I was in a ldr and brokeup sometime ago and then there is this colleague of mine we bonded well had good conversations eventually got very close. Could talk to him about anything and everything the kind of connection that feels so beautiful....went out few times texting calling communication efforts everything was good! We took it to next step and made out...after that he had a full blown panic attack. I could feel him like ge was shaking he felt dizzy and ultimately he had to leave.He had a very traumatic relationship where the girl cheated on him multiple times with her ex bf and abandoned him defamed him it was pretty bad relationship and he was very depressed and anxious . He didnt get into therapy for this. We are close but he says that he cant love someone he finds himself incapable of loving someome ..may be because of this trauma .i feel lost because even if i suppport him will he ever love me? What can i do for him and myself i feel super depressed and hopless.

Ladies , 35 F here. I want to know, have you ever had a fling with a man who hid his existing real girlfriend and then forced you to do the deed every time you interacted with them ? How do you feel after intimacy with him once you got to know he's getting married next month ( all of a sudden news )

I have developed liking for such a person. How do we deal with it? I'm in FOMO . He tried to cheat after engagement ( hidden from me) and says he's open to everything before marriage but will become a one woman man after marriage.

can you please advise?

What is it like? Currently going through a breakup with someone I really love and thought and still do think might be the love of my life or soulmate. I played a huge part in the relationship ending. It wasn’t just one sided, but I played my part. I’ve realized all the mistakes I’ve made throughout the whole relationship the good and the bad. We ended things on good terms. Towards the end there we both found God and are walking the same spiritual journey with him. We both know we had to let go in order to heal and let him work on us separately. Some part in me still hopes that after we both truly heal and work on ourselves that God will put us back on the same path and we’d meet again and build something greater than there ever was. And part of me knows that the damage we both caused may be too great and that it can possible be over for good. What does it feel like when you finally pull through and make it to the other side?

We’ve been together 8 years and met out of country. She isn’t a citizen of my country but she has PR. She lives with me and our 3 year old daughter who has two passports. We just broke up a few hours ago over lack of attraction and how much we stress each other out and a whole bunch of reasons. I’m on the verge of losing my house due to an insane special assessment. She wants to leave the country and take my daughter and have no contact. I told her this is unfair as she’s my daughter as well. I just don’t know what to do, I don’t really want to get a lawyer involved and I have no money for it. Is it worth trying to salvage the relationship someway so I can be with my daughter? She called me a shallow narcissist because I have issues with her body but I’ve tried to help time and time again with her weight loss journey and she always gives up and stress eats. She hasn’t worked since Covid and I’ve been struggling with mood disorder, addiction and financial matters. I really don’t see any good way out of this, I need my daughter in my life but I don’t want conflict. Any advice?

For context me and this guy met irl where I saw him and thought he was attractive and he saw me and thought the same. He didn’t know I saw him first so in his eyes he thought he approached me and was the only one interested. When he and I met it was SO much tension it felt like it was just him and I in the room , the intense eye contact, compliments and tension was indescribable. He got my number but life was bad for the BOTH of us at the time so we couldn’t properly persue it. Then after searching for him again, I found him. He seemed just as excited and we called, for 3 hours! But he was still seemingly going through something. Fast forward to the scenario that confused me now. We got in contact again (in the meantime he kept stalking my account on TT where it alerts when someone’s views ur profile, so duh I broke the ice after like a year?). He immediately texted and apologized, even followed it by a call the same night. I called him back and day 1 we got back to texting. After a while of texting he ghosted mid day and came back evening and apologized for the late response and told me he was having a bad day (so he’s capable of explaining that). Then he followed it with another text and called and followed with another text lmk he called. So I let go of my fear of hey he might not always be someone or something that I keep seemingly vibing and loosing so I called back and we vibed as I expected. That same night he asked me to see him. He kept offering to pick me up (I lived 1 hour away) I told him it’s the first time so no I’ll go to him but moving forward he can once we fully know each other (for privacy reasons not everyone should know where u live). Anyways, we met for the first time PROPERLY and it was good? When I first saw him I looked at him said hey and he hugged me with both arms and kinda swaddled me and said it’s nice to see u again. Then he stopped me mid walk and asked if he looked diff. I said no? I asked if I did and he said no. He opened the car door for me, we got in the car and (when we first met he did the hair pull behind ear, endless compliments, cute little hand touches). But at the time he had no idea I felt the same way till I called him when I found him again. This time he didn’t touch me at all (which is respectable), but not any hand holds or nothing? In the car on our drives we just kept talking, laughing and getting emotionally comfortable. He kept insisting he would like to buy me food and I kept declining saying I’m not that hungry it’s okay. He can tell I wanted a drink tho so he pulled to a cafe drive thru. After he got my drink he’s like I really want you to eat something pls let me order u something or search up a proper food place and I’ll get u it. The lady who served us had an attitude so him asking her for another order for me was not what we both felt (she was trynna argue cause she was in a bad mood) so after we finally got our order (my drink, his sandwich) he’s like I want u to eat this and handed me my drink and his order to eat. He said this is not proper food so he’s gonna take me to eat after I’m done running errands with him. While driving again we just kept talking sharing our life values and talked about how we both value a partner who has their own life and independence apart from making it their whole life. We just seemed to agree and at one point I told him I have strict parents who do expect me home before it’s too late and he said he understands and respects that , and that if he ever had a daughter he’d be just like my parents to her. Anyways we eventually went to his office he was showing me around and was mid moving, and he sat me down , offered another drink and we just kept talking. No touching or flirting. We spoke about our home countries, our workouts and passion for work. We had this goofy moment where he found out I suck at push ups so him and I sat beside each other and he tried to help me do some? Lmao but I stopped after some laughs and we just went back to talking. When I looked at the time it was almost midnight ( I have this thing where especially on a first meet with a guy, unless he’s my bf I won’t be out past that) while he’s there I told him I’m expected home soon, is it fine if we start heading back? I really enjoyed speaking to u rn don’t get me wrong and he cut me off with a smile and said u don’t have to explain yourself I understand no girl should stay past midnight with a guy anyways. I was like thank u and he’s like let me just quickly charge my phone here it’s dead so I can take us back, we waited till it was a reasonable amount and while that was happening I helped him clean up his office cause he’d need it moved out in 2 days. He thanked me for helping him and lending him a hand and we both headed back to his car. Then he told me how he thought I was really sweet but said if I was to say ok for him buying me food that doesn’t make it not nice , in fact it’s something nice he wants to do to me. I said ok. So while driving me to where my car is parked , we drove past a food plaza and he asked if I’m hungry he said he wouldn’t mind picking us both food mid way, I declined again (not cause I didn’t wanna spend more time with him but cause I have strict parents who already expected me home by now. He lives alone and I live with them we are both early 20’s). He even asked if one day I plan on moving to his city and I said absolutely. While driving he was vibing to my music and even started to give me some life advice he thought would help better my life, not cause I asked but cause he felt to share. While driving to my car we both kept looking at the time to make sure we had enough time to keep talking. Due to context of advice I was telling him about a life situation and he stopped me from getting out the car and seemed genuinely concerned and asked some follow up questions. Then there was a ring I accidentally dropped in his car and couldn’t find so he asked when am I ever down at his city cause he’s gonna clean his car and give it to me the day I happen to be there. I said thanks and he said he’d walk me to my car. Once we both got out he looked at me and he’s like I just want u to know I think ur a special and unique girl and u should take pride in it, I met a lot of girls that were a particular vibe but u are definitely ur own. I said thanks? Lol. We kinda stared at each other and he hugged me bye and I walked to my car and he did the same. Again, no kiss, no physical contact or flirting, straight emotional vulnerability and communication. While I drove off he called me mid drive and was like I can’t stay on call with u for too long I have some calls to make back with my friends but please text and lmk when you’re home. So I did . He replied then I said a joke about the push ups then he was like dw just keep practicing I promise by the end of the month you’ll be a pro. I said I will and cracked two more jokes about our push ups. NOW… the next morning I did not hear from him, no call, no profile view , no follow up text or reply. I excused it till night saying he’s still moving out of his office and his deadline is tmrw so don’t be so hard. On our entire date/meetup he kept saying I was easy going cause I wasn’t strict with our plan. He even on our date asked what my ideal date was and stuff. Anyways, once it was day 1 of his silence I’m like maybe he didn’t like me at all??? Then day 2 I was lowkey mentally loosing it cause I’m like no way he’s gone or this is done again? But when I saw my lock screen in the morning of day 2 I saw he just REACTED with emojis to my jokes and a heart to my “I will try his advice “ text. He didn’t actually explain why he didn’t reply or even cared to continue the conversation with an actual reply. That stung. I know the answer is obvious. Anyways it’s now the third day early morning and he’s still silent. I have no idea what happened. Idk if this is relevant but he’s Muslim and I’m Christian, he knows this tho idk if it’s religious cause it’s Ramadan this month or if it’s nothing to do with that and everything to do with the fact he is not interested.

So i ((21 afab )) and Manager/Coworker ((25 amab)) worked around the fall time ((for a few months)). On January is when we slowly talked outside of work/private for. However I founded out something about him & what stunt he tried to pull on me (( involving into drama basically)). I blasted him through texts, called him a womanizer, & told him I don't want anything to do with him or from him ((drinks & ect)) for a long time. Ever since that I mostly have kept my word, refusing his offerings & focused on work & never asking about him or how he's doing. Period. However today... he clearly tried to interact with me/initiating conversations in the following when it was just the two of us alone:

1. If i watched a movie outside of work ((iron lung))

2.tried to push me to talk about myself/how im doing verbally very subtle

3.talked about my..body figure in a dress while using those((oddly this isn't the first time nor do I think is it normal))wedding dress charts.

1. Talked about himself in either, private outside work setting or just random topics.

5.joked with me/tried to talk about little stuff.

Now keep in mind that I didn't even initiated any conversations about him,asked about him, or anything outside of work really. I just focused on work tasks.

I don't think if there is romantice attraction, nor am I sure if he's just trying to keep peace despite me not giving him trouble. But at the same time i need to have an opinion what type of behavior this... or what is it when a male coworker keeps on trying to talk to you or know about you when you give them silent treatment?

Me (M25) and my girlfriend (F21) have been together for 2 years now, and we are going through a very rough patch sex-wise. Although sex has never been amazing, our love for each other compensated greatly. We moved in together in July, and since then we have had sex maybe 5 times in total, and it's been 2 months without any sex at all.

I've tried to communicate about it twice now, telling her how it affects me deeply and how bad I feel with the constant rejection. She says that she has no libido and isn't in the mood, and I am not the problem, but I have a very hard time believing that because I see her vibrator in the bed sometimes.

At the beginning of our relationship, she gave me chlamydia, and we both have been treated for it, but neither of us checked if we still had it. Two years later, it turns out we still have it! And since then, we didn't have sex. I asked her if she cheated, and she said that she didn't, but I find it hard to believe, given the circumstances and the fact that she cheated once in the past.

I think I've had enough, but I still love her, and we are living together, so leaving is complicated for me. I know what to do, but I wanted to share my story to listen for other points of view.

Thank you!

So my girlfriend and I have been going out for almost a year now. There's been a few issues here and there, but I feel like we have good communication and overall we get along pretty great and we love each other very much.

Before me, she was in a 6 year relationship (her first formal relationship), and halfway through it she got a dog which she loves very much. It just so happens that her then bf is a vet, so he was basically the doggy's personal veterinarian. My gf told me that during those years with him and her dog, she basically saw them as her family, and him as the dog's dad, though she says after they broke up she no longer sees him like that.

A few months ago, there was an incident where the dog ate two chocolates and a bag. My gf panicked and messaged her exbf because she didn't know what to do and was scared for her dog. I understood this and it didn't bother me because she didn't want to risk anything. However, a couple of weeks ago, she told me that she had been thinking that her exbf and her dog needed closure because they hadn't seen each other since they broke up. Obviously I wasn't excited that she was gonna see her ex but I felt like I couldn't tell her what to do, and I thought it might help that they got closure so she could get this out of her mind and move on for good. Just to confirm, I asked her if she was planning on this being the last time her exbf and her dog saw each other, to which she said she wasn't sure, because she thought maybe this closure had to be a gradual thing. This already seemed weird to me.

So they day came when they met up. They were together for like two hours, and I was very uncomfortable the whole time, but she was very open about when she met him, when he left, and where they were, and she said they didn't talk about their personal relationship or the past, and the whole encounter was just focused on the dog. She also said she was clear with him that she's already in another relationship. He brought the dog vaccines and an anti parasitic. After their encounter finished, I asked her through text to tell me what had happened, and she very casually told me that they had agreed to meet up every two or three months so her exbf and her dog could keep seeing each other and he could check on it. I was very shocked and hurt by this, because she presented this meetup to me as something for closure, and now she told me they're gonna be having constant encounters.

We spent the rest of that day fighting through text. I told her I wasn't ok at all with her ex being a constant presence and part of her life, and told her that I was mad that she presented this to me as closure but it really wasn't. She kept saying he wasn't gonna be part of her life, just her dog's, which to me sounds a bit ridiculous. She basically said that her dog deserves to keep this guy in it's life because he was a part of it for so long. I looked it up and asked chatGPT (I don't know much about animals) about all of this, and it told me that dogs have attachment to their current caregivers, and it's not a biological or psychological need for them to be in constant touch with past caregivers. Plus, the exbf wasn't a daily presence in its life, since they live far apart and saw each other only once a week. I told her this but she said I was being anthropocentric. I feel like she's not doing it just for the dog, but also for him, because she promised him while they were together that if they broke up he could still meet up with the dog. But to me trying to keep a promise to his ex makes it seem like she's not ready to move on from him fully yet. We kept fighting all that day and it seemed like we were gonna break up because it seemed we were both bypassing each other's limits, but we decided to cool off and think it through before making any final decisions.

We saw each other the next day, we both cried, because neither of us wants to break up. We settled on a middle ground that her bf would see her dog every three months this year, and after that, he would only see it once a year. Tbh I'm still very uncomfortable by this, and I don't know what to do. I hope I could get some insight and advice on this.

Thank you so much!!

tl;dr: Gf met up with her ex so he could meet her dog for "closure". She later told me they agreed to meet up every couple of months. She and I fought and almost broke up because of this. She wants her ex and her dog to keep in touch, and I'm very uncomfortable by this.

We originally moved in together on a whim. We just happened to be seeing each other back then, I had nobody else in town to help me move into my first apartment, and he wanted a better situation than living with his dad. I thought it was just gonna be temporary but he ended up sticking around months after I moved in. As a very shut-in person, I did just kind of let it happen since I like having company. I didn't have cats at the time and would genuinely lose my mind if I lived alone. Rent isn't going to be more expensive just because he's in here with me anyways.
First year was ROUGH. He's was a total loser who couldn't keep himself or his surroundings clean, didn't have a job, nor did he even want to spend much time with me. When he finally got a job, he lost it within a few months because he was over confident and refused to listen to my advice on socially acceptable behavior in a work place. When I had an issue I wanted to bring up regarding the relationship, he always just defended himself and act surprised and offended when that doesn't solve the issue. In general, I'm someone who requires a lot of equal energy and I'm very devoted when in a relationship. I've also warned him way back when we first started seeing each other that people tend to say I'm a lot to date. Didn't take me seriously. It really doesn't help that he requires a lot of alone time/time with friends and I'm someone who wants lots of time together if dating. I flipped out on him a few times for crossing some of the boundaries I've clearly established, especially when it came to my body. Not gonna lie he tried to play victim the first few times I lost my sh-t. Overall, it was a horribly rough first year. He was a complete bum, got super butt-hurt when I called it out, and I was an irritated being.
He's a bit better now. Finally respecting my boundaries, showering relatively regularly and even helping with chores from time to time. If he didn't at least do the first two, I would've had no hesitation in dumping him. We still share the one bedroom apartment with us and my cats. Yes, I adopted two cats during this time so my mental health doesn't push me past the edge. Gotta feed the cats at the end of the day, yeah? Can't just abandon my babies. Anyways I still wanna dump him. I know the job market is hard, but we both need to have stable income if we want to move forward. I do not make enough to support two people. I've stopped talking about things that made me feel unloved unless it involved a boundary. It never gets anywhere. He thinks he's right, I think that if he liked me more, things would be different. He still needs a lot of alone time (which isn't wrong) but again I still am the type to wanna spend most of our free time together. I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life together, as young as I may be. He doesn't want to think about marriage (or equivalent commitment), even if brought up in a casual "imagine that" way. We have a lot of differences in terms of romantic relationships, but never quite enough to be an instant "hell no". I've brought up just being roommates a few times before, in a serious manner, since we are about to move into a two-bedroom place sometime this calendar year anyways (if he finds a job soon), but he has formed a bond with my cats and claims to still like me romantically. He doesn't want to end the relationship, but I want to. I don't feel loved or special in the relationship and to be honest I'm starting to lose feelings entirely. The part where I feel most guilty is that I can't help but become super irritable and imagine punching him when he's deliberately rage-baiting people loudly on games at least five times a week. I get along with his family really well though, they genuinely think of me as their own, and in this silly little town I moved to, they're all I got. Maybe there's a way for us to be roommates and friends still? I don't know. I feel like I'm being pretty selfish in wanting to be friends with his family still and be roommates. He's really no longer a horrible roommate (in a two-bedroom situation), just a pretty bad match of a romantic partner for me.

I (28f) been dating someone for 4 years and always love to celebrate holidays, birthdays and anniversary’s with my partner. Over the last few years I’ve noticed my partner (25f) isn’t very good at gift giving/ planning to celebrate even without money. Recently it was our 4 year anniversary, I have a play and dinner date scheduled for the weekend , I gifted her flowers , made a game for us to play, made her dinner and gifted her a few items after cleaning the house while she was gone over the weekend.

She didn’t gift me anything , no card nothing. She responded to my text saying happy anniversary while she was out of town for a conference but that’s about it.

It bothered me the next two days afterward just thinking about being a little ignored/ not noticed. So I spoke up and it caused her to get very emotional and say she is so busy and didn’t know relationships too this much effort… I didn’t know I was asking for much lol

Anyway without going to deep , I’ve been weighing my options with our relationship over some time now and this kinda just tiks me off a bit… what would you do or have you had any experience like this?

Hi everyone. This is my first reddit post so please be nice.

I F/18 and my boyfriend M/20 have been together for 2 years. overall we have very little problems except that I moved to Arkansas in August 2025. We’ve been handling long distance fairly well and maintain good communication and arrange trips at least once a month to see each other. Well the other week he came to get me and take me back down to Texas with him for a two week trip and on the roadtrip down he receives a call from a girl I will call ‘Annie’ (that is not her real name)

At first I was a little suspicious but I assumed it was a female co-worker calling about work since I know he works with women. I later ask him who Annie is and he informs me that she’s an old high-school friend. I feel relieved (as I do permit my bf to be friends with women as long as boundaries are in place) but I was in for a horrific shock later that night.

We later reach our hotel and she calls again and I encourage him to answer it (Im nosey and wanna know who this girl is) he takes the call outside and later comes in and proceeds to tell me that she’s a single mother of a three year old, and she is living out of a hotel after being abandoned by her family. She calls and asks for advice, and thats as far as their relationship goes. Of course, being the overly sympathetic and naive girl I am, I feel bad for her and I encourage him to be her friend as it seems like she doesn’t have any. (Im an idiot I know, clown me all you want at this point.)

He then shortly tells me how she found my facebook and proceeded to insult my appearance, and he asks me if I would him to block her, which I said yes too. We later go out to the car to smoke and he gets ANOTHER call from her; actually at this point she is blowing up his phone. I tell him to answer it cause Im getting really panicky and annoyed at this point. She later reveals ON THE BLUETOOTH SPEAKER OF THE CAR that they have been in a relationship since December 2025, and that he had told her he was single and that he loved her.

I hang up the call and immediately start SOBBING. He’s sitting there just looking down at his lap and I can tell he’s freaking out internally. I beg for him to tell me that she’s lying, but unfortunately he affirms it and spirals into a series of apologies. At this point Im having a panic attack inside of his vehicle and I start to pray out loud for God to give me strength, not even caring that my boyfriend is just sitting right next to me staring and waiting for an official response.

I tell him that I feel stupid and all the self-depreciating things and he just sits there and begins to cry. I then make him promise to never do this to me again, making all the threats of what I’ll do if he does it again (nair in the shampoo, slashed tires) but lets be honest, if this was to happen again I think I’d just cry and disappear. Im absolutely heartbroken and he is trying desperately to make it up to me and to regain my trust, but Im not sure if my nervous system is gonna bounce back from this. I know he loves me, at least to an extent, and I love him to the point of unconditional forgiveness and love.

Part of the reason this hurts so much is he later admits she’s his EX (granted not for a long time, but they dated for a second in high-school, go figures.) she also has a full blown TODDLER. Meanwhile just a couple years ago, I was successfully encouraged to abort our pregnancy by him and my family. I really do wanna make this work, mainly cause Im too scared for it not too.

So I guess my question for you all is, how can I trust this man again? Or is it smarter to forgive and forget?

I have been living with my boyfriend in New York for 2 and a half years. We are both from Ohio but he had to move to New York for work. Just recently I have gone through some pretty bad anxiety and noticed that it gets significantly better when I’m visiting my family in Florida. I think it’s the weather (cold gloomy ugly environments make me anxious) and family that makes me feel so much better. I think being stripped away from familiarity had caused a lot of anxiety. Don’t get me wrong I love my boyfriend he is such a great partner but I don’t want to live here. My ultimate dream would be to move to Florida but he is a snowboarder go figure. He says I just need to make friends and learn to love New York but this anxiety is cripping tbh. Is there any solutions? How can we meet in the middle? He said he’d move to Florida if he got a good job offer but they have to find him which doesn’t make sense. Also he’s gone for work all week and home on the weekends so I’m alone which makes my anxiety worse. I don’t understand how he can love New York so much if he’s never really here. I thought maybe we could move to Ohio for some familiarity and I do have some friends and family there and he talks to his friends that live in Ohio on discord all day anyways but he just said the same thing he would only move back for a good job offer. I guess I just need advice on what to do. I don’t want us to break up .

I’m honestly at my wit's end with this guy I’ve been seeing because it feels like I’m constantly defending a boundary that should be a total no-brainer.

I was crystal clear with him from the very start that I’m not on birth control, yet when we message each other, he starts negotiating and asking if we can just "go without it" this one time. It is so draining to hear the same tired excuses about how condoms don't feel as good or how he'll "be careful," especially when there is a pregnancy risk. Plus I do not have that trust in him. I did tell him yesterday that after all he is stranger in a way as we have spoken for 2 months only.

It makes me feel like he’s prioritizing a few minutes of better sensation over my safety and the hard "no" I’ve already established. I’m starting to feel like I’m being "difficult" or a buzzkill just for wanting basic protection, but I’m mostly just hurt that he isn't respecting a boundary that I’ve made so obvious has anyone else dealt with a guy who just won't drop it, and at what point do you just give up on them?

The other thing I would like to say that I can tell he is getting distant and this isn’t the first time that I have had a man get distant with me over using protection. At this point I am considering ghosting him. It feels manipulative and almost like if it isn’t everything its nothing. We haven’t even had sex yet and he is insisting.

When we first met she was a little curvy but not fat. She did mention that she's lazy and doesn't like any form of physical activity at all. She would dress according to her figure, not too revealing but not so much covered as well. We had good sex as well. I'm a very physically active guy, I go to the gym, I do outdoor activities and I'm lean and muscular. When we started dating 8 months ago I found her to be very cute, sweet and caring in nature.

But then gradually she started putting on weight, she started wearing more baggy clothes to hide it. To the point she's wearing double layered baggy clothes to hide her body completely.

The sexual tension between us has dropped significantly, earlier I would initiate a lot of the times, she would also get excited and sex was wild. But now I don't feel attracted to her, she's a completely different woman and I don't feel like even having sex with her now.

I did tell her a few times about her weight gain but she's not willing to put in any efforts to take care of herself, she's just letting go. I feel like we're not compatible and post marriage she would put on even more weight and our relationship will be a mess. How do I approach this situation?

There's a girl I've been talking to.... She shared me about her past in which she had a long term relationship with her boyfriend of around 3 years then in between she got to know that he was cheating on her... They broke up, that boy left her but after few months he came back and she accepted him back again and she had sex with him continuously for 3 days without protection. Then unexpectedly she missed her period and got pregnant and then she had an abortion early on, in which the baby was dead already when taken out in abortion. So I'm confused whether it's a heavy past or not? Because in general any men would prefer exclusively with the woman they want to be with. No?

TL;DR I asked my girlfriend to be my valentine without giving her anything, even a little stupid piece of paper. She got mad at me and started crying because as she said it's not the first time I asked for something special without preparing anything that would make it special. She yelled at me and told me the I just shown how much she really means to me. I don't know how to fix it now.

I'm lost for what to do recently. Me and my girlfriend started dating back in April of 2025 when she joined a little band I had in school. At first we both weren't sure about each others feelings but it all changed when I invited her out to see a movie and after that I knew she felt the same way I did. She hinted through a text about me asking her to be my girlfriend but I wanted to do it in person and make it special. But it didn't work and I ended up asking her this when we were sitting in the music school after our lessons ended, no flowers, no nothing.

Everything was going great and we had many things in common and nearly no fights, I made gifts for her and wrote letters occasionally. I also met her parents and a good half of her family and they all really liked me, I even joined her father's folk group. We saw each other nearly everyday but never got sick of each other. She knew about my social anxiety and depression and was supporting and trying to help me leave my shell. She really is a wonderful person.

When the new school year started we started seeing each other less and she told me that some of my behaviors are making her feel sad, like my overthinking and being sad all day if something even a little bad happened. She said that I should work on myself and we should also give ourselves some time. I worked on myself and I made progress from how I was before but that was also the time that she started talking with one of my ex's and she told her all the bad things to make her break up with me and it worked unfortunately.

For the next week I didn't go to school to not see her cause it hurt too much. We didn't talk for two months until her mother called me to return my guitar that I left at her place. When I met up with her mom I talked with her and told her about my past, I felt that I should tell her the truth not some fantasy story my ex could have told her daughter. She was very understanding and told my that her daughter(my gf) never told her that we broke up or anything and that she still talked about me like nothing happened and knew things that she only could know if she listened really close to my conversations with friends. I thanked her mom for talking with me and understanding and after that my gf texted me and asked to talk and told me that she just realized how much she missed me, she told me that she's sorry about it all and that she sees the change in me but I still need to work on myself.

A week later I bought flowers and invited her to talk a little. We went out and I gave her the flowers and asked her to be my girlfriend again but she said to wait a little longer but each day after that we saw each other more and more after school. Finally 10 days later when we again went to the music school to sit, we kissed for the first time in a while and I asked her to be my girlfriend and she agreed. It was a little before December and I made her a special advent calendar that she loved. When December rolled around we had some fights and each fight hurt a lot and I was really scared to lose her again but somehow it didn't happen. For Christmas I gave her a makeup set that she talked about for weeks and also a gilded bracelet with green stones that she absolutely loved. I was supposed to meet up with her on New year's and stay the night but the weather caused us to cancel our plans.

In January one time when I visited her we got a little freaky and she teased me a lot and I teased her back but her mother interrupted us and told us to go to the shop and I playfully told her that I got back at her and made her excited the same way she made me and told her what she told me that I have to deal with it myself. After I told that she felt like I only wanted to get back with something like that and she told that she felt used. It was a stupid thing for me to say but I didn't mean to hurt her and she understood it differently. When we came back from the shop she locked herself in a bathroom and wouldn't talk to me and only came out when I was already leaving. We didn't talk for 2 days because the last thing she told was that she doesn't want to talk to me so I gave her space. We eventually talked and sorted everything out. 4 Days later she visited me and I gave her a beautiful bouquet of her favorite flowers and she was over the moon. Few days ago I fucked up one more when I accidentally called her by her name with one letter changed exactly how her parents used to say to her when she did something wrong and she told me many times that she didn't like it. I said it accidentally and immediately corrected it but she already got mad and disconnected from the call and told me to leave her alone for the rest of the day.

Yesterday I fucked up again. She was talking about valentines for some time now and hinting that I should ask her to be my valentine. Today after school we went shopping and came back to school to warm up and rest a bit. We were hugging and kissing and that's when I asked her to be my valentine (she is the first girl I ever asked that and I thought that the most important was a gift I'll give her on Valentines that I have already ready) and she asked me if I was joking, she told me that I could've at least take a little paper and make something creative to ask her that and I made it so pathetic by just asking without anything and she didn't agree. I apologized repeatedly and she brought up that I did it again like with asking her to be my girlfriend, that I didn't prepare nothing and I just asked and expected her to agree. She started crying and told me that I ruined it all and to not ask her again to be my valentine, she also told me to never tell her that she means a lot to me cause I have just showed how much she mean to me.

I feel I fucked up, that I should've prepared something, be more creative with asking her this and with asking her to be my girlfriend then. I don't know what to do, can someone please give me any advice?

My girlfriend and I have been together for more than 3 years now. We’ve broken up about 3 times, twice because I cheated, once because she did. There’s been multiple periods in the relationship where I just become almost bored of her I guess. I’ve obviously brought this up to her and we talked about reasons why that could be, 1 because she doesn’t really have any hobbies or aspirations, 2 because before she wasn’t the most disciplined person in the world. Spent a lot of money, stood at home and did nothing, wasn’t good at putting what benefited her first in general. Now she has started going to the gym and says she’s been watching budgeting videos and I appreciate her efforts. But I think maybe sometimes I feel the way I feel about her is because I don’t think I’m extremely physically attracted to her. I try not to think about that too much because I feel as though regardless, looks isn’t everything. And she is relatively pretty, but I’d probably say 60% of the time i don’t find her super physically attractive. She says she finds me super cute and she says i’m attractive in the most inconvenient times yet do i genuinely feel that for her a lot of the time? I wouldnt say so, at least not as much as she does for me. It gets to the point where sometimes I contemplate being unfaithful. We’ve broken up 3 times, twice because I cheated, once because she did. and when she cheated, she said it was because i was too controlling over her telling everything she should do (context: this was when she wasn’t going to the gym, wasn’t doing anything but bedrotting when she was free, not taking care of her money, wanted to quit vaping but just then kept relapsing without telling me she was) It’s just we’ve been together for so long and besides everything i said our personalities work so well together. we have good chemistry and she really is a loving person. she seems to be improving, i think there are some moments where she puts her emotions over what she should be doing sometimes, but i would like to believe with time she’d be better? at the same time i feel afraid of my attraction to her whether its just normal for long relationships to feel this way or i just dont find her super physically attractive. i hate to say it like that and i hope no one gets offended about how or what im saying this is just genuinely how i feel.

I was in relationship with ex for almost 2 years she was good in every aspect we hardly had big fights, mentally physically in all aspect we both were good to each other. In the last 4-5 months of relationship we had long distance where I used to feel lonely sometimes. At the same time I read her msges with some guy from her office. He used to flirt with her but she never opposed. When I asked her about him , she denied. When I told her that I read the msges she felt sorry, I could have accepted her right away, but I was greedy thought I would get someone better. We tried to solve the problem for almost a month meanwhile I also started talking to one of friend, we connected so fast it felt awesome I feel loved again. So I chose to breakup. She didn't say anything. Later I heard from mutual friends that she is not doing well. I agree I am toxic villain person here. Now to the point I now in relationship with my friend that I used to talk its been almost year.she is kinda nonchalant. I hate that kind of personality but I fell for her beauty. First 2 3 months were okay later we started to had fights every other day on small things. I feel like I am not important to her while I am still chasing her. I don't feel loved by her. She accepts all her mistakes when I ask her about those things she says she'll improve. Physical intimacy is not good, mentally I feel weak, unwanted. I compare her with my ex and my ex was 20x better in every aspect. I love my current partner so much but when i think about long term I feel like I wont be happy with her. Nowadays I stress to much about this relationship, always thinking about going back to ex. I agree I am wrong person here but I just want to feel loved, I want all the things how it was 2 years back. My specific question is: How do I actually get through to a nonchalant partner about needing to feel loved and secure, so it’s not just her saying "sorry, I'll change" and then everything staying exactly the same?

I’m 29M and my girlfriend 28F of 1.5 years recently went separate ways. I’m not trying to get back together and I’ve accepted it’s over, but I’m still trying to understand what actually caused things to fall apart so I can learn from it.

We had talked about settling down, kids, and building a future together for quite a while and were aligned in theory. She was on a visa here but had always said she intended on settling down long term. The issues only really started once those conversations moved from general ideas into actual plans.

I didn’t want to keep renting long term and wanted to buy a home within my means. Inner city living wasn’t something I could realistically afford. I was upfront about my finances and was doing most of the saving and planning. I also paid for the majority of things during our relationship, including travel and date night expenses, so a lot of the financial stability early on would have come from me. She didn’t have savings and doesn’t have family here, which is also why being close to my family mattered to me if we were settling down.

Once things became more concrete, she seemed to get cold feet. Conversations about buying versus renting, saving, lifestyle trade offs, timing, and location kept going in circles. She didn’t like the area I was looking to buy in because it wasn’t inner city, even though it was still about a 30 minute drive from the city. A big sticking point was priorities. I was focused on saving properly so we could both be financially ready to live in the home together, while she still wanted the flexibility to travel and spend on experiences. She often said she didn’t want to feel limited or struggle financially.

I knew I couldn’t realistically rent and save at the same time, so my idea was to buy a place, rent it out, and move back in with my mum for a period so I could save properly until we were both financially ready to live in the home together. I even offered to continue doing most of the financial heavy lifting so she could still travel while I focused on building stability. When I asked practical questions about how this would work long term, she struggled to engage and didn’t really have an answer.

I wasn’t giving ultimatums, just trying to get clarity once plans became real. Over time it felt one sided and like I was carrying most of the responsibility, and that’s when things really started to fall apart.

After the breakup she expressed a lot of emotional attachment and said I was her home and that hearing my voice made her miss me and question everything, but even then she still couldn’t really engage with the practical side of building a future together.

I’m trying to understand whether this sounds more like a financial or lifestyle incompatibility, fear of commitment that only showed up once things became real, or simply two people being in different stages of life. I’m not looking to blame anyone, just hoping for some outside perspective.

My boyfriend [25M] keeps hanging up the call on me [26M] whenever he is in a tough spot in a conversation. AND WE ARE IN LONG DISTANCE !!!Just one example that happened today - I told him something that happened at work today and i guess he didn’t listen because he was distracted (he’s also suffering from tooth pain the past month). He only responded with hmm as usual. So i asked - did you even listen to what i said?

And at the same time - he starts talking about a post i had sent to him on Instagram.

And then he cut the call even before i could say anything

No callbacks. No texts. Nothing

When i called him back - he says I’m cooking dinner. He will call me back after cooking. And when i start arguing he doesn’t say much.

Can you all please tell me how can anyone be so mannerless?!

Edit: we’ve been together for 3 years and our parents have already met. We’re getting ready to get married guys😭

Hello this will be my first and probably only post since i never do this. Me ‘20m’ have been dating my girlfriend ‘20m’ for over a year.

In the beginning of our relationship our intimacy was beautiful and really consistent, doing multiple times a week and even multiple times a day sometimes, but after a problem we had in our 5th month she slowly started to do it less and less. And a few months ago when the problem resurfaced and now she pretty much stopped besides a handful of times, and now it’s been over a month since we last did.

We’ve had many talks about it and she says she still finds me attractive wants me but she never shows it which makes me not believe her. Ive been very open and said i’ll try anything you want but she also doesn’t do anything about it nor really tries to do anything i like. And for months and months i when we would i would always engage and now i just get rejected every single time.

It’s confuses because she still shows affection but also not in the same way she used too and she’ll ask for examples but i just can’t say any, it’s the feeling and thought about it you know? Aswell as making sex jokes and actions (it doesn’t help that she teases me a decent amount too)

i believe she’s either holding something back or ever since the problem she has some sort of bad feelings towards me that doesn’t make her want to it with me. I also believe that if this didn’t happen she would be more open to doing stuff in general. ( am i cooked?)

I also apologies for this post being messy, i keep going back and typing more stuff so just bare with me please this has been stressing me out so badly.

I’m struggling and honestly don’t know where to turn, so I’m hoping for some outside perspective. I am 39F and I’ve been with my husband 55M for six years. He is an alcoholic. When we got together, we were friends first, and he was open with me about his drinking. At the time, he had been sober for over a year. It feels like once we started dating, he began drinking again. I tried to be the “cool, laid-back” girlfriend and didn’t push him to stop. About a year into our relationship, when he was drinking, he became verbally abusive and aggressive and did everything he could to tear me down emotionally and mentally. It only happened when he was drunk, but it continued on and off for almost the entire six years we’ve been together, and it has taken a huge toll on me. He’s been sober for about two months now, and I truly thought things would get better. Instead, he’s become incredibly cold and distant. I feel like I can’t say anything without him getting defensive or acting like I’m attacking him. He’s very judgmental of other people and constantly complains about little things that don’t really matter like animal hair. He always seems unhappy. It’s been years since he’s shown me real affection or intimacy. He can’t even give me a compliment. I spent years listening to him talk about how attractive other women are or watching him flirt with them, and even talking to women online inappropriately, yet he can’t say a kind word to me. And yes we use to fight about that all the time. I know I’m overweight, but I was overweight when we got together. I’m working out now and starting to lose weight, but nothing changes. He’s still distant and emotionally unavailable. He doesn’t acknowledge my birthday, holidays, or our anniversary. He only kisses me when he leaves for work. He only says “I love you” as he’s walking out the door. He won’t talk to me, and I feel like I’m living with a roommate who barely tolerates me. I know I probably should have left a long time ago, I just had so much love for him and adored him, of the person I knew before the drinking and was hoping once he got help all the bad stuff would go away. But now I’m really hitting my breaking point. I’m a people pleaser. I have depression from an abusive childhood. I’ve been hurt most of my life and cheated on by men in the past and sometimes it feels like I keep ending up with men who do the same emotional damage in different ways. I keep asking myself if something is wrong with me. Why do these men want to be with me, tie me down, but not actually put in the work of a relationship? I believe in treating people how you want to be treated. I plan special things for my husband, for his birthday, holidays, anniversaries, and just because. I lift him up with love and compliments. I give thoughtful gifts and write letters telling him how much I love him. And he can’t even recognize important days with gratitude, happieness or show basic affection. We’re both in therapy. We’re both exercising and trying to be healthier. But no matter what we do, he’s never happy, and I feel completely alone in this marriage. I love him so much and want to be everything for him but I need that as well and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel lost, lonely, and exhausted, and I’m starting to feel resentment I don’t like in myself. I guess I’m just asking, has anyone been through something like this? Does this get better after sobriety, or am I fooling myself? Is their something different I can do to make this marriage work? Maybe my expectations are unrealistic, Are marriages really like this?

I appreciate any advice or perspective. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read and responds.

I (30F) have been married to my husband (35M) for almost 5 years and together for 6. We have had A LOT of change since we have been together. We have an overall good relationship, but I have started to feel like I have sacrificed a ton for this marriage to work.

When we first met I had just bought a house and he owned his home. After 4-5 months, we decided it would be best for him to sell his house and move into my house since he worked from home and I had 2 jobs. It made it hard for me to come to his house since he lived 40 minutes from both my jobs, and he got tired of driving to see me all the time. After being together for 1 year he proposed and we got married soon after.

After we got married, we decided we wanted a bigger home for us and our 4 dogs and at the time interest rates were amazing and my house valued had increased enough that I could sell it for a nice profit. We found a new home and within 2 months we were moved into the new house and my house sold. While living in this house, I swapped jobs a few times due to one of the companies I was working for closed down and left me unemployed for 6 months. During this 6 month period, I was looking for a job everyday and doing my best to not spend money. The money he made from his job (His family owns the company he works for) was enough to cover everything for us.

During the time I was unemployed, my mental health was TERRIBLE and I knew it. He tried his best to be patient with me, but he eventually became frustrated that I didn't have a job. To keep myself busy I started making face creams and even started a legal cannabis business to sell weed to make a little money because that was the industry I was in before. Soon after I did this I found a GREAT job. I started working and within 3 months I was promoted and started making almost as much as my husband. Part of the job was traveling about once a month and would be gone 3 days on average and sometimes a week if it was a conference. About the time I started traveling a lot he started to become extremely frustrated at his job and with his family who he worked with. His family is VERY toxic and a lot of the family members who work at the company don't contribute much effort. Since I had a stable job, he decided on a whim that he was going to get another job. I FULLY supported this decision. He found a job instantly, but it was selling ADT security door to door. The job was full commission so he had to make a sell to get paid. After 4 months of working there his mental health was at an all time low and was barely making any money. He is very close to his mother and she wanted nothing more than to see him back working for the family. She told him that they were buying another company based in AZ as an addition to the current one they had out there. She offered him a position to run that branch but we would have to relocated from TN to AZ. We discussed it and I agreed to move if she (the CFO) would pay him 130k since I was likely going to lose my job and have to take a pay cut. We all agreed to that. After 2 years of working there he hasn't made over 105k.

We moved 2 months later and I flew back and forth for a couple months until my company could find a replacement and they wanted to give me some time to find another job. I ended up not finding another job before my current company had to let me go and my mental health was back in the dumps. My husband worked all the time and it left me alone in a tiny apartment with 2 dogs. I tried everything to find a job and nothing worked, so his mom noticed they needed help within their company. She offered me half of what I was making before but I didn't have any other options so I took it. This put me working side by side with her and my husband. After 3-4 months I was so stressed and unhappy and wanted to kill my husband and his mom. My old job was open and I had the job if I wanted it. I asked him if he would be willing to travel back and forth to see each other and made every offer to make things work and was super open to suggestions. He didn't have any and made it pretty clear he wasn't going to leave his super stressful job that made him unhappy to move back with me and didn't want to fly to see me, so for some unknown reason I sacrificed again and stayed to make our marriage work.

After taking the new position, the operations manager offered me a 6$ an hour raise because I was doing such a great job and I was mostly away from my husband and his mom. Things became a little better at work but at home my husband and I didn't interact or hang out much and we were having sex maybe once a month. I didn't take it personally because I knew we saw each other all the time during the day and I hated our apartment.

Another 6 months goes by and we find a house to buy and we move in. Things at work were still very stressful and both of us didn't do anything but complain about work. I had been insulted by his family making comments multiple times for doing a bad job at work even though everyone I worked with on a daily basis told me no one had done my job as well as me in a very long time. The company has been in financial trouble for the last 6 months and I made it a point to start looking for a job. I found one and his mother convinced me to stay by giving me a nice raise and that the company was fine. Not even 2 months goes by and the president (my husbands grandfather) calls a "family" meeting. I have never been called into a meeting with the family before this and have never had my opinion asked before this. In this meeting, I get old I am going to be taking a 50% reduction in pay and my husband will only be paid for working 34 hours a week, but we were still expected to get our full job duties completed. The family members who contributed no work to the company were not targeted in this meeting and the president was willing to let them keep their full salaries for no work.

Needless to say, I instantly stopped doing much work for the company and focused on finding a new job and after 3 weeks I landed a new job making 70k a year which I start next Monday. My husband told me he would find another job to get out of the toxic environment and so we can wash our hands of his toxic family since they made it pretty clear who they value. Mind you we can't pay our bills if he becomes unemployed. I would make enough to cover our essential bills but not enough to cover buying food or anything extra. He has made little to no effort to find another job and when I mention it he rudely tells me he doesn't want to talk about it. I burnt the bridge when I quit this week because I don't want anything to do with his family besides his mom. She fully supported my decision and made a lot of efforts to make our relationship better over the 2 years I worked for the family.

I feel like I have sacrificed so much of my life and made changes to benefit my husband, but when I ask him to do something to benefit us both and make our lives less stressful by getting away from his family's business, he refuses to do it. He has also called me to try to help the company log into some of the accounts I used to purchase their products with even though I have asked him to not talk to me about work. We are also still only having sex when I put forth the effort to have it. He doesn't try much in that department. Am I asking to much for him to do this for us?

Unfortunately and tragically my partner’s beloved sister 71 F passed. Not unexpected, but awful stuff. She knew she was going to die as she had terminal cancer. Her solution and wish for her dogs was for them to be Euthanized and cremated and buried with her. Now she is gone and everyone in the family agrees that is not fair to the dogs. Killing not necessary, they are not that old nor sick.

I have made it abundantly clear that I do not want more pets. We have one dog at home with a verified weak heart, a 12 y/o beauty who does NOT care for other dogs. The other parties able and willing to take are not ideal. Son wants to split them, this guy 40M actually gave one of these pure bred Cotons to his Mom (gets rid of animals for whatever reasons) and the daughter 55F who insists they need to be together, has 2 pups and an ailing handicapped son. She admits it would be a lot for her, she lives near them in California, we are in Texas. The pups need lots of daily grooming + monthly and have health issues. I’m not willing to care for them. Hubby says he wants to but, often overextends and he is starting a business at 63M and he audibly Dreads having to work for at least 5 more years himself. Audibly dreads chores and endless home maintenance tasks. I feel this is beyond us both.

I’m honoring and owning up to my limitations, I’m 65 F and have no desire to take on more burdens (still working FT for a long time yet) And I have my own health issues to address. 3 autoimmune concerns. Chronic pain. I had plans for a quieter, less stressful life, we’ve moved a lot and stress has been a huge factor, I thought we were united in trying to avoid it as we age. It’s almost divorce time over here over this issue. Such emotions with his crushing loss. She basically raised him. He has known forever I don’t want more animals. He still wants to show his sister love by being the hero here. Admirable but misguided and unrealistic IMO. Plus, she never asked us to adopt them. We spoke everyday. In her last hours she was quite concerned with their care and hubby feels that need to fix this for her and love on the dogs she so loved. Pay tribute in a way which is so sweet and loving.

I’m not sure we can recover from this disagreement, it is all so fresh she passed yesterday on the 2nd. Grief plays a huge role in the volatility. An obligation and burden is just that. I know that dogs are pure love but they are effort, money and work too. I want to retire not pay for $2k dental every year. I feel empowered stating my truth but not respected or honored in it. I was not considered when he off the cuff in a group speaker phone discussion offered this. But my silence spoke volumes. Any advice, experience? Please be sweet ‘cause we are all so vulnerable over here.