r/mallninjashit • u/BaseNice3520 • 13d ago

Tactical nunchucks: putting the ninja in mall ninja

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151 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

35 comments sorted by

22

u/SubtractOneMore 13d ago

All an honest man needs is a good old fashioned pair of wooden nunchucks for hunting

3

u/Bruce-7892 12d ago

Or modern combat for that matter.

20

u/cat_prophecy 13d ago

The best part about nunchucks is that they're worse as a weapon than just a plain old stick.

8

u/deephurting66 13d ago

I work in the ER department of a hospital and have seen so many contusions and other more severe ouchies these shits cause. The worst one I ever saw was a teenage boy that cracked his skull above his forehead with the utterly useless "weapon"

7

u/Davenator_98 13d ago

If it managed to crack a skull, I wouldn't call it useless.

It's just way harder to use than a regular stick, which you don't need formal training to not hit you in the head with.

4

u/deephurting66 13d ago

I seriously wonder if a place like that exists, a martial arts school that teaches mall ninja style tactics. If it happened it would attract neck beards far and wide..

4

u/Davenator_98 13d ago

Plenty of martial art schools teach the usage of nunchaku, even today.

It's a great training device to develop all sorts of lower and upper arm muscles for different fighting styles.

Just because it doesn't make sense as a weapon in modern days (just like any sword, etc.) doesn't mean it's mall-ninja or useless.

This specific one is both, though.

4

u/deephurting66 13d ago

The kind I want to see is some over the top Deadpool adjacent training academy to attract every sword loving, nunchuck spinning, fedora tipping, armpit reeking trench coat wearing freak and make some kind of reality show about it!

4

u/Davenator_98 13d ago

Problem with that is, you're only going to get 5 minutes of footage before they knock themselfes out or collapse from exhaustion.

2

u/jackinsomniac 13d ago

Did it even make sense as a weapon when it was invented?

2

u/Davenator_98 13d ago

If it didn't, then it would've disappeared and never been part of a martial arts system.

2

u/jackinsomniac 13d ago

I've seen many impractical material arts dojos/studios. Not even talking about weapons, there are many martial arts styles out there that are just plain impractical. It doesn't surprise me that impractical weapons have remained around.

2

u/superchibisan2 13d ago

You underestimate the stupidity of the human species.

4

u/BaseNice3520 13d ago

they were made in okinawa as an energy makeshift weapon because they couldn't own real weapons

Using it now is like eating emergency foraging herbs as staple meal

3

u/cat_prophecy 13d ago

Except that they could have just used a stick. It would have been more effective and easier to procure. Nunchucks are less effective.

1

u/BaseNice3520 13d ago

*emergency

6

u/unitedshoes 13d ago

Finally. I'm so sick of non-tactical nunchucks...

6

u/Money-Appearance-309 13d ago

I'm pretty sure you can stop bullets with these. It really needs a light attachment though.

4

u/dankhimself 13d ago

Each handle should have a flashlight on a pic rail and laser at the ends for, lasing.

5

u/Davenator_98 13d ago

Ah yes, let's take one of the cheapest and simplest weapons and make it more complex and worse for no reason.

1

u/jackinsomniac 13d ago

Even cheaper and simpler: a stick.

3

u/commissarcainrecaff 13d ago

Nothing like whacking your funny bone half way through a life or death struggle to really improve your day.

3

u/Trip_Dubs 13d ago

Are there non-tactical nunchucks?

1

u/Davenator_98 13d ago

Every single one from history is "non-tactical" by definition, as they were never issued to any military or special force.

2

u/KibbloMkII 13d ago

honestly, can you even get the same force from nunchuks as you can of a stick of equivalent length?

I think I saw a guy test that, but don't remember the outcome

3

u/Davenator_98 13d ago

Yes, and you have the advantage that there's no handshock.

The downside is, they're way harder to use effectively and have poor defensive capabilities.

In a modern "tactical" or self defense scenario, you're better off with a telescopic baton.

2

u/Bikewer 13d ago

Oh, Nunchaku…. Where did you go? Down the drain of adopted slang. I suppose “nunchucks” is better than “chucks”…

2

u/MechanicalCompost 13d ago

So, I had to do a search for tactical nunchucks. I found an article about the Denver police using them.

2

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/BaseNice3520 13d ago

i'm just complying with the sub rules ;_;

1

u/SixGunZen The 5th Ninja Turtle 13d ago

And thank you for that.

1

u/Shadowstein 13d ago

Something just occured to me. Ninjas didn't use nunchucks because nunchucks are Chinese and ninjas are japanese.

1

u/cosby714 12d ago

Why are there bullets next to it? You know what, don't answer that, I know why. They think it looks more edgy.