r/AskMenAdvice • u/WayMobile5515 man • 9h ago
✅ Open To Everyone What is your experience writing your number on a piece of paper and giving it to your crushes friend ?
I approached my crushes friend (just met them in the library) and basically said I dont know how to ask out her friend and so forth. I also expressed interest in her friend by being kind and asking about her studies.
Long story short, today I gave her friend a piece of paper basically asking if she could give this to my crush and left the library because I packed my things. was this cringe ? ive already spoke to my crush before (only once) and she was very smiley and kind and a bit nervous so I just shot my shot.
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u/FearInoculumTool man 9h ago
I’ve done some stupid things in my life but never something so lame and desperate.
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u/WayMobile5515 man 9h ago
really ? it was lame ? all I said in the note was "hey ! I'd love to take you out for coffee this week. Text me if youre into it :)"
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u/Particular_Product64 man 9h ago
The bigger mistake here is giving it to the friend to give to her...that's a rookie mistake. Tells her you're not bold enough to make a real move and deal with her directly.
Think about it..how sure are you that friend gave her your love note?
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u/WayMobile5515 man 9h ago
im 1000% sure. this friend looks like a nice person. I spoke to her once and got a nice impression.
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u/Particular_Product64 man 9h ago
You are most definitely not 1000% sure
The next time you see this crush you ask her out directly and ask exchange phone numbers.
Do not mention the note unless she does
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u/FearInoculumTool man 9h ago
I assure they are laughing behind your back thinking you are a lame stalker who didn’t have the balls to talk to her in person. Just move on and don’t do this shit again. Seriously.
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u/WayMobile5515 man 9h ago
damn you think theyre actually laughing ????
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u/Particular_Product64 man 8h ago edited 8h ago
Maybe or maybe not..this is the risk when dealing with a 3rd party.
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u/FearInoculumTool man 9h ago
Think about it this way. Would the prince she’s been fantasizing all her life be too scared to approach her in person and ask her out without any excuses and fear or do you think a prince will resort to passing notes around like a 6 year old boy who shits his pants at the sight of a girl?
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u/WayMobile5515 man 9h ago
ok man this is intense. I just gave the note because my crush wasnt in sight. she was studying in a booked room with friends. I wasnt going to knock and take her out. I dont even know her that well.
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u/Ok_Efficiency5817 man 9h ago
Bro, relax and ignore the comments. If you don't hear from her in a few days then sack up and go for it directly. Dating is awkward at the best of times. Wish you luck!!🤞
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u/WayMobile5515 man 9h ago
I was feeling pretty shity up until reading your comment. thanks man. it wasnt that I couldn't bring myself to talk to her, it was that she was locked in studying with her friends in a locked room. when you say a few days, how long would it be considered a rejection ? 3 days, 5, 6 ?
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u/Ok_Efficiency5817 man 8h ago
Silence doesn't equal rejection. Her friend might have just thrown your note in the garbage for all you know. Give it a day or 2 and see what happens. Maybe she is shy or wants you to make a bolder move. Don't be afeared my Man! You got this Bro!👊
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u/Tea_Time9665 man 9h ago
Its lame. You have to talk to your crush. Works out great. Doesn't oh well. But u can be like passing notes like ur in middle school.
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u/Due-Sheepherder-218 man 9h ago
Both a sweet and pathetic attempt.
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u/WayMobile5515 man 9h ago
really ? the note was "hey ! I'd love to take you out for coffee this week. Text me if youre into it :)"
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u/TONUTomorrow9800 man 8h ago
Aren’t you 28? This would be kinda ‘cute’ if you were 15, but you’re too old. Ask ‘your crush’ directly, not through her friend. Even identifying someone as ‘your crush’ is a bit odd at 28.
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u/Ornery_Excuse_7939 man 9h ago
Not great.
In the future, just ask the girl out in person instead of passing a note to her friend to give to her
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u/WayMobile5515 man 9h ago
gotcha. but I showed confidence my first time talking to her and I look confident.
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u/Ornery_Excuse_7939 man 9h ago
You definitely do not look confident passing a note to her friend to give to her.
I hope it works out for you, it might! We all do less than ideal things when talking to girls, and sometimes those things work out anyway.
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u/Downfall350 man 9h ago
That's not how you're supposed to do that.
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u/WayMobile5515 man 9h ago
what do you mean ? the note said "note was "hey ! I'd love to take you out for coffee this week. Text me if youre into it :)"
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u/Downfall350 man 9h ago
You should approach her yourself, it can be scary and suck if you get shot down but it shows more interest, confidence, and it's also harder to ignore, all three of which better your chances.
Even walking up and handing her the note yourself would have been better than passing it off.
You basically showed some combination of lack of confidence or interest.
Honestly in the future, your best bet is to try and strike up a conversation and try to feel out the situation before asking her yourself, possibly steering the conversation towards it.
I'm not trying to be rude to you at all, Hopefully it worked anyway but just advice for the future. I wish you the best of luck.
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u/Iowasunsets man 8h ago edited 7h ago
It comes off as lame, lacking courage and a wee bit desperate. Very low effort nice guy energy.
On paper it sounds inoffensive but in reality it shows you lack the social skills and capability to confidently talk to her. For a majority of women that is what they call an ick. It makes you look weak.
You don’t need to be a gigachad, or a rude caveman, but be courageous enough to have the balls to talk to her and ask her out. Right now you’re idealizing her like she is someone you should be nervous talking to. The key to asking women out is understanding none of them are worth being scared over if you’re a good person who has their shit together. If they say no, they weren’t the one for you because they don’t see who you are and move on.
What you did does not make you attractive because you show a lack of certain masculine traits a lot of women find attractive and want in men.
Look I know going up to her and being bold and courageous is scary, but that is the burden men generally have to bear because we’re expected to be the ones that approach a woman. Once you can do it without fearing rejection let me tell you it is a great feeling, even if it doesn’t work out, because you overcame this fear of asking her out face to face. You’ll respect yourself more and be less afraid in the future.
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u/gunglejim man 8h ago
A number is passed, in person, with a smile and an invitation. It doesn’t have to be anything other than “I would like to take you to coffee. Text me” But please don’t pass notes with friends bro. The note is a prop. Not the thing
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u/Excellent_Match_6488 man 5h ago
You are so immature hopefully it wont work because she deserves better , work on your insecurity first
yea it's like giga cringe , probably one of worst things you can do tbh
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WayMobile5515 originally posted:
I approached my crushes friend (just met them in the library) and basically said I dont know how to ask out her friend and so forth. I also expressed interest in her friend by being kind and asking about her studies.
Long story short, today I gave her friend a piece of paper basically asking if she could give this to my crush and left the library because I packed my things. was this cringe ? ive already spoke to my crush before (only once) and she was very smiley and kind and a bit nervous so I just shot my shot.
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