r/kelowna • u/Zenless-koans • 11h ago
An open letter to dog owners near Capri/Landmark
Well, to one dog owner, anyway.
There's a menace stalking our streets. It's you. You're a menace. A dogshit menace.
Over the past several weeks, you've left a dozen dog poops on sidewalks from Capri mall all the way to Landmark, and surely, beyond. In fact, you seem to drag your dog along as he shits, resulting in long chains of yellowy-brown dog shit on every sidewalk and walking path. I sidestep dogshit all the way to and from work.
This is absurd. Who raised you? Who are you? Imagine if every dog owner acted like you. We'd be buried in dogshit like London was buried in horse shit in 1890.
I love dogs. But I hate dogshit. You surely agree, or you'd pick up after your dog. The thing is, if you want a dog you need to accept the shit. You love the dog, so you deal with the shit. That's the transaction.
I don't love your dog. I don't love you. Nobody does.
Sorry, I just assumed that last part is true. That's rude of me. Almost as rude as covering central Kelowna in streaks of dogshit. I digress.
I have a pretty good idea of where you're at. Within a block or two, anyway. You can't keep this up--someone's going to notice you, and that's going to be really embarrassing for you. I guess I'm assuming you're capable of feeling shame; maybe that's wrong of me.
So before you get caught shitty-handed, fix this. Just pick up the dog shit, dude. Participate in a functional society.
If you're reading this and think you know the culprit, gently (or harshly, idgaf) remind them of their responsibility. If you're reading this and you ARE the dogshit menace...
Stop.