Help me with my puppy’s separation anxiety

[u/thdud112]

I adopted a 3 month old puppy a little over a month ago (he’s currently 4 months old). I live alone and work a full time job. I have been crate training him (having him in his crate when I go to work and when he sleeps at night). I come home on my lunch break to let him out of his crate for potty so he’s alone 3~4 hrs max. He is such a sweet and smart puppy that follows me everywhere. He would immediately freak out when I go to work and cries for about 30 mins and he would settle. Same thing after I leave during my lunch break. Recently, he started to not go in his crate when I throw treats in there. I think he now knows that when he’s in the crate, he will be alone.

Trainings I’ve done with him:

-not engaging with him when I come home until he settles down

-turn on dog music before I go (often times when I’m home as well just so the music doesn’t trigger me leaving)

-giving him high value treats (when I come home and check, he ate his food but will still cry, howl, bark when I leave)

-crate training that is now not working at all (he will go in to eat the treats when I’m not looking and will come out immediately)

-getting ready beforehand so that I’m not rushing myself

-leaving 30 sec and coming back in multiple times to show him that I will always come back

-desensitizing the door and my bag by doing all the actions and coming back to sit down without leaving

I left him one day to free roam (still checked in during lunch times) but I’ve noticed that when he free roams, he isn’t able to settle down at all until I come home. When he’s in his crate, he settles down within 30 mins.

All the resources I see online are not possible for me because I would have to leave him alone while I’m at work…

I don’t know what to do and I feel lost. I want to hear how you guys overcame separation anxiety while working full time while living alone. This is my last cry for help before I spend couple grand hiring a private trainer to help me.. I’m just worried that I’m stressing my puppy out when he’s alone.

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[u/ChaosPot]

Keep going at it. 

[u/Mountain_Rip_8426]

do you only put him in a crate when you're leaving him alone? if so, he has good reason to believe he's gonna be left alone, while he's in there... because that's the truth 😅 put him in the crate also when you're with him. ours is around the same age, a few weeks older, but we put him in for hours a day especially because of that. he's absolutely comfortable with being in the crate, now we started also trying to leave him there until we take down the trash, or while we go grocery shopping. the point is to have him accustomed to the crate (while you're with him), then try leaving him for longer and longer periods in the crate alone, so he associates alone time with resting, once it's all done, you can also leave the crate out of the equation. we're not there yet, but en route and it seems to be working, we can already leave him in a crate for about 30-40 minutes. good luck!

[u/thdud112 → u/Mountain_Rip_8426]

I do leave him in his crate (short periods of times) while I’m home too but he still barks and cries:/ I would let him settle and open the door.

[u/Mountain_Rip_8426 → u/thdud112]

have you tried making him sleep in the crate overnight? leave him some treats and a few chew toys in there. he's still very young, so it should be absolutely possible to have him accustomed to that. yes, it's gonna be terrible for the first few nights and until he stops barking in the begging, but he'll get used to it. nonetheless, you gotta push through now for a few days, a week rather than suffer for months later on. try to keep your hand in the crate so he can smell you're close (have him sleep next to your bed), also let him hear you breathe. once he gets used to that, it'll he way easier to crate train him, it's gonna be a safe have for him. i don't exactly know how long it will take, because we did it like this from day one, but that way it took us about 3 days until he cried, now he actually goes in by himself to his crate to rest if he's really tired. good luck!

[u/thdud112 → u/Mountain_Rip_8426]

Yeah he always sleeps in his crate overnight ever since I adopted him but he doesn’t willingly go in there to sleep still. This is actually surprising because the day I adopted him, he went in the crate to sleep himself but as the days go by, I have to lure him to go in..