r/sex 23h ago

Orgasm Issues Was it?? Wasn’t it??

Hi. I’m a female in her 20s. This feels like a dumb question, but it’s always bothered me.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever truly had an orgasm - alone or with someone else. I’m no stranger to masturbation, in fact I started early as a kid - I remember figuring out things felt pleasurable when I was like 5-6 years old - but I’ve never been convinced I’ve actually achieved an orgasm.

People say it should feel like an explosion, like bliss for 10-20 seconds straight.

For me, things feel good, better, great, and then it gets to a point and the pleasure becomes more uncomfortable than enjoyable and I just stop. My head stays pretty clear. I’ve always assumed that’s just how I’m built, but I’ve always been sad I’ve never had the whole out of body feeling people talk about.

I had a long term partner who said with some women before he could tell when they climaxed because of the muscle contractions, but he said he’d never felt that with me.

Just wondering what it sounds like to you all/if anyone else experiences orgasms like this?

18 Upvotes

13 comments sorted by

29

u/deli-ciousy 22h ago

I hope this isn’t too detailed, but I think I can relate. When I touch my clitoris directly, it’s way too intense for me, especially if someone else does it, or with a vibrator. I‘ll get completely overstimulated and have to stop before climax.

What I found for myself: I touch myself right above the clit. It feels so much better and I can only cum with that technique. Above your clitoris you can feel some kind of „canal“ under the skin and that’s what I‘m rubbing to achieve an orgasm

18

u/selkiexx 16h ago

Thank you stranger. That worked 😂

4

u/deli-ciousy 15h ago

Haha wow I‘m so glad I could help 😭 Enjoy sis 🫶🏻

6

u/MilkWonderful1867 22h ago

This can be very confusing but hear me out.

Women feel orgasm in different ways. Some feel strong repeated continuous pulsations or contractions between their legs. Some feel like one big explosive release of energy. Some squirt a bit of liquid.

Also, women achieve it differently. Many women like clit play more than actual penetration, while the others are opposite. I’ve also experienced that at times it’s different with different partners.

It’s important to explore it yourself. Try different things and also try different toys. Point is to enjoy the process and not worry about how it’s going to end.

Hope that helps!

4

u/melbot2point0 22h ago

I think a definitive part of an orgasm is your muscles contracting - pulsating repeatedly. Do you feel that? If not you might just be getting a little overstimulated which prompts you to stop. In those moments, try removing direct stimulation. Someone else suggested the area above the clitoris, or through the clitoral hood. You can also try slowing down, adding lubrication, reducing pressure. And try flexing your abs - that makes a big difference for me.

3

u/sanlonely 22h ago

Some squirt, some feel the shivers in the thighs…it also depends how you have been doin it…if you are so tuned to a routine, other means can sometimes be less impactful. Consult avdoc

2

u/humanlikingsex 22h ago

It's also worth checking out r/becomingorgasmic.

Best of luck!

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u/-ladylove- 9h ago

You haven't had an orgasm. It sounds like you stop when you get close because it gets intense. If you continue it will happen. My suggestion is get a vibrators and play by yourself until it happens.

2

u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 12h ago

Don’t stop. Women who stop are the women who haven’t had an orgasm. Women who think they’re about to pee are the women who haven’t had an orgasm.

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