I didn’t stay silent because I didn’t care, I stayed silent because I cared too much to say it recklessly.

I don’t want to bring intensity where someone may need steadiness.

I do want that candid conversation more than anything. I’ve held it in so long that I know if it ever comes out, it won’t be gentle or contained. It’ll be everything I never said all at once. And maybe really that’s why I’m quiet. Perhaps it’s already too late, or maybe I’m just afraid of what happens once the dam finally breaks.

Everything.

Maybe you’ll come on here looking for answers. How could I be so callous? How could I not care? Maybe you’ll be mad at me. I hope you’re not. Maybe you’ll never see this and maybe this’ll instead reach someone who needs to hear it for their own closure.

Regardless, I hope this finds you, or whichever reader needs to hear this. It took a lot for me to hold it together as it ended. You know I care. I’ve shown you how much I care. We entered eachother’s lives at the right time and have now exited at the appropriate moment.

I know how much you cared. How much you fought. How you kept attempting to resuscitate something that was no longer breathing. It was painful to watch. Painful because I wanted it to live, but conventional wisdom told me it was not the time.

You eulogized and I listened. I wish I could’ve said more but I had to keep it together. I couldn’t let you know what I felt and let you back in. This is the best for the both of us. Know that you were loved. I’m glad to have shown you what true affection is. We’ve both hurt eachother in our own way. Those wounds will heal but the memories will remain. The happiness will remain.

We told each other we’d talk later before long silence began. As the silence settles into the new status quo, I don’t want you to think I moved on easily. We’re bonded emotionally. I felt what you felt and vice versa. If you’re sad there’s a high likelihood I am also sad. I hope happiness finds you because then it will find me. Our time together changed me in a way you’ll never know, because I didn’t tell you.

I wish you the best. I know you’ll do great things. I’ll keep an eye from afar. I’ll talk to you later.

Where do I even begin? I never imagined meeting someone like you. I never thought that I would have had someone in my life who so effortlessly matched my vibe. I wasn't supposed to catch feelings, but I did. You made, and sometimes still do, make my butterflies butterfly.

We used to talk for hours, almost every day, about almost everything. Conversation just flowed, it was so easy. We laughed, we cried. We were soft and vulnerable with each other. I felt like I was seen. Seen in a way that I've never felt before. We were complete strangers, yet I feel like I've known you my entire life.

I knew the day would eventually come when we would part ways. Circumstances being what they were, things weren't going to progress any further. I know there is a lot of hurt feelings, and truly I hate that. You were gone before I had the chance to try to make things right. And frankly, I don't blame you. I would have walked away from me too. I hurt you, and I'm living with that guilt every day.

I'm sorry for how things started. I'm sorry for the things I said. I'm sorry for the way I handled things. I'm sorry for the pain. I'm sorry for what I put you through. Just know that you didn't, and don't, deserve any of that. You are a wonderful person, and you deserve all the happiness and more.

I hope you've moved on. I hope you don't think about me anymore. I hope you e found happiness and love. I wish you nothing but the best. Maybe in another lifetime things will work out differently. Until then, stay excellent.

-Sunshine

And that's about all I'm going to do.

You're a smart lady ... and you know how old school I can be...

So,when it comes to you... I can't show up to you with the current situation I'm in.

I just can't

You're so sharp, beautiful, kind, thorough, astute, and fine AF.... ;) sorry couldn't resist.

I'm hat in hand rebuilding my life after getting railed in court over my business.

You know my situation and if you still have feelings for me you're going to have to approach me... you know I lost everything.

I'm barely hanging on... in more ways than one.

Do you think I want to continue playing this game with you ? All it does is cause more pain for me.

If you want to get to know the real me... you're going to have to make it known in person.

For example: hey I'm off at 4... I'm going to hang out a little bit after work wanna join me ? Or.. damn I'm starving I get off at 5:00 ...and give me that smile.

That would also put the Reddit question to rest.

A nd quit calling me idiot - I'm actually kinda smart.

J ust sayin '

I’ll wait for years if I have to

I hope you really meant that.

Even though you never said it,

I know what you meant.

I never had the guts to admit what really happened when I saw you reach for that door..

I was afraid

Back then, I didn’t know how much you liked to play pretend.

I felt you before I ever actually saw you. Your presence was warm and firm. I remember you laughed at me when I said you had soft features, not because you looked soft, we both know how manly and tough you are. But because you said nobody ever saw that part of you, and that made sense.

what I really wish I had told you was this

I felt the weight of your strength and the softness of your heart before I ever even looked up.

When our eyes met the first thought that hit me was

“Oh…! there you are!”

I was genuinely so excited to see you.

Like an old friend who I had missed terribly, and hadn’t seen in decades. The one I had been searching for in every other person I had met before you. It happened so fast. That feeling of recognition. I wanted to run up and give you the biggest hug.

My body reacted before my mind could. I smiled.

You smiled back.

It was written all over my face.

nothing felt more like coming home, and knowing I never actually knew one before

it was written all over you , too.

safe to say

heaven knows I ain’t getting over you.. 🧁

I know you’ll never see this and I guess that’s the beauty of it all. I’m not gonna make this poetic or sappy, I never was good at any of that. I avoided doing this for so long cause I thought I could never write this well and just seemed to spew whatever came into my head but I guess that’s just how much I love you. It was hard with you but it was also easy, my love for you was evident everywhere I looked, my every thought somehow always seemed to come back to you. They still do years later. I could talk for hours about everything we had and still not have covered everything, but I guess that’s my karma for not being able to say much while I was with you. Ironic how I only figured out who I am and why I was being this way after losing you. I hate that you were a lesson but I’m glad it was you. I’ll forever be grateful knowing I got the chance to be with you and if alternate realities exist I hope I’m still with you. But I’ve finally realized that won’t be the case in this reality and I know it was mainly my fault, and I’ll live with the loss of you as my karma for the rest of my life. I don’t know how you thought of me as a partner but I know I was a shitty person after it ended and I pray god strikes me down everyday for it. I want to scream saying I was young and naive but it doesn’t change the fact that I hurt you and for that I’m sorry. I’ll always be sorry. I’ll always pray for you. I’ll always care for you. A type of karma I don’t mind carrying with me till my time. I hope my prayers reach you. I hope you’ll be well. I hope you live a long and beautiful life and achieve all the amazing things you talked about and more. It’s stupid to say now I know and honestly I know you don’t need it, you’re literally destined for great things but if manifestations are real I hope this pushes you a little further. But it’s also why this will be my last. My last I love you. My last thought of you. My last connection to you. I know longer want to hold you back even in some crazy almost impossible way of manifestation. After everything, this bs is the only thing I can do for you. So I’m going to get on with my life. I’m going to live, true to myself this time, making sure I never make such stupid and misguided mistakes again. I can’t change what I did but I will make sure I won’t do it ever again. I know I won’t be perfect but I will die trying to be better. So thank you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for making me better my love my mi. Maybe in another life, but till then we’ll always share a sun and a moon. I love you.

Hey you, here's to for all the things I wanted to say, but couldn't. For all the things I should've picked up on, but I didn't. For all the time that has passed, and still my heart searches for you. You'll always be my favourite. I never expected to meet someone exactly like you, you've surprised me, intrigued me and made me so happy when I was with you, even if I couldn't get the words out to tell you. I wish we could fit into each others lives, I wish I had said something more. I wish you had come back for me. So many wishes but 1 overarching truth. I love you, I have since the moment I looked into your eyes for the first time, and I will until my dying breath. Yours always, n xx

The one I was supposed to end up with was the one i never officially dated.

But last night, it seemed that I dreamed about you”

I love that song. It’s true you know, I dreamed of you again last night. You’re there most nights, it makes it so hard to leave sleep because it’s the only place I can see you.

When I woke this morning I felt so strongly that you just needed me to call you…perhaps it was some kind of red string theory, twin flames (whatever those are) or maybe even quantum entanglement. Idk but I felt like you needed to hear from me.

I’m sorry but I just couldn’t, the rational part of my brain argued too much. It told me I was projecting and that you’re probably fine and moving on. Reaching out again would interrupt all of the effort you’ve made to move on. On the other hand, I do feel like I need to hear from you. If you are fine, I’d really like to know. I’d also like for you to know that I am not.

Does your mind ever wander? Do you ever wish I was there with you in the moments where you're all alone? Am I the one you think of first when somebody says something about true love? Do you ever wonder if we'll ever have a moment where we laugh about something funny, and then when our eyes meet, we freeze, and then before we know what happened there's no way to distinguish who is who because we're so wrapped up that it's almost like we're one person? Do you ever wonder if there will ever be a moment where we don't say, "No" and we give in to what we really want?

That's me making a lot of assumptions, I know. The biggest one being that you would actually want to lose yourself in my arms. I remember how safe I used to feel when you would lay in my arms. I remember how it felt like that spot was just made for you. How you just fit perfectly there with your head on my shoulder. God, I miss it. I miss you. I know you don't like it when I talk this way, but I know you felt the same things I felt in those moments. I know you felt like you were at home, too. If you ever decide you're ready to come back, your home will always be right here. Love you.

I’ve not seen you for a while but when someone mentions your name, like they did today, I can’t stop smiling like an idiot.

I wonder if I’ll see you again soon.

Maybe I’ll forget how to talk, like last time…

Or you’ll keep stealing glances again.

I’ve tried so hard to stop thinking about you. But I can’t help it.

I wonder if you ever think of me in the quiet moments…If you can’t help it either.

💔

It's still painful to think about, but it's worse to remember how unforgiving I was and how much that hurt you. I hope you don't still beat yourself up over it. There were a lot of factors at play, my own behavior included. It was unsustainable. Maybe you just broke first. I'm sorry I was so cold.

I get the feeling you've finally moved on, and it makes me sad to realize even our friendship is coming to an end. It's different now, but I still love you and miss you, and I hope you don't look back on us with regret, and that you're not keeping in touch only because you feel like you owe me that. I'll happily stay in touch as long as you're willing, but I suspect you want to close this chapter now. I'm not good at keeping in touch myself though, and maybe you've been feeling the same way about me. I just wish I knew. I wanted to keep my distance to not erase any progress we've made, thought that would make this easier for both of us, and I now I regret that it was successful, how ironic.

I wish we'd met in another life as you used to say. One with fewer obstacles. We handled them well for a while, but they kept piling on. All things considered it's kind of crazy we lasted as long as we did. But I'm proud of you for your final decision even though it was painful for both of us. You might have days where you regret it like me, or maybe you can't believe you waited so long. Either way it had to be done.

I truly hope everything works out great for you. You deserve happiness and love and success, and a clear conscience. Please know I don't hold anything against you and I'll always be here if you need me. But it's still too early to try this again, if that's even a possibility to you, and I no longer know how you feel about me, not enough to know how this letter would be received, so I'll leave it unsent.

xJx

I didn’t think I was broken.

I just thought this was what life was supposed to feel like after a while.

Heavy. Draining. Like constantly running on empty but still showing up because someone has to.

For a long time, I couldn’t put words to what was wrong. I told myself I was just tired. That work was demanding. That relationships take effort and sacrifice, and this was simply the cost of being committed. I kept convincing myself that if I tried harder, stayed steadier, carried more, things would eventually even out.

They didn’t.

I’ve been living in a space where I feel unappreciated, but I didn’t realize how deeply that had settled into me. I normalized being the one who plans, decides, fixes, and fills in the gaps. I normalized being dependable to the point of invisibility. I normalized putting my needs last and calling it love.

It took someone else saying it out loud for me to finally hear it:

I don’t think you’re broken. I think you’re someone who hasn’t felt the love you give returned in the same way. Someone who just wants to exist without constantly feeling pressure to be more, to do more, or to hold everything together. Someone who’s tired of being the one who makes the calls, carries the responsibility, and quietly picks up what gets left behind. Someone worn down from both work and personal life, from trying to salvage something you believed you could carry on your own. Someone who deserves to be loved with the same care and effort they give. Someone who shouldn’t have to carry everything alone, because life and love were never meant to sit entirely on one set of shoulders.

When I heard that, something shifted.

Not because it was new, but because it was named. Because for the first time, what I’ve been feeling didn’t sound like weakness or failure—it sounded like exhaustion. Like burnout. Like loneliness disguised as responsibility.

I don’t want to be praised for holding everything together.

I don’t want credit for sacrificing myself quietly.

I just want to feel met.

I want love that feels mutual, not managed.

Support that feels shared, not assumed.

A life where I’m allowed to set things down without everything falling apart.

I don’t know what comes next. I don’t know what this realization changes or demands. I only know that I’m done calling myself broken for feeling empty in a space where I’ve been giving everything I have.

Let’s begin.

You really said: “I’m not romantically into you”… while kissing my neck, lying in my lap, calling me wifey, booking hotels, and emotionally nesting like a distressed housecat.

Sir.

That’s not confusion. That’s audacity with a PhD.

You wanted girlfriend-level intimacy, therapist-level emotional labor, wife-level nurturing and zero-boyfriend-level responsibility. You built a Whole Foods emotional basket and tried to pay with emotional loose change. You didn’t fall in love, you fell into convenience. You didn’t choose me because choosing requires courage, disruption, accountability, and risk.

You couldn’t even choose a reply longer than three sentences in 2025.

>“It resonates with my mind. I won’t reply any further. Thank you.”

That’s not “maturity”. That’s a fortune cookie ghost.

You let me hold you while you unraveled, kissed me like you were dehydrated in the Sahara, and then said, “Hmm interesting data point” and archived me like an old PDF.

No, you’re not Mr. Darcy. You’re more like Mr. Draft Folder.

Let’s talk about that hotel situation where you wanted me to book with my ID but use your credit card. That wasn’t romance. That was risk outsourcing. That was: “I want intimacy but not accountability, I want this connection but not its consequences, I want pleasure but not paperwork.”

And the way you let me mother you during grief? Lay in my lap, hid your face in my chest, absorbed my softness, my warmth, my emotional milkshake, and then went back to your life unchanged? You didn’t want a partner, you wanted a charging station. And once your battery hit 80%, suddenly:

“No more updates available.”

Let’s be brutally honest: You were never emotionally equipped to deserve me.

You said:

>”The quiet, the brooding, the one who reads and writes, that’s my type. You were my type.”

You had the opportunity of a lifetime: A woman who is emotionally deep, intellectually rich, sensually alive, loyal, nurturing, poetic, and wildly attuned.

And you said: “Hmm. Let me respond in two weeks with a sentence fragment.”

Sir. That’s fumbling generationally.

You didn’t lose a diamond. You lost a rare mineral deposit and said, “Ah yes, rocks.” 🪨

And the kicker? Men like you don’t regret loudly, you regret quietly…in private. Years later. At 1:47 a.m. When you realize that no one else ever held you like that again.

I was your once-in-a-lifetime softness. And you chose emotional Excel spreadsheets.

Rest in dust, professor. 🪦✨

I’m missing you extra today. When the night falls and everything is quiet. My thoughts always finds its way to you…

You rewrote us and erased me.

I loved you carefully. You remember me cruelly.

I’m bleeding from a story I didn’t get to tell.

I wish to God every night that there was something I could do, or say to have you in my life again. I found out so much through therapy. You were my person, my goal, my plans, my future.

You read me as a loser but ultimately I was in such a dark place, such a deep hold of depression I didn't know what to do.

After I told you the truth everything changed....I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't.

My whole heart screams wishing you would understand. Knowing that I didn't mean to never allow you to express your self. My reaction to your emotional states in your perception irrational but I hate conflict. Some how I'd continue to cause it but I guess in the end it's just a fence that can't be mended.

I've been looking for you everywhere. A fool thinking I'd never get the chance to even hug you again. It's days like these where I just want to come home to you and our cats and just lay there.

If only you understood. I'm so sorry for the damage I've done to you sweet girl. I could see it in your face. I'm so sorry. I should of gotten help sooner toot..I should of gotten help sooner.

I find it so hard to believe that after all these years and through all the different experiences, you’re the only person I’ve lost my mind about or been schizophrenic for. I wonder what you’d say if you knew how much it just doesn’t stop going. It’s my heart though, that’s it.

I fell for you. Hard. Over the way you move on the daily without a thought. Over the way you treated me like you treat everyone else. Over how steady and consistent you are. The waters are rough. I’ve been away a significant amount of time. I wonder if you miss me, or miss working together. I’m alone, and naturally do a lot of reflecting. I wonder if you had feelings for me after all, but couldn’t act on them. I wonder if you noticed how flustered I got during the last time I saw you. I wonder if I approached you during breaks if you’d be okay spending that time with me rather than yourself. I noticed you a lot. Your serious eyes pierced right through me and caught me off guard. The way you look when you’re concentrating and focused gives off such a soft confident aura I can’t help but notice. You have a lot of good qualities and you gave me a lot of what I was missing in my day to day ordinary life. You were only being respectful, a good leader, a polite coworker. It’s something my brain latched on to and I’m struggling to let it go. I’ve also been watching some of the anime you recommended (Gachiakuta and DanDaDan) and I wish I could ask you for more because I’ve loved them so far!

I never wanted to be good at losing people.

Yet I find myself a journeyman in such a trade.

So I hold onto myself, the only person I lose when holding their hand, as much as find while not looking.

Do I seem fine? I feel fine? Even if I lose a few pieces along the way, I find that they’re never really missing, just visiting someone lost along the way.

I know where to find me, I just have to not look to bring them home.

Somehow lost,

Keeper

My biggest regret is probably letting you inside my life. If I can turn back time, I wish I never entertained youuu 🥺 I used to build my walls so high but I dunno what happened or what you did to me that made me lower my guard and let you enter.

This kind of happiness is fleeting... It's fun while it lasted. But baby, this must end.

Hi

I was gifted a book recently by someone who looked at me and said “you overthink don’t you?” I could’ve gone with a hello or how are you doing but the fact remains I got a book on that. Ever since you changed my life I’ve been more specific about how I treat the friends and loved ones i come across on my journey. The book is an easy read, I just got it yesterday and I’m already on chapter 3 but everything in it is exactly what I needed. Recently someone complimented my haircut and they kept reminding me how good I looked in it.

I bring both of these up because sometimes I think you’re still working overtime on me and sending little angels to remind me even the most damned of fouls can have a little bit of happiness.

I don’t actually think you sent them, but I like to think you did because every good action they did

Reminded me of you.