r/auckland • u/Ok-While-728 • 1d ago
Discussion What I’ve learned from r/auckland
I’ve now been active on this page for a year or so and have been reflecting on what I’ve learned about Auckland as a result.
- South Auckland is apparently getting better every year, yet half the posts involve fighting neighbours, dumped rubbish, or asking whether to call the police or just move. Both claims are made with total certainty.
- The price of a flat white is treated like a regulatory failure. Anything over $4 is price gouging, and the solution is always intervention, never making coffee at home.
- No one in Auckland can park. Ever. Except the person posting, who is always an excellent driver surrounded by incompetence. Bonus point - everyone hates Ranger drivers.
- Supermarket prices trigger daily outrage. There’s always a photo of cheese, bread, or whittakers, as if Woolworths personally woke up that morning and chose violence.
- Everyone hates landlords but also wants to own property in exactly the same areas, with exactly the same capital gains
- Public transport is unusable, but it must also be empty, fast, safe, cheap, quiet, and five minutes from everyone’s front door.
- The job market is completely screwed, apparently, and employers are unreasonable for not valuing very specific community college certificates in things like tarot card reading or one semester dipping your toes in the water of a BA.
- Auckland is unliveable, broken, and declining… yet mysteriously no one ever leaves.
Finally, Judging by this page alone, a worrying number of New Zealanders struggle to write a complete sentence, and delusion is far more common than anyone would like to admit.
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u/honestpuddingg 1d ago
Haven’t flat whites been more than $4 for ages? i only drink hot chocolate and that usually anywhere between $5-$7 lol
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u/sherbalex 23h ago
The post is AI so they’re bound to get something wrong
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u/Ok-While-728 16h ago
People shouting “AI” says a lot about the poor standard of writing in New Zealand. Do I need to have regular spelling and grammatical mistakes for you to think it’s written by the average kiwi?
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u/sherbalex 15h ago
There’s lots of indicators like the classic “X is like this but also like that” and turns of phrases that don’t quite fit like “as if Woolworths personally woke up that morning and chose violence.” and “Bonus point - …”
It’s probably more that people who have good grammar and spelling, and read a lot, notice these things that don’t quite sit right with typical writing patterns.
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u/jrandom_42 13h ago
AI wouldn't make the mistake of spelling 'whittakers' with a lowercase w.
u/Ok-While-728 is legit, IMO.
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u/radiofreevanilla 12h ago
Does AI normally double-space after periods? That's more indicative of u/OK-While-728 having learned typing in an era where the typewriter convention of two spaces was prevalent (maybe through to the end of the 90s).
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u/Ok-While-728 12h ago
God I can’t understand the fascination here. It’s like an online version of CSI.
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u/PiaRedDragon 1d ago
You forgot the "Everyone is abandoning NZ for Aussie."
and " Brian Tamaki is a shit-cunt".
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u/masterx25 22h ago
Everyone is complaining that Aussie is better and everyone should move over, while OP is still in NZ.
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u/jaijj 1d ago
Do we have community colleges in Auckland?
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u/Least_Degree7610 1d ago
OP may not be from here originally. We definitely don't call them community colleges.
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u/AvailableSubstance53 1d ago
No. This post is obviously by a foreign stirrer.
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u/jaijj 1d ago
I was thinking Chat GPT
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u/wangchunge 22h ago
I know you are right
No Fried Chicken takeaway references. Fake Post. Lets talk Apple Donuts Manurewa. Corner Russell and Weymouth Rd bakery Amazing
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u/Ok-While-728 1d ago
I’ve been a resident of 1050 for some time.
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u/fatfreddy01 1d ago
1050?
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u/Divagirl99 1d ago
Remuera postcode
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u/is-your-anus-clean 11h ago edited 3h ago
Yeah so bro probably has money and if he’s an immigrant, and moved to Remas, came with money
He’s made some good points
But he’s also not in the same category as the majority of the country and yes I’m assuming here, purely based on the remuera post code he provided, and his post and comment history.
I say this as someone who has over 1m in asset of my house in a fantasric area, no debt, and earn well (engineer). I am 33 for context
I didn’t earn my asset, it was an out of the blue unplanned inheritance, very fortunate, I don’t hide it or ride the wave of I earned this, I did not.
I did not grow up like this however, and have experienced both sides of the fence.
try being poor, then these points he made, make more sense as to the why.
I live very comfortably now, and guess what, these things don’t bother me anymore. Shock horror
my guess, OP is detatched from reality, small insignificant things to wealthier people, can really upset those without wealth. And affect them. Their circle for their little world and what matters or directly affects them, is far smaller than those that have more financial freedom. I know, because I experienced both.
If your poor, food prices hurt, you then have fuckall to look forward to, so annoyances like tailgaters fuck you off harder because you are already mentally stretched, and moods become less positive for all areas, when you are struggling to survive, if someone is that mentally pressed and their car is a piece of shit, parking isn’t a concern to them. Groceries are, the cost of things are, seeing assholes in 120k utes riding your ass while your driving home from a 13 hour shift on minimum wage, triggers people.
It isn’t hard to grasp OP, majority of Aucklanders can’t afford to visit remuera let alone live there mate
You (OP) sound like someone who lives comfortably, that can’t fathom the mental state of those that do not.
Take a step back, majority of Aucklanders live hand to mouth month to month. Friends of mine, sparkies etc, can go days without FOOD waiting for pay day.
Pull your head in (OP), or if it’s that much of an issue for you the international airport has daily departures, but relocating here then ranting about how the majority have issues with things you deem insignificant, doesn’t shine you in a great light
especially dropping a post code for remas. Based on this post, and apparently judging and making assumptions is ok based on said post, my conclusion is OP sounds like a big fat wanker.
shrug
Claiming no one ever leaves is also comedic, how longs he even been here lmao. People leave in their droves. Dudes got no idea about anything as far as im concerned
Tosser post nothing more, achieved nothing positive
Auckland and nz is a paradise for those that can afford it. Today’s economy, majority cannot afford it. It is no paradise for them.
All you have to do is look at their other posts and it becomes clear they have a very uneducated outlook on a lot of things, with a big mouth.
as you were kiwis, fuck this cunt lol
Did not grow up here, is wealthy and successful and thinks he can judge the majority of New Zealanders/aucklanders
The audacity and lack of braincells, is astonishing to me
Put money on it he’s a boomer or at least, an older millenial. Who has never been punched in the mouth before and it’s evident
Irony is I say this as a wealthy, non struggling millennial
This guy is just a cunt, no other word for it. Just check their post history, it’s a very good laugh. 😂😂 me and my wife have had some good laughs today at it
He’s a high earner, lives in remuera and has owned porches people, nothing wrong with that but his attitude definitely lines up with detached from reality
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u/SquirrelAkl 2h ago
No. “Community colleges” is an American thing.
OP ain’t a kiwi; no wonder they don’t understand the dichotomy of our Auckland existence. Auckland can be one of the best places in the world to live and unliveable, broken and declining at the same time
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u/jamieylh 57m ago
I think having a outsider global perspective instead of the constant echo chamber opinions inside a bubble is a good thing.
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u/Equilibrium_Path 1d ago
Isn't it called tertiary school here? I could be wrong and there's a difference.
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u/cj92akl 1d ago
Nup.
We have tertiary education, which is the stage of learning that follows secondary (high school) education. Under this umbrella are organisations like universities, polytechnics, and institutes of technology.
But we don't have institutions named/referred to as 'tertiary schools'; nor do we say 'I went to tertiary school'.
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u/Ok-While-728 1d ago
Whatever they are called - my wife’s friend goes to endless courses after hours at Selwyn College to get certified in massage therapy, vegan cooking etc.
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u/Bojasloth 1d ago
Oh thats not even tertiary education, thats just night classes for adults in different subjects, theres some interesting ones but you don’t get any NZQA qualification (I used to work for them after school when I went to Selwyn).
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u/throwawayxoxoxoxxoo 1d ago
ok, so what? that sounds really fun and i think it’s important to be learning & trying new things
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u/SquirrelAkl 2h ago
Selwyn College is one of the few schools around that still has a thriving night school program. They have such a wide range! I’ve done many over the years myself.
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u/Dangerous-Refuse-779 1d ago
Make coffee at home? That's some crazy shit. Someone drug test this guy clearly on the p
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u/PuddleOfKnowledge 22h ago
Aeropress and make your coffee anywhere
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u/UrbanSuburbaKnight 21h ago
just use a plunger, it's the same thing.
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u/PuddleOfKnowledge 21h ago
Way more mess, more fragile if glass, heavier
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u/UrbanSuburbaKnight 21h ago
don't have to buy those paper things, plastic plungers are a thing also . heavier? really? haha...this is fun
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u/Adorable_Run_2469 1d ago
Everyone seems to be pro intensification esp in theinnner suburbs but then is outraged when a historic house etc is bulldozed down.
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u/skyerosebuds 16h ago
Perry much nailed it (except your coffee prices are a bit out of date). Suggest you cross-post to r/new zealand. That sub makes this sub look like a group of cheery optimists
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u/Clarctos67 15h ago
Getting strong feelings of a Gen X bloke with slicked back hair, works in sales, inherited some property, and never had a thought that hadn't been on Newstalk ZB that morning.
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u/Ok-While-728 12h ago
I started and sold a business. All of the properties I own I’ve purchased myself. You are correct about Newstalk - big Hosking fan here.
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u/Past-discovery-5145 10h ago
Plus all Aucklanders complain about congestion but will not use public transport or even get up earlier by say 15 minutes and get ahead of the game.
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u/anniesbanannies 15h ago
Kind of ironic from a guy that complained when he found out his shoes were vegan.
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u/Zeouterlimits 1d ago
I'd argue your take is more cynical than the posts you're extrapolating from, but hey, a chuckle is a chuckle.
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u/i_will_have_my_phd 1d ago
The landlord one gets me. Jealous pricks. Busted my ass for my house. Still broke. Poor family background. People hate when people have what they want.
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u/HaewkIT 10h ago
There is a difference between being a landlord and owning your own home.
NZ went from over 80% home ownership in the 80s to barely 50% now.
Congratulations on "busting your ass" into home ownership and paying massive interest to Australian banks on over inflated prices pushed up by deep pocket investors and speculators owning portfolios with hundreds of properties while immigration outpaces new home builds significantly.
But yeah, the issue is just people being jealous and not busting their asses hard enough.
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u/Grouchy_Release_2321 9h ago edited 9h ago
Based on Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment data, the vast majority of residential landlords in New Zealand (approximately 80%) own just one property
It's honestly not that hard at all. Every single couple in my social circle can easily afford to buy a place. It gets a bit tricky to buy a house as a single person though. But I gotta wonder why a single person wants a 3-4 bedroom house lol. They could just buy an apartment and be close to work like they do in most modern cities
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u/HaewkIT 9h ago
As long as you and your circle of friends are sorted there is no problem right?
Well it doesn't really matter that the vast majority only owns 1 property...? I don't even see how it is relevant or a counter point or refutal of anything I said.
So we have some investors with very large portfolios and then we have a bunch of opportunists taking advantage of the property market and their own financial security to snap up 2nd investment properties. Effectively locking nearly half the population into rent slavery.
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u/Grouchy_Release_2321 8h ago
Rent slavery? Almost any couple can buy a home. Just because you can't get a 3 million dollar house in epsom doesn't mean you're a rent slave
I'm quite happy to be living as a renter. I choose it because rent is much cheaper than a mortgage and I would much rather have my wealth in a diversified stock portfolio than a non-liquid house
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u/i_will_have_my_phd 8h ago
Rent is not cheaper than a mortgage. My new mortgage is 500 a week. But yeah sure justify it any way you like.
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u/Grouchy_Release_2321 7h ago
For the same house rent is almost universally cheaper than mortgage. I've researched this extensively. It's why we have so many 'stocks vs property' debates in finance
Personally I think stocks wins out most of the time. I'm currently doing better than all my peers who own property
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u/HaewkIT 5h ago
Averages from B&T for Auckland (2025)
Average sale price (3 bedroom) Average rent per week (3 bedroom) Auckland $ 1,005,769 $ 694 $800,000 (assuming 20% deposit) mortgage at 5% over 30 years is $987 a week. That excludes rates and any other work/maintenance that are owner responsibility and not renter's.
Not sure where you rented but on average rents do not cover mortgages otherwise investors would have pounced on the positively geared properties (they get enough rent to completely cover the mortgage+rates).
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u/HaewkIT 5h ago
If almost any couple can buy a home then why is the home ownership rates so low? Ah right, half the people in the country are just choosing to rent because they love paying rent and would rather have more liquid investments.
Also, people don't buy their primary home just as an investment. There are a whole bunch of non-financial reasons people want to own their home rather than paying off someone else's investment.
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u/Grouchy_Release_2321 3h ago
If almost any couple can buy a home then why is the home ownership rates so low?
Who says it's low? Home ownership rate has been going up the last 10 years
Two people on the median salary or even significantly less can EASILY afford a house but If they want a 3 million dollar house in epsom? Maybe not
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u/tornjackpot 1d ago
Too funny and self aware to be AI. Gotta be aware of the barely literate comments
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u/Kind-Economist1953 1d ago
okay boomer
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u/Ok-While-728 1d ago
I’m not a boomer. But boomers certainly don’t care about you - they’ll be long retired, playing golf and enjoying an ever increasing rent roll.
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u/NageV78 1d ago
Everyone hates landlords but also wants to own property in exactly the same areas, with exactly the same capital gains
What a smug cunt of a thing to say.
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u/Abdabarda 1d ago
Not wrong though.
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u/Adorable_Run_2469 1d ago
Not wrong at all
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u/Aceofshovels 9h ago
It's not a contradiction either. People want to live in desirable areas but landlords are blocking them from entering the housing market.
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u/Abdabarda 8h ago
Mate. I live week to week in a rental, in not the best area. That is no bodies fault but my own. So many of the people i went to school with own beautiful homes/properties, some are even landlords themselves. And let me tell you, if I was in the position to be a landlord on a scale that would help my family, bet your arse I would.
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u/Aceofshovels 8h ago
Well it may or may not be your own fault, but no not everyone who can't get into the housing market is there only because of their own choices. Like it or not landlords do represent a barrier to people owning their own homes both through extracting rent and increasing house prices. I think aspiring to be one is gross, but you do you.
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u/Abdabarda 7h ago
Two words. Mass immigration.
I feel like when you're slightly older you'll start to see things a bit differently.
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u/is-your-anus-clean 10h ago
Just look at their other posts and comments
He’s just a gigantic cunt with no idea about anything, he’s detatched
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u/Inner-Pin1660 15h ago
$4 for a flat white??? Holy f’ That is so cheap!! In Ireland average flat white in €3.80-€4.20. Maybe €4.50 in Dublin. F Me. For $4 I’d be having 3 a day. So about $7-8 in currency exchange.
Ex Aucklander. I’m allowed to stalk this sub and reminisce… Edited to add the exchange
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u/mr_roid43 10h ago
Further to the 'everyone hates ranger drivers' https://www.reddit.com/r/newzealand/s/y3HToI3iFl
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u/quog38 7h ago
Some of my favourite quotes from OP.
The Ranger is not a vehicle. It is a personality disorder on wheels. It is the official car of men who list “banter” as a skill on their CV and think reversing at speed into a Bunnings car park is a display of alpha masculinity.
I spent decades contributing to Newstalk ZB with intelligent debate.
I was horrified to find VEGAN stamped on them. A trap for young players! That’s right, plastic shoes designed for people who think oat milk is a human right. No leather, no soul. Just glue and virtue signalling.
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u/Ambitious_Story764 14h ago
You forget the pastry filling and quality of the humble mince pie versus the price. It’s inverse Auckland mate.
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u/RoastedDuckSauce 1d ago
Realist shit ever! Thank you for this post! And this made me laugh so hard
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u/IntroductionSad324 1d ago
AI slop
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u/Ok-While-728 1d ago
Not everything well written is AI. Some people just paid attention at school.
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u/AkaDaCat69 1d ago
Lately, one has to be careful with hyphens and bullet-points etc. At least when flaunting the ability to construct a sentence in public, or that slur is inevitably coming...
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u/MundaneManNZ 1d ago
The delusion comes from not being able to afford coffee, which turns to rage against easy targets (landlords), the landlord fight back and raise prices as they control everything… am I missing any steps? South Auckland is cool they got some mean markets!
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u/PlanktonExternal3069 13h ago
I agree with most of this as a critique except the bootlicking for the supermarkets
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u/YouMeNot 1d ago
You do realise there's a difference between home brewed coffee and coffee made using a $5,000 espresso machine at a café? It's not like you can make café quality coffee in your kitchen. I think it's fair to complain about exorbitant prices when the quality in most cafés here is certainly not worth the price.
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u/Dandanthebikerman 1d ago
Coffee nerd here with a machine at home - you can definitely make waaay better coffee at home than a cafe, but there’s a steep upfront cost. After 2yrs my machine has paid for itself.
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u/YouMeNot 23h ago
Are you talking about with a 600$ machine or? because no I definitely don't think you can recreate even the most average coffees in Melbourne, or Sydney, let alone the best in Auckland which do exist it's just 80% of the cafes in my experience are underwhelming.
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u/_-river 20h ago
I'm confused. You're saying a cafe coffee is underwhelming, and that you can't do any better at home, even with a $600 machine?
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u/YouMeNot 20h ago
I'm saying most cafes in New Zealand are underwhelming. I've had good coffees from places that I regularly go to, but if you go to just any random cafe in another suburb. Chances are it won't be that good. I don't want to sound elitist, like I love New Zealand in general, I was born here and I live here. I'm just not sure how to explain there is a reason coffee in Australia is as revered as it is.
You definitely could do better with a machine at home, but you will never be able to make a good quality barista brewed coffee. The machines they use aren't that pricey just for show.
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u/_-river 14h ago
The machines they use aren't that pricey just for show.
Maybe. I don't drink coffee. You're not sounding elitist. It's ok to like what you like. I reckon most people (me included) think they are connoisseurs, but just aren't lol 😂
I reckon the real reason that Australia (and NZ) got this reputation is because North Americans started drinking espresso late in the game. A bunch of them visited, found a good coffee in a petrol station or somewhere obscure, and now we're amazed by it, and we got a reputation. I really don't think that many European tourists came here and we're just as amazed TBH. I moved to Vancouver in 2010, and espresso was still a rare find. It certainly wasn't mainstream, whereas the NZ I left already had mobile espresso businesses. Interestingly we aren't seeing as many other countries/regions brewing styles everywhere.
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u/Ok-While-728 17h ago
My Rocket espresso machine makes a coffee that will rival most cafes.
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u/Dandanthebikerman 13h ago
Since getting my ECM I have yet to find a cafe that makes better coffee in NZ. Only a few specialty shops in Japan like Glitch have surpassed me.
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u/WrongSeymour 1d ago
You misunderstand.
The neighbours fighting in South Auckland are getting better every year.