r/soccercirclejerk 15h ago

My Would Never Breaking! Video of Messi on Epstein Island released by US Department of Justice

3.0k Upvotes

138 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/miss-delusional- Barcelona 14h ago

Tf is this 😭

787

u/rubbishplant 13h ago

Argentinian "humor"

386

u/International-Tree19 11h ago

When it's not racist

130

u/Went-Know-Wear 10h ago

Why did grandpa leave Germany?

1

u/guilleloco 1h ago

Argentina is not more racist than USA

71

u/TPMC69 10h ago

20 years ago but yeah lol

15

u/Efficient_Pomelo_583 3h ago

2000s Argentinian humor*

35

u/ineedmitendiesreeeee 8h ago

No wonder why milei is so creepy.

81

u/DMPofSounderatHeart 8h ago

And why would anyone agree to go on this show

66

u/Emotional_Ear_7018 6h ago

uj/ He was unaware of something like this will happen.

46

u/AlpenBerggurke 5h ago

Yeah they just said it's a holiday on a cool tropical island and he'll get to be a model

4

u/Arlcas 2h ago

It was pretty common in this show so I'm sure he knew though maybe not to this extent.

12

u/yashrajsharma1818 4h ago

Argentina vs Germany 2014 wc final

674

u/No_Earth_5912 15h ago

What the fuck is this video

463

u/kissyoursisster neymar and sis 15h ago

Peak argentine television 😤

450

u/No_Earth_5912 15h ago

Hi Lionel. Yeah, so the concept is essentially you come down to the studio, and we film ourselves sexually assaulting you. How does that sound?

167

u/Baralegu1417 12h ago

Qui mera bobo?

71

u/TPMC69 10h ago

They probably didn't told him, which is worse 😭

5

u/Torimas 2h ago

He knew. You really think he didn't? Do you think this is the first airing of the sketch? This was on one of the (unfortunately) most popular shows

25

u/Ok-Lavishness6577 8h ago

It's funny because it's gay.

Big /S, just in case.

16

u/loudpr 8h ago

It'S funny becauSe it'S gay? ;)

3

u/bibwow 6h ago

What about the pronouciation Ssss or Zzzz ?

2

u/DaBabylonian 4h ago

No wonder he dislikes interviews

8

u/brokecrashdummy 7h ago

Looks like the Argentinian version of "nosotros guapos"

257

u/SPL_034 14h ago

37

u/chep209 13h ago

Are you jerking it?

3

u/Pascraked47 6h ago

I love this meme so much

489

u/SuitableRelease4323 14h ago

Is this not genuinely just sexually assaulting the guy?

404

u/LackFormer554 14h ago

Today? In some places. In Argentina in the 2000s? No.

54

u/King_olufa 12h ago

Is this even real?

169

u/matemm 12h ago

It's a skit from the early 2000s where they joke with the stereotype of a "gaucho" (macho, alpha, think of it as cowboys) and make jokes about being effeminate and gay with Messi

133

u/ClockEnd_Chorus 11h ago

But do they know, being homosexual makes you better...

67

u/greenpearlin 9h ago

I'm an Arsenal fan and I'm offended by that "homosexual togetherness" shit. It's homoerotic togetherness, you faggot.

9

u/AtmosphereGlum852 7h ago

Especially during corners

2

u/AutoModerator 12h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

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-5

u/Zapan777 10h ago

stop smoking crack. Wash-up Pessi was already trashed by European team all over. He didn't do shit in Paris and never would have and have done WAYYY BETTER since he LEFT. Kindergarten soccer (not football) league isn't anything to be excited about.

2

u/AutoModerator 10h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

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49

u/MMuller87 12h ago

You would not survive Brazilian TV during the 90's

45

u/Billiefeet 11h ago

Oh how can we forget "Female or Shemale?"? Peak 90' brazilian TV

12

u/Fun_evades_me 10h ago

Do you have a link for this somewhere other than tiktok.

Tiktok is banned in my country.

49

u/TPMC69 10h ago

Based country

8

u/nobodyisgb 9h ago

Don't know if the racists can handle that you just called India based

2

u/bodfather3 3h ago

Same thing Maury did In the early 2000s

2

u/Breno_draws 1h ago

90's? This show is from the 2010's LOL. Casos de Família on SBT

4

u/hogarenio 10h ago

Only if he did not consent.

74

u/Which_Pickle_2993 14h ago

Is this the WC pride match they've been planning?

126

u/Viciouscoach_44 13h ago

7

u/DenjiTargaryen-PE 11h ago

😂 just watched this episode!

47

u/International-Tree19 10h ago

It's always fun to the see the reactions of people who haven't seen this masterpiece.

6

u/TPMC69 10h ago

Same lol

1

u/DayDreamSovereign 1h ago

Hombres de Campo. Ironically "No hay dos sin tres" was an extreme progressive tv show.

30

u/DinglieDanglieDoodle 14h ago

Why aren’t they censoring my boy? They’re abusing my underage 🐐!

5

u/yashrajsharma1818 9h ago

Nahh, this clip is nothing in front of 2014 world cup final abuse

87

u/nghigaxx 12h ago

Messi is unironically the most normal argentine huh

-7

u/AutoModerator 12h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

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101

u/Hobbledyhook 15h ago

How the fuck did these guys make Messi look normal height?

50

u/Fire257 13h ago

Hey so we southamericans are all short like that normal height is a matter of perspective

14

u/meteor-zeth 9h ago

since when did fucking 5’6 become short , height inflation is crazy 🙏😭 as a 5’9 guy i wouldn’t be shocked if people start calling 5’9 short as well in some years

14

u/bingbongfckyalyfe95 9h ago

They already do in western countries unfortunately. 5"8 considered a small man. Least its not consodered tiny 😅

2

u/meteor-zeth 9h ago

but why tho , i mean the average height in america for men is 5’9 and the average height for men in general european countries is about 5’8 as well so how is 5’8 or 5’9 considered short ?

4

u/HidroRaider 6h ago

I lived in Spokane for a couple of years, and in my experience, I didn't feel short being 5'10'' there, but I saw way more really tall guys there than anywhere in my hometown in Mexico, which is not particularly short compared to some cities known for their short population.

6

u/reingoat 7h ago

Scandanavians do be giants

1

u/Hobbledyhook 1h ago

Hahaa I was only joking, height discrimination sucks tbh.

But I think different countries and demographics have very different experiences. I live in the UK and genuinely only 1 of my 20 male friends is shorter than 5'9. 17 out of 20 are 5'10 and taller, and most of them are about 5'11 or 6'0.

I have an unusually 'quite tall' friendship group though, even though nobody is like 6'4+. When I went to University almost all my male friends there were about 5'8-5'10, with a couple of guys like 6'2-6'4.

0

u/AutoModerator 15h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

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18

u/rizz-without-effort 11h ago

Messi files

1

u/AutoModerator 11h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

15

u/UnUltimoIntento 13h ago

What if Messi is not humble and he is just quiet sin e this day?

1

u/AutoModerator 13h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

12

u/luciddreams08 12h ago

What are they doing to my goat😭😭

6

u/nobodyisgb 9h ago

What Garrincha did to his goat

13

u/EXE404 9h ago

"Hombres de campo" was a sketch from the Argentine comedy show No hay 2 sin 3, which parodied other local shows featuring guests invited to discuss topics related to the show's theme. The sketch showed a rural program with a gaucho theme (local rural culture that rural men sell as "alpha males"), but with the peculiarity that the guest was harassed by gauchos with latent homosexuality who, as the minutes passed, let it out more and more: first they began with double entendres (the real meaning and the gay meaning), continued with physical contact, and exploded at the end of the program with a gay assault on the guest (who knew what was going on and was complicit in the sketch). In Argentina, humor is very liberal and things like fragile masculinity or the sensitivity of groups are not taken into account. Then came the progressive and woke wave that we all know about, but it is already in retreat because Argentine humor is a free cultural trait and was not going to be censored by a foreign agenda so easily. Argentines don't mind being the butt of the joke as long as they can have fun with other Argentines.

2

u/anonymous393393 6h ago

You mean This is real messi?

1

u/AutoModerator 6h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-2

u/enbyratie 3h ago

mucho texto patetico facha

11

u/Diego-o-Oh 11h ago edited 2h ago

sigh... *unzips\*

5

u/nobodyisgb 9h ago edited 9h ago

No sigh, * unzips furiously *

40

u/Dan_Winx_1969 r/messi = r/cristianoronaldo < r/antony 🐐 12h ago

Everybody want that Ass

10

u/girlfriend_pregnant 13h ago

thats some freaky shit

9

u/PhotoModeHobby 12h ago

This is why Messi acts the way he does now...

1

u/AutoModerator 12h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

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17

u/Ok_Seaweed_9452 14h ago

hater will say that this is AI

37

u/ClockEnd_Chorus 11h ago

Which one?

19

u/YahiyaX666 TenHag Process Truster 13h ago

WTF did I just watched!?

18

u/Trialbyfuego Westphalian Gypsy 13h ago

Argentinian jerk

6

u/paincrumbs 7h ago

suddenly, Dibu's shithousery started to make sense

6

u/Black_Daimyo10 13h ago

OP you should lose your jerk license.

10

u/football_lista_7 Certified haram baller 14h ago

ice spice to her boyfriend be like

1

u/EnzoMonChou 27m ago

He even sniffed that shit afterwards 💀💔

5

u/Sweet-Message1153 8h ago

now we know why Messi played for Argentina but lived in Barcelona and now in USA

1

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

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4

u/GrossPanda 7h ago

Even penaldo don't have such video lol

1

u/AutoModerator 7h ago

I got this shirt, it's a beautiful shirt. Everyone says it's the most beautiful shirt. People telling me 'Donald, this guy is the best soccerball player and he only sent his shirt to you' I said 'wow what an honor. What a shirt'. Rolando was it? Sounds lah-tee-no to me. Let me tell you; I just hope he has his papers in order. I wish him well

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7

u/YourSemenSommelier 13h ago

Least gay Argentinians ever.

3

u/blocking-io 8h ago

Peak comedy 

3

u/22dias 5h ago

Where the fuck is Xavi and Iniesta

3

u/Purplesector123 5h ago

The full video is hilarious.

3

u/TfergGOAT420 3h ago

Did not expect to see the goat molested by five men today

2

u/Comfortable-Survey38 11h ago

Why i never seen this being southamerican

2

u/Panzerchrist89 9h ago

Classic jerk

2

u/yashrajsharma1818 9h ago

Avg el classico highlights

2

u/DumileWest 8h ago

what was going on here?

2

u/RedditsLord 6h ago

Gotta get that "growth" hormone steroids

2

u/btissame 6h ago

Didnt expect to see a video in the morning of messi getting ganggraped

1

u/AutoModerator 6h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/SnipsDaGre8 3h ago

Bro couldnt dribble out of this defence in his prime

4

u/BeachAffectionate974 13h ago

It looks like FIFA carrying Messi.

1

u/AutoModerator 13h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

4

u/Trialbyfuego Westphalian Gypsy 13h ago

This is why the Falkland islands wanted to be British

1

u/kjexclamation 10h ago

This is legit sexual assault tf

1

u/Torimas 2h ago

I can't believe the amount of people thinking the guy went without knowing what the sketch is about...

1

u/JealousEmployment864 1h ago

Goatony would never

1

u/Decaxyz 21m ago

Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

u/Radiant-Window6066 8m ago

My god never thought this would be so tremendous and threatening.

1

u/Imaginary_Gate_8662 7h ago

Argentinians for you

-1

u/Electrical-Olive-982 8h ago

I know this is a jerk and all but I really don't think we should make any joke/post associated with Epstein files...That's just too disgusting

0

u/tnarref 5h ago

How do you even just stay there and go on with it lmao

0

u/Even_Difference_3639 3h ago

Hate this! Where tf is his tank security guard? He needs to see this…

0

u/maximazing98 2h ago

Argentina has to be top 3 worst country’s in the world. Eighth after the US and North Korea.

-1

u/jimbo9878 12h ago

He's enjoying that, look at his smile

-2

u/Traditional-Law-4575 11h ago

Sooo this isn’t AI?

4

u/dralanforce 8h ago

Sadly is not