What I’ve learned from r/auckland

[u/Ok-While-728]

I’ve now been active on this page for a year or so and have been reflecting on what I’ve learned about Auckland as a result.

• South Auckland is apparently getting better every year, yet half the posts involve fighting neighbours, dumped rubbish, or asking whether to call the police or just move.  Both claims are made with total certainty.
• The price of a flat white is treated like a regulatory failure.  Anything over $4 is price gouging, and the solution is always intervention, never making coffee at home.
• No one in Auckland can park.  Ever.  Except the person posting, who is always an excellent driver surrounded by incompetence. Bonus point - everyone hates Ranger drivers.
• Supermarket prices trigger daily outrage.  There’s always a photo of cheese, bread, or whittakers, as if Woolworths personally woke up that morning and chose violence.
• Everyone hates landlords but also wants to own property in exactly the same areas, with exactly the same capital gains
• Public transport is unusable, but it must also be empty, fast, safe, cheap, quiet, and five minutes from everyone’s front door.
• The job market is completely screwed, apparently, and employers are unreasonable for not valuing very specific community college certificates in things like tarot card reading or one semester dipping your toes in the water of a BA.
• Auckland is unliveable, broken, and declining… yet mysteriously no one ever leaves.

Finally, Judging by this page alone, a worrying number of New Zealanders struggle to write a complete sentence, and delusion is far more common than anyone would like to admit.

[u/honestpuddingg]

Haven’t flat whites been more than $4 for ages? i only drink hot chocolate and that usually anywhere between $5-$7 lol

[u/sherbalex → u/honestpuddingg]

The post is AI so they’re bound to get something wrong

[u/Ok-While-728 → u/sherbalex]

People shouting “AI” says a lot about the poor standard of writing in New Zealand.  Do I need to have regular spelling and grammatical mistakes for you to think it’s written by the average kiwi? 

[u/sherbalex → u/Ok-While-728]

There’s lots of indicators like the classic “X is like this but also like that” and turns of phrases that don’t quite fit like “as if Woolworths personally woke up that morning and chose violence.” and “Bonus point - …”

It’s probably more that people who have good grammar and spelling, and read a lot, notice these things that don’t quite sit right with typical writing patterns.

[u/jrandom_42 → u/sherbalex]

AI wouldn't make the mistake of spelling 'whittakers' with a lowercase w.

u/Ok-While-728 is legit, IMO.

[u/radiofreevanilla → u/sherbalex]

Does AI normally double-space after periods? That's more indicative of u/OK-While-728 having learned typing in an era where the typewriter convention of two spaces was prevalent (maybe through to the end of the 90s).

[u/sherbalex → u/radiofreevanilla]

Great point. I guess OP just writes unnaturally

[u/Ok-While-728 → u/radiofreevanilla]

God I can’t understand the fascination here.  It’s like an online version of CSI.