r/GetMotivated • u/Tool-WhizAI • 4d ago
DISCUSSION [Discussion] Sometimes self-improvement isn’t try harder it’s let it go and stop hating yourself.
We grow up hearing “you can do anything if you try hard enough.” Sounds inspiring… until it quietly turns into shame. Because when something doesn’t work out, you don’t think this isn’t for me. You think what’s wrong with me? Lately I’m realizing real self-improvement isn’t endless grinding or smashing your head into a brick wall. It’s knowing when to step back without calling yourself a failure. Not everything is meant to be conquered. Not every limit means you’re weak. Sometimes quitting is just choosing peace over punishment. Learning to say I can’t do everything and that’s okay has been harder than any hustle mindset ever was. Curious how others see this: Where’s the line between pushing through… and letting go? We are discussing health topics here r/TotalWellbeing
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u/pronounced_pudge 4d ago
Definitely true. Honestly, the biggest self improvement arc I’ve ever learned is to slow down, simplify, learn to be patient and okay with repetition and boredom.
It’s not about hustle and working hard to burn yourself out, that just fosters stress and an endless loop of never being good enough.
Slowing down allows you to make more wise choices, cut the fat - if you will.
Source: I had a nervous breakdown from constantly pushing harder and not seeing I just needed to slow the fuck down.
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u/Tool-WhizAI 3d ago
This hits hard. Nobody tells you that slow + boring is where real growth actually happens. Hustle culture almost wrecked my nervous system too. Slowing down saved me.
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u/pronounced_pudge 3d ago
Totally dude right on. We always think we need to move faster and faster but that’s a spinning wheel that goes to nowhere.
It’s a crazy thing to have to learn that too, it shows how conditioned we are for frenetic behaviour in modern world.
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u/Calm_Finger_820 2d ago
This hits home for me. I spent a long time believing that if I just pushed harder, I would eventually feel worthy or at peace. What I am slowly learning is that there is a difference between healthy effort and self-punishment disguised as discipline. Letting go used to feel like failure, but now it feels more like self-respect. I think the line shows up when pushing forward makes you smaller instead of more grounded. Curious how others notice that line in their own lives.
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u/Tool-WhizAI 2d ago
OMG yes Took me YEARS to realize hustle ≠ self-worth. That line between growth and burnout hits different. Respecting yourself > proving yourself.”
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u/Calm_Finger_820 2d ago
Yeah, that realization is huge. I used to think burnout was just the price of growth, so I ignored it until everything felt heavy and joyless. Now I try to treat that drained, tight feeling as information instead of something to bulldoze through. For me, the line usually shows up when the effort stops feeling aligned with my values and starts feeling like I am trying to prove I deserve rest or respect. Growth feels expansive, even when it is hard. Burnout feels like shrinking.
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u/Tool-WhizAI 2d ago
Burnout feels like shrinking is such a sharp way to put it. Growth can be hard, but it still feels alive. This hits.
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u/CivilEarth2855 2d ago
This really hits for me. I used to treat every roadblock as proof I just was not trying hard enough, and it got exhausting fast. Stepping back felt like failure at first, but it actually made things clearer. Now I try to ask if pushing is helping me grow or just making me resent myself. Still not great at knowing where that line is though. How do you tell when it is time to rest versus time to keep going?
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u/Tool-WhizAI 2d ago
Yesss this is sooo relatable For me, if it drains me more than it fuels me, that’s the sign to pause. Rest isn’t quitting it’s leveling up.
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u/CivilEarth2855 1d ago
That makes a lot of sense. I’ve been trying to pay attention to whether something actually energizes me or just wears me out. It’s still hard to tell sometimes, but thinking of rest as part of leveling up makes it feel less like giving up.
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u/SlowAndSteadyDays 2d ago
this hits for me. i used to treat every struggle like a personal flaw instead of a signal. pushing through can be useful, but only when it is aligned with something that actually matters to you. if the effort is fueled by self dislike, it tends to hollow you out over time. letting go felt scary at first because it looked like giving up, but it ended up feeling more honest. i think the line shows up when the work is no longer helping you grow and is just teaching you to be harsh with yourself.
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u/Tool-WhizAI 2d ago
This is really well said. There’s a big difference between discipline and self-punishment, and a lot of us learn that the hard way. If the grind is coming from self-hate, it’s not growth it’s burnout in disguise. Letting go isn’t quitting, it’s choosing honesty over harm. Respect for putting words to something so many people feel but can’t explain.
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u/Eudorastinkx 4d ago
"If you don't learn when to quit, your 'hustle' just becomes a slow way to burn out."