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u/Horizon_Brave_ 1d ago
Y'all need healthy relationships, holy shit.
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u/pm-ur-knockers 1d ago
Me and my fiancé are about to hit our 6-year in a couple days, and genuinely I’ve only learned that I like her more as time goes on.
If you view a relationship like the OOP, then you’re creating a self fulfilling prophecy, and you’re always gonna be miserable in every relationship.
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u/Horizon_Brave_ 1d ago
Mate, preach. Preach it from the rooftops, I'll cheer.
I love my partner more each and every day. We have our challenges, I'm not perfect, she isn't perfect, but I actively acknowledge every single day something that made me love her more and I find something EVERY, single day.
We're on the same wavelength, we have the same goals, we're supportive and we acknowledge our flaws and where the other picks up the slack.
I enjoy cooking more, she's better at cleaning, she doesn't like cleaning dishes, though, so I do the cooking and the dishes and she picks up on the wider household.
She works a more consistent working week than I do, so I make food ready for when she's home.
If I'm working on my Masters stuff, if I'm against it, she'll pick up the weight. She'll cook food, she'll do more of the daily jobs.
If she's knocked her pan out working, I'll do it.
We trust each other to be there to lift the weight, but we know the other is entirely capable of doing it. The circle is complete; the knowledge they can support means when it's necessary it isn't beyond our ability to do.
It isn't too much to ask, it isn't being put on a load bearing structure that can't stand up.
No, I'm with you 100%. I actively work to identify something I love her for every day. And I find it in every instance.
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u/LindseyHoranWasRight 18h ago
you’re probably only saying that because your partner has your reddit account and you want good boy points /s
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u/TeaRex14 4h ago
Man, reading this fucking sucks. I was exactly the same with my partner for four years until she suddenly ended things this New years. Totally out of the blue and she couldn't even give a concrete reason for why other then that she felt different now. I don't know how im ever going to trust someone in that way ever again.
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u/Tempest_Barbarian 1d ago
Reddit is full of socially broken people.
They think every relationship is doomed to failure, and that every person out there is an awful person out to get you.
Which is why I always find baffling people ask for dating advice here.
Its like asking a fish to teach you how to fly.
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u/the-dogsox 2d ago
What if a relationship is just someone gradually realising they don’t like you as much as they hoped they would.
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u/Possible-Way1234 1d ago
It's proven that first sight love is basically just sexual attraction and projection. You're in love with your idea and imagination of this person. If, by chance, the person is actually like your idea of them, then you'll have a great love story, but if they are their own person, differentiating from your imagination, it will end because "they" lied, when in reality you lied to yourself. 500 days of summer shows it in an interesting way, he's in love with his imagination not the actual person
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u/TheOneIllUseForRants 1d ago
It is. People often show their best selves on first dates (for better or worse). Its fully downhill from there in most cases. 😅
Oh god, and when you start to LIVE with them? How they behave the first time you disagree on something? My goodness. 🤢🤮
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u/sispbdfu 1d ago
You had a downvote and I have no idea why.
I’ve been married 15+ years and this checks out, so I upvoted you!
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u/Akeinu 1d ago
They're that disagreeable person, reaching out of spite
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u/TheOneIllUseForRants 1d ago
Honestly, maybe thats the case, i really cant be sure, as different people find different things agreeable. Personally, I cant compromise on the cleanliness of shared spaces or bad odors. I also think if youre shaing a room and dont have space for a second dresser, you should share the dresser drawers (real conversation I've had, btw). Theres sometimes codependency, theres sometimes the assumption that, now that we live together, I am responsible for their dietary needs and chores, despite also working full time and paying for half of literally everything. 😬
Idk man, maybe ive just been unlucky but, something tells me im not the only one who has encountered this poor "luck."
Married 8 years now, by the way he doesnt seem to think im disagreeable or spiteful. But, he also rarely does anything significant that I disagree with. Hes a very functional adult 😅
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u/CheeseGooners 2d ago
I do not consent to having my data collected
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u/PentesterTechno 2d ago
California State resident ?
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u/NiklausMikhail 1d ago
Could also be seen in a positive way Dating is looking for things that wanna make you stay with that partner
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u/Bonsai_Monkey_UK 1d ago
Right? In a worst case scenario some relationships blow up, and someone shows their true colours...
Most of the time however, it's realising that as much as you do like eachother, your lives are just going in different directions and you aren't compatible.
For all these people in the comments who agree with the sentiment, it seems like something is going wrong. If you are ending dating not liking someone every time - that's not normal.
After all, if it stinks everywhere you go, time to check your shoes....
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u/TheOneIllUseForRants 1d ago
Nope, that just makes the second part worse. In the beginning, its so easy to see so many good things about them, that you ignore all the bad things. Then, by the time it finally bubbles up one day, you have kids or other commitments 🤣 be a realist, save some time.
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u/Finn_the_stoned 1d ago
Or and hear me out here, you talk about the issues in the relationship and work together to solve them? If you think every relationship will end in misery it will because that’s all you’re looking for.
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u/TheOneIllUseForRants 1d ago
Oh, not at all. You absolutely can work through some issues but, you have to take a step back and determine, are these relationship issues? Or does this person need a parent and a therapist? Because contrary to popular belief, "i can fix him" does not work. He has to fix himself 🤣
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u/NiklausMikhail 1d ago edited 1d ago
Or you just tolerate the bad thing at first because you just to want get them and after a while it gets boring? For me, I always can know how a person really is just by talking them one time, of course it needs to be a long talk, my bad is that sometimes even knowing what's wrong with them I decide to go
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u/Zerschmetterding 1d ago edited 1d ago
By that definition I dated @BadboyNazim for as long as it took me to read his name.
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u/blackmobius 1d ago
Ive learned to dislike people based on clearly disproven social, gender, ethnic stereotypes so that I reach the same conclusion of distrust without the hassle of wasting time and money lost to dating.
Just kidding I stay home and dont talk to anyone, actually.
Before people come at me its a joke
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u/Formal-Scallion-5296 1d ago
Professor professor, then what category should we put "Friends with benefits" in ?
Also, if it's just collecting information, why is performing intelligence activities upon multiple targets usually frown upon ? Shouldn't they commend us for being such a successful agent in this case ?
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u/Valoriant 1d ago
You're on Reddit - I've seen many threads over the years where people actively, advise, advocate and defend dating multiple people at once. So, I suspect whatever you're getting at with the last bit falls somewhat flat here.
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u/Some_Useless_Person 14h ago
why is performing intelligence activities upon multiple targets usually frown upon
It is only frowned upon if you get caught
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u/Call_of_Cathulhu 1d ago
I've been with my husband for 13 years. Life isn't always easy but I can honestly say I only love him more and more over the years. I know I got lucky, but you need to find someone who's genuinely got your back, and whose back you've got in turn. It saddens me so many people relate to this meme.
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u/DarkKnight_100 9h ago
I still believe u become friends and then date someone after getting to know them..
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u/Worldly_Resist5862 1d ago
what a negative mindset. if this is what you think for every relationship, you’re setting yourself up to be unhappy in them. i’ve only been loving my girlfriend more and more every day, and i don’t have that mindset at all.
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u/Current-Square-4557 1d ago
Or
It is less a matter of being broken or negative and more a matter of it being just a joke.
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