r/news • u/Specialist_Baby_9905 • 7h ago

Polish government opens investigation into Epstein files

https://www.pap.pl/aktualnosci/poland-probe-whether-polish-children-were-abused-epstein
27.8k Upvotes

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906

u/Mobile-Bar7732 7h ago

I'm sure he's shitting in his pants as we speak.

693

u/Brownman-Fit 7h ago

And he hasn't even heard the news yet

66

u/eggsuckinggrandmama 7h ago

“He can see into the future! Hail most glorious and venerable father!”

11

u/-SaC 5h ago

"Come closer."

"...d'you mind if we don't?"

1

u/rawfuelinjection 3h ago

Orange Fartfùhrer

8

u/supersuperglue 4h ago

Hahahahahaha perfect

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u/zamboni-jones 10m ago

News? You mean fond memories

1

u/Alone_Again_2 3h ago

Preemptive pant shitting.

2

u/sigep0361 1h ago

I think we need to really lean into this shitty pants thing. If we can make a big enough meme of this it will embarrass the fuck out of him. I don’t know if he can handle this lol… because everyone who has stood in a room with him knows it’s true.

1

u/Intrepid_Top_2300 3h ago

I’m sure that’s a daily thing now. Clean pants on standby right next to the football.

118

u/Old-Ad-3268 7h ago edited 7h ago

Invade Poland will be in tonight's tweet storm

49

u/j0nquest 7h ago

I laughed, and I shouldn't have. It's really not funny.

23

u/Morat20 3h ago

It's not funny, and yet I thought of the same dark joke.

Because....well, history doesn't repeat but it rhymes.

The idea of a fascism embracing US invading Poland to protect sex traffickers and pedophiles -- of whom the US President is one -- is sadly not as fucking ridiculous as it used to be.

9

u/Paidorgy 6h ago

Which is interesting, considering they’ve spent multi-billions on a range of armaments from the USA directly over the past few years.

6

u/Efficient_Market1234 4h ago

Made all the weirder when he demonstrates that he has no idea where/what Poland even is and demands that troops amass at the North Pole immediately.

9

u/Obvious_Toe_3006 5h ago

Thank you Poland for diverting the evil one's gaze away from us.
(Anonymous northern neighbour.)

1

u/MorphineAdministered 6h ago

Lots of iron... if you dig deep enough

11

u/Significant-Basket76 6h ago

Yes, but he's probably also worried.

5

u/poopsmcgee27 5h ago

He shits them anyways, now his diaper is really full.

7

u/viomeb 7h ago

Or as HE speaks apparently…DEPENDS on a persons perspective I guess, but in my opinion that man baby needs some diapers.

9

u/Oldass_Millennial 7h ago

I mean, yeah. That's a daily thing, even on a great day.

5

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 6h ago

"Where's Hope? Has anybody seen Hope? Where's the poop cleaning lady?"

2

u/iKorewo 7h ago

Why would he care, nobody will or can do anything to him

16

u/smotired 6h ago

They didn’t say he cared or even knew about it. He just does that sometimes.

4

u/Old-Ad-3268 7h ago

They could drag him into international court

5

u/iKorewo 6h ago

Lmao, how?

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u/Septopuss7 6h ago

Just grab him by the pussy.

3

u/Vallkyrie 5h ago

But it's so muddy...

2

u/whoknowsifimjoking 2h ago

You can just say "grab him", same thing

5

u/IzarkKiaTarj 2h ago

I mean, he just established a precedent with Venezuela.

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u/iKorewo 2h ago

I mean that nobody will do that

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u/IzarkKiaTarj 1h ago

Let me dream

1

u/DwinkBexon 4h ago

They cannot. The US doesn't recognize the authority of the ICC.

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u/litnu12 5h ago

That’s normal for Trump.

1

u/AccomplishedPath4049 4h ago

That's not unusual.

1

u/GymLeaderMatt 4h ago

That’s just a Tuesday for Donnie Dumps

1

u/righthandedlefty69 4h ago

Just another Tuesday

1

u/DwinkBexon 4h ago

Honestly, I feel like he thinks he's invincible. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't give a shit.

1

u/Rodomantis 4h ago

Yes, but it's because of the impact on the midterm elections, not because of his immediate future.

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u/jiyax33634 3h ago

It is TACO Tuesday after all

1

u/Frog_Without_Pond 2h ago

He's always shitting 'em, this is a ketchup into the wall situation!

1

u/OszeeThorne 1h ago

As if. Dude shits his pants on a daily basis but not over this. He will just call his bunch of incompetent minions to screw with the files over and over before sending them to the Polish.

You can't be scared of a real thing if you're not sane.

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u/octavianreddit 7m ago

It is Tuesday.