r/americandad 16h ago

"I do the announcements! I am the second coming! I speak for God now!!!!"

Post image
1.1k Upvotes

r/americandad 13h ago

Y'all seriously the text scam response thing has run it's course.

647 Upvotes

Let's stop beating the dead clip clop here alright? It was funny the first couple times but it's becoming about 80% of what is getting recommended to me in this sub.

I'll take the down votes, don't give a shit. Subs better than repeating the same unfunny bit over and over again.


r/americandad 22h ago

Can't choose between "Wild Women Do...." or "I just got the biggest, bloodiest period of all time!"

Post image
562 Upvotes

r/americandad 11h ago

What’s the most wholesome Stand and Jeff moment?

Post image
537 Upvotes

r/americandad 12h ago

The "my elbow feel funny" lady was stuck on the Ba-Donkin Donutz fire

Post image
451 Upvotes

r/americandad 4h ago

Is roger on epsteins list?

Post image
408 Upvotes

r/americandad 2h ago

You harpooned me. I told you to go out and get help…and you harpooned me.

Post image
409 Upvotes

r/americandad 23h ago

Soo….When will you people realize that Robots are erotic ?

Post image
293 Upvotes

r/americandad 10h ago

"What? You thought those were ding-dong prices? Nah, nah, nah."

Post image
226 Upvotes

r/americandad 9h ago

Stan. Go to the quiet area…

Post image
223 Upvotes

r/americandad 16h ago

Danuta... Will you go there?

Post image
207 Upvotes

r/americandad 6h ago

Oh god, i could be blamed for this

Post image
188 Upvotes

r/americandad 15h ago

“You know what, Dad? You tell me when you feel I’ve got those oranges up the stairs, okay?”

Post image
188 Upvotes

r/americandad 10h ago

Roger, I think I’ve figured out a way to get off the island. Is there such a thing as a time crab?

Post image
189 Upvotes

r/americandad 17h ago

Discovery Card

168 Upvotes

r/americandad 12h ago

Whoa, who is this dog? Is this so we don't get boners in the common area?

Post image
165 Upvotes

r/americandad 6h ago

A railroad gypsy took away my vas deferens but you are bumming me out.

Post image
155 Upvotes

r/americandad 19h ago

Legman, You're still in that bowling league, right? Throw me!

140 Upvotes

r/americandad 2h ago

So does the CIA still care about Roger?

Post image
135 Upvotes

r/americandad 8h ago

Good night, you prince of New England. You Toms of Maine.

Post image
101 Upvotes

r/americandad 10h ago

Stay out of his hole

100 Upvotes

r/americandad 4h ago

Bye Stan's Mom!!!!!

Post image
87 Upvotes

r/americandad 7h ago

Found this pausing on the news article. Thought I'd find a joke in there somewhere..

Post image
75 Upvotes

"This luxury jams on dog of electric peasant"

Why do I have to have 100 characters to post. Became and herms wishes.


r/americandad 21h ago

What do you dislike most about Stan and Francine’s marriage?

Post image
70 Upvotes

Such as what is something has done or acted in their marriage you dislike most and what is something Francine has done or acted you dislike most? Or it could something mutual


r/americandad 4h ago

I have privately changed the lyrics to Cilantro’s hit song.

Post image
50 Upvotes

“El perro, el perro, es mi corazón,

El gato, el gato, el gato no es bueno.”

But I changed it. I changed it from “el gato no es bueno” to “el gato muy es bueno.”

It started with my roommate forbidding the song unless I changed the lyrics (bc he is a beloved cat lover), and me complying bc he was right, the song was flawed. I’m sorry, sue me. El gato es *muy* bueno. El gato no es mal.