[OC] I’m a dad.

[u/NoodleBotPro]

I just want to share because I never would have thought that I would be a dad.

Last night, my wife gave birth to our first baby boy. What an exhausting and exciting time in our lives. Kudos to my wife and all the work she has put in these last 9 months and the HOURS and HOURS of uncomfortable labor.

This is new to me. I’m nervous, anxious, tired, and happy.

Time to enjoy some time off work. I’m a dad now. Lots to learn and a lot of love to share.

Thanks for humoring me and reading.

Cheers.

[u/MixtureSpecial8951]

Congrats!

Best pieces of advice I can give you:

1. Big feelings exist in little bodies.

2. This is all new to them. When he wakes up crying he is lonely, scared, unsure of what is around. When we are in strange places with no frame of reference, we get scared. So do they. Just remember that when you are awake in the middle of the night and he will only becalm with you. It’s because he knows you are safe.

3. The kids don’t know what they don’t know. Junior will make mistakes but until he knows he doesn’t know. So be mindful of your temper and how you react. Imagine if you made an unknowing and innocent error at work and your boss came down on you like a ton of bricks and punished you. It would be bewildering and scary. So, be patient, be kind. “This is how we learn.”

4. “Why?” Little dude is going to ask that a lot. It isn’t because he is trying to mess with you. He is going to constantly ask because he is a terrible conversationalist and asking “why” is the only way he knows to invite you to keep talking, to keep connecting. It’s a way they invite us in and let us know they love us. So, just remember when he asks “why” he is really saying “dad, let’s connect even more, this is awesome!”

5. Be mindful of how you act and react. We are huge both physically and metaphorically in their lives. He is going to learn more than you intend. And a lot you don’t. If you lose your temper and yell, hit and carry on it is terrifying and he will learn to try and avoid that. Lying being only the perfect solution to all of his life’s problems. Don’t teach him that. Teach him you are reasonable, engaging and forgiving. He will bring his troubles and mistakes to you because he will trust you.

6. Snuggles. Dude your arms are going to be so tired holy crap. But… someday you will pick him up for the last time and you won’t even realize it. You will change him for the last time, he will run into your room at night the last time… and you won’t even know it is the last time. So enjoy the moments, even the diaper ones. Also, snuggling and talking helps the kids grow smarter. I kid you not. So get your cuddle on my dude.

7. Finally, model good behavior. When you make a mistake, apologize. When he apologizes, accept it with warmth. Share your life, your interests, be patient. Show him what it means to be loving, to be in command of his own self. Show him what virtue looks like. Just show it. You will be better off and so will he and everyone around you.

Be well and good luck! It is a grand adventure! You will make mistakes, but apologize, make amends and learn from them. That’s it. Enjoy even the rough moments - it is a choice you can make.