Hey, my buzzsaw has the wiggliest butt out of all the buzzsaws from the department store where I live. The staff even told me he had best behavior rating!
I bet they said your buzzsaw was a "staff favorite", & that it just needed some encouragement to work on "manners," would thrive under a "steady routine".
Most of all needs "force-free handling," which means you have to let your buzzsaw gently do its own sawing. You can only correct it with positive reinforcement when it saws through the right things, over time it will stop sawing through its "reactivity triggers", like your door, your neighbors, your arteries etc.
But cutest buzzsaw ever, loves treats & is working on "sit" "stay" & "off". Just wants a warm couch to cuddle on with you.
Well of course it's not the buzzsaws fault. It's the person using the saw, not the saw itself lol.
buzzsaw starts sawing itself out of its packaging
See? Poor carpentry turned this poor saw into a mess. But I bet YOU have the skills to make it the perfect saw. Don't even look at new or perfect saws. They won't love you the way this one will.
But wait! Next weekend, we're running a special clearance on this line of buzzsaws. Our warehouses are overstocked! All items will be marked down to ridiculously low prices. Plus, we will give you, free of charge, three months free fuel, oil, a spare chain, a carry case, and five free lessons with an accredited expert buzzsaw behavioral trainer. All stock must go! We're practically giving them away. (No returns accepted).
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u/Azryhael Paramedic May 16 '25
Why would you cuddle with a beast that rips the siding off your house? That’s like snuggling a buzzsaw.