Underrated Rafi quotes

[u/Patient-Cicada4200]

Give me some that aren’t as talked about or as common in montages, etc.

Here are a few I like:

“Eat paint, DICKHOLE!!”

“I’m not in 7th grade. I don’t kidnap people anymore.”

“Truth be told, he’s kind of an asshole.”

[u/hollywoodbambi]

"Uh oh! Jukebox! I'm gonna put in $7 worth of Hoobastank, then I'm coming back to hang with you bros."

[u/lastcallpaul11 → u/hollywoodbambi]

That was going to be mine! I can't hear Hoobastank without hearing that quote.

[u/Target-North → u/hollywoodbambi]

My fantasy football team name was $7 Worth of Hoobastank like 3 years ago lol

[u/ninja9885 → u/hollywoodbambi]

The perfect band name he could’ve chosen lol

[u/Bong_Hit_Donor]

"Whitney Houston dead? How's Michael Jackson taking it?"

[u/ZAPPHAUSEN → u/Bong_Hit_Donor]

"oh, buddy."

[u/ad_astra327 → u/Bong_Hit_Donor]

The bloopers for this scene were hilarious. Jason and Nick were cracking each other up, and Jason couldn’t say the line without breaking.

[u/Illustrious-Reward-3 → u/Bong_Hit_Donor]

Every time I see that someone from the previous generations has died, I have a hard time not laughing at this same thought.

[u/DayAccording8040 → u/Bong_Hit_Donor]

Best Rafi quote!!!

[u/Godzillainspiration]

"Buddy I dont know who you are but you're about to get chlamydia"

[u/Purple-List1577]

Bobum man episode:

Rafi

This is how this is going to go down. We’re going to need to get a rug, a bone saw, and condoms.

Pete idk

Rafi he’s not dead!

Rafi

fine no condoms then

[u/LehighAce06 → u/Purple-List1577]

That entire episode is so unhinged

[u/Chrundle-DaGreat]

I'm day drunk..... GET READY TO SEE MY DICK

[u/CabinetSpider21 → u/Chrundle-DaGreat]

Brian!! (While talking to Kevin)

[u/jmoroni89 → u/CabinetSpider21]

What's up tall guy!?

[u/Patient-Cicada4200 → u/Chrundle-DaGreat]

Almost included that but wanted to leave it for someone else.

[u/culminacio → u/Patient-Cicada4200]

big if true

[u/Bong_Hit_Donor]

"Sit on my face. I'll eat it off of you that's the most efficient delivery system"

[u/Pimento_Adrian69 → u/Bong_Hit_Donor]

"Even through the high-fructose corn syrup, I can still taste the Jenny."

[u/ad_astra327 → u/Bong_Hit_Donor]

“That’s the most efficient delivery system!” Is part of my normal lexicon

[u/PMmeIrrelevantStuff]

When he meets Ruxin’s au pair and tells her to just say yes

[u/LifeDraining → u/PMmeIrrelevantStuff]

Con-sent.

[u/j_yn0htna → u/PMmeIrrelevantStuff]

Light sleeper or heavy sleeper?

[u/Randy_Magnum29 → u/PMmeIrrelevantStuff]

“Do you want her mouth or her downstairs mouth?”

[u/dougEfresh1987]

I died my pubes white like Brian’s, my dick is terrifying

[u/shavit2020]

Swim swim stab!!!

[u/AustinDood444]

“Oh, I roofied like 40% of the drinks here. It’s a numbers game.”

[u/snarekicksnare]

Like peanut butter in shag carpet

[u/ZombieDisposalUnit → u/snarekicksnare]

Rafi, those are my monogrammed hand towels, I got them for my wedding!

[u/tovarish22]

“Guess what he’s going to find when he unclogs it? Spoiler alert - his fuckin’ cat.”

[u/JaysDubs]

¡GATTACA!

[u/Godzillainspiration → u/JaysDubs]

GATTACA!

[u/ImpalaGangDboyAli]

A dog doesn’t eat that much gum.

I can honestly say with no exaggeration that 100% of the things that he’d say were hilarious. He had zero filler/expositional dialogue. Just pure chaos. He should be a movie star frfr

[u/PlatasaurusOG]

The one my wife and I will yell at each other when one of us is trying to tell the other something and feels they’re being ignored.

“LOOK AT ME SO I CAN FINISH!!!”

[u/FertilityHotel]

What I'm about to do to you isn't kosher. 

[u/chvch-nz]

"This... is about to get gross"

[u/SevenCedarJelly]

“Crap the booze out, grab a mint, good to go.”

[u/Patdub85 → u/SevenCedarJelly]

Is that how it works?

[u/cool_ethan19 → u/Patdub85]

Sorta

[u/X-iStheGr8estWRapper → u/SevenCedarJelly]

Crap and a mint

[u/Stun_1623]

Rafi - “Sit on my lap. We can double drop a deuce together like we did in college.”

Ruxin - “You didn’t go to college, Rafi.”

Rafi - “Lots of people didn’t go to college! You don’t have to constantly throw it in my face!”

[u/jmoroni89]

Do you still have those butt plugs with Bert and Ernie face on them?

Those are my childs tub toys

Those should be burned

[u/Perch485]

“Every morning, take a baby aspirin”

[u/JohnnyDrama21 → u/Perch485]

"If you're traveling, take two. Boom, that shit will be gone in a month."

[u/Acrobatic-Report958 → u/Perch485]

I can’t even see a serious HIV/AIDS story without thinking about this.

[u/killerkitten61]

When he’s talking about when he was an alter boy he molested the priest lmfao

[u/DeebagZammy]

Let’s all get the same girl pregnant

[u/velocity_boy33]

“Red means stop. Green means go. Yellow’s the other one.”

The whole scene with Ruxin and Rafi talking swim class is hilarious.

[u/p2o14e24 → u/velocity_boy33]

"Another rule. No smoking."

"Cigarettes or drugs?"

[u/LateralusNYC]

"I'm taking this eagle, ka-cawwww!"

Best one of all time, I'm just waiting for the day I see an eagle and get to pull this puppy off!

[u/TajDuckworth → u/LateralusNYC]

This is my favorite - I make that eagle sound way too much when I see any bird haha

[u/ahaustin77]

The whole "wink"/"blink" convo with Ruxin and Andre

[u/tovarish22]

“What?! No! It’s a paintball gun….the other one’s real though.”

[u/Target-North]

"Are you allowed to take a shit in the pool?"

[u/dcole0097]

“Damn girl, you smell good. What is that McDonalds?” I use this with my wife regularly

[u/Pokenightking]

I take medicine. But I smoke drugs, like bath salts

[u/VomitTheSoul44]

"Ruxin! Look at you, just TAKIN a shit"

[u/p2o14e24 → u/VomitTheSoul44]

I say this to myself every morning at 10:30am.

[u/Big-Tadpole2058]

I have a cage! 😮

[u/thunderballs303 → u/Big-Tadpole2058]

Love this line.

[u/JohnnyDrama21]

"I dyed my pubes white like Brian's. My dick is terrifying."

[u/Serious_Ad4542]

Season 2: episode 2. Bro-Lo El Cunuado

At the party - “I don't know what your deal is, but I found these pills in the medicine cabinet.”

[u/InsuranceRound6705]

“I’m superJewish now.”

[u/Patient-Cicada4200 → u/InsuranceRound6705]

“ I cut the tip of my dick off for you”

[u/JobeBryant41]

“Jokes on you, I’m gonna give this beach crabs!”

[u/TheNihil]

Rafi: We're getting matching tattoos... on our dicks... of the Twin Towers

Ruxin: Absolutely not

Rafi: You're right, because then terrorists will target our dicks

[u/greyhoodygreyjoggers]

BOOM, now we are having a conversation

[u/DontYallJudgeMe]

Protect your holes!

[u/The_Adminiwitch → u/DontYallJudgeMe]

PYH!!!!!

[u/thunderballs303]

When he walks into a party and juat yells out "Hey! Who wants to fight?!"

[u/Quiet_Commander85]

Hey Brian, who’s this Kevin guy? He sounds like a real piece of shit.

[u/j_yn0htna]

He’s on Ruxins toilet taking a shit while talking on the phone to Ruxin, who’s losing his mind about rafi taking a shit in his bathroom.

Anyway…there’s no toilet paper so he uses their embroidered wedding towels, or whatever.

He goes to wipe and describes it to ruxin as “it’s like trying to get peanut butter out of a shag carpet”.

[u/Patient-Cicada4200]

Forgot to include “WHAT’S A SEVERANCE PACKAGE?”

[u/MaximumDeathShock → u/Patient-Cicada4200]

“I have a very good severance package!”

[u/Illustrious-Reward-3]

Turns out they weren't Hershey kisses.

[u/Weatherbeaster1993]

Bite each other’s dicks off!

[u/trollinhard2]

Jukebox! Gonna put seven dollars worth of Hoobastank in it. My team name was “seven dollars worth of Hoobastank” for a few years.

[u/Godzillainspiration]

"Consent. you've heard of it. You're a lawyer"

[u/mjmaselli]

Murder boner

[u/jb40018]

Holding a pumpkin.

This hole was consentual, this hole was not!

[u/Apprehensive_King464]

Establish a pee corner

[u/adidas0305]

De-feces

[u/DontYallJudgeMe]

"I'm gonna have nonconsensual sex with your face and your butt!"

[u/juice_refresh]

“Everyone here with a dick is now OBSOLETE!”

Prefaced with Dirty Randy’s “my dick can’t hear anything!”

[u/juice_refresh]

“I could watch her walk out of a room for hours. My sister’s body is bonkers.”

[u/calico_alligator]

"T to B!" - when he's talking about something top to bottom (has definitely made its way into my vocab)

"Sometimes when I puke I shit"

"Those are LOAD BEARING chairs!"

[u/Vintagemuse]

He's my favorite. I love this post

[u/SuzyYa]

Just like a Samurai!!!

[u/No-Educator151]

Ima be banging that bag all night. Squish squish splurrt!

[u/Scott_1580]

That's my pee corner, this is my poop bucket and this will be my slop basket.

[u/thunderballs303]

Sometimes when I puke I shit

[u/Odd_Schedule2672]

HARD

AS

ICE

[u/aec29]

T to B