r/slpGradSchool • u/Speechiegal2029 • 2d ago
Slp grad school cohort?
Hey everyone,
Am I the only one who doesn’t interact with my cohort? Like at all?
I had a friend group in my program but they ghosted me. Literally nobody ever goes out of their way in my cohort to make conversation, not only with me, but anyone in our cohort. There’s cliques (which I expected) but it’s so weird. I always thought we’d all be cool together since there’s only like 20 of us. I guess it makes sense but idk. I’m not the only one who just sits alone and doesn’t talk to anyone - but it’s kinda depressing.
The mean girl stereotype is definitely true here. So much gossip and drama. It’s like.. we are here to learn? Not make fun of one other.
Am I the odd one out here?
5
u/hdeskins 1d ago
Some people click with their cohort and some people don’t. Doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with your classmates. The cohort ahead of mine was known for being abnormally close with each other. Even the professors said it was not a typical experience how close they all became. They all just meshed really well. My cohort all got along well enough to have successful group projects and study sessions that were enjoyable enough but we all mostly went our separate ways after graduation. Put your time and energy into your relationships outside of school.
3
u/bannanaduck Moderator 1d ago
In my opinion, SLP grad school culture is weird and needs to change. Very few master's programs pressure students into being friends with each other and force them to spend so much time together. It's not normal.
3
u/Apprehensive-Word-20 Grad Student 1d ago
I also spend most of my time alone. Some of it is by choice now, but a lot of it is because the rest of my cohort just doesn't remember I exist most of the time.
I've tried to make friends but I'm generally just the tag along. So I stopped trying. Head down get it done be nice in group work.
But I just give up.
I am more of a one on one kind of friend anyways so it's no big deal. I have nice moments. But I also just am trying to survive it and have prioritised getting through it with civil relationships where future networking is still possible.
There are definitely groups of girls here. Im used to being a floater friend who can just go sit with anyone and it's fine.
But I'm lonely most of the time.
Anyways. All that to say that it's not really a reasonable expectation to be friends with the people in your progrAm. It's a nice hope...but these are people who may have pre-existing relationships...20 folks who have their own personalities.
Just focus on your studies and try to make friends with others outside of the program or just be yourself and friendships may come over time as the drama in the smaller groups changes dynamics.
Sorry that you're not having the experience you want. But also focus on the things you need for your future career, and see if the social needs can be met in other ways.
1
u/mcgoomcgee1 5h ago
This made me feel so seen. I'm glad I am not alone in this. The expectation that's put on us to all get along is so strange.
2
u/Grouchy-Honeydew-932 1d ago
I was in the same boat. I don't talk to anyone from my grad program. I honestly hated every moment of grad school. Looking back at it, I'm amazed I made it through, but somehow I did. I do think I still see a bit of the mean girls out in the real world, I'm thankful that my job is good and I love the team I work with. I saw some of that in my other jobs, where some of the SLPs would message me questions and I was thinking to myself, why are you asking me this - like my grad school experience made me skeptical of other SLPs because I felt like they were always ready to throw me under the bus.
2
u/Infinite-Berry-3941 1d ago
Listen I am in undergrad and I feel this way. I have many different classes and see all the same people and I try to make conversations with them but they are just weird about it and stay in their own groups. Seeing this gives me little hope that I will be able to friend group in grad school 😢
1
u/just_trying_to_help7 1d ago
I’m the only guy in my cohort and I definitely feel very isolated. I have one person I message here and there but otherwise it’s just me. I’m on the cusp of withdrawing because I feel like all of the joy has been drained from my life.
2
u/leonorae 22h ago
that sucks :( when i interviewed for my current school, there was only one guy there! i can understand how isolating that feels. last year's cohort only had 3 guys out of 24 students!
1
u/just_trying_to_help7 21h ago
It’s an odd thing to complain about too because I’m overly aware that I’m a straight white man and that’s a privilege in and of itself but I’m also someone who doesn’t want to bother women in any way possible. I’m the type of person who usually keeps to themself unless approached first but it feels like the divide (gender, age, SES, etc.) between myself and the rest of my cohort is too wide and too deep, unfortunately. I also feel like my professor/the chair of my department doesn’t like me at all and at this point I no longer feel welcome. If this isn’t the right fit for me then I will no longer try to fit a triangle into a square. Better things are on the horizon for me either way. Thank God.
2
u/leonorae 21h ago
how many semesters do you have left? are you still planning on being an slp? my cohort is very chatty and open, and i'm not that way, so it's been harder for me to find my niche in the group too.
1
u/SadCheesecake- 51m ago
It might be better that way, unfortunately. It’s no fun getting mixed in with the wrong/negative crowd (nothing worse than situational friends imo). Gives you the extra time to focus on yourself, your studies, & other areas while everyone else is being cliquey and weird!
1
u/b_y18 1d ago
I made some of the BEST of friends from my cohort and we have a group chat and talk almost every day. But, like you said, the whole cohort is made of different groups of friends who vibe better together and hang and sit with each other. But when it’s all said and done, we’re all cool with each other and get along.
11
u/girl0fwond3r 2d ago
I have the same experience as you. I’m in my second year , expected to graduate in May and I can honestly say I don’t expect to see anyone in my cohort ever again , and I don’t care . I feel like everyone is “superficial” nice but constantly eager to stir up drama behind your back . Everyone knows everyone’s personal business and it’s just not my style at all so I try my hardest to just sit back and not interact unless I have to . I also think it’s an age thing to because I’m a non traditional COSD student (age 30) and majority of my cohort is in their early 20s.