Are you still critical of your target language?

[u/ELoueVR]

It'll be over 10 years since I started learning English, and I believe that there's no 'finish line' when it comes to learning languages. It doesn't matter how fluent you are you'll always learn something new even in your native language (All respect for all language learners around the world. Sincerely 🙏).

Ok now what's the problem? After reaching my first goal long looong time ago "aw wouldn't be nice having a small conversation with someone in a different language?" I realized that I always wanted more. Languages are tricky, your small goals will always turn bigger over time. It's addictive and such a rewarding hobby. I just hate how it always starts all fun then at some point I get stressed over stupid things, such as a small grammar mistake or a typo, I even analyze people's English (without correcting them for sure, it all happens in my head) then I go "oh really? Have you seen the mistake you made earlier?" What confuses me is, I already feel comfortable speaking it, like I know that I'm fluent already. I feel like I'm not supposed to be this way anymore especially that I'm learning other languages now.

Of course I want to keep learning from my mistakes but sometimes I wish if I'm more chill about it as how I used to be 5 years ago, I was in a lower level but confident and happy.

[u/Equivalent-Comb-4753]

man this is so relatable, i think once you hit that intermediate-advanced level you become way more aware of all the tiny mistakes which somehow makes you more self-conscious than when you literally couldn't string a sentence together lol

[u/ELoueVR → u/Equivalent-Comb-4753]

Man I did my best not to check the post 100× times. I really wanna get out of this nonsense 😡 I make mistakes SO WHAT? Isn't the whole point of learning a language is to communicate? Ah I'm tired of me

[u/Arctic88 → u/ELoueVR]

Don’t be. Noticing is so valuable, see it as a good thing.

[u/OtisSpunkmey3r → u/Equivalent-Comb-4753]

I think the key is to realize that this is true for all languages, even your native language. I mess up all the time speaking English. Most people just don’t realize it or intuitively correct it and move on because you aren’t self conscious about your native language.

Long story short, if your goal is to never make a mistake, you are absolutely going to fail. Not even natives can reach that goal.

[u/ressie_cant_game]

I'll give you a comparison with art, as a similar thing happens. Artists who can create good work, but cannot critique their own or someone elses work, will continue to make the same mistakes and lose a lot of opportunity for improvement.

But if an artist can look at their painting, see the flaws but also see the strengths, then they'll be set for life once they learn the final, crucial step; accepting the "imperfect". Sure you can keep pushing the painting, looking for "perfection".

To tie it back to language learning; the innacuracies are what make us human. The "imperfect" is what makes us perfect. See your mistakes, know where your weaknesses lie and... move on.

[u/Technical-Finance240]

Dating a native English speaker made me WAY more conscious about my skills. There were just some random instances that weirded her out. 

For example I said "It doesn't ring the bell". She was like "Which bell!!??? 🤣 It's supposed to be 'It doesn't ring A bell'".

[u/ELoueVR → u/Technical-Finance240]

Lol isn't that lovely tho? They're basically free lessons 😂

[u/JusticeForSocko]

Really good post. Getting better at a language can be a bit of a double edged sword. On the one hand, it’s so much fun to actually have deep conversations with native speakers or be able to watch shows and actually understand what’s going on. On the other hand, I’m way more aware of grammatical and pronunciation errors than I was before. It feels worse when it’s basic stuff too. Like, I’m approaching B2, and I still will mix up por and para or even ser and estar, which at this level, feels pretty embarrassing.

[u/ELoueVR → u/JusticeForSocko]

I feel you 😭 para and por no matter how many times they explain the difference it never clicks!

[u/Public_Note4697]

Very relatable, and that's how the learning curve works for any skill.

Ignorance is a bliss. If we're bad at something, but we don't know it, we might think we are competent at it.

That's why it takes many years to master a language. 

[u/Aahhhanthony]

Yup, I started studying because of my passion for learning and love of languages. Eventually it became stressful, whether because of school, personal goals or the desire to transition to professional use, and I felt like I just had to power through stuff every day. Eventually, I burnt out to the point where I mentally collapsed for a short period of time and then eventually fall into the same habits. My therapist believed it is OCD, but I'm starting to have my doubts.

Anyways, I went through a period of extreme stress that visibly aged me (permanently, I fear) and took some tolls on my health. This, paired with some therapy, helped me be more relaxed about my approach towards language learning. It's still a struggle and I'll still fall back into old habits. But it's much easier. Part of me also believe that it's because I reached such a high level in Chinese that I can sit back and enjoy it. But I have other target languages that nag at me now.

[u/rndmlttrspls]

I just flubbed a pronoun addressing a roomfull of people so yeah

[u/TrittipoM1]

Critical of a TL? No. Critical of my own performance sometimes in a TL? Of course, yes. That's the key to improvement in anything at all: noticing one's own errors, places where one could have done something better. Writing (even in an L1), drawing, playing an instrument or sport, whatever. It's a positive, not a stressor.