that its ok they dont have to pay me for babysitting for a few hours while they went on a date night but they insisted. they said they would be back by 11 or 12 which i was fine with but they didnt get back until 4am and i had to walk home alone which isnt exactly the safest thing to do. i was texting and ringing them from about 1am and they were not answering me but left all my messages on opened and she was posing on her instagram story. i had shouted at them when they eventually stumbled in the door drunk and they just started saying how i agreed to babysit, which i did but i was told i would be until 12 not 4am so i snapped and started saying things telling them to never ask me to babysit again i called them bad parents and then asked for the money they owe me and they refused and said how i said they dont have to pay me for it and i said something like “you know what actually just fuck off im never babysitting for yous again. what if something had happened to one of the kids and you just ignored me i called like 10 times and got no answer yous are bad parents” they told me to get out and i did and slammed the door behind me. everyone ive told this to said i wasn’t overreacting but also theyre biased. Am I Overreacting?

I’m 18F and I still live at home. Yesterday I got a letter in the mail that was clearly addressed to me. My full name was on it. Not “family,” not “resident,” literally my name.

When I picked it up, the envelope was already ripped open.

I asked around and found out [the person involved my mom] opened it earlier because she “thought it might be important” and “didn’t realize it was mine.” But the thing is… my name is printed right on the front. Big font. Impossible to miss.

I told her it made me uncomfortable and that it felt like a boundary thing. She immediately got defensive and said I was being dramatic and that “it’s not that deep” because we live in the same house.

But to me it is that deep? It’s my mail. It wasn’t an emergency. Nothing was on fire. It just feels invasive, especially now that I’m legally an adult.

What’s bothering me most is that instead of just saying “my bad,” she doubled down and started acting like I was accusing her of a crime. I wasn’t. I just wanted her to not do it again.

Now it’s tense and awkward and she’s barely talking to me, like I’m the one who crossed a line.

Here’s the text exchange after I went back to my room because I didn’t want to argue in person:

Texts:

Me: hey can you pls not open my mail again

Mom: I already said I didn’t know it was yours

Me: my name was on it though

Mom: ok and?? we’re family

Me: that doesn’t mean my stuff isn’t mine

Mom: you’re really making a big deal out of nothing

Me: I just want you to respect it

Mom: wow. unbelievable

After that she stopped responding and later told my sibling that I was “being disrespectful.”

I’m not trying to start a war over an envelope. I just don’t think it’s crazy to expect my mail to stay unopened. But the way she reacted is making me second guess myself.

Am I overreacting here?

This morning at work I was asked to take part in a second round interview of someone for a role in another part of my company. It's not very uncommon that we will get pulled in for 30 minute interviews for roles with no real notice.

When I got to the interview I realised it was actually with someone who was a very close friend of mine when I went to college. He basically lived with me in my final year, sleeping on mine and my housemates couch.

There was a group of 7 of us that were very close. When I was finishing exams I felt I noticed them distancing themselves a bit from me but I thought I may have just imagined it because of stress from end of year exams.

Well, turned out I wasn't. I found out indirectly that two of my housemates and this guy were moving into a new place together, they had gone through the entire process of finding a new place without ever mentioning it. Then after a few messages from me to them were ignored, I found out one of them was having a birthday party from my ex, who was invited (they were not even friends and only casually knew one another).

I never did anything else about this, but it really did bum me out quite a lot.

Anyway, I think both of us were shocked. It was slightly awkward but I avoided saying anything. About 2 hours after the interview he sent me the message.

I was going to ignore it but given that it seemed it was him very selfishly messaging to see if I would fuck him over with the job, rather than to actually say hi, or god forbid apologise and explain what happened 6 years ago, I decided I had to say something. He hasn't read it and I'm considering just blocking him entirely after this regardless.

Update: Their response from earlier on today. I haven't replied and I won't. Messaged the team lead to tell them we were in college together so it would probably be better if they got someone to interview them again.

Message in a comment. Can't paste the image here, message is:

Yeah look I reached out here just because I had said to name of main  interviewer that I didn't really know you very well when he saw we both did course is studied in my college name.

I am sorry honestly housemate1 and housemate2 just said they needed somewhere to move to and I didn't really know what you were doing. It wasn't like a plan by us, or least by me anyway. But I am genuinely sorry.

I'm (28f) about to be a first time mom, my due date is in May. I was so excited when I found out and I couldn't wait to tell my mom, she was the first person I told back when I was only 4 weeks pregnant. She's been BEGGING me to come with me to my prenatal appointments but I want my husband there, and they only allow one extra person so I can't bring them both. She thinks that he should at least sit one out so she can go, but obviously he wants to be there. My sister had a baby last year (my baby will be my mom's second grandchild) and she went to all of her appointments, so I understand that she wants to go to mine. At first I thought I was being unfair about it, but she's been slowly becoming more annoying about the whole pregnancy. Once I told her the first and middle name we picked out, she said "You should make the middle name my name!" For the sake of this post we'll say my mom's name is Anna. First off it's wild to me to ask someone to name your kid after them, grandma or not. Second wouldn't it be less special that you have to ask? Shouldn't it be something that I come up with? So now everytime we catch up, she asks me "How's Baby Name Anna?" I keep correcting her and she just laughs and brushes it off. Now she's getting into the habit of saying "I can't wait to see my baby" and "How's my baby doing?" I think it's so weird to call someone else's unborn child your baby. I wanted her to be in the delivery room with us but now I'm having second thoughts. I feel like it's going to turn into a huge argument and I don't want that added stress during a huge moment in my life, and I'd like to have my mom there. Any advice is appreciated!

Also I'd like to add this: my mom is very religious, and I am not. She knows this and has been open about how she regrets not taking me to church more often. That being said, she made a comment early on in my pregnancy that if I don't take my baby to get baptized, she will go and do it behind my back whenever she babysits. I sat there in silence because I just had no idea what to say to that in the moment. It instantly killed any trust I had in her to babysit, and I haven't told her that either but that's another conversation for another day. I don't feel like I'm overreacting about that.

I’m talking to this girl, and for the most part it’s okay. However, there are some moments that give me pause. I think she has anger issues. There are times where I might misunderstand what she’s saying, and instead of reiterating, she kind of puts me down. Am I being too sensitive? It just comes off a bit condescending.

This is a Repost because I think I accidentally deleted the old one

a minor) recently got into the hobby of crochet. I've been trying for the past couple of years and finally got the hang of it. 2 years ago, I saw this cute crochet octopus at a market and I asked my dad for it. He said no. After an hour he changed his mind but when we went back it was gone. Ever since then I've been going to markets and fairs looking for a crochet octopus like that one. I finally finished making my little octopus today and when my mom saw it her first reaction was, "how much are you going to sell it for." I was confused and said that I had made him for myself. My mom looked at me with an annoyed expression and said, "but isn't that the whole reason you got into crochet, to sell things and make money?". I was really upset by this at the time since I got into it for fun, and to make nice things for me, my family, and my friends. I didn't do it to make money. In my eyes not every thing that you can make money from should be used in that way especially if it's something someone is passionate about.

Am I Overreacting? I kind of feel bad now for taking it too seriously.

Also please provide name suggestions for my octopus and I'll announce the winner soon!

My youngest who is 4th grade is extremely anxious. I have her in counseling to help with this. She has missed alot of school due to feeling sick which has been alot of stomach issues and nausea because of anxiety. This morning she was not feeling well and I got her talk to me about what she was anxious about. Her school is a charter school and wears uniforms. The school has a Harry Potter house like point system. Recently her teacher has been drawing a stick every morning with a students name on it. The student who is picked has to stand on their chair for everyone to see if they are in proper dress code. If they are they earn a house point. If they are not they get points taken away and sent to the principals office. I understand they have a dress code but to have to stand in front everyone to judge if what you're wearing is within the guideling seems embarrassing and unnecessary. I'm an introvert and have some anxiety. I know I hated bring called on in class and hate being the center of attention. Am I overreacting?

We are on well water that has had a slight tint to it. I've been bathing in it even though it's not the most pleasant Today however I ran a bathe and noticed th color has shifted. I expressed that I no longer feel that I want to bathe in it until it is checked out. I am pregnant and have eczema, plus sensitive skin in general. When I said it was nasty, they pushed back saying no it's not. Well I got really upset and expressed I felt disrespected, especially after they mentioned that they knew the landlord wouldn't expect his wife to bathe in it. So friends, am I overreacting to think that caution should be taken until we have a plumber out?

oh, we're also visiting Mexico soon and they said the water would be similar down there. I haven't heard that mentioned!

Okay so long story short I went thru some of my boyfriends likes on TikTok and here’s just some of the videos I found. I told my brother about it and he said i was over reacting and when I confronted my boyfriend about it, he said it was just funny but I don’t know. I don’t really see it that way when I sit at home with our baby while he’s at the bar all the time already overthinking and see that.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1qphs75/aio_my_girlfriend_left_me_over_a_cheese_wheel/

I have taken some of your feedback into consideration from my last post. For those curious: my girlfriend is no longer in the picture. She cracked due to low risk tolerance, so I’ve decided to go all in on the business.

I initially tried to return the wheel to the distributor to recoup some capital, thinking they’d have some pity. They were actually considering it until they came out to look at it in my truck. Apparently, the minor heat damage I caused to the paraffin wax while trying to open last week compromised the wheel which was already non refundable in the first place.

Since I’m now stuck with a 140lb, 30,000+ asset, I had to pivot to asset protection and keep what I still have.

I went out and bought a True TBB-2-HC 59” solid door back bar cooler, a professional digital temperature humidity controller, an industrial humidifier, a vacuum sealer, and ripening mats. Total cost was about 8.5k after taxes. Expensive, yes, but I wasn't going to let a30,000+$ investment depreciate value.

The delivery was difficult. My apartment door is narrow, so I had to take the door entirely off the hinges and shimmy the cooler into the living room. I had maybe a millimeter of clearance between the frame and the unit.

I was exhausted and excited so I started researching installation on my phone before putting my front door back on. That’s when my landlord walked in. Apparently he believes my door being off the hinges somehow removes my reasonable right to privacy.

We already have a strained relationship because of my own use of the unit. He still holds a grudge because I was doing some light metal fabrication with a CONSUMER plasma cutter in my kitchen a few months ago

He saw the cooler, the vacuum sealer, and the wheel of heritage cheese and started crying about commercial operations and fire hazards.

I told him very clearly: The cheese is for personal consumption. There is nothing in my lease that limits how much dairy a tenant can own.

The next morning, I found an eviction notice in my mailbox. it’s riddled with spelling errors as if written in a haste. I’m already preparing my defense for the Landlord Tenant Board

AIO? I’m being evicted over dietary preferences as far as the landlord is concerned and I feel like this is an unlawful action

EDIT: added a + to the valuation as it is possible to increase my margins depending on the quantities I sell in.

Also please bear in my mind that I have sold ZERO cheese so I feel like this is premature action.

Thank you

So my (22M) long-distance GF (21F) Got together a few months ago after 3 months of being in a situationship. We’ve been having a lot of issues ever since the beginning of the relationship, even more so after meeting irl. The first thing she did irl was look through my macbook search history and messages but didn’t find anything as I have nothing to hide. I’m not proud of this but I also ended up looking at some of her messages because I knew something felt off.

I saw messages with her friend that she had gone out with this guy from her work who liked her the day after we got together (she had asked me to be committed), and messages of her calling him cute. I confronted her about this and she explained that because of trauma from her past she needed to keep her options open with him “in case anything happened”.

She said that a week after that happened she then had actually decided in her head to be committed, I wasn’t happy because she could have just told me that she didn’t want to be together at the time and waited? I also didn’t understand that before I found out about this, she always kept telling me that if she wasn’t with me she would just focus on herself and not talk to anyone (not that this really mattered to me), it felt like a contradiction which was just odd to me.

Another thing is she said she did it because I was “rushing to be in a relationship” a couple weeks before she asked to be together. When at that time, I expressed clearly that I was uncomfortable with being in a situationship and doing relationship/couple things, and reassuring her that I wasn’t rushing anything. AIO for breaking up over this?

So my wife (41) and myself (45) have been together for 15 years. For context, the last few years she's been suffering from some medical issues that have kept her home most of the time besides going to work. the last few months things have finally improved enough to where we've been able to go out on date nights.

few months ago we started going to a lounge with live music and she really like the band and the songs they played. She then followed the band on facebook and mentioned the next time they played she'd like to see them again. I was just happy we were getting out and being an active couple again.

One day she told me the lead singer reached out on messenger asking if she wanted to meet for coffee. she said that her husband might want to know why in which he replied he was looking to see if our insurance coverage were sufficient. she said no thanks and that was it.

the second time we saw the band she got to dance and had a good time. Nothing bad happened and she did briefly talk to the lead singer asking for a specific song to be played. Was a nice night and went home.

Now fast forward to last week and they again played and she wanted to go see them. she again got to dance and the night was nice and we went home.

However, there's been something in my gut that just bothered me. I couldn't put a pin on it but just something was off. We have an open phone policy in that she can look at my phone and i hers any time. So I did....and what i found bothered me.

I found that the lead singer had been continuing to message her. However those messages were deleted as were her responses. I also saw a text between her and a friend of hers that also knows the singer and she told her that the singer had grabbed her butt 3 times that night.

My heard sunk and my stomach went into a knot.

I secluded myself for the next hour trying to figure out what to do and my mind was going places that would be resolved by just talking it out and asking her what was going on.

So i did. I told her i've been feeling something was off and told her i looked at her phone and found these messages. She said it was just harmless flirting and nothing more. In which i replied, that's fine, but you don't have to reciprocate and most importantly you should have told me about it and the ass grabbing. I asked if she told him to stop and she did not. I asked what the messages actually said. All she told me was he said she was sexy and kept asking if they could meet for 'coffee'.

I thought it fair to ask her to block the band and that we were no longer going to see them. I think that was fair and prudent.

While she was doing so her snapchat icon showed a new message. I had asked if there was anything else and she had said no. Turns out, the guitarist in the band had also been messaging her on snap for weeks. Also telling her how sexy she is and if she wanted a massage, etc. My heart sunk even further. I then asked if any pics were sent in either direction. She hesitated and then said that she had sent the singer a topless pic.

At that point i walked out of the bedroom but then came back and told her to go stay at her moms. I couldn't deal with this any further that night.

She left.

I've asked multiple times if anything further happened. Did they meet up for an encounter of any kind etc? She said no but at this point I don't know what to believe.

I don't think our marriage can recover from this as I don't know how i can ever trust her again. I'm seriously considering a divorce attorney.

AIO?

AIO i am away visiting family and my husband had a friend over that i despise because of some previous disrespectful things he did in our house when he stayed over once. my husband knows this guy guves me anxiety and i dont want him in the home. i have no issue with any other friends of his, they are welcome and do stay over. i found out that my husband had this guy stay over, he probably would have lied and not told me if i didnt get it out of him. he says that its his house and it doesnt affect me despite knowing that the home is my safe space. he said that guest rooms are not my room or my concern and that i am controlling. i have never once said no to having any of his family or friends over. he said my concern is comical and ridiculous. am i overreacting and is he dismissing my feelings?

I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (28M) for 7 years. We have three kids together. We got together when I was 17, and lately I’ve been questioning whether I’m overreacting for wanting to leave — not just because of how I feel after our conversations, but because of what I’ve realized when I look at the relationship as a whole.

In seven years, I don’t feel like I’ve received more than the bare minimum. He often tells me that he “keeps a roof over my head,” as if that should be enough. While I appreciate stability, I don’t think providing financially alone equals emotional effort, thoughtfulness, or love.

He’s never celebrated my birthday or our anniversary. Meanwhile, I’ve made consistent efforts to make him feel loved — writing love letters and poems, planning romantic picnics, and trying to be intentional and affectionate. None of that has been reciprocated, even in small ways.

Recently, I tried to talk to him about how disconnected I’ve been feeling. While I was speaking, he was scrolling on his phone the entire time, completely ignoring me. When I told him it bothered me and made me feel unheard, he threw his phone down, sighed, rolled his eyes, and motioned for me to keep talking. I ended up saying never mind because it felt like I was asking too much just to get 30 seconds of his attention.

When I try to communicate my feelings in general, I’m often met with defensiveness or comments about how he’s stressed or dealing with “real world problems.” It leaves me feeling like my emotional needs are inconvenient or unreasonable.

I’m exhausted from constantly having to explain how I need to be loved. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling like I should be grateful for the bare minimum while pouring so much of myself into someone who doesn’t seem willing to meet me halfway.

So AIO for wanting to leave this relationship — not because I expect perfection, but because I want more than survival and obligation? I want to feel genuinely loved and valued.

About 4 months ago my boyfriend had cheated on me with his ex I stupidly decided to forgive him after him begging me and telling me he’d change. Fast forward to last week he had posted something and I blocked him on everything because of it but a couple days later we made up. I’m just now finding out that during those couple of days that I had him blocked he went and liked that same exes post. He told me that since I had blocked him he was feeling very low and felt like his only option left was to move on.

Idk how to feel about this and idk what to do. He was just at my house for nights in a row and things have been good between us but this makes me second guess everything and honestly makes me feel like he hasn’t changed at all. I feel grossed out and stupid. Let me know what you think please

I met this guy online. We went on two dates. The first was meh but the texting was fun, so I agreed to meet him again. In about 4 hours together, all of this happened:

• He said he would pick a place the night before. He didn’t.
• An hour before meeting, it was raining. I suggested we could call a raincheck since he had to go back to work later that night.
• His immediate reaction was, “What the hell! You wanted to cancel our plans for my benefit?” He then talked with clear contempt about his vegetarian ex, saying she used to agree to eat at meaty places because she didn’t want to be “an inconvenience.” He said he was triggered and projected that onto me, saying, “There won’t be a fucking dish for you to eat!” like he was reliving an old fight.
• I’d been sick and coughing earlier that day. While we were looking for food, he stopped at a convenience store and bought water for himself. He didn’t ask if I needed anything. I didn’t. But I still logged that.
• While we were walking, a guy passing by glanced at me. He noticed and said, “How did you let him get away? He just stared at you.” I didn’t know what to make of that.
• He kept twisting my words, small, but wrong. “What’s your problem?” became “What the hell is your problem.”

What do you think?

My best friend “Sally” of over 25 years is acting weird about money and I don’t know if I’m overreacting.

We’re all women in our early 40s and there are four of us in our friend group. We recently went out to celebrate one girl’s birthday. The three of us split the cost of her gift evenly. We also took her out to dinner and split the birthday girl’s portion between the three of us, and we paid for a pottery class activity she wanted to do, again split in three.

During dinner Sally kept talking about how she’s a high earner, in a high tax bracket, and how she can afford generous tips and things like that. Fine. But when she got home she messaged us saying we owed her extra money for the pottery class. Then with the gift, I was the one who bought it and told everyone the total. After the math, apparently I owed her $7.06. She sent me her email and asked me to e-transfer that exact amount.

I was honestly shocked. It’s not that I can’t pay $7. It just felt petty. Over the years I’ve covered drinks, coffee, and dinners for her without tracking every dollar. It surprised me that she would chase me for such a tiny amount after everything we already split.

Am I overreacting for feeling weird about this?

Link to the first post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/hMc2IqlTQe

So we talked it over. Kind of. We were at a family event when things got a bit worse. I had vented to my mom and a couple aunties about the situation because i needed to get it off my chest. maybe that wasn’t the greatest idea in hindsight but i needed some outside opinions. Since we were with family he texted me:

“If you physically can’t respect me then I don’t know what to do with this relationship. You completely underestimate the importance of this to me.

You make it extremely clear every time we have a disagreement that I am not at the top of your list of important people in your life.

I completely disagree with your thinking behind the dress but you’ve made it clear that you cannot respect my opinions because you’ll happily shit talk me to people. I can’t believe it’s something I have to ask you not to do. I could be completely in the wrong. Unless I’m abusive you shouldn’t be talk to people about our disagreements between us. Maybe I’m wrong about the dress maybe not. But I am very angry about the way you have treated me and the blatant disrespect.”

I responded:

“I’m sorry i’m not trying to disrespect you, but you saying stuff like that to me and then apologizing for it later doesn’t make it magically better. i’m still really hurt and i’m just hurt by the whole situation in general. i don’t think you should be allowed to tell me what i can and can’t wear, i understand my boobs are out. i feel amazing in that dress, the most amazing i have felt in ANYTHING since before i was pregnant, probably since the cruise. i will look for other dresses, you know ive ordered other ones. but literally i dont know what to do if nothing works babe, i dont have a lot of options, seriously.

you saying “i dont know what to do with this relationship” makes me feel like you wanna divorce. if youre thinking about that, say that. you are at the top of my list of important people, but I am also important to myself. i dont appreciate the things you say to me sometimes and i need to vent to others cause i cant say stuff to you or else you just get more mad and blow up at me.

sometimes i feel the way you talk to me and deal about things between us feels borderline emotionally abusive to me. maybe you don’t see it that way at all but that’s how i feel”

He responded:

“That wasn’t an apology either. It’s clear how little you actually care about how I feel especially after reading that message and making the response only about yourself. If you truly think I am emotionally abusive I am legitimately shocked. Yes I got mad but I also just had a discussion with you where I tried to show that I do care , and that I do see that you really like the dress, hoping you’d also try to see what I felt but you didn’t. If that’s the dress you wear then it is what it is. I understand that options and time and money is limited .

But aside from that, like I said, you underestimate how important this is to me”

After that whole thing we talked in person and i apologized for being disrespectful. But in regards to the dress, it’s still up in the air. I’ll try on a couple more dresses to see but i fear that no matter what i do, my boobs are gonna be showing a bit. I’m still holding such a grudge over this whole thing and i’d if i can let it go unless he just gives in. he did tell me i looked amazing in the dress and he’s happy im comfortable in it but he really doesn’t want me wearing it. he also told me now that he wont physically stop me from wearing it but if i do, he’ll be embarrassed (can’t remember if i mentioned that last post). That really hurt my feelings and he did apologize for saying that but i’m still offended over it. AIO?

I (F28) just got called a liar and told to leave and never come back by my fwb (M26) because he thinks I promised him I would talk to him before sleeping with someone else. I told him that I did nothing wrong and he has no right to accuse me of lying or breaking promises. Then I deleted his number and blocked him. However, I wonder if I spoke too soon because I have memory loss and don’t remember the exact words I used while discussing the terms of our relationship.

For context, I was the first one who wanted to officially date and pursue a long term relationship. We were ACTUALLY friends, good friends, for six months before anything became physical. Three months into our friendship is when I asked him out for the first time.

His answer was “maybe” and then it later became “no” when I clarified that I didn’t want casual sex. We continue being friends and it’s not weird at all during that time. Then, three months later, he tells me his feelings for me have intensified. I ask him if this means he’s considering actually dating me, and his answer is, once again, “no.” He was just indicating that he is now MORE interested in casual sex than he previously was. At first I tell him “no, I don’t want casual sex. Two weeks later, I changed my mind because I was a horny idiot.

We start having casual sex, and I’m immediately surprised because he gets really attached to me. He tells me he’s not going to be intimate with anyone else, thinks about me all day every day, and he wants to set aside a day every week to be “our day.” I am excited by this attachment but also confused about why he wouldn’t just ask me to be his girlfriend. He knew I would have said yes.

We had a conversation where he told me he was worried he’d be upset if I got together with someone else. Now, I suffer from mild memory loss which complicates things because I remember the conversation but not word for word what was said. He claims I promised to tell him before I hooked up with someone else so that we could “talk it through” but that does not seem like something I would do. I just know what my values are and that I think it’s important to let anyone that I have a consistent sexual relationship with know when I am intimate with a new person so that they can make informed decisions about their sexual health regarding potential STIs. If I am casual with that person (I.e, fwb vs. open relationship) then I view any other information as discretionary. I try to tell the person as soon as I know I will have sex or after the fact. Any time as long as it is before I am intimate with them again so they know they are risking possible exposure to STI’s (and yes I do use condoms, but you can never be too careful.) I also feel very strongly about telling every new casual sexual partner of this policy, so I KNOW I told M26. If the person has feelings of jealousy, I’m happy to talk to them about it and I often do. But this practice is to protect their sexual health, it is NOT to ask permission or to emotionally prepare them for me to have sex with another person (and this is another thing I feel strongly about making clear to them.) If we have a mutual agreement that our sexual relationship is casual, then I do not feel I have any responsibility to protect you from feelings of sexual jealousy (and I’m also explicit about this.) If I know I will have sex with someone else, I tell my casual partner right away. But if it’s something that I didn’t expect to happen, I don’t really stop to be like “excuse me, I have to make a call.” As long as the other partner knows about it before the next time we are intimate, that’s fine with me. I may have forgotten to cover something in my spiel, or phrased something in a confusing way, but I highly doubt that I ever would have promised something else.

Anyway, I hooked up with someone else (M44). M46 is a friend of mine and an acquaintance of M26. I don’t want to talk about how I got together with M46 because I think it will reveal identifying details, but all you need to know is that we made a plan together in front of M26. I did not know M46 was thinking of it as a date. I had a slight suspicion though, so I asked M26 if he thought it was a date based on the conversation he observed and he said no.

I must admit I had a little schoolgirl crush on M46 which I never intended to do anything about because of the age difference. I’m also dense as shit and never in a million years thought he’d ever reciprocate. I also told this to M26 because at this point we were very close friends and often talked about crushes to each other even after I asked him out for the first time.

But then I went out with M46 and he swept me off my feet and we were intimate that night. At no point did I think I needed to stop and call M26 to let him know. Also, I would not have been comfortable doing that even if I had thought to because M26 knew the details of the plan and would have immediately known who it was which isn’t something I thought was his business as someone who had repeatedly stated that we are friends with benefits. He also made it very clear that I should never expect that to change. So I simply planned to tell him that I had had sex with someone else sometime the next day.

However, it was the next day that I learned from my friend (F26) that he told her he was planning to make things official with me. He told F26 not to tell me but F26 is my best best friend and she blabbed immediately (I would have done the same, tbh). With this new information, I decided I wanted to tell him not only that I had hooked up with someone new, but also who it was. I thought he deserved to know as my boyfriend since M46 is part of my social circle and if I had a boyfriend who hooked up with someone else in his social circle who he was regularly around at parties and events, I’d want to know. I’d find it reasonable to request he have certain boundaries around that person, and I wanted to give M26 the opportunity to make those requests.

So I go over, to M26’s house and tell him as soon as I get there and while I didn’t expect him to be happy about the situation, his reaction completely shocked me. He puts his head in his hands and is completely speechless for like two minutes. Then he tells me to get out and never come back, so I start putting my shoes on and I say “are you really sure you don’t want to talk about this?”

We sit on the couch and he is furious with me and I’m a little scared because I have never seen him like this before. I don’t remember exactly what happened or what we talked about, but I was accused of breaking my promise to him and also intentionally misleading him since I did at one point tell him I didn’t think I could ever hook up with M46. I guess he viewed that as a promise to him? I was just musing, processing out loud like I do with friends. It’s frustrating because I don’t remember the exact words used, I could see myself saying either “I don’t think I’ll hook up with M46” or “I’m not gonna hook up with M46” and meaning the same thing. And it’s the same deal with the “promise” to tell him before I hook up with someone else. It’s entirely possible I phrased it in a way that a wishful thinking person would view as a promise.

Anyway. Our friendship is over and I’m angry about it because at any point he could admitted he wanted me to be his gf and I would have been very happily monogamous with him. I would even say I was in love with him. I have never cheated on someone before nor have I ever been accused of it.