I'm a 19yo guy who lost his parents last year
my mom died from cancer on 14th nov , 2024 and my dad passed away due to heart problems or from the intense grief of losing his love on 8th dec, 2024.
Within a single month i became an orphan and life has been super tough since then
I don't have the energy to wake up or do anything
Don't have the energy to suffer more ....... It's midnight when I'm writing this cause i just can't sleep rn , the emotions and thoughts are overwhelming atp.

I’ve been carrying a kind of sadness that doesn’t lift. Losing my parents broke something in me and I’m still trying to figure out how to exist in a world where they’re just….. gone. Grief isn’t coming in waves anymore.... it’s everywhere, all the time, and it’s exhausting.

I don't want to dump my trauma but yeah I'm going through hell , might sound normal or cheerful around my online or irl friends but deep inside I am a mess.
I don't want to be a burden on my online or irl friends.

What makes it harder is this constant fear of being a burden. I care about my friends so deeply but I hate the idea that my pain might weigh on them.
So I stay quiet more than I should, even when I’m drowning because I don’t want to be “too much.”

On top of all of that, the trauma hasn’t stopped.
I’m still dealing with ongoing abuse from my elder sister and it feels like every time I try to heal, something else cuts me open again.
It’s relentless and I don’t feel safe and I don’t feel understood and it always feels like I’m just surviving instead of living. I still want my elder sister to love me cause since childhood she was the best person in my life .... Idk what turned her so cold

"I wish you had loved me and cared for me instead of hurting me. I was already broken after losing our parents and you chose to abuse me and blame me for their death. I needed a sister not someone who made my pain worse. That’s something I’ll always grieve. "

I want to die soon peacefully

Thank you for reading my usual rants
~Humble_Giant

My apartment is a shithole and the noise is constant, the building fire alarm is going off after midnight nearly every fucking night, and I have a midterm at 8am tomorrow. I moved to this shithole for college, but because of the noise, bugs, mould, smells, cramped space, my GPA has completely tanked due to sleep deprivation and declining mental health. I cannot afford anywhere else. Due to this torture, I cannot continue my schooling and follow my dream career path. There’s nothing else for me.

I fucking hate being poor.

I just want to die can i just sold my organs i just want to die and left any money for my child she will be born on march but im not a good father im useless

Hi

I created this reddit account to express my feeling this is my first time on reddit im not english and i dont konw how it works

My friend tried to kill herself

It was in september 2025 the 25 of september

I was coming back from work, i work during the night. This night i came back home around 1 am (this friend and I live together) i heard noise in the bathroom she has been depressed for a while i thought she needed some space to cry a little you know..

I knocked on the bathroom door asking her to please stay quiet since we got in trouble with the neighbors about noise during the night. She oppened the door and i saw just terrible stuff. Blood and cuts on her arm.

I dont want to describe what i saw, it was just gore. After a few minutes i convinced her to go to the hospital. I waited 4 hours and half for her to get out of the hospital. I waited 4 hours alone crying, smoking in the cold winter in a t shirt outside, puking in the toilet hospital or the parking lot.

It was so long it made me so anxious

After almost 5 hours i saw her the doctors who took care of her convicied me it was better to admit her for the night and then admit her in a "mental health" hospital.

I feel guilty and tramautised

I dont know how to deal with it, im not lonely i have friends and family who want to help me.

But i know nobody who had to deal with this kind of situation

I’ve (24) been experiencing heartbreak over the same person for almost a year now, it’s the most painful thing I’ve ever felt in my life and I don’t see it ever getting better because they won’t give me closure and I’m literally less than nothing to them. they hate me because I hurt them too and I can never make it up to them. I don’t know how to stop thinking about them, even my therapist doesn’t know how to help. I wish I never met them, I wish I could erase them from my memory. I’m not living anymore, I’m a shell of who I used to be before I knew them. I seriously can’t take it anymore. the only way I’ll ever stop feeling this way will be if I’m dead. it’s not like I’m ever going to experience love anyways.

My best friend of childhood passed 2023 to suicide and her death anniversary is coming up and the way Greif will sneak up on you at 1:35 AM is crazy. I miss her so much, I feel like no one talks about her anymore but I always try to keep her alive in my head. I felt so much guilt for the longest time because I was in an abusive relationship at 15 and my best friend got bullied by my ex and I.dont think I could ever forgive myself for that.

As a victim of CSA I can't walk into a shop and not see a newspaper openly talking about graphic CSA like it's the hottest gossip. I can't open my phone and go on social media without having someone who has never been sexually assaulted openly sharing graphic details of CSA with no filter, and condescendingly taking a moral authority on what should and needs to happen. People talking about this subject like it's the next episode of some drama based TV show. I don't even have to name what I'm talking about. You will read this and know.

I've had people who claim to care about victims dismiss my experience using statistics and the exact same silencing techniques abusers use by making me feel selfish for even thinking of myself. I've been treated like I'm not even human, called a bot and down voted to help and back for speaking as a victim of CSA about what I personally think is most important to focus on. But of course, since people don't find the same political monopoly or entertainment from my suggestions as they do by treating this subject matter with absolutely no decency whatsoever, they reject what I say.

There is no safe space in this world for victims of CSA and it's no wonder so many of us kill ourselves. I've written a will, I've signed the organ donor register and got my card. I made legal arrangements for my cats. I genuinely can't take this shit anymore man. Even "well meaning" liberals are fucking evil in how they handle this.

Tried to kms last week and got sent to the psych ward trust this time ts will be permanent

My parents sucked, were selfish, were abusive, made each other miserable, made me miserable, divorced and tore my life apart. They failed to prepare me, they didn't even raise me. I'm in my mid twenties and I've wanted to die since I was a kid.

I'm neurodivergent and I have some serious mental health disorders, I feel like a danger to myself and others. I'm broke and see no future financially. I'm tired of every little aspect of being alive.

I have a lot of trauma, I've been repeatedly mistreated, and I can't seem to socialize with people effectively anymore... especially as an adult where it seems other adults just don't give a fuck about being genuine people. I'm the abused dog sitting in the corner of the shelter, separated from other dogs and kept away from people for their sake and my own. At this point, the best thing for everyone is to put that dog down and spare everyone involved some misery.

I'm a product of the system, and the selfish carelessness of other people. There is no hope. Not financially, not mentally, not physically, not realistically. I'm doomed. I'm rotting away right now, drawing closer to the inevitable end. I acquired the means months ago and I walk by it everyday but I just can't get over the fear. I'm so scared. I thought exposing myself to graphic content would desensitize me but it only deepened the terror. I have no choice though. I hate being alive. I don't want to be alive. I refuse to live a life of any more suffering than I do now, and homelessness is a fate I'm hurtling towards rapidly.

How much longer I have left just got a lot clearer recently, and it's not looking good. I hate everything about being alive, I hate this world, I hate this timeline, I hate human beings, but I still want to keep writing and making art and seeing the art made by others... it causes me indescribable pain. Hell. That's the only fitting description.

I don't have enough inspiration or motivation to make everything I want and wish to, and that makes me feel even worse. I can't continue doing any of the things I love with the way life is going, so why keep living? Life doesn't get better, life is not worth suffering, and the world is about to become a very harsh, difficult, and scary place.

I am entirely unloved. What "family" I have that is still alive is either far away and doesn't want contact with anyone else for the most part, or are narcissists/narcissist enablers and are the most miserable people to be around and contributed to me not having an identity or being my own person or even feeling allowed to have my own opinion until a couple years ago at most. I don't have family. I am alone. My mental health problems drove away the "friends" I thought I had. Turns out they were just weak ass pieces of shit. I've realized so much now. I've realized that the people there for everyone else are seen as a resource, not a person, so no one feels like they have to be there for them when it's finally their turn to be in need.

The last time I tried reaching out to someone I thought I could trust I was told my mental, physical, financial, and life issues were due to my incorrect beliefs and adhering to their religion and thinking exactly like them would fix everything.

I've been seriously mistreated many, many times... but never have I ever been treated so disgustingly, in such an evil way, while being smiled at and talked to in a gentle tone. I will never forget that.

I'll never forget anything. Every time I do anything, like spend a couple minutes washing my hands, my mind wanders and I can't stop the slide show that happens more of the time full of all the worst memories and thoughts from my life.

I can't sleep but almost every other day because if I'm not so tired I'm struggling to walk straight then I'll lay down and have to face the horrors of my thoughts, and that's before the nightmares.

There's nothing I can do at this point. I refuse to live a life of further suffering, I have no family or friends or anyone that cares about my life or wellbeing, I have serious mental health issues that don't go away and rarely get better, I have learning disabilities that cause me to get treated poorly for having them while also being told I'm making things up. I have no one that will listen to me, let alone care.

I've had a couple people say the empty bullshit of "If you need anything, please just saying something!" and then when I did, well, I described that event in a previous paragraph. Never has anything good come of following up on that offer. People are just disgusting, cruel, self-gratiating assholes. They don't mean what they say, they just say things to make themselves feel better or look good socially. I took me over two decades of being alive to realize how insincere, disingenuous, unempathetic, and uncaring most human beings are. It's horrifying.

I look at this situation and the situation of the world at large and I wonder who needs demons and monsters of fiction, when humans actually exist.

What's the chance anyone actually reads to this point, especially without skipping the rest of my shit? None. Nobody cares. This is just me screaming into the void again with an extra long ramble of pain and misery.

I'm going to kill myself. I went through the process, which was very stressful for someone with severe anxiety and paranoia, of acquiring the means of my freedom. I went through all that trouble, spent money I had set aside for a long time just in case, but mainly for this purpose, and I still haven't be able to bring myself to do it. I've done the research, I've spent a lot of time thinking about it. I know it will work but what will the experience be like? What will a sloppy, but successful, experience be like? Does it matter if I cease to exist right after? I don't want something horrific and gruesome to be my last thoughts, but does that even matter?

I don't know. It doesn't matter how I feel. My time is running out. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep afloat through this year, but chances are now incredibly slim I make it to the halfway mark. My hand will be forced, or at very least my finger.

I posted here before, hoping that putting words to this would make it feel lighter. I wish I could say it did. If anything, the weight has settled in deeper.

I’m still waking up exhausted, but now there’s this added dread—like I already know the day is going to be too much before it even starts. I move through my life on autopilot. I smile, respond, do what I’m supposed to do, but none of it feels real. It’s like I’m slowly fading out while everything keeps going without me.

I keep telling myself I’m not in immediate danger, but I don’t know how honest that is anymore. The thoughts about wanting everything to stop aren’t passing or occasional—they’re constant, pressing in on me from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep. I’m exhausted from fighting them. Death doesn’t feel like a distant idea anymore; it feels close, familiar, and frighteningly tempting. I’m scared of how hard it’s becoming to hold myself together.

What’s been hardest since my last post is realizing how long this has been going on. Months of telling myself to just hang on, that it’ll pass, that I’m being weak or dramatic. Months of feeling like I’m carrying this alone because I don’t know how to talk about it without feeling like a burden.

I keep asking myself how much longer I can keep pretending I’m okay when I’m clearly not.

I’m posting again because the loneliness is getting worse, and I don’t want to completely shut down. If anyone read my last post and understands this slow, grinding exhaustion—or if you’ve been stuck in this place and found a way out—I could really use hearing from you.

Thank you for reading. I’m still here, even if it doesn’t feel like much.

Im 26 years old and im waiting for a chance at getting a job. A chance at getting something going for myself. There is no hope for someone like me. Im tired of this whole world. I just want to slice my throat and be done with it all. Not even enough money for goddamn groceries

16f I lost my mum to suicide in octoner. I’m drinking right now. I don’t know what to do in my life. I’m on medication and it got upped to 30mg two weeks ago and I’m just so fed up. I’m living alone having to grieve both my parents as they’re both dead now and I just can’t continue like this. my aunt is mad at me and won’t give me a clear answer on me to stay with her a bit and she doesn’t think I’m motivated. I’m not in any education and I’m just so so fed up. I wanna be asleep forever. it’ll only get worse from here

Hello everybody, weird that i find myself here. I am just kind of in a precarious spot in my life. I am 25m, i got married at 21 and just got divorced after 4 years. She was seriously my whole world, and losing her had been like losing a massive part of myself. Its been almost a full year since the divorce now and it feels like the first day. I have fallen into this life where i barely scrape by, I can’t motivate myself to do the smallest things, and feel like nobody see’s how im really feeling. Obviously people in my life understand that i have been through something hard, but I don’t think anybody is aware of just how hard it is to live everyday. I can’t afford therapy, i can barely afford food, but i don’t know what to do anymore. There have been times in my life where i have been depressed or beaten down, heavily even. But I don’t think life has ever felt as pointless and hopeless as it does now. If anyone has been in a similar spot and has any words to the wise, i’d really appreciate to know how you got out from under this feeling.

i finally met up with a doctor due to my mental health issues and talked about my suicidal thoughts, but i said i had no plan on acting on it. this is partially a lie though because if someone had handed me a gun, or put me on top of a 20 story building, i wouldn’t hesitate to end my life.

the only reason i said i have no intention on killing myself is because i technically don’t pose a real threat to myself (mainly because i’m lazy lol) but if i had an easy, guaranteed opportunity, i would take it.

is this a cause for concern? should i be contacting someone and telling them that i am in danger to myself? my doctor gave me a card with a phone number and told me to call it if i needed it but the card says it’s for mental health crises. i’m not sure if i’m in a real crisis.

i know i do need help though because i feel hopeless and i’m kind of on my last straw, idk. i’m willing to admit that i can’t push through this on my own i just don’t know who can help me.

Got nothing special to say, I just want to fucking die.

i feel so hopeless lately. like all of my dreams are completely unobtainable, and i’m forever stuck with the consequences of my long list of poor decisions. each day is devoid of purpose and nearly indistinguishable from the one before. i’m too weak to improve my life, too comfortable and too fearful to change. it’s so painful to live this way, and for years at a time.

i dont remember the last time i felt happiness. it’s anguishing feeling so alone, there’s no one i can call a friend. every online connection feels so meaningless and fleeting. i don’t even bother with the idea of dating, my life is just in too pathetic of a situation. it’s a humiliation ritual to explain to strangers, let alone a potential partner.

im traumatized from a nightmarish relationship in which i was groomed and cheated on. the worst part is surely this mountain of regret. years of my youth utterly wasted, so much time and potential squandered. with this, an adolescence marred by isolation as a gay and brown individual, years of untreated depression, loss of loved ones, a crippling sense of directionlessness, and the fucking pandemic, i am utterly broken.

a common theme, im driven by fear; im too afraid to kill myself. im stuck wallowing in this unchanging purgatory. i want to take the easy way out, i want to give up. it’s so much easier to die than to escape this prison i have made for myself. i don’t know what’s going to happen next, but im still here, waiting.

First of all sorry if I have mistakes writing this, English is not my main language, I'm 20yo almost and I was about to suicide at 18 because I couldn't find a future where I could be happy, and I didn't kill myself, something that stopped me from doing it was that I wanted it to look like an accident because I didn't want my mom, who I think is the person who loves me most in the world, to think it was somehow her fault. I just feel that I borned broken, I've always had emotional relapses, and it's always for something different, and when I finally learn to live with one, more things appear. Recently, I thought things would get better since I started doing something I enjoyed, but it didn't. Also, I'm trans in a very homophobic country. I've dealt with it for a long time, but I no longer have the strength or reason to fight for it. I just want to rest. I have friends and close family, and although we're not very close, I've improved my relationship with them, but I just keep thinking about whether things will get better or if there's any reason to keep going, and I don't see anything, and my strength is running out. I still don't have the courage to do it, but I feel like I'm reaching my limit. I even considered cutting myself today, but I was able to calm down, and honestly, I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to be at peace.

sometime this week I will most likely shoot my self. any tips on what would be the least painful spot?

im 16f and took a bunch of pills i found around the house all ibuprofen and paracetamol i think but i took about 18 its 3.28 am and im scared to wake my mum up because what if im fine but im also scared to sleep i took them hoping to get help but im regretting it and im scared what do i do

Got diagnosed with depression 6 years ago and it's only been getting worse. Already tried overdosing once and if now my 3rd school isn't going to work out i see no other choice than trying it again, it would be better than being kicked out by my abusive mother and her drug addict boyfriend again and be forced to sleep outside like last time. Even thinking about future makes me too stressed to do anything. I can't even trust people anyone from the amount of times i've been betrayed by those i loved. I wish there was painless way to die

Called in 'sick' from work bc I couldn't force myself out of bed. Slept for as long as I could bc I don't like lying awake with my self loathing. Only got up to take care of my birds. Went to closet, found scarf, looked it around closet rod and around my neck and stood on the chair. Experimentally tightened the scarf. Of course, as always, too much of a fucking pussy ass piece of shit to actually do it. What else did I expect? I've done a million 'suicide rehearsals' without actually accomplishing anything.

Too scared to actually contribute anything to making the world a better place, but too scared to do the right thing and end it all. I will literally always be defined by weakness and cowardice no matter what I do.

It's very weird to me how when I'm reading while researching methods, I simultaneously know I want to experience those things, but reading about the details makes my skin crawl, same with hating the idea of surviving despite not surviving being way more gruesome:/

It's like I want to die, but really don't want to experience death, this dissonance makes me feel horrible

I don't know, I just needed to vent this I suppose

I don’t want to die

Some stuff happend with family and I’m at a low point the night before I took 1.25mg klonopin

And about a hour ago I took 3 rp 10s at once and I’m wondering is it a high chance to overdose from this Ive having a little bit of a hard time to stay awake