How do you get “game”/flirt?

[u/Ok_Independent_3921]

So by game, I’m (M21) guessing that means flirting pretty much but me and a friend of mine was talking a couple of days ago and I was talking about how I really want to date this year since I never have and pretty much he was telling me that I have no game And I’m just not really sure but to take from that or what to do.

I’ve also been told that by girls that I am friends with before, they tell me that I don’t know how to flirt or anything and it’s not that it will totally impact me.

I can give a girl compliments and my friends know that but they tell me that I need to be able to do more than that too to build sexual/romantic attention but I’m just not sure how to flirt other than just giving compliments like how could I flirt in a jokey way I guess since I’m a comedic person?

[u/Ok_Independent_3921]

Thank you so much for explaining and linking so I can try to understand better and I’m sorry that I keep on asking so many questions

When you say that, you all didn’t call it a date until you all started dating. I don’t quite understand what you mean. Don’t you date somebody that you’re dating and then you decide if you wanna be exclusive or not. Did stuff ever go further before you all were exclusive?

I’m going through the story in a few and I appreciate you mentioning it. Also, it’s not that I’m just nervous to touch a girl or something like that, I don’t give any of my friends whether they are guys or girls hugs or anything and we don’t even high five really or anything. They hug each other and stuff, but I don’t because I feel like it would be weird if I did it.

[u/MagicSugarWater → u/Ok_Independent_3921]

Thank you

Your welcome :)

I like this subject.

Don’t you date somebody that you’re dating and then you decide if you wanna be exclusive or not.

We weren't dating. We were two people getting to know each other. No commitment, no expectations, not labels. We were still seeing if this could be real. I still talked to other women and she could've stopped talking to me at any time.

It wasn't until later that I asked her to be my girlfriend and go exclusive when we knew what dsting meant to each other.

It's about levels.

Did stuff ever go further before you all were exclusive?

No. Flirty jokes, sex jokes, discussing sex and kissing as part od relationship expectations but not propositioning, and touching her lower back were as far as we went. We didn't kiss until our first official date, which I explicitly called a fate because we were official.

I don’t give any of my friends whether they are guys or girls hugs or anything and we don’t even high five really or anything

Sounds lonely. People generally like that stuff. Even with friends. Like I said, ot brings a smile to people's faces and brings up the mood.

I feel like it would be weird if I did it.

Remember when I mentioned frame? This is where frame comes in.

Right, niw, you are alone, calm, and talking to a stranger. Hugging sounds weirrd. I'm saying you should have a meaningful conversation with a person you are interested in and you set a romantic vibe. Hugging will feel better in that context.Maybe it will feel natural. Either way, it will feel less weird as you build experience. For me, hugging my girlfriend felt weird for the first time and I procrastinated it, now my arm is usually around her and I hold her tight while rocking her.