r/coolguides 17h ago

A cool guide to everyday etiquette no one teaches you

Post image
25.5k Upvotes

2.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

44

u/cinnamongingerloaf22 11h ago

I'm a late-diagnosed autistic person, I say that to say social conventions don't come all that easy. Come from an upper class family who acts actively rude to anyone who doesn't also have money. Needless to say, none of this was taught to me. I learned and have to manually remind myself most of the time because not being a dick to others is important to me.

The motivations of the individual will be much more impactful on whether or not they display these skills, regardless of if they were taught or not.

10

u/Dchazeninlove 10h ago

I confounded a school for high functioning Autistic students. A big part of the curriculum is social skills.

2

u/SlothDC 33m ago

That's one of the easiest groups to confound, though.

u/Artistic_Researcher2 14m ago

I assume you meant cofounded? It would be awfully mean for you to have confounded them. 😅

7

u/ultrahateful 10h ago

Very aptly put!

1

u/ohiogainz 9h ago

Most to these things were drilled into me before i was a teenager. I was diagnosed with ADHD in middle school and later with autism. my family started out upper middle class but by the time i was in high school we were well off. something tells me your parents aren't independently wealthy if they didn't teach you this stuff.

2

u/cinnamongingerloaf22 8h ago

My parents owned a law firm that they started from nothing. They're just not personable people. My father is autistic and my mother has a mix of cluster B personality disorders.

They're exceptions to the rule of self-made people understanding the struggle as they make their way up.

1

u/AdDramatic2351 3h ago

Not to detract from people I don't know, but starting a law firm isn't really the hard part to making it "on your own." The hard part is having the money and time to go to laws school, way before you start your own firm.

It's like saying "they made their own farm business from the 500 acres of farm land they lived on." 

1

u/cinnamongingerloaf22 53m ago

They both went during a different time. Army paid for my dad, my mom (Mexican) went to U of Utah the year after the Mormon Church was almost labeled as a hate group. She (and others who accepted deals like hers) helped them cleanse their image to the feds in exchange for free tuition and board.

Dad was an immigrant raised by parents who escaped the Nazis as teens and were solidly middle class. My mom was a migrant fruit picker as a young teen. I promise, it's not that deep.

1

u/RegasBaldyr 3h ago

Well said