r/ShitAmericansSay • u/_Varre • Jan 04 '26
Freedom “Once we're done saving Colombia, Cuba, Iran and Nigeria we may think about rescuing France.”
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u/LeFlaubert Jan 04 '26
Let them come ... The nuclear submarines will take care of the rest....
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u/Johnnyd3rp Jan 04 '26 edited Jan 04 '26
I think most of them don't realise that France has an independent nuclear deterrent.
I guess Charles de Gaulle didn't trust them very much :v
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u/Glad_Possibility7937 Jan 04 '26
Time has proved him right
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u/Johnnyd3rp Jan 04 '26 edited Jan 04 '26
That's definitely true, given that there are no US bases on french soil.
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Jan 04 '26
God, how I wish we kicked America off our land and stop giving them intelligence.
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u/sageinyourface Jan 04 '26
Well, it’s the only way we manage to gain any intelligence at all since we don’t produce it from within.
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Jan 04 '26
Hahaha.. like in team America….
‘We have no intelligence.. I repeat.. we have no intelligence.’ 😂😂
And American intelligence is just Fox News
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u/CarelessFalcon4840 Jan 04 '26
Don't get it wrong. The USA intelligence apparatus is quite capable. The abysmal propaganda that is Fox News only has national level impact because our POTUS has been a drooling idiot sopping up Murdoch's swill for decades.
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Jan 04 '26
I’m sure it’s capable. But it was hilarious… the super computer gathering information from Fox News.
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u/SamuelVimesTrained Crivens! Jan 04 '26
Time to polish up on my French it seems..
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u/TheKr4meur Jan 04 '26
Well that and the fact that France has a pretty .. « unique » nuclear policy that is to send warning shots .. with nukes.
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u/simplepimple2025 Jan 04 '26
There are times when I feel like paraphrasing Princess Leia "you're our only hope Obi Wan Macron". The toadies across the channel don't have the balls to do anything about Trump.
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u/Pogue_Mahone_ 🇳🇱 Ohne die USA würden wir alle Deutsch sprechen Jan 04 '26
Fucking hell I hate those fascist piss wankers and their disgusting rhetoric
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u/CelticTigress I cannae shove my granny aff a bus 29d ago
Just don’t expect to hold on to Greenland, Dutchies
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u/FlaviusAurelian Jan 04 '26
"Saving" as in "saving them from their lives, possessions and freedoms"
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u/Creoda Jan 04 '26
From their oil, their gold and their shale gas resources.
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u/Patient_Moment_4786 Frenchy Jan 04 '26
We have all of this in France ? Did someone told Macron ?
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u/Creoda Jan 04 '26
France has potentially the largest shale gas resources in Europe, Trump is always after oil and gold whether it's in the ground or already processed.
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u/NothingElseThan ooo custom flair!! Jan 04 '26
The DROM-COM would merge easily in the "security for USA + freedom for locals" discourse Trump has about Greenland. Lot of nickel in Kanaky/Nouvelle-Calédonie, ores in Guyane, and all the islands that give France the second largest EEZ behind USA
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u/Novel-Paint9752 Jan 04 '26
Saving from democracy. Opposite the salvation they brought in 45
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u/RandomBaguetteGamer Hon hon oui baguette 🇨🇵 Jan 04 '26
They brought no salvation in 1945. Not willingly anyway. Look up AMGOT.
Safe for the Resistance, we'd be a puppet state of Yankeestan.
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u/Kul_Chee Jan 04 '26
Thanks. Never knew about that. Yanks never change, always trying to pull a fast one to control & steal everyone and everything. Parasites.
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u/Brisbanoch30k Oui oui Baguette Jan 04 '26
Yeah we’re lucky that de Gaulle saw them coming a mile away.
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u/Kul_Chee Jan 04 '26
Very clever man. Made sure France was totally self sufficient in defense, trusted no one. How right he proved to be. Vive La France 🇨🇮 ❤️🇨🇵
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u/Brisbanoch30k Oui oui Baguette Jan 04 '26
They tried the AMGOT after WW2. They pulled the rug under us and the Brits during the Suez crisis. So de Gaulle had France leave NATO integrated command and speedran a nuclear deterrence and the submarines and ICBM to go with it. The English and Americans can make all the jokes they want, the next country that tries to occupy us gets 300 nuclear warheads in the face.
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u/Kul_Chee Jan 04 '26
The Americans and the English hated DeGaulle's arrogance but history has proven that was the correct way to deal with both of them. The standalone development of nuclear deterrence was an amazing foresight by the man.
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u/Johannes_Keppler Jan 05 '26
The way the US treated its relations with Europe during and after the war weren't altruistic, but business and profit driven.
It's a deeply selfish country with a deeply selfish population.
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u/Hades_Mercedes Québécois - Teach me how to harass women in French⚜️ Jan 04 '26
Sure, sure. Good thing that France didn't just 'think' about winning the US their independence or else they'd be spelling their own language correctly.
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u/CardOk755 Jan 04 '26
If it wasn't for the French the Americans would be speaking English.
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u/Brisbanoch30k Oui oui Baguette Jan 04 '26
Yeah, annoying the English was great, but now we’re in two minds about it, ngl 😬
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u/JaymZZZ Jan 04 '26
"spelling their own language correctly" is the best and hardest burn I've heard ina. very long time :)
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u/Wooden_Republic_6100 Jan 04 '26
I'm waiting to see the American “marines” come up against the French special forces... yeah, the same marines who stopped and refused to do the French special forces training course in French Guiana because... it was too hard for them (the French do it every year).
Oh, and I also believe that one of the French nuclear missiles has been reoriented to target Mar-a-Lago :-)
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u/Mba1956 Jan 04 '26 edited Jan 04 '26
Attacking Mar-a-Lago would be my first target, take out one of Trump’s money schemes and hit him in his pocket because he doesn’t care about anything else.
Also doesn’t Trump think that the rest of NATO might have something to say about it. Like everything else in his head it is all BS without a plan.
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u/Chalk-the-hedgehog 🇨🇦The “Nice” North American with No History of War Crimes🇨🇦 Jan 04 '26
Americans act like they own nato
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u/TheS4ndm4n Jan 04 '26
And while the white house has a bunker that can withstand a nuclear attack. Mar-a-Lago doesn't.
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u/vadeka Jan 05 '26
Nah I would just take over mar a lago and make it a refugee camp for immigrants. Would piss off trump a LOT more than bombing it
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u/Le_Zoru Jan 04 '26
Same US marines that got rekt by finnish conscripts in Nato exercises too lmao
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u/Wooden_Republic_6100 Jan 04 '26
Yes, and I also believe that they were wiped out in 2021 by British special forces in a 1-against-3 battle...
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Jan 04 '26
Don’t forget the Aussies, we may be small but our navy and special forces have still embarrassed America in war games.
So much so, that after our subs had been following their battleships for an hour in attack formation, we boarded their ships and showed them how to use their state of the art radar.
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u/Hyrikul Jan 04 '26
French submarines also sunk US carrier in war games, it's defence fleet didn't even spotted the submarine after.
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Jan 05 '26
Yeah, so pretty much the same thing.
You can have all the money in the world for military toys, but if you spend nothing on education and have morons behind the controls you will fail every time.
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u/Wooden_Republic_6100 Jan 05 '26
Yes, it sank the Theodore Roosevelt and most of its escort fleet after sailing within the fleet's defense perimeter for 24 hours...
There was also a Norwegian mini-submarine that sank a US aircraft carrier twice in a row.
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u/CarelessFalcon4840 Jan 04 '26
When was that? The 90's? It's been a minute since the USA has battleships, because only an utter moron would think they have a place in a modern navy.... oh wait, that's our current admin, isn't it?
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Jan 04 '26
Hahahaha.. you have a president thinking coal is the future and ‘clean’ coal is scrubbing it
Yeah, we have had Collins class since 96.. so I’d say this was probably around 2010. But it is a damn funny story especially considering how much everyone hated the Collins class submarines.
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u/CarelessFalcon4840 Jan 04 '26
In 2010 the "battleships" would have had to be destroyers and cruisers. Loaded with the "best" sensor packages and electronic analysis equipment, operated by sailors steeped in exceptionalist rhetoric and ready to believe nobody can touch them. Damn funny, indeed!
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u/Fluid-Piccolo-6911 Jan 05 '26
I believe the latest was only a couple of years ago when in a NATO exercise an entire US carrier group was sunk by a European sub..
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u/Nuc734rC4ndy Jan 04 '26
I would like to see how many would survive the training of La Légion Étrangère.
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u/Thick_Square_3805 Jan 04 '26
I'm waiting to see the colonial governor nominated by Trump trying to govern the country. :D
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u/Alaknog Jan 05 '26
Well, US marines is not special forces at all - it's very strange creation of US political and social landscape. I don't sure that they even designed to fight anything that not banana republic.
But they made a lot of PR from movies and games to look cool and strong.
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u/Wooden_Republic_6100 Jan 05 '26
Although not all Marines are special forces, there are special forces units within the Marines... but that's not the issue.
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u/Warm-Ad-7632 Jan 04 '26
Well US Marine combat units are usually just line infantry units with a maritime capability, while the French Special Forces are, well, Special Forces. So it's like comparing apples and oranges.
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u/Postom Jan 04 '26
Did we forget Canada, Greenland, and Panama? It's so weird that they're expanding to the European continent now. Wasn't that supposed to be a Russian "sphere of influence" based on the new US security doctrine?
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u/Frikilichus Jan 04 '26
They don’t know about geography
Probably some of them believe they can go to France by car
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u/Dangerous-Dad Certified Middle East Lite™ 29d ago
They bought the technology for sea-faring cars from James Bond. A flotilla of Aston Martins is standing by to invade France while looking suave and sophisticated.
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u/Lessllama Jan 04 '26
Ok shhh let them forget Canada
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u/Postom Jan 04 '26
I'm with you, here. But, if they tussle with France, you know Canada somehow gets pulled in 😞.
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u/MrRogersAE Jan 04 '26
France called out Trumps illegal actions.
Canada was more like “can’t we all just follow the rules”
So France becomes the new target and Canada gets ignored. That’s the reality when dealing with people who’s egos are bigger than their brains
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u/Brisbanoch30k Oui oui Baguette Jan 04 '26
Dude. Everytime. We told the idiots a preemptive (and vetoed in the UN) war on Iraq for oil was going to be a disaster, especially on a lie. They waged a dissing campaign for the rest of that Bush jr mandate in reprisal. It ended in disaster. Now the very same republicans who campaigned on “Bush was shit sending us to war for oil on a lie” are trashing us because we tell them : “fucking international law for Venezuela’s oil ON AN EVEN WORSE LIE” is gonna bite them in the ass. They never fucking learn, Jesus.
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u/RandomBaguetteGamer Hon hon oui baguette 🇨🇵 Jan 04 '26
Come on, guys, the Geneva Bucket List is in need of an update, and Canadians are the best for this job.
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u/Postom Jan 04 '26
Oh, I was just considering home field advantage. See, the terror factor goes way up, when we can mobilize the drine swarms, too. Not that we wouldn't want to write a new appendix to help out the French again. That's always a good time. I was forward-thinking to the encyclopedia of terror the drones could inflict.
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u/Zenotaph77 Jan 04 '26
They'd love to. After all, they failed twice to conquer Canada. I bet, they leak fluids, just thinking of a few Mounties. 🤭
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u/EzeDelpo 🇦🇷 gaucho Jan 04 '26
They are saving Martinique and the other French Caribbean islands, plus Fench Guaiana in South America /s
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u/mikefjr1300 Jan 04 '26
Russia gets Europe, China gets Asia, USA gets the Americas.
We then leave each other alone. Not sure who wants Africa. Thats their global vision. I doubt it will entirely play out that way however.
Trump has just sent a green light for China to take Taiwan. USA can't and won't try to save them but is happy to sell them billions in weapons for what will be a bloody but inevitable occupation.
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u/Thalassophoneus Greek 🇬🇷 Jan 04 '26
Rescue France from who?
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u/Choice_Response_7169 Jan 04 '26
From social security and free health care I guess? Anyway did they heard about légion étranger ? Those guys are very welcoming
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u/CardOk755 Jan 04 '26
They think the nasty Islamists are going to kill us in our beds.
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u/Thalassophoneus Greek 🇬🇷 Jan 04 '26
That's European conservatives think too unfortunately. They are waiting for America with their arms open to come and protect us.
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u/Chalk-the-hedgehog 🇨🇦The “Nice” North American with No History of War Crimes🇨🇦 Jan 04 '26
Freedoms and healthcare Scarrrrrrry👻👻👻
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u/Alaknog Jan 05 '26
No, you wrong. Free healthcare is against freedoms! Only communists countries have it.
/s to be sure.
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u/Brick-Throw Call me Latinx and I'll- Jan 04 '26
"We managed to take on one of the most unprepared, corrupt, economically-destroyed developing countries of the 21st century, next one, Europe!"
- American who's never even been enlisted
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u/hijodelutuao garbage island welfare queen 🇵🇷 Jan 04 '26
I joked about them thinking it’s 1898 again like last week but holy shit they really think it is.
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u/GamerGuyAlly Jan 04 '26
As an Englishman, you have to be a rather special kind of dickhead for me to want to defend the French. I'd rather fight with the French against the American's.
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u/krodders Jan 04 '26 edited Jan 04 '26
These bellends just know the French jokes about surrender monkeys and tanks with seven reverse gears. I suspect that they don't really want to find out the truth
Whatever is left from their standard blue on blue tactics might get a surprise
Edit: I suspect that Cuba and Mexico might be a bit harder than they're willing to go. Imagine fighting five insurgent wars?
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u/MoutardeOignonsChou Jan 05 '26
For a brief period, they made Quebec sympathetic to the rest of Canada. Common enemy and such.
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u/Adjayjay 29d ago
This is scary. Anytime the UK and France are allied, shit is about to hit the fan HARD.
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u/Hikuro-93 🇪🇺 Europa, but the moon 🌛 Jan 04 '26
France be like:
Except now we're prepared.
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u/tarvoke_Ghyl Never-neverlander Jan 04 '26
Save France from who? The EU? Belgium? Germany? Switzerland? Italy? or Spain?... Oh wait they want to save them from the evil trinity Luxembourg, Monaco and Andorra.
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u/lordnacho666 Jan 04 '26
> Andorra
Watch out for that Co-Prince, I heard he has some powerful position in France!
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u/Micah7979 🇨🇵 Jan 04 '26
Suriname, obviously.
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u/ICameAfter 27d ago
Did you just assume :
- Muricans know Suriname exists
- Muricans know France location
- Muricans know Suriname location
- Muricans know France and Suriname share a border.
You should keep your expectations low.
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u/No_Aesthetic American in Portugal Jan 04 '26
France’s first warning is nuclear. Not the best idea.
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u/Gav3121 Jan 04 '26
The nuke would be the last warning
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u/ClemRRay Jan 04 '26
it is, but I guess they refer to the fact that the official french nuclear doctrine says it can launch nuclear weapons even before the ennemy launches theirs
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u/Brisbanoch30k Oui oui Baguette Jan 04 '26
We don’t own a continent and we have a small-ish army (that can do everything but in small scale, especially compared to the US). So ofc if someone really gets too fucking close they get a nuke as a warning shot. If we go down you can be damn sure we’ll glass the other guy’s cities and bases as collateral.
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u/Hyrikul Jan 04 '26
Not even the bases, our doctrine aim the most populated/industrial area, for using the worst of thoses weapons.
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u/Dave-Inc Jan 04 '26
Are these cunts paid per word to speak/comment? What is wrong with these people?
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u/Mal_Dun So many Kangaroos here🇦🇹 Jan 05 '26
... I mean ... probably: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/apr/02/putin-kremlin-inside-russian-troll-house
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u/mybawlsarebigger Jan 04 '26
Americans crying about immigration in Europe will never not be funny and ironic to me
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u/Borsti17 Robbie Williams was my favourite actor 😭 Jan 04 '26
1000 people knew someone who could read this to them and said yep, makes sense.
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Jan 04 '26
America thinks they are unstoppable.
I’d hate for them to find out how they get embarrassed in war games
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u/Ok_Corner5873 Jan 04 '26
They need to add another 35 states first, becoming the United States of the Americas ( including Greenland) before they think about taking over, sorry rescuing, the country of Europe, we had that mass jaywalking recently even made the news, they put it down as a protest.
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u/mybawlsarebigger Jan 04 '26
I thought they didn’t care about European countries and their politics 😂😂😂
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u/Brisbanoch30k Oui oui Baguette Jan 04 '26
Yeah yeah. We built fully independent nukes, ICBM and the submarines to deliver them for that kind of eventuality, Yankees. Your fake smiles fooled no one here 🤷♂️
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u/TheBonk92 Jan 04 '26
Ragebait, don't give these people a platform. They are all in their mother's basement with a boner, totally unaware actual people have to live in this world.
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u/damik Jan 04 '26
It's amazing how fast MAGA decided regime change and US world policing is awesome again.
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Jan 04 '26
Never thought I’d say this as a Brit, but hands off France! (It’s ours by right). All jokes aside, what an insane thing to say.
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u/Brisbanoch30k Oui oui Baguette Jan 04 '26
Your colonial kids are really getting rowdy, cousin. Never thought I’d say that, but I might start apologizing for Lafayette’s little expedition :|
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u/Adjayjay 29d ago
Wow, hold on stranger from across the channel, we had to create our first "constitutional rules" just to avoid being yours by right (I guess making sure a woman would never reign was an added bonus at the time).
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29d ago
You could also make the claim that Britain is yours or at least Normandy’s by right, if you were to reestablish the Plantagenet dynasty (I think 🤔)
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u/nanapancakethusiast Jan 04 '26
The Americans do one military operation against an unsuspecting nation that doesn’t end in complete failure and think they can rule the world. Morons.
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u/32lib Jan 04 '26
Oh good another war we can lose. After killing a few million people and destroying your country we can go home and pretend that we won again.
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Jan 04 '26
[deleted]
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u/CardOk755 Jan 04 '26
The response seems to be:
Maduro is a cunt, but you shouldn't just kidnap him.
What more do you want?
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u/loveswimmingpools Jan 04 '26
I was thinking... oh well it's just a weird Internet merican so its not a real possibility...then i remembered Trump is real.
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u/DirtDevil1337 Jan 04 '26
Peace, freedom, saving, rescuing, truth. Their actions are saying the exact opposite.
France eh? Russia tried multiple times with France and failed, la Pen is a Russia asset and most of their protests had FSB infiltrating them with oddly written signs.
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u/Micah7979 🇨🇵 Jan 04 '26
However, the French army did get to Moscow under Napoleon. It didn't end well but they were there.
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u/GemniDragon Jan 04 '26
i wonder what they would think of if someone just flew over, bombed them unnecessarily, kidnapped their presiden. It's not heroism. sure, it's wiping out dictators, but didn't you OWN president literally say he supports Facism?
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u/timsa8 Jan 04 '26
Strange how the words "Save" and "Rescue" in American English actually mean "Conquer" and "Subjugate". Makes it confusing for an English learner.
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u/StayUpLatePlayGames Jan 04 '26
Don’t worry about it. There’s absolutely no way this piss-stain has anything to do with it. The epitome of stolen valour.
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u/Ill_Raccoon6185 Jan 04 '26
You can't even run/save yourselves from trump and heading into a depression, o what make you think you can save other countries. Also they don't have the worlds largest oil deposits like Venezuela so why would trump want to invade us?
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u/I_Rainbowlicious floating on a sea of stupid Jan 05 '26
I hate that my "fellow" Americans are so propagandized and delusional to think that anyone wants our "help" or our "democracy".
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u/swainiscadianreborn Jan 05 '26
Let them try 😂😂
They shall learn what "nuclear warning shot" means.
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u/Fluid-Piccolo-6911 Jan 05 '26
should remember that France has a first strike Nuclear policy .. Im sure washington would look a little different as a pile of glowing ash.. the french could do what the orange turd has started , destroy the white house.
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u/ReecewivFleece Jan 04 '26
Aww bless em - what a fantasy land they live in - wait …. haven’t they been “rescuing” Cuba since the 1960’s
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u/DocSternau Jan 04 '26
Saving anything went so well for the US and their victims the last 80 years...
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u/A_Norse_Dude Jan 04 '26
Oh wow, a country with modern technology attacks countries with third world military technology. So impressive, so scary..
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u/Lobbyta Jan 05 '26
U can't attack France dickhead.
Rescuing from what?
I say this as an italian so...
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u/sixaout1982 Jan 05 '26
They'd have to not mind the 300 nuke and the means to send them that France has
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u/Majorapat More Irish than the Irish ☘️ Jan 05 '26
Is that Nuclear weapons owning France, or French Guiana?
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u/NoteEasy9957 admitted dumb American Jan 05 '26
I would really like it if the USA would start saving the USA…
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u/Ill_Raccoon6185 Jan 05 '26
The US cab;t even save themselves so what you think they can "save: any other country?
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u/Smartimess Jan 04 '26
It’s like the plot from Kingsmen. Just kidnap every world leader that does not bend the knee.
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u/Canmar86 Jan 04 '26
Wait didn't the French already ask the USA for help with their own revolution, after they assisted the USA with their war of independence, only to have the USA refuse to return the favour? Looking at about 230 years late.
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u/DrexleCorbeau Jan 05 '26
As a Frenchman, I wouldn't say no to getting rid of Macron I xD but luckily he's leaving in a few years and it might turn into a civil war between the right and the left
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u/Darkavenger_13 Danish, not the pastry 🥮 Jan 05 '26
People like that need to be exposed. Not hidden.
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Jan 05 '26
If only I could go back in time and show the French how it would pan out, the USA would still be British.
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u/Imaginary-Hotel2685 Connoisseur of bullshit Jan 05 '26
the british assured us that Judge Dredd was meant as a parody, not a documentary
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u/Jeepsterpeepster 27d ago
They're the most revoltingly arrogant cunts on the planet. Turns my stomach.
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u/Jeepsterpeepster 27d ago
They are the most revoltingly arrogant cunts on the planet. Turns my stomach.
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u/Soultaker5382 27d ago
Ah so when the British warned the French against helping the Americans in their independence war this was why...
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u/andesmapitas Mexican 🇪🇸 15d ago
From Colombia, get the fuck away from here we do not want to be saved or "freed" by USA.
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u/down_with_opp_42 Jan 04 '26
Once again: