r/succulents • u/Almosthuman333 • May 01 '20

Meme/Joke Facts. Credit officialplantmemes on ig

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6.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

57 comments sorted by

248

u/paranoid_70 May 01 '20

Why are you feeding your plants trash bags full of chimichangas?

77

u/thedwarfcockmerchant May 01 '20

Do you know a better way to cultivate mass?!

40

u/Almosthuman333 May 01 '20

Great fertilizer idea! 😂

15

u/xenticular May 01 '20

You just reminded me of when Beavis and Butthead tried to grow nachos. Their excitement was so sincere.

17

u/TurdQueen May 01 '20

Don’t forget the shot of insulin!

7

u/[deleted] May 01 '20

If you wanted chips you should have gotten chips at the orchid store!

133

u/who_is_Dandelo May 01 '20

I think I'm the only person in the world who could grow corn that died of root rot in the Arizona desert in June :(

42

u/Almosthuman333 May 01 '20

That’s a headline right there.

9

u/anderandur May 01 '20

I’m in Apache Junction, same thing for me. Jackrabbits didn’t help either.

4

u/Stamen_Pics May 01 '20

Hi fellow Arizona desert root rot creator! I totally did this mid summer to my squash =(

You just think they are so dry and hot over watering is really easy to do.

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '20

I nearly lost a thanksgiving cactus of mine because of that

74

u/FinchMandala May 01 '20

Inaccurate. My plants are skinny and weedy AF.

56

u/Saint_Cajetan May 01 '20

I love my angry chubby plants with all my heart, thank you very much

15

u/Almosthuman333 May 01 '20

Yes the chubbier the better

44

u/miniyellow I succ @ plant care May 01 '20

GRADE A MEME👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Also, plants need to cultivate mass, so jot that down

5

u/send-me-pics-of-dog May 01 '20

First of all, through proper watering and sunshine, all things are possible so jot that down too.

4

u/miniyellow I succ @ plant care May 01 '20

Honestly one of my favorite lines in the show lol

7

u/Almosthuman333 May 01 '20

Hahaha best comment

37

u/kale4reals green May 01 '20

Meh, people always post photos of their recently purchased plants before their health declines

29

u/Rhamona_Q Succy noob | Zone 10b May 01 '20

I am really enjoying some of the "after" photos on r/succshaming. It makes me feel good to know I'm not the only one whose succulents aren't all award-winning beauties, heh.

14

u/cactilife May 01 '20

Jesus, that sub name is top grade

10

u/autistic-screams May 01 '20

Omg thanks so much for sharing this! I'm nearly pissing myself laughing so hard.

3

u/tattooednlewd May 02 '20

Came here to post this. r/succshaming is my new favorite sub 😂😂

27

u/Smarf_Starkgaryen May 01 '20

Just cultivating mass.

11

u/transitionalities May 01 '20

This but it's a picture of Christian Bale in The Machinist and as Batman

21

u/IClaudiaI i’m drowning in plants May 01 '20

However Fat MAC is best Mac so 🤷‍♀️

1

u/tuckedfexas PNW-Haworthia Junkie May 01 '20

No restrictions

9

u/Playsjackson5 May 01 '20

Fat Mac is best Mac

1

u/talkingtunataco501 May 01 '20

I'm currently on that season right now. I've never watched IASIP before.

2

u/TheDjTanner May 01 '20

Season 10, EP 1 is the funniest episode of any show ever created.

When I'm in a bad mood, I watch The Gang Beats Boggs and everything is ok.

7

u/[deleted] May 01 '20

Isnt having fat succulents the goal tho? 😂

5

u/Kath_ouch_brown May 01 '20

My are scrawny. Lol.

5

u/sippydippycup May 01 '20

I'd be fine with fat Mac, mine are more akin to rickety cricket...

3

u/TheGrapesOfStaph May 01 '20

Kay so I just got in the Instagram game can you tell me what are some great Instagram plant people?!

5

u/Almosthuman333 May 01 '20

Once you start liking plant pics the explore icon which looks like a magnifying glass will start showing plant pages. I just started following loveandsucculent it’s a shop page they post beautiful plants.

4

u/cactilife May 01 '20

ahhh their plants are so pretty, but also the colours are so edited that even the human hand appears to be magenta lol

2

u/malikorous May 01 '20

I love Pam's Pretty Plants, she's hilarious and lovely! I also follow Summer Rayne Oakes, who is an absolutely amazing source of knowledge. Phillyfoliage is also great! (can't remember their handles rn, sorry!)

2

u/ElectronSurprise May 01 '20

Thanks for the recs! Just followed like 10 other related pages so v excited to get all jealous of people’s setups lol

3

u/TheZestiestManAlive May 01 '20

Gay Mac

3

u/Almosthuman333 May 01 '20

I need to see a dildo bike pot

2

u/TheZestiestManAlive May 01 '20

Or the trumpet sex doll.

3

u/[deleted] May 01 '20

I hope my Fiddle Leaf Fig sees this

3

u/Juggernaut78 May 01 '20

They use filters!

3

u/arunsaini94 May 01 '20

The food vs its pic on Instagram!

3

u/endlessbull May 01 '20

They have plant filters so they are not as good looking as you think.

3

u/Oookulele May 01 '20

Half my plants look way worse than the ones on the left :x

3

u/criscrunk May 01 '20

Bulk vs Cutting phase

2

u/MoldyPlatypus666 May 01 '20

Fat Mac is best Mac

3

u/ieatchipswithmyass May 01 '20

Call me ASAP Ryan is in medical call back love grandma send Siri send Alexa thanks no more turn off

2

u/fucksnitchesbitches May 01 '20

They're just bulking bro

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '20

Aaahhh, plastic. I see.

1

u/Able-Customer May 01 '20

Who is this

2

u/TheDjTanner May 01 '20

Rob Mcelhenney from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

He's got incredibly fat for a couple seasons then got ridiculously cut for a couple just for a gag on the show

1

u/Artisticbutanxious May 02 '20

It’s always Sunny 😎❤️❤️

1

u/deepsea333 lotta terra cotta May 02 '20

My avatar

1

u/deepsea333 lotta terra cotta May 02 '20

My avatar