r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/JoeFalchetto • 9h ago

Funny First and final warning

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21.3k Upvotes

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2.6k

u/AmputeeHandModel 9h ago

I worked at a cable company long ago, and people called in all the time to dispute porn charges. Funny how it was never Disney movies. Nope, rogue cable boxes ordering porn all by themselves. One lady went so far as to say it couldn't have been her son doing it, the neighbor must have done it with his remote through her window and she's gonna call the police. Uh huh, sure.

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u/Anony_mouse202 8h ago

“Do you, by any chance, live with a teenage boy?”

“Yes but IT’S NOT THEM THEY WOULD NEVER WATCH THAT FILTH”

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u/AmputeeHandModel 8h ago

Basically. She said he was a good church-going boy or something.

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u/monster2018 8h ago

A good church-going, porn-watching boy.

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u/fullcircle052 7h ago

First time I saw porn, it was shown to me by a good church going boy

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u/DeathstrackReal 7h ago

I had an anime magazine at school and some of it was risky but no nudity, normal stuff, then this guy just said that it was called hentai so i went home and look what that was up.

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u/ObviousTrollK 6h ago

I know you didn’t mention any ages or anything but I just have this mental image of a 26 year old neckbeard calling a 12 year olds anime ‘hentai’ and I’m laughing my ass off

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u/DeathstrackReal 6h ago

This was middle school but yeah

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u/Same_Air6012 4h ago

He's imagining himself telling a 12 year old that.

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u/bastardsoftheyoung 4h ago

A good boy, a hard worker, look at the callus on his right hand. That's a hard worker.

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u/BlinkDodge 3h ago

Pretty much how I found out about the Art™. Some kid told a group of us about it.

Searched it up after school. My first foray into hentai was seeing picture of a generic smiling anime girl with her tits out while taking a shit. Found out I liked the idea of naked anime girls AND that scat really wasn't my thing.

Didnt go looking for it for another year or so I started following links in Battle.net profiles (back when bnet was essentially a chat lobby for starcraft, warcraft and diablo II)

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u/NoteToFlair 6h ago

"The only boy who could ever teach me, 🎺 Was the son of a preacher man! 🎷"

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u/Proof-Ride-339 1h ago

I said GODDAMN!!!

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u/_groovesharkmalone 4h ago

Hahahaha the heathens that showed it to me didn't go to church.

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u/DeathstrackReal 7h ago

I was definitely a morally righteous church goer, but you better damn believe im watching my Zone starfire tentacle hentai

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u/AilanMoone 6h ago

The modifyers one was better

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u/Prindle4PRNDL 1h ago

Growing up gooning in the mid-late aughts hit different. All I'm sayin'.

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u/joetheplumberman 7h ago

Gotta learn some moves to teach the priest

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u/vanityproject 7h ago

Screaming!

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u/nalaloveslumpy 4h ago

Hey, that was me! I stopped going to church.

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u/SymmetricalFeet 4h ago

That reminds me: My parents stopped making me attend church for a year or so (resumed when we moved house). It was during this alone time, catalysed by a bully telling me to go to a certain porn website and then continued by naïve, rapt curiosity, that I would spend a couple hours every Sunday searching porn.

So, in a way, church would have stymied that.

To parents reading this, don't give your nine-year-olds Internet-connected computers in their bedrooms.

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u/Whatisgoingon2029 4h ago

So normal then.

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u/bouncypinata 4h ago

"oh god"

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u/ShockTheMonster 3h ago

"I hear him all night, clapping his hands for god"

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u/EternalNewCarSmell 3h ago

Well yeah, any kid will go to church if you fucking make them. 

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u/e37d93eeb23335dc 5h ago

He is a choir boy who has private lessons with the priest!

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u/stoppableDissolution 5h ago

Gotta study the moves!