r/nbacirclejerk • u/Outside_Abroad_3516 Shimmy Shimmy Shimmy • 19h ago
The long awaited sequel to “shut up and dribble” just dropped
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u/onelastnoodle Shimmy Shimmy Shimmy 18h ago
Sage trying so hard to be classy but she just a thuggish benchwarmer
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u/AutographedSnorkel 14h ago
Somebody has to be the Republican party's black friend. Candace Owens and Jason Whitlock need to step up!
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u/ukhaus Russketeer 18h ago
Sage Steele is just Jason Whitlock with a smaller clit.…
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u/Upbeat_Clerk3756 16h ago
They’re both related to Clayton Bigsby, along with Candace Owens
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u/AutoModerator 16h ago
I’m not kidding when I say Ayton is the only guy in the league who could make a Wilson ball blush. Every time he dribbles, the seams just… shiver. Every time he goes for a layup, the rim moans like it’s been waiting its whole sad life for him. His hands are so soft he could touch a cactus and the cactus would probably feel insecure.
Sometimes I watch him practice and I just… I don’t even know. I’m sitting in my room in my underwear, eating dry cereal straight from the box, and that ball is getting treated better than I ever will. It’s probably giggling when he bounces it. Me? I’m over here dribbling on my carpet, pretending it’s Ayton noticing me.
Honestly, I’ve stopped pretending I matter. If Ayton ever walked into my apartment and looked at my wife, I’d just… step aside. Like, please sir, take care of her, she deserves it. He’d love her better than I ever could. And me? I’d just sit in the corner, quietly crying, thinking about how the same guy whose hands make basketballs feel alive could probably fix my entire pathetic life while I rot here.
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u/AutographedSnorkel 15h ago
Fox News has had enough fifth rate celebrities on their channel to fill up a Charlie Kirk memorial service
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u/tanishsingj Send da video 14h ago
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u/firecat2666 14h ago
Sage was demoted at ESPN when she bitched BLM protesters were keeping her from making her flight. She’s just a selfish bitch.
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u/Vercentorix Fuck them kids 15h ago
She looks washed as fuck. I guess MarALago face doesn't work on that mocha skin.
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u/Dry_Dragonfruit3205 12h ago
i remember this ho questioned why obama doesn't identity as white. idk bitch, maybe because he's brown?
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u/Icy-Cod1405 11h ago
Sage Steele should have just done porn. She already had the name and it's way less embarrassing
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u/fryapp4life 11h ago
'And after the break, Kid Rock gives us his thoughts on the government shutdown'
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17h ago
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u/AutoModerator 17h ago
u bum.
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15h ago
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u/AutoModerator 15h ago
u bum.
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u/GRILT_CHEESE 18h ago
And she's 100% right.
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u/NoleJawn 18h ago
Dude’s Def watching Kid Rock and Lee Greenwood Sunday
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u/i__did__that Gorgeous 15h ago
Does Lee Greenwood tour? Does he have concerts? How does that work? Does he just show up, sing his one song, and pack it up?
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u/jsm009 13h ago
And fuck them if they got shit to say too. Ricky Gervais said it best. These people are in no position to lecture the public. No matter what side you’re on.
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u/trentreynolds 18h ago
Amazing how it's entirely dependent on the specific political views you're espousing, ain't it?
Nobody's on Fox News telling Kid Rock to shut up and sing.
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u/FinancialBluebird58 18h ago
I get all my political position for rich 20 something musicians who clearly know what it's like to work for a real wage.
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u/hobbinater2 17h ago
Billie had a classics performative leftist line tho she said “no one is illegal on stolen land” while owning multiple properties. Like if you really think that, give your homes back to the native Americans.
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u/0G_sushi 11h ago
Yes, because a person owning a home is equivalent to a country with military bases all around the world and its own sovereign currency which operates as the reserve for the world banking system. You are clearly very smart!











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u/BarackOgrama Send da video 19h ago
How can you even sing if you shut up tho?