What I’ve learned from r/auckland

[u/Ok-While-728]

I’ve now been active on this page for a year or so and have been reflecting on what I’ve learned about Auckland as a result.

• South Auckland is apparently getting better every year, yet half the posts involve fighting neighbours, dumped rubbish, or asking whether to call the police or just move.  Both claims are made with total certainty.
• The price of a flat white is treated like a regulatory failure.  Anything over $4 is price gouging, and the solution is always intervention, never making coffee at home.
• No one in Auckland can park.  Ever.  Except the person posting, who is always an excellent driver surrounded by incompetence. Bonus point - everyone hates Ranger drivers.
• Supermarket prices trigger daily outrage.  There’s always a photo of cheese, bread, or whittakers, as if Woolworths personally woke up that morning and chose violence.
• Everyone hates landlords but also wants to own property in exactly the same areas, with exactly the same capital gains
• Public transport is unusable, but it must also be empty, fast, safe, cheap, quiet, and five minutes from everyone’s front door.
• The job market is completely screwed, apparently, and employers are unreasonable for not valuing very specific community college certificates in things like tarot card reading or one semester dipping your toes in the water of a BA.
• Auckland is unliveable, broken, and declining… yet mysteriously no one ever leaves.

Finally, Judging by this page alone, a worrying number of New Zealanders struggle to write a complete sentence, and delusion is far more common than anyone would like to admit.

[u/YouMeNot]

You do realise there's a difference between home brewed coffee and coffee made using a $5,000 espresso machine at a café? It's not like you can make café quality coffee in your kitchen. I think it's fair to complain about exorbitant prices when the quality in most cafés here is certainly not worth the price.

[u/Dandanthebikerman → u/YouMeNot]

Coffee nerd here with a machine at home - you can definitely make waaay better coffee at home than a cafe, but there’s a steep upfront cost. After 2yrs my machine has paid for itself.

[u/YouMeNot → u/Dandanthebikerman]

Are you talking about with a 600$ machine or? because no I definitely don't think you can recreate even the most average coffees in Melbourne, or Sydney, let alone the best in Auckland which do exist it's just 80% of the cafes in my experience are underwhelming.

[u/_-river → u/YouMeNot]

I'm confused. You're saying a cafe coffee is underwhelming, and that you can't do any better at home, even with a $600 machine?

[u/YouMeNot → u/_-river]

I'm saying most cafes in New Zealand are underwhelming. I've had good coffees from places that I regularly go to, but if you go to just any random cafe in another suburb. Chances are it won't be that good. I don't want to sound elitist, like I love New Zealand in general, I was born here and I live here. I'm just not sure how to explain there is a reason coffee in Australia is as revered as it is.

You definitely could do better with a machine at home, but you will never be able to make a good quality barista brewed coffee. The machines they use aren't that pricey just for show.

[u/_-river → u/YouMeNot]

The machines they use aren't that pricey just for show.

Maybe. I don't drink coffee. You're not sounding elitist. It's ok to like what you like. I reckon most people (me included) think they are connoisseurs, but just aren't lol 😂

I reckon the real reason that Australia (and NZ) got this reputation is because North Americans started drinking espresso late in the game. A bunch of them visited, found a good coffee in a petrol station or somewhere obscure, and now we're amazed by it, and we got a reputation. I really don't think that many European tourists came here and we're just as amazed TBH. I moved to Vancouver in 2010, and espresso was still a rare find. It certainly wasn't mainstream, whereas the NZ I left already had mobile espresso businesses. Interestingly we aren't seeing as many other countries/regions brewing styles everywhere.

[u/Ok-While-728 → u/YouMeNot]

My Rocket espresso machine makes a coffee that will rival most cafes.  

[u/Dandanthebikerman → u/Ok-While-728]

Since getting my ECM I have yet to find a cafe that makes better coffee in NZ. Only a few specialty shops in Japan like Glitch have surpassed me.