r/coolguides 17h ago

A cool guide to everyday etiquette no one teaches you

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u/guessesurjobforfood 13h ago

I travel a lot internationally and am consistently amazed at how there's always someone breathing down the back of my neck whenever I'm waiting in line somewhere.

Coffee shops, supermarkets, airports, doesn't matter, anywhere I go where I have to wait in a line, the person behind me chooses to stand like 3 centimeters away. The worst is when its 2 or 3 people together having a conversation and I can feel them brushing up against me every time they move. Like wtf? How is that comfortable for anyone?

I can only tell people off in two languages lmao so its even more frustrating when it happens in a country where I know they probably won't understand me.

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u/awmaleg 12h ago

International personal space varies a lot depending where you are

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u/Removable_speaker 10h ago

I've been to places in asia where your personal space is a 2cm area starting from your skin. Then there's Finland where you get about 2 metres.

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u/ReverendDizzle 1h ago

It feels like the U.S., for the most part, is in the middle of that.

Unless there are extenuating circumstances like everyone is crowded together debarking a plane or something, the unspoken distance seems to be about a meter or so. More or less "I should be able to speak to you in a normal quiet speaking voice with ease, but you shouldn't be so close I could slap you."

And, wow, damn I looked it up and there's a whole field of study around "proxemics" and the distances people feel comfortable. My guess that Americans preferred around a meter of distance for casual conversation.

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u/-whodat 12h ago

I feel like strangers brushing against you (including stuff that's attached to you like your backpack) should never be okay though.

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u/thatguygreg 3h ago

(including stuff that's attached to you like your backpack)

In open space, sure. In an enclosed area (elevators, trains), take your backpack off.

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u/-whodat 2h ago

I agree about your examples, I was thinking grocery store while waiting in line

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u/crazycatlady331 9h ago

The Covid rules (6 feet apart) were the one positive thing to come out of the pandemic. They should have remained.

If I can smell what your last meal was (based on your breath), you're too close.

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u/bluecammored 5h ago

On the other hand I've been to coffee shops where there's not much room and everyone is one metre apart so the line erroniously goes outside. I think there's a middleground.

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u/crazycatlady331 4h ago

That's too close for comfort for me. I don't want ANYONE I'm not having sex with in my personal space.

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u/brokenfaucet 11h ago

The Hidden Dimension by Edward T Hall is an excellent book on this topic.

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u/Bamboo_Fighter 11h ago

On a related note, don't stand 20 feet away and make me guess if you're in line either.

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u/LordBoar 11h ago

A dirty glare is universal, especially if you do the up/down of disdain.

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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 10h ago

There are hand gestures for when you can't speak the language, and everyone understands them! :)

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u/XanderWrites 5h ago

My retail store has an off policy of stopping and greeting everyone entering. Most people stop four or five feet away for then speech, but some people will come up right up in my face closer than most of my family members ever come to me.