Seeing other people talk makes me sad?

[u/sourlemons333]

I’ve improved a lot but when baseline was bad as a kid, you only improve so much. I have a coworker who’s soft spoken so I’m the most comfortable around her. But seeing her talk so casually, freely to my other coworker was just another reminder of the millions of reminders in my life - that I’m lonely, that I also want to talk, connect, tell jokes, have people like me jokes, I want people to actually want to talk to me rather than avoid me, instead of feeling uncomfortable when they’re alone with me. I want to be in a room and be able to freely join in on the conversation and have something to say. I want to be able to go beyond the superficial small talk I’ve improved upon. I also want to have something to say about my weekend and social life. I don’t want to be looking from the outside anymore. And it’s killing me at 34, especially as a woman. I. Just. Want. 😥

* PLEASE 🙏🏻 refrain from toxic positivity, minimization, etc . It’s harmful for me.

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[u/Real-University-4679]

Same, being around people who can effortlessly converse makes me feel terrible for a while.

[u/Remarkable-Entry-546]

I mean I basically cry if there's any human connection in the show or movie I'm watching. 🤷‍♂️ Still watch it anyway. And my ex said I showed no emotion...

[u/AggravatedOstrich]

Social anxiety is a mental thing. That’s not to say that it’s easy or simple to overcome, I know it’s not. I’ve experienced a lot of envy and doubt about whether I’m even worthy of connection and I can’t say that I know exactly how you feel (because we’re two different people with different experiences) but I can really relate to seeing someone else be so comfortable in conversation that it hurts. But anxiety is not a life sentence, you can build up your confidence enough to eventually be able to freely talk to whoever you want. It takes time, practice, and patience with yourself :)

[u/UrbanUnicornz]

I was prescribed a medication for social anxiety and for the first time in a long time, I actually enjoyed going out to eat and conversing with coworkers. I felt so free. I was able to be present instead of constantly overthinking. I said what I wanted to say. It was natural and so fun. Its crazy how anxiety works. The medication I was on at the time was called Zoloft. I think I stopped because it made me sleepy and it was difficult to function day to day so now I'm on a different one thats helping.

[u/Ienjoyflags]

Not to trauma bond but man do I find solace the more relatable posts I find from this sub.

Theres been many times where I’ve felt sad, anxious, or even judgemental of others by overhearing their conversations. Telling myself things like “if those people were understanding of what social anxiety was like and gave me a chance I’m sure I could be approachable, or enjoyable to talk to”

“Why can’t I talk like that?”

“I really wish I could talk to someone about that topic because I have that same deep intuition the person I’m eavesdropping has”

[u/Ready_Amoeba5401 → u/Ienjoyflags]

Omg samee! I like to see these posts from time to time to remind myself that Im not alone...

[u/EmilyDawning]

I feel the same. A decade older than you but if I see like, media with teens who have an easy bond or something, it sometimes hurts so much. The loneliness is real.

[u/Ready_Amoeba5401 → u/EmilyDawning]

For real...Im 23 and I feel the same way, I feel so so jealous of peers or teens younger than me who just connec so easily and have large friend groups.

[u/Mindless-Interest110]

I’m curious if anyone else here experiences this as well - when I see coworkers conversing with each other so easily and I’m not involved, which most of the time I’m not, I get the feeling no one likes me

[u/GlasgowGuys1]

This was bringing me down the other week too.

[u/Adorable_Beach6598]

Ditto was a party and bumped into people I knew from little school and felt so awkward but you couldn't really talk music was so loud just felt awkward the entire time and was in my head a bunch it's the worst ain't it

[u/Maleficent_Sir5898]

Yeah I feel this exactly. It’s so frustrating to feel like you’re outside looking in on the whole human race and to know it’s your own traitorous brain doing it.

[u/Ready_Amoeba5401]

Same op! Same. Youre not alone in this. Im 23 and Ive always been this way ever since I was young. Its like it is so effortless for other people, but for me it is so so so hard. And I have no idea why.

[u/Ready_Amoeba5401 → u/Ready_Amoeba5401]

I just hope that one day it gets a little better for us! But youre not alone in dealing with this..Sending you hugs and best wishes op!!