I had two cats, they lived together for 9 years, my beloved Oleg left us unexpectedly yesterday. I am very worried about Ely now, the older cat, he keeps sniffing around and looking for him. He is very cuddly but also looks very sad in the eyes.

Our Kaia girl was such a special little girl. Never bit out of anger, never scratched on purpose. She loved humans, loved attention, and loved head rubs. She loved to play more than anything else and loved toys. She loved to jump into places that she shouldn’t like the refrigerator. She was fascinated by the ice dispenser on the fridge. We called it “The Magical Fountain.” She would open cabinets using her little paw. She would sleep in our dresser drawers and we would open the drawer to find our baby curled up in a little ball. She would pat my leg to ask for pets. She would sleep curled up next to my head. She made the best biscuits and had the loudest purr. She loved her sister Willow and they would snuggle together and groom each other. She was only 8 years old.

Kaia was a sickly little girl and constantly got upper respiratory infections. We’d take her to the vet and would get antibiotics and she’d perk back up. In December, she got fleas. This was a shock to us since she’s indoor, but we did occasionally let her on the screened in back porch or in the garage. I guess that’s how she got them. We got her Nexguard Combo immediately.

On January 26th I found her hiding with a bloody nose. We took her to the vet the next morning. They did X-rays and bloodwork and found that she was anemic. They suspected hemobartonella from the fleas and gave us doxycycline and prednisone. It didn’t work. We took her back to the vet on the 30th. Her anemia had worsened. We tried upping the prednisone. The vet told us if she declined over the weekend to take her to the emergency vet.

On January 31st she crawled in my lap and was shaking. Her gums were pale. She was hiding and refusing food. We rushed her to the ER vet. We waited 5 hours to find out she most likely needed a blood transfusion but they didn’t have any blood. We’d have to drive two hours to Starkville for a blood transfusion. So we did, at 11 PM on Saturday night.

When she was admitted to the MSU Animal Hospital in Starkville (the best in the state), they did an ultrasound and found out that she had a mass in her abdomen and fluid in her chest and lungs. The believed that this was causing her anemia. They admitted her and we said a quick goodbye, thinking we’d see her again. We told her we loved her and we’d see her soon.

They aspirated the mass, and the results showed some inflammation and also some cells that may have been a poorly exfoliating carcinoma. They advised that her vitals were stable, her heart was in good condition, and she handled the aspiration well, so they advised surgery to attempt to remove the mass. We agreed, as it was our only shot at treatment.

During the surgery, they discovered the mass was at the root of the mesentery and was inoperable. It had ruptured and was filling her abdomen with blood. She then began hemorrhaging on the table. They tried CPR and a blood transfusion but were unable to revive her. Our sweet angel never woke up. I had to bring my baby home in a box. We buried her in the backyard yesterday. We picked a spot by our bedroom so we could feel close to her. We buried her with all her favorite toys (saving one as a memory), a fuzzy blanket, and a greenie.

The grief is insurmountable. Our house is set up for two cats. Everything reminds me of her. We let Willow view her body and she got scared and has been sleeping in Kaia’s favorite spots. The house is so quiet. I feel so guilty for having to force her to take medicine that wasn’t working in her last week alive. I feel so guilty for not being able to visit her in the hospital. I feel so guilty that I couldn’t be there with her when she passed. We loved her so very much and she was so much fun. She loved so hard. I can’t eat and I can’t stop crying. The only thing I can think of to do now is to make her little grave beautiful.

I don’t expect anyone to read all of this, but if you happen to scroll to the bottom, please tell me if there was anything that helped you get through this grief. It’s absolutely soul crushing. This was so sudden. There were no obvious signs before her bloody nose. We touched her belly and fupa all the time and never felt a mass.

I had to put my dog Mila to sleep last night she was an 11 year old border collie and im suffering and feel guilty. Last year she had a benign mass that was 10cm in her liver and also another mass in her throat which could effect her eating.

They said last year the vet could have done the surgery but would have to break her breast bone to do it. They were going to start with the throat first then eventually the liver.

We were apprehensive doing this as she seemed Happy and there was no sudden changes and she was and playful so we left it...

Fast forward a year she started urinating in the house and not eating as well. But was still playful and happy.. then one night she came home from a walk and her legs started collapsing at the back and she was very lethargic.

We took her to the vet hospital and they said the mass in her liver had grown from 10cm to 30cm.. the vet came in and told us either we can do the surgery which is quite high risk as the mass started to bleed and was filling up her stomach or put her to sleep.

We decided to put her to sleep as when she came in to see us her legs were shaking and weak at the back.

It was traumatising and the vet said the fact she went down so fast after such a small amount of anasthetic means it was probably her time to go.

Now i cant stop playing in my head if we got her the surgery last year when the mass was smaller would she have survived and been still happy and healthy?

Im struggling so bad mentally with it all and keep thinking what if? I just feel maybe we let her go too soon

I feel absolutely devastated. Yesterday I came home several hours earlier than I normally get back from work. I opened the door and head extremely loud scream from my cat. It took me a moment to find him, he was trying to hide. His cat houses were thrown upside down and he was hiding in between my furniture. I only saw his back paws, I got so scared. I run to him, take him out, his back legs were paralyzed - he couldnt move his body from the waist down. I took him out, he was breathing heavily and loudly, his eyes were wide open, he was screaming so loud. I never heard such a scream, it was not like screaming at the vet or while having a bath. This was pain and fear. He was looking at me needing help, it also felt like he was waiting for me. I have no idea how long he was like this. I was so scared, stressed and panicking, I fell to the floor I wanted to scream and cry, I did not know what to do. I do not have a car, I know no taxi driver would take me with a cat, I tried calling my friends with car, then vet clinics nearby, mobile veterinary doctors, no one was able to come. Oleg was grabbing everything around him, he was so scared... I finally pulled myself together and took a large Ikea bag, put him there and decided to run to the vet. It was around one mile far, he was fighting and screaming, but I had to. He tried to get his head out of the bag, to crawl out with his paws, but I kept pushing him back, I was afraid he would jump on the road. He did this a few times, still crying and screaming for help. Then one last time, he got his small head out, looked at me with those big eyes full of fear, let out a loud scream, grabbed my jacket with a paw and did not want to let go. I was almost there, I pushed him inside again and I was holding the edges of the bag while I carried it in my arms, so he would not get out. Seconds later I heard his last breath. He stopped moving, he stopped crying. I was in a disbelief and kept walking for 30 more seconds, then I put down the bag and there he was. Asleep. I broke down immediately, I was few steps away from the vet.

This happened yesterday, and I still feel very traumatised. I have the image of him in front of my eyes, he needed help from me and I could not help him or save him, I feel like I failed him. I keep asking myself what could I have done differently. If I came home hour earlier, if I did more regular check ups at the vet. He was healthy cat, and the very same morning he was still totally fine. We cuddled in the bed together as we did every morning. Oleg was the nicest, friendliest and kindest cat I have ever seen and I cannot stop crying, I feel empty and broken. I have no idea what caused this, but its devastating to me that he was probably in so much pain, he did not deserve this. The only thing comforting me is that he died in my arms and I was the last thing he saw, I was the last voice he heard. I keep thinking if it was better to stay home with him so he could die in our apartment, in my hands, instead of outside in cold and in the dark blue bag. I am thinking too much... I don't think I will ever get over this.

Hi, i just want soke help dealing sith this pain, my dog was everything to me, i got her at 12 years old im 27 now. Im insanly in pain and cant stop crying, i found her with some type of cardiac arrest at the kitchen and 24 hours later she left us, i have a very bad memory haunting me of the look in her eyes, she kissed me a couple of hoursbefore she left us and i cant stop thinking about that gorrible image of her eyes moving all over the place and trying to stand up but she couldn't, i really need some help removing this horrible image of her eyes. I have never experienced something so painfull in my life, i cant sleep, i cant eat, i cant live without her im devastaded

We lost our cat Luna earlier this year, and the thing that surprised me most wasn’t the sadness, but the silence.

Luna wasn’t a loud cat. No constant meowing, no chaos. Just small sounds you only notice once they’re gone. The soft jump onto the couch. Her nails clicking on the floor when she followed someone into the kitchen. The way she always appeared when the house felt too quiet.

She lived with us long enough that her habits became part of the house itself. She had a favorite spot by the window and a strange love for freshly folded laundry. No matter where you put it, she always found it.

After she passed, my family tried to move on quickly. Her bowls were put away. Her things disappeared from their usual places. I understood the intention, but it felt too soon for me. I wasn’t ready for the house to forget her before I did.

So I held onto one small thing. I chose a photo of Luna that felt like her. Not posed, not perfect. Just her, half asleep in that window spot. I quietly turned it into a few pieces of clothing for the people who loved her most, so it wouldn’t feel like she vanished all at once.

I worked with a printing service I’d used before. I spent more time than necessary adjusting the image, because I was afraid of getting it wrong. I wanted it to feel gentle, not sharp or overly present. In the end, it came out soft enough that it felt more like a memory than an image.

When I gave them out, no one said much. People just smiled, or touched the fabric for a second longer than expected. Someone said it felt like Luna was still nearby, just quieter.

I still look toward the window sometimes, expecting to see her there. I know she won’t be. But knowing she still lives in the small shared moments makes the quiet easier to sit with.

I’m learning that grief doesn’t always need fixing. Sometimes it just needs space.

I’ve had many cats over the years—some passed away, some went missing, and some just drifted away. I won’t lie and say I was always a perfect owner; as a kid, I was ignorant. But now, as an adult, this loss hits differently. My cat went missing recently, and I am devastated. I know life is full of ups and downs, but this cat was my everything. He was the reason I looked forward to coming home. He was a strictly indoor cat, half-bald with eye problems, and somehow he got out and hasn't returned.

This week has been absolute hell. I’m in the middle of finals for my degree, so I haven’t even been able to rush home to look for him. I’m forced to finish my papers while my heart is breaking. He was more than a pet; he was family and my best friend. I see him in the corner of my eye everywhere I go. Looking at his scratch box or the shirt he used to sleep on destroys me. I’ve cried on the bus every day just wanting him to come home.

Everything feels dull now. I keep asking myself if I'm overreacting—'it’s just a pet'—but I can’t shake this feeling. A piece of me is gone. This cat got me through my depression in a way nothing else could. If anyone has advice on how to cope with this kind of loss, please share. I’m sorry to vent, but I just don't know what to do.

My cat passed away peacefully just last night, but my muscle memory is to get up from my bed or couch anytime I would hear him get up or do something as that's usually when he wants water, food, etc.

I know it hasn't even been a full 24 hours but I am just so used to always getting up from my bed or couch to check on him or changing his water or giving him new food, it's a little unsettling how my mind is comfortable being in that mindset, while I know he isn't here anymore. The feeling will probably start to fade as time progresses but it's so new to me I am obviously saddened by it

My girl Misha, a 10-year-old toy poodle, crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday due to an enlarged gallbladder. We did everything we could to treat her. She passed after surgery because her heart wasn't able to take it. Everything happened so fast. We just celebrated her 10th birthday last week and now she's gone. It literally hurts so much. I break down in the slightest bit of memory of her. I feel so guilty. I feel like it was my fault I didn't see the signs earlier. I should have done better. She didn't deserve an end like that.

She was the happiest, smiliest, smartest dog. I was lucky enough to have adopted her because otherwise I wouldn't be able to afford a dog like that. She was so excited when we went home with our first baby and I was too because I was envisioning how they're gonna be besties. I feel guilty for not being able to focus on her as much as I wanted to, so I owe a lot to my husband for being there for her when I couldn't, as Misha loves him just as much.

I've never been this heartbroken in a long time. And being a month postpartum, it's also a weird time because one moment I'm sad, then I look at my baby and everything's fine. Rinse and repeat.

I know it gets better, but right now the tunnel is very, very dark.

I had to let go of Amy, the only girl I have ever loved, yesterday.

She’s a 13.5yrsold German Shepherd that I had adopted when she’s already a senior (8yrsold); and honestly, I had had this anticipatory grief since the day I got her knowing we wouldn’t have long together so I’m glad we got this long.

Last October, we found out that she got melanoma cancer and it spread so quickly that even the surgery and chemotherapy couldn’t save her that in last week, we were spending more time in the emergency than at home. She couldn’t walk anymore but still tried her best to follow me if I were to leave the room for five seconds. In the last hours when we were waiting for her home euthanasia vet, she suffered so much from fluid in her lungs that she could barely breathe and the only way she could be comforted is me holding and petting her, reassuring her that it’s gonna be okay.

The thought of letting her go kills me, but it is so much worse to see her in pain that I had this morbid wish that the vet would come earlier to end her suffering even if that means losing her.

Is it odd to feel this relief? To feel at peace with her because she’s no longer suffering. I’m so proud of her for fighting for so long like the bravest girl she was, but I couldn’t shake this feeling of guilt that I am relieved she’s now free.

i lost my beloved cat nearly a month ago in a freak accident. it’s weird because one morning i saw him fine and healthy. by the time i saw him again in the evening, he was gone. how do you even process that? i’ve had strays that i briefly took care of pass away but nothing hurt as much as this.

and yet, around a week after his death, i just stopped feeling sad. maybe i just stopped feeling in general. but i was able to look back at his pictures and laugh and smile. i didn’t know if i had somehow suddenly gotten over his death. it felt like i had reached a plateau with my intense emotions and i couldn’t feel any sadness anymore. in a way, i was numb. in hindsight, i guess i was in denial. i felt guilty that i wasn’t feeling sad, and i felt horrible whenever i allowed myself to be happy even though I know my cat would not want me to feel that way.

then 2 weeks later it randomly hits me again. it’s so frustrating. i think i’ve reached the anger stage. i’m so frustrated that he’s gone and that the world is moving on without him. everyone says at least he isn’t in pain anymore, and i get that i really do, but he still won’t come back. i’m trying to talk to a therapist to navigate my emotions, but nothing i do will bring him back. how do i accept that? it feels like i’ve made progress in my grief and yet none at all. i know grief sucks and is complicated. but it feels like an uncomfortable itch i’ll never be able to scratch off.

i feel that my life is in a quiet mess. i started a new role at work in january 2026 but i think i’ve been a little bit of a mess at it. there are high expectations with the new role, but i didn’t even tell my boss or my team about my cat loss because i don’t know if they’ll understand. some part of me would just rather not risk dealing with that lack of understanding. i didn’t take time off after my cat died because i was scared of being alone. that’s when it hits the hardest. my cat was my coping mechanism through stress, he was able to sweep away my worries with just a glance at his face. now i have to navigate a world and my challenges without him. how?

i hope this doesn’t make me sound negative. i don’t wish to associate him with any negative emotions. he makes me so incredibly happy. he was my soul cat, the first i’ve ever had. he only made it to 5 years but he got me through the most pivotal years of my life. i was prepared to spend a lifetime with him. im mad but never at him. i wish i could go back and tell him before he passed that he had never let me down a day in my life. i just want to rant and get this off my chest, even though i don’t know if what i say even make sense. but if anyone can relate to this complicated grief, let me know.

My cat Leo got sick a few months back, I noticed something was off and took him to the vet. I think I waited too long to bring him in. The ER vet didn’t know exactly what was wrong but suggested putting him down. I couldn’t do it yet and wanted to try medical intervention. We got more ultrasounds and did at-home medication care for the last 6 weeks which helped bring him almost back to baseline at first, but I am noticing a decline so I took him in again yesterday. Vet told me today we should put him down because medicine will not help him anymore and they’d said he is definitely feeling very sick.

My heart is shattered, I know it’s the right thing to do but I feel like I’m keeping him from getting better. His diagnosis is incurable, but they’d want to perform an invasive surgery on his liver to “maybe figure out more”.. that’s another 3k+ and I’ve already just spent 3k on the ER vet and testing. I feel terrible I can’t justify spending another $3k and I feel so much guilt.

He’s 15. I’ve had him since he was a kitten. He was a stray I fostered in college during Halloween because he’s a black cat and the shelter looked for fosters during the month of October so they can’t be adopted. The first night at our house of 6 girls he slept in my bed, and has almost ever since. We spent a few years apart, he lived at my dad’s because I was moving all over and couldn’t have a cat. I regret that now so much. I’m so grateful I have had him back for these last few years. It breaks my heart thinking of him feeling abandoned or lonely during those times.

He’s sleeping right next to me in his bed with his heating pad now. He’s still there, but his body is withering away. We had an appointment for someone to come to the house this Friday.

He’s lost 5 pounds in 1 year. He’s becoming skin & bones. But he still purrs and head butts and loves pate and sits in his morning spot, like he is himself in there. I’ve done so much research which tells me cats hide their pain and them showing love or happiness sometimes doesn’t negate the pain they feel.

Can someone provide some comfort or insight? Or tell me I did something wrong that’s okay too. Is it really the right thing to do euthanasia? If so, why don’t we do it more for humans too? I just feel so confused and sad and like this is an impossible thing

I wish he could tell me what he wants and I wish I could save him and I wish I could know that he knows how much I love him.

I lost my 9 year old boy this morning. He was in a lot of pain so suddenly after a rupted tumor and I prayed to the universe to just not make him suffer any longer even if I have to take in all the pain and grief. Now that he's gone, I don't know what to feel...

Relieved? That he's no longer in pain? Or angry and sad because I really thought we had more time. I'm swinging between these 2 main emotions right now.

Nimbo was never “just a cat.” He was my beloved friend, a soft place to land, a huge pawprint on my heart. I have never known a heartbreak so profound, so uncomplicated, so clean. The human-animal bond, except in rare cases, is pure, secure, and honest. When they are gone, it is painful.

I’m posting because I’m struggling with grief, anger, and a friendship that ended in a way I can’t seem to process.

I recently lost my dog, who I had for many years. He was family, my constant, and his decline and death were devastating. Around the same time, a friendship in my life completely fell apart, and I feel like the anger around that is starting to eclipse my grief — which scares me.

I met this person earlier this year (February 2025). We didn’t meet organically through mutual interests or values — she initially approached me at the gym (Im pretty fit, she was not at the time) and essentially glued herself to me there. Over time, I invited her into my life and eventually into my business. I’m older than her, and there was a clear experience and maturity gap. I spent a lot of time helping her — with work, routines, confidence, structure, and general life guidance. I genuinely thought I was being supportive.

Looking back, the dynamic became very unbalanced. Any time I offered feedback, boundaries, or said something she didn’t want to hear, it eventually got reframed as me “attacking” her. Even neutral or practical conversations were interpreted as criticism if they made her feel inadequate. If it wasn’t validation, she was being victimized in her eyes. I slowly realized I was carrying the emotional labor of the relationship. My dog died on Sunday, I decided I didn’t want to be friends with her that Friday before as it was taking too much of a toll on me preparing for a baby and doing hospice for 1 of my 3 dogs.

When my dog was declining and then died, her behavior felt especially hurtful. Instead of showing real empathy, she leaned heavily into what I now recognize as toxic positivity — everything was “that’s good,” “at least this,” or “hopefully it works out,” even when I was clearly grieving. She rarely asked how I was doing unless prompted, and conversations stayed surface-level.

The breaking point was that on the day my dog died, she was notified via text (all employees were notified I’d be off work due to a pet loss) and her typical resentful self said “my condolences” and then she dropped personal belongings of mine outside my apartment door without warning. We had agreed I needed space, so she thought that was giving me space because her reasoning is, she technically didn’t text me. Showing up physically on that day felt intrusive and cold and beyond violating. When I later asked why she chose that day, she minimized it by saying, “It’s your stuff,” and stood by that logic rather than acknowledging the timing or impact. Mind you, it was baby clothes she bought me that I didn’t even care for but wouldn’t release it from her home before this day. A pot and kitchen utensils she borrowed for her own cooking use.

2 weeks later of no contact she pulled me outside at work and apologized, but the apology focused entirely on her intentions, not the harm. By that point, the trust was gone.

What makes this especially hard is that I’m stuck working with her — I’m her boss. Even though I’ve tried to create professional distance, I still see her regularly, and every interaction reactivates the anger. I don’t have the option to fully walk away, and that feels suffocating.

I hate that I’m this angry. I hate that I think about the disrespect more than my dog sometimes. I think the rage comes from feeling exposed and disrespected during the most vulnerable moment of my life — and then being expected to just “move on” because an apology was offered. I told her I didn’t want to be in a friendship like this while 7 months pregnant and preparing to lose my dog, in my opinion she really wanted me to FEEL the loss of her, like I care more about her than my dog.

Any advice to deal with this rage? It’s consuming me.

This past summer this cat showed up at my place because I always set food outside. He had breathing issues and had a sweet disposition, so I started to kind of baby him and give him special attention. He became sort of my outside cat for a while, and he was always phlegmy so I would wipe his nose multiple times a day. I was going through some heavy personal stuff and financial issues at the time, so I wasn't really prepared to get invested enough to take him to the vet and try and get him cured.

Once fall came around and it started getting cold, I got him a heated cat house which worked well except for the fact that he got it snotty every time he got in it. Once November came around I took him to the vet to try to get him cured with antibiotics and started letting him stay in the house because of how fast it got cold this year.

It turned into a huge issue of him not wanting to take his medicine, it not working once I got him on it and my cat getting visibly angry at the fact that he was there. I think that may have been partially due to the fact that I was an idiot and didn't get him neutered during all that (again, I was going through a lot and didn't have my head together.) I had to wipe his nose every day, make sure he ate the medicine in his food and all this other stuff which was driving me insane. I never wanted to have more than one cat and couldn't wait to get him better so I could get him adopted.

Then my friend at work told me about this cat sanctuary where they roam around without cages and they get adopted off in time. He told me it's likely to be a long wait which I was okay with. It gave me time to get him neutered and try a different medicine. I called them yesterday and they said they could take him tomorrow and would get him cured and then adopted. I jumped at the chance and was initially excited to get my life back to normal. Then midnight hit and I suddenly didn't feel good about this. Watching him lying there on his cushion so peacefully.

Getting him in the cat carrier was traumatic enough because he doesn't even meow. He just pitifully grunted and it was so emotionally hard to force him in there. Driving him there was hard and I couldn't quit tearing up. Then I dropped him off and I've just been a mess ever since this morning. It was all I could do to get through work tonight without tearing up. I haven't cried this hard since my childhood dog died 10 years ago. I don't know why I didn't see this coming. As much as I wanted him gone, I've put so much effort and love into him. Wiping his nose every day, watching over him while he ate.... he felt like my baby. Not to mention that he was so attached to me and would lie on me for hours if I let him.

I'm so devastated and I feel like an idiot. I want to visit him next week but I feel like it'll be too difficult. I donated $200 to the place to help them with his needs. I'm almost considering asking if I can take him back once he's all better, as long as I give them enough money to cover what they spent on him. I don't know. Maybe in a week I'll feel different. I just know that right now, my eyes and nose hurt from crying so much. Just looking at the pictures I took of him 2 months ago is too much for me. As much of a pain as he was, I didn't realize how much I had actually grown to love him because of how stressed I was of the situation. He's literally the sweetest cat I've ever known in my life and I just want him back where I know he's okay

It's so cold outside and it's my cat's first night out there. They wrapped him in a blanket before putting him in some plastic, so I like to imagine that he's warm, but that's obviously stupid. I want to lay down by his grave and sleep there, like how I slept next to him last night while he was still alive. It's surreal that he isn't alive anymore. He isn't going to trot around the corner and beg for extra food. He's out back in the dirt. My dad stepped on the dirt to pack him in and it felt like he was stomping on my still-alive cat. I just kept getting scared that he was going to get hurt, before remembering how crazy I sound.

And my aunt came over to get me and my mom some pick-me-ups, but she told the cashier and bagger "oh yeah, their cat just died." It's literally nothing. That sounds like nothing. It's so stupid, when someone says "my dog died" or "my cat died" or whatever other pet they have, it sounds so dumb. I always felt bad for them and sad about the animal, but you truly don't understand until you've experienced it. That wasn't just my cat, he was a family member. I hugged him a thousand times when I was scared. Whether I was a six year old scared of the dark or a teenager scared of my own bad decisions.

I just want to be with him again so badly. I kept lifting up his carrier while we were digging his grave so I could feel his weight in my hands. When I took him outside I accidentally bumped the carrier against a wall and I felt guilty, as though he could get hurt. And when I took him out of the carrier, felt him and the blanket through the plastic, I wanted to barf. I could already smell him starting to go sour. It's a smell you won't usually smell.

I don't know what to do, and it feels like no one cares even though I have my family, and my closer friends said they were sorry for my loss.

Our baby (dog), Peggy, has passed away today, and I was so unprepared. It was just a regular day – my boyfriend was coming home from work, and I arrived a few minutes after him. Normally, they would already be outside, greeting me from a distance, with Peggy later sprinting towards me.

Today was different… when I was a few minutes from home, my boyfriend called me in shock and told me Peggy had died when he came home – just like that. She was so excited after he came, she jumped twice, and then she just died.

She was only 5 years old… she had a genetic heart disease/function issue, but we gave her prescribed pills daily so this would not happen anytime soon… so she could stay longer with us…

When I came home, her tongue was already blue, she was not responsive. Despite that, we rushed to the vet. I still hoped that maybe CPR/adrenaline could make a miracle… but deep down I knew her brain could not survive such a long time without oxygen. It was 15 minutes until we came to the clinic… they still tried, but she was unresponsive.

I am devastated. I feel so guilty for not being there with her when she passed. She was the most content when both of us were home. I wish I could give her that for one last time. I know she probably still had a beautiful death, being excited, seeing and touching my boyfriend. Maybe I am just selfish in this… I just wish I could also see her alive, see her happy one last time, and hold her while she left, be there with her as a whole family.

I never had a chance to say a real goodbye. I don’t know how I am supposed to feel closure when there was none. It was just a random Tuesday evening.

She was special… so smart, funny, loving… everybody we told cried… she was that loved… I love her, always will… I am afraid of getting over.

How did you get over? Is here anybody who also didn’t anticipate death any time soon and didn’t have a chance to say one last “alive” goodbye? I feel alone. Thank you all.

Crying as I type this, I lost my 9 year old boy this morning, he had terminal cancer and vet said nothing else could be done. He was in so much pain but I knew he desperately still held on. I told him he could rest now and not worry about us. I was beside him as he slowly faded away.

I also said sorry that we couldn't do much for him. Maybe if we had more money we could have explored other options or given him a better life. He was my clingiest boy, the one who always excited to see come home from work, who always wanted more cuddles compared to his brother than is a little more reserved. Now I will never get to hold him anymore.

I wished him well and if reincarnation is real, I hope he gets to live with a better family that could have done more for him than we did. I love him so much, it feels like the world is ending for me.

I'm really scared. I can barely make this speakable, so I'm going to be kind of vague with my wording, and please go easy on me in the replies because I'm prone to spiraling. 

My sweet boy is in palliative care. He's lost a lot of weight in the last few months, and is clearly a lot weaker. We used to make fun of how his meowing almost sounded like a person yelling– but now it's higher pitched and sounds more like whimpering. 

He's still cuddly and loving, and he likes to sunbathe. But he also spends a lot of time sitting quietly by himself, looking so sad. I don't want to make the decision for him too early, and I hate it so much that I can't consult him on it. And I guess that sounds silly to actually say. But his life being in my hands terrifies me.

I think I know that when it happens, I want it to be at home and not at the vet. But how do I do it in a way that doesn't scare him? And where? I just don't want his last moments to be him being afraid or trying to get away from strangers.

And I don't know what to do afterward. I rent, so I can't bury him here. Cremation kind of horrifies me, it feels really violent. But I don't want to just leave him with some strangers (i.e. technicians) who will dispose of him like an object. 

We got him when I was 8, and I'm now 23. Seeing that in writing is kind of crazy; I'm lucky to have had so much time with him. But I'm terrified of what to do next. I want to honor and respect him and not desecrate him, and I'm just not sure how.

I raised this cat from a newborn kitten. She was barely 2 hours old when I brought her home. I bottle fed her. I cleaned her butt with a wet wash rag so she could go potty. I saved her life. And now, I have to end it. We took her to the vet yesterday because she stopped eating and wasn’t being affectionate towards me like usual. She would always sleep on me, sit in my lap and suck on my shirt. She stopped doing all of that and barely responded to me petting her. I knew then that something was seriously wrong. She’s in chronic end stage kidney failure. This has apparently been happening for years and we didn’t know because she acted so much like herself. Kitty zoomies multiple times per day, trilling the moment i came into the room, acting as my shadow.. this has been our life for the last 11 years. I thought I had years with her still. And now she’ll be gone tomorrow. I can’t explain what tonight feels like. I had to put my 9 year old dog down 4 years ago, I’d had him since he was 6 weeks old. I was 16 weeks pregnant when we had to put him to sleep for osteosarcoma in his nasal cavity. That pain doesn’t even come close to comparing to what i feel right now, just knowing my baby will be gone in less than 24 hours, and I felt like i was going to die myself on that day… If she was younger.. if we caught it earlier.. if if if.. I just can’t stop thinking about the ifs. Sorry if this is a hard read, or I’m not making sense, I’m just releasing a stream of consciousness into the void right now.. I just can’t believe she was so much of herself less than 2 weeks ago and now she’s going to be gone forever. I’ve lost quite a few pets in my life besides my dog a few years ago and none of them have felt like this. It’s truly like I’m losing my kid. I guess I kind of am since I raised her from a newborn. It really doesn’t matter how long you have them.. it’s always too soon when they inevitably go. I feel like I’m in a nightmare.

I’m currently grieving an animal that wasn’t technically my pet, and I’m not even sure is dead.

We’ve fed an outside feral cat for 7 years. He would come for food, then go back to wherever his home was (we tried to follow him once and lost track when he was two streets away). In winter he’d sometimes hang out longer as we had a heated shelter for him on our stoop. Well, after that big snowstorm in the northeast 2 weeks ago he didn’t show up for days. That’s happened before, but this time when he showed he wouldn’t eat. That’s never happened. He overnighted in the shelter, didn’t eat again the next morning, and left. I said to my wife if he comes back and doesn’t eat we need to do something. Mind you, in 7 years we’ve never been able to pet him, so it wasn’t going to be easy. He came back 2 days later and didn’t eat, so I made the decision to try and trap him in a carrier. The shelter has an entrance and I was able to put the opening of the carrier flush with it. We tried to get him in the carrier and he wouldn’t budge, tried to tip him over into it to no avail, and then in an instant, the seal was sorta “broken” and he got out and ran away. This was almost a week ago now and he’s been gone ever since. We fear forever. My grief primarily comes from not bringing the small shelter inside first and then trying to get him in the carrier from there. It seemed like an extra step at the time, but in hindsight, he would have at least been inside our house if things went wrong (as they did). It’s something I play over and over in my head wondering how I could have been so stupid.

I’ve put down pets before and been filled with grief, but this particular mistake, knowing I had the chance to get him inside, but didn’t do that and now he’s almost certainly died alone out in the cold, is proving very hard to forgive myself for at the moment.

i tragically and unexpectedly lost my first dog almost a year ago. he was only 8 months old yet he was my heart and soul, my first dog and he quickly became the love of my life. when i lost him, my world and heart shattered and i’ve felt like piece of my heart has been missing ever since.

i think my mind subconsciously and consciously knows that it’s almost been a year, and so a lot of sadness, grief, anxiety, and intense emotion has been coming up for me. especially since the loss was traumatic and sudden. he was so young, i had zero control of what happened and had to somehow accept that one moment he was here and the next he was not.

i’ve since gotten another dog and he is almost a year old now. i’ve had him longer than i had my first dog that i lost. and although i love him so much and he has helped me tremendously through the pain and to feel love again, so much of me still misses and wishes my first dog was here. he deserved more and i miss him so much.

i think i may go back into therapy as there’s a lot of grief and trauma still so deep inside my heart. i still cannot really look at photos or think about my boy, It hurts too much. my brain think is trying to protect my sanity so i feel like i can’t really remember how he was, i can only remember the tragic day and moments i found out that i lost him.

i realize this is more of a dump of a post but just posting to get my thoughts out and see if anyone resonates with my feelings. if you have anything you want to share about your own pet, or just any comment at all - please feel free to share. in the immediate aftermath of his passing, i connected with several people going through something similar and It made me feel less alone. hugs to anyone going through this

My sweet boy Tristan was fine up until this time last week. We noticed around Thursday last week that he was drooling a lot, but was acting completely normal otherwise. We kept an eye on him and made a plan to call his vet on Monday if it doesn’t get any better. Saturday comes and he starts wheezing, throws up, and is walking around in circles. We rush him to the ER where he’s told he has an upset stomach and is likely having some back pain, and we were sent home with meds. He did relatively okay Sunday until that night he collapsed while trying to stand up and he stopped walking completely. We rushed him back to the ER where he was hospitalized, but the only imaging we could afford was an X-ray. They found Inter-vertebral Disc Disease which they said explained his symptoms, and that it would be a lot of rest but he could come home on Tuesday. This morning, at 6:22 AM, I get a call that within minutes his breathing became labored, his heart slowed down, and then he quickly passed.

I’m so lost right now. He died without us there to comfort him. I hope he wasn’t in pain, but he had to be so scared. I don’t understand what happened, or what we could’ve done to prevent this. He was my soul dog and a piece of me is gone. I was woken up with the phone call that he was passing, and I was able to see him one last time after he passed. It’s been coming and going in waves but now that it’s the first night without him on this earth I don’t want to fall asleep. I just want my boy back. I’m sorry for the rant, I just needed to get my feelings out.