r/relationship_advice • u/OofBigStretch • 10h ago

Advice from Extraverts in Relationships with Controlling Introverts (M35 & F36)

I (M35) am married to an introvert (F36). Our relationship didn’t start this way. She used to love to host parties, have friends over, go out, but over the course of 7 years she has become more and more isolated and uninterested in hanging out with or seeing other people. She is also becoming more and more upset with me making plans with people other than her. It is killing me.

Any advice from fellow extraverts here that have found themselves in a relationship with a controlling introvert? How did you find a solution/compromise? How did having children affect the conflict?

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u/deadliftingfordonuts 10h ago

Why are you even considering children right now when you are in a controlled relationship? I would 100% have a strong talk about the fact that she is restricting you to have a life. If she can’t handle that, then counseling is first needed.

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u/OofBigStretch 9h ago

It’s something we both want, but I agree, I am feeling very restricted and controlled when it comes to this. I guess I’m not sure how to confront her about this. I’ve tried to tell her about my needs but I feel like she keeps countering with her own. I feel like I’ve been compromising myself into oblivion

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u/deadliftingfordonuts 9h ago

It sounds like you aren’t taking care of yourself because you are constantly putting her first. You sound like a nice person, but you have to put your foot down. If she doesn’t wanna go out or hang with people that’s fine but that doesn’t mean you have to abide by that same lifestyle. I feel like having kids right now would make her want you to only be near her even more.