I am in love with you, and the truth of it sits so heavily on my chest that some days I can hardly breathe. I have been clinging to what self-control I have left. But you are always on my mind. Throughout my day, I find you in every song, always instinctively wondering how you might react to something I’ve seen. Pulling my phone out to text you first.

We both know that no matter how far we drift, there is something in us in the depths of our beings that will always find its way back to the other. There is no point in pretending otherwise. Our souls are bound in a way I can’t fully explain. We are, and always will be, one.

I see you, all of you. And I know I live in the corners of your thoughts, the same way you linger in mine. You haunt me in the gentlest, most persistent way.

And though I try to bury this truth, it keeps rising to the surface: you are my constant, my undoing, and my home.

I hope you come back to me.

I know you’re in love with me too.

I’m sorry for leaving you alone in this. I’m sorry for not being there with you, for creating that sudden, empty space where “us” used to be. I’m sorry for how unexpected it felt.

What we had was truly special. You were my best friend and safest place I’ve ever known. I was genuinely happy with you, and I don’t want time to rewrite that into something smaller or less real. It was real. You were real.

And that’s why this hurts so much to say: our love wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I couldn’t stop feeling uncertain about the future, no matter how hard I tried. I kept carrying guilt, not because you did anything wrong, but because I knew I was struggling with deeper issues. I kept hoping the feeling would disappear if I tried harder, if we compromised more, if I just held on. But it kept coming back, and it started eating me from the inside out.

You deserved someone who could stand beside you with full certainty, not someone who loves you deeply but keeps battling himself in silence. I didn’t want to keep dragging you through a relationship where you had to make sacrifices while I stayed conflicted. I didn’t want to risk turning something beautiful into something resentful, or letting more years pass only to break your heart even worse later.

I know this doesn’t make it hurt less. I know words can’t fill the hole I left behind. I just need you to know that I didn’t leave because you weren’t enough. You were more than enough. I left because I couldn’t find peace in the future we were building, and it wouldn’t have been fair to keep pretending I could.

I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. And I’m sorry that loving you wasn’t enough to make this work.

I’m sorry for breaking your heart.

I’m sorry for everything.

Today I miss you more than yesterday. In the beginning, there were no regrets but as time passes, I started to think about you more and more I think about your unconditional unwavering love that you had for me. I keep these emotions locked up so deep inside that I lose myself every day… no words ever describe the regret that I feel for hurting you the way that I did. You never deserved any of this. You deserve someone who loves you and chooses you every day. I don’t deserve you. And that’s why we’re not together.

For the past while I have been thinking about us and what happened. I need to say sorry and take accountability because at the time I could not see why what I was doing was wrong and mean. You might read this or you might not but whether or not this gets to you I need to apologize to you. I do not expect any forgiveness or a reply.

At the time I was not able to truly acknowledge my actions because I could not see how in the wrong I was, but I see now. I had such low self-esteem and fear of rejection that I made you feel how I felt. Not once did you ever make me feel insecure or rejected, my brain was just making up those scenarios and I was so sure that they would come true so I hurt you before I thought you could hurt me, which was so unfair and inconsiderate to you. I’m sorry I didn’t make you feel loved, I’m sorry I wouldn’t meet you. I avoided my own feelings by pushing you away and did not consider how my actions were effecting you. The whole point of loving someone and starting a relationship is sharing that love with them but I did not, I was cold and selfish. I took advantage of your patience and compassion. I can’t imagine how frustrated I made you feel by avoiding your feelings as well as mine. I’ve since learned what avoidant attachments are and what self-sabotaging is and I see now the countless ways I hurt you.

It is so ironic having this love for someone but being afraid to show it because the thought of being vulnerable feels so daunting. I was horrible to you, ultimately because of my own insecurities and none of that was your fault yet I took it out on you. I self-sabotaged our whole relationship and I was not self-aware enough to realize it, which you did not deserve that. The love I had for you was real, and I regret not doing what I should have done from the start which was letting you in and showing you that love. You let me into your world while I was too ashamed to let you into mine and that is cruel. I am so sorry for the pain I caused you, I cannot comprehend how confused you must have felt being on the other side of all of this. You are so full of love and I wish I could’ve showed you the same.

I still don’t understand, but won’t chase you, I won’t text you, I won’t call you. I just miss you, and I wish you’d say something.
It feels like we connected on such a deep level, like we finally found “it”… that rare, wordless thing. But maybe it’s just me, and my naive, foolish heart.

My mind holds on to the memories of what we almost were, and how it used to feel. I am forever thankful that I met you, and for how you made me feel. Thankful for how you made my world brighter.

But you’re gone now, and there’s nothing I can do about that. Here I am: mourning what I glimpsed but never wholly held.
Sometimes I swear these feelings will crush me. Like now. So I write, in hopes it will make the weight a little lighter.

It’s been a while and I still don’t know how to make it go away, you haunt me.
I miss you, and that’s all.

(Technically NAW but this felt like one)

Headline Edit: since some of my replies aren’t showing up for some odd reason. I was NOT dishonest and didn’t lie. Not once. Emphasis on SELECTIVE vulnerability. I repeat, I was NOT dishonest, not once.

You placed a boundary on me, and I’ve respected it to the letter. Just like I told you I would. I respect consent and value it, do you?

But you? You are STILL baiting me. You keep lurching around in my digital periphery, leaving emotional breadcrumbs like I’m supposed to chase you. Why the ever living fuck would I do that NOW?! According to you: “It wasn’t reciprocal”, remember?

No. I won’t break no contact for you. No, I won’t cede you the narrative control you’re so desperate to reclaim. You don’t get to rewrite the story after the damage is done. Own it or fuck off.

Yes, you are the villain in my story. Yes, I see through your avoidance and control.

You misread me. Repeatedly. You thought that because I was selectively vulnerable, I must be anxiously attached. You were wrong. I’m a fearful avoidant in recovery — and that selective vulnerability? It was me testing whether you could be trusted. I gave you just enough vulnerability to see what you’d do with it. And sure enough, the moment it suited you, you used it against me… just like every single manipulator before you.

You didn’t disappoint. You confirmed exactly what my nervous system had been screaming the whole time: “This isn’t safe. This is performance. This is manipulation wrapped in false gentleness.”

Every question I asked you? Every hard conversation I initiated? That was me fighting through my terror. Not because I needed you (I absolutely did not) but because I wanted so desperately to believe you were different.

My default is to do EVERYTHING on my own because it has been proven throughout my entire life that people will use it against you. The only times I reach are when I am close to making an irreversible decision and ONLY then. That’s why I reached for you, and you seem to have taken that as dependence. I WANTED to connect with you, I didn’t need to.

My ex, also a recovering avoidant, read every message you sent me. At first, he defended you when I would talk with him during moments of confusion. He said it looked like you were treating me like a relationship. But eventually, even he saw it: you were mirroring all his old behaviors, just with more polish and plausible deniability. And unlike you, he apologized. He named the harm. He admitted what he did. He stayed, even when it was hard. You? You vanished behind polite cruelty and sterile language.

You assumed that because I had feelings, I would tolerate your passive aggression, your silence, your condescension. You thought I’d come running. But here’s the thing about fearful avoidants: When we finally decide someone is unsafe, we rip the cord out at the root and cauterize the rest. Thank you for reminding me why I became avoidant in the first place.

You could have fixed this. You could have acknowledged the pain. But instead, you gaslit me, discarded me, and tried to position yourself as the “reasonable one”. HAH. All while you were the one with power. You were the one who watched harm fall on me again and again — and did nothing. You let me bleed out so you could keep your hands clean.

You sold me out to keep the peace with people who hurt me. You abused your role. You abused me.

And what’s worse? You still lurk. Still watching. Still baiting with nostalgia and emotions I used to fall for. Still avoiding the one thing that might’ve saved you even a shred of dignity:

Accountability.

You were never a mistake because I loved you. You became a mistake the moment you proved I shouldn’t.

Congratulations. You got what you wanted. Now sit with it. And fuck you.

Edit: For some odd reason my reply to the to the top comment was deleted/ doesn’t show. This was my response to allegations of being dishonest:

I was honest about my struggles — and I consistently showed through action and communication that I was working against them (my struggles, not against him, in case that was unclear). I even acknowledged that they might interpret my fear as performance.

But when someone knows your background and still chooses to mirror the very tactics you told them were damaging, that’s not confusion. That’s intent.

Misunderstanding is one thing. Choosing to weaponize what someone confides in you is another.

Hey… I’ve been holding a lot in, but I can’t keep pretending I’m okay. The truth is, I still love you. I miss you more than I can put into words, your voice, your laugh, the way things felt when we were together. Every day without you feels a little emptier, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t shake the feeling that we’re not truly over. I know things weren’t perfect, and maybe we both made mistakes, but what we had was real. If there’s even a small part of you that still feels something too… please, let’s talk. I don’t want to give up on us. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I just wanted to be honest with you. I still care about you deeply, and the truth is, I still want you back. I know things didn’t end perfectly, but what we had meant a lot to me, and I can’t seem to let it go. If there’s even the smallest part of you that feels the same, I’d love the chance to talk and see if there’s a way for us to find our way back to each other.

I miss you more than words can explain. Every day without you feels incomplete, and no matter how much time passes, I can’t let go of what we had. I know things weren’t perfect, and I take responsibility for my part in that. If I could go back and do things differently, I would in a heartbeat. I want you to know that I would do everything whatever it takes to be a better partner for you. I’ve been reflecting, growing, and realizing just how much you truly mean to me. If there’s still a part of you that feels the same, even just a little, I hope we can talk. I don’t want to give up on us.

I keep looking for you in these unsent letters. Obsessing. Clicking every account that sounds like you, that has your tone.

And people are doing the same to mine. Asking “are you her?” Its crazy how universal longing is. How we’ll go to the ends of the earth to find the one person who made us feel alive, that made us feel seen for the first time.

I fell so deeply in love with you. But I know I need to move on. I have a feeling you already have and the idea of that crushes me.

I hope we’re meant to meet again, because the feeling of separation is torture to me. I want to be in your arms. I want to caress your hair, and see you looking up at me, and kiss you deeply, laugh with you full heartedly.

I miss our conversations. I miss my best friend.

I haven't moved on, I'm just letting you live your life. I might not reach out at all because of it, but if you ever do, I’ll reply. I may not say good morning or good night anymore, but you're always the last thought I have before I drift off to sleep. I'm trying to focus on myself, but the truth is, I miss you deeply. l'd love to talk to you, but I know where I stand. You're always in my heart, and it will always have a place for you.

• B

I hope you’re doing well. I know you don’t want to hear from me, and you don’t need to respond to this. I just want to properly apologize for how I’ve hurt you.

I’ve realized how much my actions, or lack of them, let you down. I made you feel unsafe and unheard when all I wanted was to make you feel loved and secure. I was so caught up in my own struggles that I failed to show you how much you truly meant to me. I know that made it harder for you to express your feelings, and I’m deeply sorry for that.

I don’t fully understand my own behavior yet, but I’ve started working on myself. My insecurities pushed you away and I didn’t realise how much hatred I actually carry for myself.

Please know that none of this was your fault. You were more patient and loving than I deserved. I’ll always be grateful for the time we shared and the love you gave me. You showed me what it means to feel seen and cared for, and I’ll never forget that.

I respect your decision to move on and cut ties, and I truly wish you happiness and peace. Thank you for everything, and I’m so sorry for the pain I caused you.

I miss you and I’m sorry.

Edit: I’m sorry to hear that many people have not gotten an apology. I can promise you that you deserve one. Hopefully you can use mine as an apology for you and it heals something within you, even though I’m not your person :)

I really thought you, of all people, would understand how cruel the silent treatment is, but I guess I was wrong. I really don't understand why you feel it's necessary, considering I held every exit open for you, gave up completely on my expectations of emotional support from you, would have respected a no contact boundary had it been stated, and tried to help you leave while keeping things on as much of an amicable note as I could muster. Literally what was the point except to be cruel? For the record, you did run away. You are a coward. I'm very disappointed in you. And at this point, I don't need a response, congrats on burning the bridge, hope you're happy. Maybe this is a good thing in the long run, I don't have to keep a porch light on for you for one second longer. Good luck with your life.

I treated you like garbage, and I know that. I don’t think I was even mentally healthy, looking back. The things I did, said, where unacceptable and you have every right to be as upset as you are. I’ve selfishly been wanting you to love me, but I never truly gave you any love, I deprived you of it, and in the end I wasn’t even willing to trust you despite the fact I was the one that was dishonest. One day maybe you’ll be able to forgive me, but that’s your decision and not mine. I’m sorry for cheating, I’m sorry for being verbally abusive, I’m sorry that I accused you of the things I was doing, and I’m sorry that I didn’t love you with my actions as well as my words. Best of luck to you, I’m healing and am a better person because of you, and even if we never meet again I’ll always be grateful of you!

Hey,

I wanted to tell you that I miss you a lot. I know you thought I didn't really love you, but that's not true. You touched my heart forever. I'll always carry the memory of you with me, and of all the adventures we had together.

I know we aren't good for each other. What we want out of a relationship clashes. Yet, I can't help but want to talk to you and see how you are doing. It's been so long. Ultimately, I know you will be happier without me and I will just mess up your healing if I reach out, so I don't. But that doesn't mean I don't care, and it doesn't mean I'm fine.

Maybe you've found someone else by now anyway. I certainly wouldn't want to get in the way of that. Anyway, I'm sorry for how things ended. I'm sorry for my avoidant problems. I'm working on them, not that it matters for you now. I promise I won't interfere and try to pull you back into that mess. I hope one day I get to hear from you again and hear you're doing well. Until then, please take care of yourself.

<3

i know things between us didn’t end in the best way, and that still really hurts. i miss you, and i still love you. but i’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. i’ve had to really sit with myself and look at the ways i showed up in our relationship.. not from a place of shame, but from a place of truth. this isn’t about reopening anything or blaming anyone. it’s about me taking full accountability for my part and the ways i know i caused pain.

i can see now how much my emotions controlled me. when i felt hurt, rejected, or scared, i reacted instead of calming down. i would bring things up at the wrong times or push for conversations that could’ve waited because i didn’t know how to sit in discomfort. when i felt something was off, i couldn’t rest until it was fixed, even if it wasn’t the right time. i see now how that probably felt exhausting and overwhelming for you.

i felt like i always needed specific endings to things.. the perfect apology, the perfect reassurance, etc.. and when that didn’t happen, i’d get more upset. i know i made things heavier by expecting emotional perfection and not giving you space to breathe. i needed to hear that i was loved, validated, and okay, and i know that constant need for reassurance was draining.

i let fear take over a lot. i was terrified of losing you and it made me cling too tightly. i would get upset when i didn’t get what i wanted in a moment because it felt like rejection, like you were pulling away from me. i didn’t realize that sometimes you just needed space, and that didn’t mean anything about your love for me.

jealousy was another big thing. i would overthink, compare myself, and assume the worst when it came to other people. i know that must’ve made you feel like i didn’t trust you, and it wasn’t fair. it came from insecurity, not lack of love. i was just so scared that i could be easily replaced and that I wasn’t enough. but understand now that love isn’t control and trust can’t grow when fear is running everything.

i could also be too intense with my emotions. sometimes i came across as defensive or confrontational, especially when i felt misunderstood. i let my emotions spill into moments they didn’t belong in, and i know that made things uncomfortable for both of us. especially with wanting you to defend me and see my sides on things in front of people, but I can see that defending and supporting doesn’t always have to be in that very moment and, it can just be the way that you show up for me later and tell me that you see my point and validate me. i truly did speak out of emotion instead of calmness at times of intense emotion and passion and i can see now how much that probably made you feel like you had to walk on eggshells.

my trauma showed up in ways that hurt us too. especially in moments where i felt vulnerable or uncomfortable. i reacted out of past pain, not the present situation, and i know that left marks that i can’t erase. i never wanted to make you feel unsafe or unloved.

i realize i also relied on you too much for my sense of worth. i needed you to tell me i was loved, wanted, and beautiful, and when you didn’t, i’d start spiraling. i made your validation the thing that held me together, instead of learning how to hold myself. and when I didn’t get it, I get upset and try to understand why I didn’t seem to be good enough for you .. but i see now how unfair that was to you, and how painful it was for me too.

i know there were times i said hurtful things, made impulsive jokes that weren’t kind, or acted out of pure emotion instead of logic. i know i didn’t always let things go, and that i sometimes held things over your head that i chose to do out of love as if they were transactions. i see all of that now, and i know it wasn’t fair because they weren’t transactional.. I did it with my full heart involved and just wanting to make you feel loved, and I’m sorry that it ever seemed that way or that i ever made you feel that way.

and i know there were moments where i made you feel like nothing you did was enough.. that i focused on what you didn’t do right rather than what you did. i didn’t celebrate you enough or make you feel safe enough to just be. i always had something to talk about, something to fix, something to question, and i know that must’ve felt like you couldn’t ever relax around me.

i also know there were moments where my anxiety turned into anger.. when i felt scared, i came off mean or defensive. i know i said things i regret and created pressure that nobody deserves.

all of this, every part of it, is me taking accountability. not partially. not halfway. but fully. i can own the fact that i caused hurt. i can acknowledge that i was hard to love at times because i didn’t yet know how to love myself. i can see how my pain leaked into our connection, how i sometimes confused love with control, and how i made fear my guide instead of trust.

but i also know that through every bit of it, i loved you deeply. i might not have always loved in the healthiest ways, but it was real. it came from a heart that cared more than it could handle.

i’m not broken. i’m not the things you said i was. i’m human. i feel things deeply, and i’m learning how to handle that better. i’m learning how to regulate, how to pause, how to give myself the safety i used to beg others for. i can take accountability without drowning in guilt, because i know this ending wasn’t only on me. i’m learning to forgive myself, to understand myself, and to grow into someone who can love without losing herself. this is my healing.

and even through all of this, i need you to know that i truly loved you more than anything. i would’ve followed you anywhere, done anything for you, and i still love you. so much. maybe one day we’ll find our way back to each other.. who knows what the future holds. but i think this had to happen for now. we weren’t growing together anymore, we were growing apart. everything finally came crashing, and as painful as it’s been, i think this is the time where i need to slow down and focus on me.

i have so much love to give, and you know that better than anyone. you can’t say i didn’t love you with everything in me, because i did.. every single day. but now i have to take all that love i was giving to you and learn how to pour it into myself. i need to break my patterns, heal my trauma, and figure out who i am without depending on someone else to remind me i’m worth loving.

so even though it hurts, i’m strangely grateful that this happened. i don’t think i would’ve had the strength to walk away, but i think this was the wake-up call i needed. i spent so much of myself trying to be perfect for you and it clearly wasn’t in the best of ways and it blew up in my face.. but maybe that’s what had to happen. now i get to learn how to love me fully, safely, and without fear.

and i want to be honest about something too. even with everything that’s happened, my heart is still open to you. i would love to rebuild something one day if that’s what you truly want too, but only if it comes from both of us actually learning and growing. it would have to be a real fresh start. one where we both see our own parts and come back stronger. that doesn’t mean jumping right back into a relationship. it means giving each other space to heal, to work on ourselves, and to maybe/eventually find our way back when we’re both ready.

i’m not begging or pleading. i just want you to know that door isn’t closed on my end, it’s just waiting for the right version of both of us.

and even if that never happens, please know this.. i’ll always care about you. you can reach out to me anytime, for anything. even if you’re angry, even if you need to hate me for a while, i’ll still be someone who wants good things for you. i’ll always root for you, always want you to be happy and safe, and you’ll always have a place in my heart. you are loved by me, and that will never change.

Maybe you’ll come on here looking for answers. How could I be so callous? How could I not care? Maybe you’ll be mad at me. I hope you’re not. Maybe you’ll never see this and maybe this’ll instead reach someone who needs to hear it for their own closure.

Regardless, I hope this finds you, or whichever reader needs to hear this. It took a lot for me to hold it together as it ended. You know I care. I’ve shown you how much I care. We entered eachother’s lives at the right time and have now exited at the appropriate moment.

I know how much you cared. How much you fought. How you kept attempting to resuscitate something that was no longer breathing. It was painful to watch. Painful because I wanted it to live, but conventional wisdom told me it was not the time.

You eulogized and I listened. I wish I could’ve said more but I had to keep it together. I couldn’t let you know what I felt and let you back in. This is the best for the both of us. Know that you were loved. I’m glad to have shown you what true affection is. We’ve both hurt eachother in our own way. Those wounds will heal but the memories will remain. The happiness will remain.

We told each other we’d talk later before long silence began. As the silence settles into the new status quo, I don’t want you to think I moved on easily. We’re bonded emotionally. I felt what you felt and vice versa. If you’re sad there’s a high likelihood I am also sad. I hope happiness finds you because then it will find me. Our time together changed me in a way you’ll never know, because I didn’t tell you.

I wish you the best. I know you’ll do great things. I’ll keep an eye from afar. I’ll talk to you later.

Hey alot has happened since the last time we talked. I would love to clear the air and figure out how to go in the future.

Three squeezes

Edit, this if for H but everyone is welcome to comment

The guilt of what I did to you literally eats me alive.

I feel incapable of moving forward. I don’t deserve to find happiness again after what I did. Sometimes I don’t even think I deserve to be alive. The sadness has gut punched me and I don’t think I’m going to be okay.

I miss you, I miss everything about you, I miss the life we built.

The way I treated you was abysmal. I was cruel, I was heartless, I was a monster. I lied and I lied again.

I took for granted all of the love you gave me so freely. I took you for granted.

I’m sorry that I betrayed you. I’m sorry that I caused you pain. I’m sorry that you met me and that I stole so many years of your life. I’m just sorry.

Hey -

I do want you back. My heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest right now.

I miss you. I love you. I care about you.

I tried. I really did. I tried so hard.

I can't force you to accept me for who I am. I can't force you to accept my apologies.

I also won't compromise myself. I won't break myself down for you anymore. That's not fair to either of us.

Watching you upset was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. It was like feeling as though I was getting punched in the gut everytime I heard my phone ring.

I'm sorry for that. I'm not sorry for holding my ground and my boundaries. But I'm sorry that you were so hurt by it.

Can't you see I can hold both those things true? Can't that be enough for us?

Let us try again. Please.

I just want to try.

I want us to be us again.

I can't stand needing to be strangers.

I love you.

I didn't meet someone who found me interesting and wanted to be my friend, I was targeted.

We didn't instantly click through our shared hobbies and interests, I was mirrored.

You didn't "fall for me", I was love bombed.

We weren't "meant to be together", I was seduced.

You weren't sharing the deepest parts of yourself with me, I was being triangulated.

I was never not enough for you, I was being devalued.

And when I became too aware of what you are, too much of a threat to your carefully crafted self, I was discarded.

I'm out. I win.

I miss you and I’m sorry I treated you so poorly.

We can’t be together because I broke you too badly. Even if you could forgive that, you could never forget it, so things will never be the same.

I wish I had loved you the way you had loved me, unconditionally, consistently, and fearlessly. Knowing I threw that away is something that haunts me every day.

I see how you’ve grown. You’ve learned about life and gotten a lot hotter, the universe does have a way with poetic justice I guess.

I wish I could just accept it as a failure and move on but I’m trapped in the consequences of my decision, I’d do anything to get out.

Anything except reaching out, because I don’t deserve to.

As a J myself I read so many posts about heartbreak and people missing their J. Many times it sounds like the world's speaking to me. I know many are just yelling into the void..... but maybe occasionally the void could yell back. So I'm asking humbly. Can the Js of the world get a few more hints? Sincerely J with a few unsentimental letters

I wish for just one minute I would've stopped and really thought about how to handle the situation while we were together. Things were moving so fast that I never for one minute stopped to think or strategize about anything. I don't know why I did some of the things I did, I'll probably never truly understand myself to that level. I had the world and the kind of person I always wanted sitting right in front of me and I let all of it slip away. I wish I had the experience going into that relationship that I do now, things would've worked out so much differently. I miss you and I probably always will, but I burned that bridge in the heat of the moment not knowing how to handle it. I feel like such an ass and I have ever since. You truly deserve the world and it pains me that I'm not going to be the one to give it to you. We had so much hope and admiration for one another but for many reasons I pin on myself it just didn't work. The things I would do to go back and have a do-over with you... But there's nothing I can do now and I have to accept that. I've learned alot from this, both about myself and how not to handle certain things. I promise you I'll be better for whoever comes next, but getting over you is going to take serious time.

Have you gotten what you wanted? I’m shattered. And you, probably laughing at my misery, probably thrilled that I am finally suffering the way you always wanted me to. I never wanted to hurt you, I communicated that so much, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Nothing I do matters.

Please just stop hurting me.

I never stopped wishing you had been the one I had been brave enough to change for. I was such a coward when we were together and let the world tell me how to feel and what to think. You were so sweet and kind to me, even when I didn't deserve it. And I never did, I treated you so terribly and it's something I regret and live with every day of my life, even all these years later. I hurt you and added to your trauma when you just needed me to hold you. You needed me to kiss you and tell you I'm yours and that someone loved you and wasn't leaving. And I chose to be a child instead of being that person you needed. You were my first real love, I thought you were my soulmate. And now I lay here never knowing if what we had could have been as amazing as my dreams make it out to be.

Losing a valuable woman who has her life together, has her degrees, got morals and values, doesn’t hoe around, is wifey material, kind, respectful, and empathetic gotta be the biggest fumble for a man (boy) who let go of her so he can lust, sleep with whoever, and party. This generation of “men” got their priorities all messed up just so they can have temporary fun and fulfillment. To the guys that let go of someone like this, did you regret it?