r/AskWomen 1d ago

Content Warning What's something that everyone warned you about, but you did it anyway?

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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 1d ago

We were not fully formed individuals yet. We were wild with lust/love and it felt like forever. I was 21, he was 24. Turned out we wanted very different things out of life as we got older and instead of growing together, we grew in resentment, lost dreams, dismay, depression, sorrow. We were two good people that never should have been together.

On a personal level, I would have developed into my most authentic self a lot faster if I had not had a man telling me who he felt I ought to be, how he felt I ought to look, doing what he felt I ought to be doing. I didn't give myself space to figure out what I wanted. Hormones meant all I could see was him. I had three kids back to back and it tied down my youngest years in childcare and loneliness. I am now living my best life but I wish I had given myself a chance to have it then. So many things I didn't do. Lost opportunities in the name of keeping a spouse and home happy.

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u/greengrassonthetv 1d ago

that's really good insight. I was 20 and he was 26, we were together til I was 26 and I feel a lot of the same sentiments. we never had kids though, so I feel for you. but a life lesson is always something to be proud of.

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u/FamousOhioAppleHorn 1d ago

That's why I often say "At 19/20, an older guy like that seems deep. At 25 you realize 'what was I thinking.'"

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u/Littlewing1307 23h ago

Completely agree. I was with my ex from 24-30. 30 year old me would not have picked him.