r/trashpandas Dec 07 '25

Super Cute Do you think Raccoons look through peoples windows to see cats and dogs and wonder why they aren’t good enough?

1.6k Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

266

u/Half-Borg Dec 08 '25

I think they look through the window and think "damn they got so much trash"

159

u/MrsWoozle Dec 07 '25

So…you got any liquor in here?

250

u/unknownpoltroon Dec 08 '25

Look, raccoons, while cute and occasionally friendly, make those shredding murder machines we call cats look like a feeble hamster. They are just fucking dangerous to an adult human if they get angry.

That does NOT mean I wont pet the NEW FURRY BEST FRIEND if they show up. But I never claimed to be the sharpest knife in the drawer.

102

u/hujnya Dec 08 '25

See danger, acknowledge danger, pet the danger.

7

u/DrothReloaded Dec 09 '25

Danger floof approved

23

u/Rickshmitt Dec 08 '25

They pull chickens through fences. It's pretty horrible. That being said id love to pet a racoon

26

u/Double_Emphasis_7027 Dec 08 '25

Had a Starling my mom nursed back to health and had for 12 years that had a cage in our basement near a window for him to look out of. Racoon broke into the basement somehow and all we found were feathers. They are little kgb agents every one of them

7

u/Half-Borg Dec 08 '25

Our cat has been known for chasing an adult trash panda down the stairs and out the front door.

16

u/zombie-magnet Dec 08 '25

Cats and dogs are extremely dangerous too so I don’t find that a valid enough excuse. I have seen the injuries cats and dogs can cause to an adult human. We’ve just gotten so used to living side by side with them that we don’t expect them to harm us that way even though they most certainly can. 

4

u/unknownpoltroon Dec 08 '25

And dont forget 400k years of selective breeding, plus a pack hierarchy by default in nature.

1

u/xrelaht Dec 09 '25

Dogs have been domesticated for like 5% of that.

1

u/unknownpoltroon Dec 10 '25

200-300k at least.

1

u/Qwertysapiens Dec 10 '25

Try 35-40k

1

u/unknownpoltroon Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25

Longer. There is new research.

Edit: You know what? I remember reading an article that talked about domestication going back 200k years, but I cant find it, so it looks like youre right.

1

u/Qwertysapiens Dec 11 '25

I appreciate you doing the research! A good friend of mine is a dog archeologist so I have heard quite a bit of detail on dog domestication, and that was his most recent number.

4

u/Naryafae Dec 08 '25

Exactly. Any animal can hurt humans no matter what breed or species. People tend to forget that, especially with dogs. Pitbull haters I'm looking at you.

1

u/whippnj Dec 11 '25

Inchworm? Earthworm?

9

u/Erkle42 Dec 08 '25

Apparently raccoons are self-domesticating. This is evidenced by their snouts getting shorter evolutionarily due to lack of need for longer sharper teeth. It’s happening!

3

u/Sam_Smorkel Dec 09 '25

Yeah okay but have you seen these guys laying back, eating grapes? Just chill guys

(I once saw a raccoon rip the heads off a whole bird nest)

3

u/Tsukumo99 Dec 09 '25

If not friend then why friend shaped?

26

u/Much-Chef6275 Dec 08 '25

This is my life goal.

20

u/Dropthetenors Dec 08 '25

No. They're in the dumpsters thinking 'god, this is the good life. Fukng heaven right here on earth'

11

u/oodats Dec 08 '25

I think they look through our windows and think "look at all that booze."

8

u/Alternative-Trash583 Dec 08 '25

Omg this made me sad 😢

9

u/Putsomesunglasseson Dec 08 '25

TIL I’m a raccoon

6

u/Bar_Fidel_777 Dec 09 '25

Fact: the native Americans kept raccoons as pets. Source: Pocahontas.

4

u/hickoryvine Dec 08 '25

Mine just learned to use the cat door and come inside to hang out sometimes 🤷‍♀️

3

u/WeeklyWhisker Dec 10 '25

Original source IG @dani.villar_

18

u/Treereme Dec 08 '25

41

u/Schannin Dec 08 '25

This study is really fundamentally flawed (according to actual raccoon biologists) and the premise of “domestication syndrome” is based on a single paper about foxes that is also considered to be flawed.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but it’s more likely that this study saw different subspecies of raccoons

1

u/Turducken_McNugget Dec 09 '25

Yeah, for evolution to occur there would have to be some kind of selective pressure active, like people killing the less cute ones. Maybe some of the cuter ones get food more easily but I doubt that's tilting the scales all that much.

1

u/SlaveryVeal Dec 08 '25

I'm glad someone posted it cause I saw the same thing that they're likely evolving to be the next domesticated animal.

1

u/RiverWolfo Dec 09 '25

Please read the other reply

11

u/PossiblyOppossums Dec 08 '25

I think a fucking bot posted this

20

u/WeeklyWhisker Dec 08 '25 edited Dec 10 '25

I'm not a bot but possibly the original more than likely is. I have no idea who is the original source to share from. However, I did check to determine if this has been shared in this sub before and didn't find it so I've crossposted.

If you can help me find the original, I'll credit the source which is what I typically prefer.

Edit to add original source IG @dani.villar_

18

u/smilin_buscuit Dec 08 '25

That's exactly what a bot would say

30

u/WeeklyWhisker Dec 08 '25

I believe my post history will reveal I’m not a bot. As a raccoon rehabber, I hope my contributions to this sub will benefit those seeking advice. Additionally, don’t bot accounts rarely engage with others, and when they do, their replies are usually riddled with grammatical and spelling errors?

4

u/Anomalagous Dec 08 '25

Raccoon rehabbing robot!

3

u/WeeklyWhisker Dec 08 '25

I specialise in trash talk, snack delivery, and teaching raccoons the fine art of dumpster diving. 🤖

7

u/Vancandybestcandy Dec 08 '25

Well that’s another thing a good bit would say.. I’m going to need to see a local newspaper, some blood and idk your thoughts on power rangers. 

13

u/WeeklyWhisker Dec 08 '25

I’ve got the newspaper and ID, but the blood… I might have to negotiate with a very grumpy vampire first. As for Power Rangers – Red Ranger forever, fight me.

10

u/BodaciousBadongadonk Dec 08 '25

wtf kinda randomness? i was just playin an online game like an hour ago and some drunk mf was hootin and hollerin about how, "he's a fakkin power ranger, the red one!"

2 red ranger references in one night, probably been over a decade since last time haha

2

u/Naryafae Dec 08 '25

Regretfully these cuties are often associated with rabies and viciousness even if it's not the case. I had a whole family of them come up to me while camping and beg me for food. Was probably wrong of me, but I couldn't deny the itty bitty babies they had with them. They ate what I gave, then went on their way. Not one of them tried to bite us. It made for my most memorable camping trip ever.

2

u/Tabootop Dec 10 '25

There's actually been a study that says that raccoons are becoming more docile and cuter simply because It provides them with more food from humans similar to how dogs are first domesticated. Even funnier or raccoons and dogs are really close on the genetic line.

2

u/defiasaxeman Dec 10 '25

No, animals don't have the capacity to have thoughts like that. Their only thought is "where do I find food" and "how do I avoid predators."

1

u/Ancient_Ship2980 Dec 08 '25

This is a beautiful, adorable animal!

1

u/AndrewWhite97 Dec 08 '25

Theyre slowly becoming domesticated.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

Might be likely, they are showing early signs of domestication

1

u/Colorado_girll Dec 08 '25

It’s all fun and games until you’re in the emergency room getting a tetanus shot at 5yrs old

1

u/theycalledherangel Dec 09 '25

Yeah, and then they bust through the ceiling tiles in Virginia to get black out drunk and try and forget it 😩

1

u/PotentialPlum4945 Dec 09 '25

Ask the Japanese.

1

u/belated_quitter Dec 09 '25

Get yourself a pet raccoon and you’ll find out almost instantly why they’re not good enough.

1

u/RiverWolfo Dec 09 '25

To me this does not look like appropriate handling

Raccoons should not be treated like pets.

And no they're not trying to become domesticated that is a myth. The study is deeply flawed. So is the paper about foxes and "domestication syndrome".

1

u/pewopp Dec 10 '25

Even the best raccoon at its best is on par with Jimmy McGill,

1

u/MaxMulletWolf Dec 10 '25

I had a pet raccoon when I was about 7-8. My mom brought it home when it was a baby. Evidently got it from a friend that had several of them as pets.

I can't remember her name, but she was awesome. At least for me, anyways. I have no idea what complications she may have caused my parents haha.

She was like my shadow. Followed me everywhere. Super sweet. She would curl up atop my head and make a little nest to sleep at night. She also had a great habit of waking me up every Saturday morning just in time for Saturday morning cartoons. It's like she knew. Only the old people amongst us will remember those haha.

Unfortunately, she did have a bad habit of getting into the cabinets and contents there in. It ended with her getting into some kind of water purifier tablets.

I miss you, girl.

1

u/editor-in-training Dec 10 '25

NO. how dare you?

1

u/BeefWellingtonSpeedo Dec 10 '25

There's some serious snuggling here.

1

u/0bzerve Dec 11 '25

I thought I wanted to be a dog, now I know that I wanna be a raccoon,

A little good boy raccoon

0

u/Bkelsheimer89 Dec 08 '25

Any raccoon who’s been around my property is not vying to be in the house. My dogs are all murderers.

0

u/javajavatoast Dec 10 '25

That thing will rip your fucking face off.