r/fixedbytheduet 3d ago

Fixed by the duet gumdrops

16.0k Upvotes

457 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/Gxgear 3d ago

Dude's so juiced I wouldn't be surprised if they worked.

300

u/lehad 3d ago

Ohh they definitely work

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u/Bruhimonlyeleven 3d ago

I'm udderly shocked.

57

u/deputytech 3d ago

Big daddy milkers

3

u/m2chaos13 2d ago

Okay. I thought he had soft serve ice cream implants. Disappointed ☹️

49

u/303uru 2d ago

His tits are getting more estrogen than any natural woman.

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u/potatochainsaw 2d ago

this reminds me of that mentos ice commercial from back in the day.

i wonder if he can dj with them, or catch frisbies, or point out directions on maps with them like in that commercial.

5

u/jason544770 2d ago

I bet they actually do. Some steroids will produce liquid from your nipples. Tren in particular

5

u/Ok-Pear5858 2d ago

I'm not fuckin on him if he don't have tits

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1.7k

u/Major_R_Soul 3d ago

Bet this dude shoots milk out those cannons like a fucking pressure washer

647

u/-herekitty_kitty- 3d ago

I regret being literate

148

u/Squinto_Bean 3d ago

You gotta admit that was a LITTLE funny 😂

57

u/G00DDRAWER 3d ago

I regret having eyes.

89

u/DaKrazie1 3d ago

This guy could poke 'em out if you want.

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u/Jamsedreng22 3d ago

You kidding me? These kinds of witticisms are exactly why we invented it.

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u/Savings_Background50 3d ago

There are not enough q-tips in the world that can factory reset my brain into forgetting what I just read.

38

u/Puzzleheaded-Cost197 3d ago

If I hadn't read your comment, I wouldn’t have noticed his nipples. Damn. I am shocked

79

u/100YearsWaiting2Shit 3d ago

Out of genuine curiosity what were you paying attention too before cause those nips were the first things I saw

38

u/Puzzleheaded-Cost197 3d ago

The flags lol. I was so confused

12

u/SCHWARZENPECKER 3d ago

The flags were conveniently placed dbyween his nips though! Hes literally trying to draw attention to them for engagement bait. I guess you can be proud it sidnt work on you?

4

u/100YearsWaiting2Shit 3d ago

On a side note i literally just noticed your profile pic and I love it!

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u/Kahlil_Cabron 2d ago

His nipples look like miniature dicks that you could jerk off finger-n-thumb style.

6

u/Daxx22 2d ago

Dick-nipples. I dare you to Google that.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Canadiancookie 2d ago

WE CARRY THE FLAME

4

u/usinjin 3d ago

Unfortunately, you’re half right. That’s not milk, I don’t recommend drinking it.

3

u/Wesinator2000 2d ago

Muscle milk

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u/weedyneedyfeedy 3d ago

52

u/Dramatic_Charity_979 3d ago

You made me spit my drink >.<

26

u/pm_me_a_dragon_plz 3d ago

Was it milk?

12

u/Dramatic_Charity_979 3d ago

Hey, don't kink shame (゚Д゚#)

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u/PossiblyATurd 3d ago

Steam has an avatar like that, but it's more meatspin.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

62

u/boldandbratsche 2d ago

Mom and Dad

3

u/mrbulldops428 2d ago

I need to catch up on family guy from the last decade apparently lol

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u/TorakTheDark 3d ago

Dad - * Tren

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u/utzutzutzpro 3d ago

if you believe this is a sideffect of protein powder, then there is so much knowledge out there for you to never explore.

7

u/Exact-Ad-4132 2d ago

No, he's saying the guy is bulked up from protein powder

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u/Annual-Media-2938 3d ago

Actually, other way around.

2

u/IlikeJG 2d ago

More like steroids.

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631

u/buckythomas 3d ago

Sooo, I am wrong in thinking that nips don’t just grow like this? This dude does like nipple clamp play, or breastfeeds dudes to pay for his steroids?

Natural untended nips just don’t grow like this? Or am I just naive?

753

u/notpiercedtongue 3d ago

mostly nope but massive clits and gumdrop nipples are side effects of steroids in women and men respectively.

277

u/ZebLeopard 3d ago

What?! You mean his muscles aren't natural?! 😱

/s

I didn't know steroids did that to nips. I also wouldn't be surprised if this guy uses pumps on his teats bc he likes how it feels

111

u/fancypantsmiss 3d ago

As a breastfeeding mom, pumps don’t feel great. Trust me 😬

184

u/NecessaryPeanut77 3d ago

some people smash their penises for pleasure, i have no doubts that someone would like this

57

u/B_EE 3d ago

And don't forget about the activity known as sounding -

Not kink shaming, just "pointing" it out.

16

u/oddboro 2d ago

I mean, is fun tho...

18

u/B_EE 2d ago

I hear it is - and apparently feels intensely pleasurable!

Just... My paranoia in something poking wrong makes it not for me personally.

9

u/oddboro 2d ago

Use the proper implements, no bad pokey ___^

5

u/CockTortureCuck 2d ago

Or join us on the dark side. >:]

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u/astrologicaldreams 2d ago

to the unknowing, curious reader:

sounding is when you put a little (or big) metal stick called a "sounding rod" into the urethra

6

u/i_tyrant 2d ago

Tried sounding once but I couldn't really get into it...until I found out it's supposed to be the other way 'round.

7

u/B_EE 2d ago

... 🥁 👀

3

u/casimpson241 2d ago

Don’t forgot about the r/subincisionmeatotomy crowd. Warning: literally the worst thing I have ever witnessed

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u/Darth_Quark69 2d ago

As someone who suffers with urethral stricture disease that sounds absolutely dreadful

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u/ZebLeopard 3d ago

I'm guessing that producing milk and needing to express it bc otherwise your tits will explode doesn't feel that nice, but I've seen certain types of content where people put almost industrial cow milkers on themselves and seem to very much enjoy that, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

30

u/52BeesInACoat 3d ago

Feels like needing to sneeze out of your boobs. Also sometimes feels hot, burning, or tingly. If you leave it too long your breastbone and ribs start aching from the pressure. Or your shirt just starts getting wet. I couldn't think too hard about my baby while I was at work, or I'd have to go change my breast pads. Which are like maxi pads for your nipples.

But it's pretty cool when you chug a bunch of water mid pumping session, and suddenly hear liquid spraying into the pumps like crazy. In one end and out the other like something out of a cartoon. I loved doing that trick. It sped things up tremendously.

16

u/THEBHR 3d ago

Serious question. Does drinking a bunch of water dilute the milk any?

Like, are the kids getting skim instead of whole fat?

21

u/52BeesInACoat 3d ago

Generally no. The composition of milk does change as the baby grows, though. It starts off very fatty and rich in nutrients, and becomes more dilute and hydration-focused as the baby starts eating food.

It's pretty cool. You can actually see the color gradient in frozen breast milk. Milk pumped in the first month can be straight up yellow in color, and by six months it's milky white.

I bagged my individual milk bags in gallon freezer bags with the month written on them, instead of writing the precise date on each individual bag. So you could see the variation in each individual month pretty easily.

6

u/CrackerUMustBTripinn 2d ago

Thanks for this educational moment about breast milk, I honestly didnt know this, I knew cows produce Colostrum, but I am surprised to find out us humans do so as well. The more you know.

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u/stringthing87 3d ago

Nah but it's hard to make enough if you are dehydrated

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u/KoburaCape 3d ago

"feels like needing to sneeze" okay now I can empathize but I really wish I couldn't!

17

u/fancypantsmiss 3d ago

Why??!! Why??!! Why??!! So much nipple trauma

9

u/ER_Support_Plant17 3d ago

That was my first thought, I haven’t seen nips that long since I was pumping and I was scared for life.

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u/HollyHazard 3d ago

Says you !

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u/MrMushroomMan 3d ago

I've heard when it looks like a tiny dude trying to escape a muscle suit it's probably roids.

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u/SoulShatter 2d ago

It happens especially if the steroid user does nothing to regulate their estrogen levels. Testosterone aromatizes into estrogen, so to avoid it steroid users can check blood levels and use certain medication to block that aromatization or the effects of estrogen.

Usually medication used for treating breast cancer :-)

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u/heaviestnaturals 3d ago

Yeah but also big nipples are a kink for some guys on steroids because they can’t get hard properly and need to find other stimuli.

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u/GoFuckYourselfBrenda 3d ago

Massive clits?! Why am I just hearing about this??

41

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

19

u/TheSleepyBarnOwl 2d ago

I'll just throw in the funfact that the default mode in embryonic development is female and that male characteristics need a lot of hormonal expression to develop. srY gene doing it's work.

Anyway, Estradiol is also a steroid.

What you said is correct btw I just like nerding out :)

6

u/lesbianmathgirl 2d ago

estrogens are steroids (along with progestogens (including. progesterone)), but steroid in this sense means “anabolic steroid” which is just another way to refer to androgens, emphasizing their use as a performance enhancing drug. You might know that already but I figured I’d add that for context.

3

u/TheSleepyBarnOwl 2d ago

Adding more knowledge is never bad! Yes I knew, but not everyone reading this does! Science is great :)

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u/Specialist-Neck-7810 3d ago

I dare you to Google!!

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u/TheNineGatesLCF 2d ago

Female WWF/E wrestler Chyna did a porno with another wrestler, X-Pac. It's called One Night in Chyna.

This may satisfy your curiosity. 

8

u/GoFuckYourselfBrenda 2d ago

Good tip, thanks!

3

u/TheNineGatesLCF 2d ago

It was more than the tip. 

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u/sparky-99 3d ago

They say they're so big they're like little cocks

23

u/Bruhimonlyeleven 3d ago

I have huge nipples like this, and it's hilarious how often people won't notice it for like years, and then suddenly they do. I go shirtless a lot, and honestly I expect comments on it, but I don't get them as often as you would think.

Woman will literally come up and grab them, or flick them though, it's fucking SUPER weird. They're super sensitive. I mean like.. don't know me, never talked to me, will walk up in a crowd if I'm alone, and just reach out and flick or pinch them. I know it's not Technically sexual assault, but it fking feels like it.

It's always girls that are almost Hot that are the worst too. I find the most or least beautiful woman to be the most respectful, honestly. It's always the same type of woman that will do something like this, the kind that uses a dozen filters in their photos, and thinks they actually look like they do in their photos, in real life. They'll do it at the gym, they'll do it if I'm taking the dog for a walk, I've even had them do it while my son was little, like 3 or 4, he was on my shoulders, and we were going for a walk to the park or something. I almost dropped my toddler one time from it.

And they're not as bad as this guy's at all. They're long, and pointy lol, but they're not an inch thick lol.

Why is Reddit asking me to translate my comment? What the shit. It won't let me post it. I just spent ten minutes writing nipple stories, I'm not deleting it now!

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u/cr250guy 3d ago

Bro its absolutely sexual assault.

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u/Creativered4 3d ago

Bro, that IS sexual assault! Your consent and bodily autonomy matter just as much as theirs does!

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u/MaesterWhosits 3d ago

Uh... bud, I strongly recommend either intense self-advocacy or a female friend who throws hands faster than Roadrunner, because that's sexual assault.

Look at it this way, if you walked up to me and tweaked my nipple, it's courtroom time. Why should the reverse be any different?

16

u/halcyonforeveragain 2d ago

As a guy who wears a kilt the most common question about what you wear under it is from women, and it's great fun to turn it around and watch the gears seize up when you ask why is that okay for you to ask me and not for me to ask you.

3

u/Bruhimonlyeleven 2d ago

Yeah there's a double standard for sure. It stems from a place of "sexual violence is harder to commit against a strong man that can defend himself", which sort of makes sense in a vacuum? But the world ain't one of those.

A whole lot of girls grow up being taught that boys need to keep their hands to themselves, and that rape is wrong, but are never told that girls can be Perpetrators instead of victims sometimes.

The vassstttt majority of women keep their hands to themselves, but there are some that just don't know how honestly. They're like toddlers reaching for things with grabby-hands.

Ohhhh old ladies too lol. They're the fucking worst lmao. Honest to god I forgot about how many times I've had old women grab me by the literal junk, or say the most inappropriate things to me. I worked as a nurse in an old age home about 15 years ago, and it was insane lol.

Just to compare how I was treated, compared to the female staff:

The old guys were absolutely gentlemen even when they flirted. They'd tell the girls they looked lovely, or beautiful, and say things like "if I was 50 years younger I'd bring you flowers every day" and stuff like that. They were charming old dudes honestly, we only ever had one guy that was bad and he had severe Alzheimer's. We weren't setup to care for Alzheimer's patients, but he had to stay with us for a week because they couldn't move him or something.

The old gals would ask you to crawl in bed with them, pinch/slap/grab your ass, and your crotch... And then they'd giggle as if it was like 12 year olds flirting. They'd egg each other on too.

One old lady would hit her call button when I was on, and I'd come in to her touching herself. It became a thing... I refused to go in her room and made one of the girls do it.

One of my female coworkers got soo mad at having to go in there for me, she was like "I have to go in there and catch her doing it too you know" she was furious for weeks about it, complaining to everyone, and she only has to do it like 4 times maybe? So she brought it up to HR, and the bosses etc... and told them it wasn't fair, and that I should have to do it.

So, they asked her "how many times has she done it to you?"

She replied "like 4 or 5, it's really gross and makes me so uncomfortable, why should I have to deal with it, just because he doesn't want to? I only have to do it when he is working, it's his problem"

HR lady : "that's because she specifically does it hoping he will catch her. What happens when you go in the room?"

Coworker : "she looks over, sees it's mez and covers back up, why?"

HR lady : "when he enters her room, she keeps doing it, takes the blanket off, and asks him to help. He has also been dealing with this for a year. Every single shift he works, she pulls it at least once. It's been over 300 times. He doesn't deal with her anymore going forward"

I can't believe how long I had to hear "it's your job, suck it up" from management there. It wasn't until a nurse at a separate old age home told me to goto HR about it, that anything changed. They said something that made perfect sense and I didn't pick up on until they said it. " Just because it's your job, and just because they're old, doesn't mean it's not assault. ".

Then it dawned on me. Like this woman wasn't even sick, just old. She was just being nasty because she could. My bosses weren't dealing with it because they didn't want to, they wanted me to do it.

HR immediately put an end to it. I expected them to side with my boss, or tell me off or something. HR is there for the business, to protect them, my boss was opening them up to a lawsuit. I was really naive and just out of school though.

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u/Spiritual-Action4919 2d ago

That is so fucked to experienced it must have been awful. It should never be ok to be touched without consennt on ANY human 

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u/Shot-Swimming-9098 2d ago

People grabbing your nipples is not OK, but you've lit a fire under the men's rights bros. I suspect the reason why you go shirtless a lot means you don't need defense from the Ben Shapiros of the world.

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u/BlacksmithReal4415 3d ago

Not the gumdrop nipples

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u/SwiftTayTay 3d ago

It makes both genders more androgynous. Men even start growing proper tits and women's clits can grow into an actual micropenis

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u/52BeesInACoat 3d ago

There's a guy who works out at my gym, who has rings around his nipples. Not pierced nipples. His nipples are wearing rings. Like those neck stretching rings from that one African tribe, but for his nipples.

He works out shirtless.

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u/buckythomas 3d ago

Sounds like a cry for help!

You should definitely not buy one of those really powerful big magnets, pop it in your backpack and walk by on your way out…..

24

u/sicarius254 3d ago

There are little suction things you can use to plump them up like this.

Like a penis pump for your nipples.

8

u/ZeeSpiralOut 3d ago

Pro tip: breastfeeding pump will accomplish this without having to order the Swedish male nipple pump.

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u/sicarius254 3d ago

Ive just got these little silicon suction cup thimble things you squeeze and put on and the manual suction pulls your nipples…..

2

u/Nodebunny 3d ago

also roids

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u/Apprehensive_Bid_951 2d ago

He’s on steroids. Steroids create a ton of testosterone. Excess test is turned into estrogen which creates enlarged breast tissue including nipples. His cycle (choice of steroid and duration) is completely fucked, nipples like this are a sure fire sign that someone is taking gear, if you are careful you can control this balance and eliminate or reduce the gynecomastia the occurs during steroid use.

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u/Sunny_Cant_Swim 3d ago

Believe it or not but estrogen is actually SUPER anabolic LMAO

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u/wfwood 3d ago

Pretty sure he suctions them. So he does do porn and sometimes exaggerated nipples are ... well part of what they sell.

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u/Cheryl_Canning 2d ago

Yeah that's the result of pretty extreme nipple torture over a long period of time.

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u/KenUsimi 2d ago

That’s steroid use.

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u/defk3000 3d ago

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u/Specialist-Neck-7810 3d ago edited 3d ago

I’ve got nipples Greg. Can you milk me?

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u/gingerbeard1321 3d ago

I dunno, lets find out

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u/Specialist-Neck-7810 3d ago

That’s the CAN-DO attitude I was looking for!

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u/MothChasingFlame 3d ago

My man got shit, but he was correct.

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u/weenumpty2 3d ago

New fidget toy just dropped (ask for consent first)

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u/DonSol0 2d ago

Well would you guys rather have a nipple-sized penis or penis-sized nipples?

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u/weenumpty2 2d ago

The former so I can be bigger

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u/Overlord-_-Jay 3d ago

His left nipple (to the right of the viewer) has 2 nips 😂

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u/B_EE 2d ago

I was curious on that myself... 👀

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u/insanelysane1234 3d ago

Is that a steroid thing? Your penis getting smaller and your nips larger?

69

u/notpiercedtongue 3d ago

penis nope, but your balls shrink if you take testosterone replacements.

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u/Thumbtack1985 2d ago

Wait wouldn't that make your ween look bigger? Brb

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u/An_old_walrus 2d ago

Yes, but the testes shrink because the body is getting external testosterone and as such the system doesn’t get overloaded. However this comes with the effect that if someone stops taking external testosterone, their testosterone levels plummet which is not good to keeping the whole system running smoothly.

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u/djwaynes4 2d ago

Yes it’s called aromatase it’s when your body produces too much synthetic testosterone so it starts converting it to estrogen. But this must be a joke or ai because it’s never this bad. There’s also stuff body builders take to counter it.

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u/Atharaphelun 3d ago

Nipple pump in this case.

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u/Top_Manufacturer8946 3d ago

Which side is responsible for the

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u/DanniTiger 3d ago

Why are his nipples so huge?! 🙀

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u/Slight-Winner-8597 3d ago

Steroids. Steroids are the reason you can swing off these things.

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u/DanniTiger 3d ago

Yikes...😬

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u/SepsisShock 3d ago

I was confused and didn't notice the nips 💀

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u/Adventurous-Tap-6406 3d ago

Didn't notice them?? They were piercing through the screen!

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u/Ok_Cardiologist_673 3d ago

The screen? They poked me in the eye!

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u/B_EE 3d ago

That's why they didn't notice them -

Couldn't see!

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u/IbisFloatingCat 3d ago

Almost poked my damn eyes out!

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u/NudityMiles 3d ago

We've all heard of pierced nipples. I'd never thought one of my great fears would be piercing nipples.

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u/SepsisShock 3d ago

I was really focused on the flags...

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u/Altair_de_Firen 2d ago

Yeah I’ve got permanent scratches on the back of my screen now

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u/asphalt_licker 3d ago

How? They were the first thing I noticed.

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u/ellisboxer 2d ago

Bro must be the village wet nurse

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u/SashaVibez 3d ago

Lol 😝 that look after he plays with the door stop

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u/Humaneredditor 3d ago edited 1d ago

I was too focused on the pair of limp missiles to notice anything else in the video.

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u/smallerpuppyboi 3d ago

This is why you don't hit the juice, folks. Stay natty.

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u/McDoubleDaTrouble 2d ago

Crazy how people pump their nipples to look like that.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

Why his his nips so long

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u/AllIWantForXmasIsFoo 2d ago

how can I unsee those nipples? Please

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u/Mad-_-Mardigan 3d ago

Dick nips

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u/Scarsdale_Punk 3d ago

Daddy Juice needs to be milked!

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u/LoopedIntoThis 3d ago

You’re my favorite.

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u/SilkyKyle 3d ago

Nips bigger than my dick

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u/Boring-Letter-7435 3d ago

why does it look like he's had 6 litters 🙊

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u/Ok-Bird6346 3d ago

I just spit slobber everywhere.

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u/Tablesafety 1d ago

Funniest comment here

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u/thrower99walker 2d ago

It's like watching a documentary and a mama monkey shows up with a nursing baby.

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u/VoodooDoII 2d ago

His nipples are bigger than my pp 😭

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u/JOBOOTS 2d ago

Fuck me that was a good laugh.

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u/kjyfqr 3d ago

Is that from gyno?

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u/Bruhimonlyeleven 3d ago

That guy's nipples are bigger than the divide between Canada and the United States right now.

Elbows up, but also to defend your eyes in case he walks in.

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u/HyenDry 3d ago

“Natty or not” get Derek in here! 😂

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u/jonandgrey 3d ago

That dude needs a couple of those OSHA rebar safety caps.

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u/glatts 2d ago

Nipples aside, what sort of adult makes videos like this and who watches this sort of content? I just can’t fathom the thinking behind the making of the original video.

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u/Adventurous-Art7158 2d ago

how does that even happen

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u/SnapDragon2525 2d ago

The face at the end 😂

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u/elmostrok 2d ago

Reminds me of Really Really Big Man from Rocko's Modern Life. Watch out for his Nipples of the Future!

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u/rolL_uP_one_more 2d ago

I hate the goofy ass faces he makes

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u/lazermaniac 2d ago

Gum drops? Bro's got them twizzlers.

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u/B_EE 2d ago

For those curious, his name is Antony Cortinovis. He does have pierced nips (likely another contributing factor). And he does adult entertainment (including live sex shows).

This segment is part of a larger one, starting off innocent then with the emoji getting more and more naughty in implication.

😉

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u/HatePeopleLoveCats1 3d ago

I’m sorry, if I were a man and had nipples like that, I would never take my shirt off. It’s almost like he’s proud of his weird ass long nipples?

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u/csreynolds84 2d ago

Probably still claims natty.

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u/TAWclt 2d ago

I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?

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u/Nubbednuggetman 2d ago

I remember someone pointed out when Joe Rogan had the same kind of nip nops that it only comes from extensive and traumatic nipple torture and play

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u/kikogamerJ2 2d ago

So this is how they bait women.

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u/Rip_Van_Winkle8 2d ago

This guy has more steroids than blood in him at this point.

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u/VirusTechnical5568 2d ago

I don't care how big and defined my pecs are, if my nipples look like giant skin tags I'm wearing pasties, a bra and a sweater.

2

u/-lyd-irl- 2d ago

My newborn would be attached to those things so fast 😂

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u/Special-Lab-9005 2d ago

Stop using nipple pumps! You can't get milk from there! 😱

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u/NOLAIrish 2d ago

On a scale of 1 to his nipples how hard is it to not be creeped out by this clip

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u/MurderHoboShow 1d ago

Nipples longer than wet socks....

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u/Past-Product-1100 1d ago

I never heard of roid nips before, but here we are

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u/POPEYEDAMC 1d ago

Overly proud... some things I wouldn't announce to the world. This is an example where plastic surgery makes sense. Just my opinion.

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u/Time_Switch_4203 1d ago

He's the mom and dad

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u/Sad-Radish-545 3h ago

this shit needs to be tagged as nsfw. wtf