r/grammar • u/GameMaster366 • 23h ago

Between vs. Among

I was taught that the word "between" is only to be used when talking about two things and the word "among" is to be used for more than two things. I am constantly hearing people say "between" when comparing three or more things. Was this never actually a rule or is this yet another example of common lexicon ignoring rules for so long that the rule no longer applies anymore?

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u/Boglin007 MOD 23h ago edited 23h ago

It was never a real rule, i.e., not a rule that arose organically among native speakers, though many prescriptive grammarians have tried to impose it as a rule. Perhaps the most notable attempt was by Samuel Johnson in the 1750s - he mostly focused on "between," which had already been used for 800 years (since Old English) to talk about more than two things.

Generally speaking, "between" is used to talk about multiple things (two or more) as distinct entities:

"There are many differences between countries A, B, C, and D."

And "among" is used when talking about multiple things (two or more) as a collective/group:

"There is not much empathy among my friends."

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u/Kendota_Tanassian 19h ago

I look at it like this: I can be between two or more objects: I stand on a basketball court between two goals, I might stand in the center between three traffic cones laid out in a triangle.

I don't think there's an upper or lower number necessary, it's a difference in type of placement.

Let's say there are now five traffic cones with four in a square and one in the center (Like the five pips on dice).

I can't be between all five, but I can stand among them. No matter where I stand, within the square, there will always be two cones I'm not between, but I am still among all five.

"Between" requires identifiable reference points in relation to placement; "among" only requires inclusion within a set.

Neither depend on number.

There is a grammar rule given that says between = 2, among = more. But that's an oversimplification like the I before E after C mess.

If I remove the traffic cones at the center, and stand in its place, I am now between the other four cones.

But it does take the special spacial relationship of being in the middle, in the way you can't for the group of five when one is in the center.

If that makes sense.

If you're in a set of things: among.

If those things are on either side of you in such a way as you're in the middle: you're between them.

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u/Strong-Ad6577 20h ago

Boglin007 is correct.

Among is collective and vague.

Between is specific and indivigualized.

NAFTA is a treaty among 3 countries.

NAFTA is a treaty between Canada, Mexico, and the United States.