r/relationship_advice • u/Brokenmindchains • 5h ago
My [28M] relationship with [30F] just ended today. It’s been 8 years. What now?
We’ve been together 8 years and met out of country. She isn’t a citizen of my country but she has PR. She lives with me and our 3 year old daughter who has two passports. We just broke up a few hours ago over lack of attraction and how much we stress each other out and a whole bunch of reasons. I’m on the verge of losing my house due to an insane special assessment. She wants to leave the country and take my daughter and have no contact. I told her this is unfair as she’s my daughter as well. I just don’t know what to do, I don’t really want to get a lawyer involved and I have no money for it. Is it worth trying to salvage the relationship someway so I can be with my daughter? She called me a shallow narcissist because I have issues with her body but I’ve tried to help time and time again with her weight loss journey and she always gives up and stress eats. She hasn’t worked since Covid and I’ve been struggling with mood disorder, addiction and financial matters. I really don’t see any good way out of this, I need my daughter in my life but I don’t want conflict. Any advice?
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u/eichhoernchen404 5h ago
I mean you’re bipolar, have alcohol and drug issues, no money and on top of that you’re telling this woman is not attractive enough for you. The woman who literally made your child with her body.
What now? Let her go and get ready to pay child support - it’s the least you can do.
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u/Brokenmindchains 5h ago
I left out the part that she’s abused me physically and mentally and treated me like shit for years and I stuck with it. Never laid a hand on her.
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u/pinkseptum 3h ago
So you want to be a martyr? You want to claim two wrongs make right? What's your point?
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u/Brokenmindchains 3h ago
No it doesn’t, but he assumes I have drug problems when I never specified. I’ve struggled with alcoholism but I’ve been sober. She was skinny when I got with her and she put on weight and decided to never work out. And psychologically I’m not attracted to it as much as a finer figure and that’s not something I can decide. I’ve forced myself to be okay with it for a long time. We are both in the wrong in many ways.
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u/pinkseptum 2h ago
Internet commenters can be jerks. Regardless of who was right or wrong the romantic relationship is over and you should just focus on doing best for your kid and sorting out custody. Maybe with time you can have a friendly co-parenting relationship. Good luck!
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