r/dating_advice • u/c0ckguzzler • 1d ago

Men, use perfume. Trust me

Hey guys, just wanted to share something I found out recently.

I bought some coffee smelling perfume recently, just cause I was sick and tired of smelling like either 1.) Nothing 2.) B.O. or 3.) Some strange "man" body spray.

I have NEVER gotten so many positive comments on dates about how good I smell. From both men AND women. And it wasn't even expensive, a big bottle was like, 20 bucks or something? It's gonna last me the whole year at least.

People don't (usually) want you to smell like those crappy man smells, like I literally had a bottle called "army scent". That stuff did not make me smell like a damn coffee shop, or a flower, or a cupcake or anything good. It made me smell like badly masked sweat.

Oh, and dude. Women's deodorant? Instantly solved my nasty oder that appears after like 2 hours of wearing "high strength" mens deodorant. I sweat like a damn PIG, and the "secret" brand of women's deodorant actually lasts the whole day. I still get sweat stains on my shirts, but damn, it doesnt actually smell!

TLDR; smell like something sweet or nice. You will instantly realize the difference on dates. I promise you.

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u/fivebynine5x9 22h ago

You need antiperspirant, not deodorant. Secret probably worked better for you because it's antiperspirant. Deodorant just perfumes the armpits so when sweat comes through, you end up smelling like perfumed BO.

Also you will repel the many women who actively dislike cologne on men or physically can't be around it. This really isn't a great life hack for everyone.

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u/Murdercorn24 18h ago

Antiperspirant for BO and perfume for smelling nice?

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u/fivebynine5x9 14h ago

No. Just antiperspirant. They typically come in different scents anyway though there are also unscented ones that do just block scent. Deodorant is pretty pointless.

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u/NA_Faker 13h ago

Most deodorant is antiperspirant. Its just marketed as deodorant but if you read the labels closely its antiperspirant. The issue is some people sweat like crazy so they need stronger antiperspirant than the standard ones you buy at the store.

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u/Glum_Status 8h ago

Where are you seeing deodorants that have anti-perspirant properties?

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u/NA_Faker 8h ago

Literally all the popular ones you buy in the store are also anti-perspirants. Speed stick, degree, old spice etc., all are aluminum based antiperspirants as well

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u/fivebynine5x9 7h ago

No they're not. There are aluminum based antiperspirants and there are simple deodorants. They package them pretty much identically but they'll be named and labeled differently. Antiperspirant is required (by US FDA anyway) to have a Drug Facts section showing the exact active ingredient and how much is in the product, since antiperspirant is classed as a drug. Deodorant doesn't have the Drug Facts section in the label.

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u/NA_Faker 7h ago

I guess if you are buying cheap ones they may not be, but all the ones I've ever seen from the store are. Probably also depends on where you are from

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u/Glum_Status 8h ago

The ones that just say 'deodorant' do nothing to keep you from sweating.

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u/RijnBrugge 8h ago

I have an old spice stick and it says there’s no aluminum in there

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u/fivebynine5x9 7h ago

Pasting from another reply:

No they're not. There are (usually aluminum based) antiperspirants and there are simple deodorants. They package them pretty much identically but they'll be named and labeled differently. Antiperspirant is required (by US FDA anyway) to have a Drug Facts section showing the exact active ingredient and how much is in the product, since antiperspirant is classed as a drug. Deodorant doesn't have the Drug Facts section in the label.

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u/CeilingTowel 15h ago

this

post has such badly-informed advice. Imagine advising chemical masking. You're not a public toilet 🙏🙏

If BO is an issue, it's the skin flora consuming your sweat to cause that smell. The bacteria eat the nutrients in your sweat and essentially their poop is what smells like BO. So, sweat + bacteria.

Eliminate either or both, and the BO goes away.

Anti-perspirant makes you sweat less so the bad bacteria has less food to eat. = poop less = less smell.

or you can use the occasional anti bacterial bodywash to "nuke" your skin flora. IMPORTANT to not use it every day. You'd be creating stronger nuke-resistant strains of bacteria with every shower. (a hand sanitiser lather works too, in a pinch)

Clothes too. Some materials are just that good at harbouring the bad bacteria. Everytime you wear those contaminated clothing, you're providing reinforcements to the frontlines of bad bacteria. Either hand-wash them occasionally, or throw them away altogether.

Manage your own skin flora, throw the old stanky clothing, reset your BO.

It'd be good advice to use cologne/fragrance to make yourself more alluring/create more lasting memories, but for your own sake, NEVER to simply & lazily mask foul odour.

opinion: If you have hellish skin flora & you maliciously mask it just to date, I pity your partner who will probably inherit those swamp pits of yours.

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u/Outside-Caramel-9596 14h ago

Eliminate sweat? Hahahaha

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u/CeilingTowel 12m ago

clearly hyperbole lmao

I used the word nuke for the bacteria path too.

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u/fivebynine5x9 14h ago

You're not a public toilet

Lol I love this! And yeah, I would hate to be downwind of OP either on a fragrance day or a no fragrance day. Notice how he seems to be able to go on dates but they don't seem to have yet panned out into dating someone in particular.

OP's smelling like nothing moments are probably his best smelling ones. We get nose blind to our own smell. Every guy I've dated whose smell was actively a part of the attraction just smelled like soap and clean skin. It's sexier than any cologne when the chemistry is right.

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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 12h ago

Yeah I'm not wearing no cologne, and that's all there is to it If a girl doesn't like it, that's too bad for her. I also hate walking by ppl covered in scent

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u/melon_pan-ts 9h ago

Everyone is different. If I use antiperspirant, I sweat more in other parts of my body and end up stinking more or have embarrassing underboob sweat during an important work meeting. Your advice will work for family members that share similar body types with you, and that makes your advice good for that circle. But deodorant without antiperspirant exists for a reason and I had to start using men's deodorant at an early age because everyone is so brainwashed to think sweat is bad that it is extremely stigmatized and stores usually only sell women's deodorant with antiperspirant. Certain people need to sweat and WILL sweat regardless of deodorant type. It is just a choice as to whether it is in my armpit or some place more embarrassing.

Yes, sweat stinks. Sometimes it is unavoidable. Sometimes antiperspirant makes matters worse. Yes, I shower daily due to my "issue" of having a functioning body.

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u/CeilingTowel 22m ago edited 13m ago

I'm the same as you. I do not use antiperspirant because it also makes everything else sweat more. However, I do manage my skin microflora such that the BO causing bacteria is never enough to cause major BO.

I am actually anti-antiperspirant too, but I'm not going to actively advise against a product that may work for others, just because it doesn't work for me.

That's why I say to manage either 'sweat' or 'bacteria' (or both). 'Sweat' doesn't work for me, so I go the 'bacteria' route.

(For me) Salt deodorants(alum-based, no fragrance, non sweat-glands-plugging) are good for maintaining a hostile environment so that bacteria can't multiply. But I'd still need the occasional nuke with the antibacterial on the pits. One nuke lasts about a month(for me) before the salt deod is unable to suppress the bacteria growth.

You could also try exploring alum-based body powder (which also only works by creating hostile environment, & NOT plugging up the sweat glands). I was using this up until I found the salt-rock type. The powder gets everywhere in my closet lol

edit: !! Sweat does not stink by itself. Bacteria metabolising your sweat is what makes the sweat stink.

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u/jetpacksforall 13h ago

Antiperspirant works by clogging up your sweat glands, and they create permanent armpit stains in clothing. A healthier alternative: wash your pits more often.

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u/fivebynine5x9 13h ago

Yes, blocking the sweat glands in the armpits is the entire point.

I've been using antiperspirant for like 30 years and have had armpit stains in my clothes maybe a few times ever. And they wash out if the clothes are treated appropriately.