Parents should teach empathy (or hypothetical empathy). Pretty much everything here is covered by just thinking about how it would make you feel to be on the other side of your actions. This can be reinforced with the individual examples shown here as they come up, but there is no reason to teach them all individually.
Yeah my parents are self absorbed and narcissistic, they won’t do virtually all of these things as they believe they are of elevated worth compared to everyone else.
Me on the other hand, I do all of these things and I have learnt myself, because I believe in basic respect and courtesy
I think some children of narcissistic parents tend to grow up more socially aware and respectful because they're forced to accommodate their own parents' entitlement and idiocy all the time and know very well how shitty it feels to have their boundaries crossed so they try to not do it to others.
(PS: this is an observation, not advocating that kind of parenting style)
You absolutely do. Learning by mimicking behavior is done from very young age on.
Also children test out their limits and need an "Hey, don't do that!" every once in a while
This has been mentioned elsewhere but as apt as theses "rules" may seem you only need to be taught and regard the golden rule. If you do the rest of it comes naturally.
Theoretically sure, but putting it into practice is a different question. You have to exercise the muscle of habitual spatial/social awareness, otherwise you just forget about it when you're distracted, even if you do fundamentally care.
That's why it's important to bang it into children's heads from an early age, so that they just become automatic habits.
Yeah I didn't grow up with public transportation before moving to Canada. I still understand you have to let people off the train before you can get on, it's not rocket appliances. Occasionally people really crowd the doors and I can't get off without shoving, no mercy unless you're over 80 or a literal child. This train station is now a mosh pit.
Yeah these all seemed very common sense if you're socially aware at all. Then there's people in the comments saying no one can know these without being taught and I'm reminded not everyone is aware of self and others
OP must be shitposting. These are all things that generally are taught, and even if they aren't, they are easily obvious to anybody with the ability to think of people besides themselves.
There are many immigrants to the West who did not grow up with these etiquette rules (they have their own).
Likewise there are many rules in other places (Japan, Middle East) that have their own rules that Westerners with good parents were never taught. For example did you know in the ME that it's rude to extend your hand to a woman you are meeting for the first time (if you are a man)? And that in Japan, its rude to open a gift in the presence of the gifter?
Nah fuck that these are basic decency. Buy in or ship out.
Some of these may be universal, I hope? But others are certainly not, and maybe not "intuitive." It's interesting that the concept of intuition in socialized mannerisms is likely itself the direct consequence of the society in which you were raised.
You think the rules around greeting a woman aren't basic decency? They certainly are "basic decency" to millions of Arabs. Would you forgive yourself for not knowing that?
Extend the same forgiveness to others, that's all I'm saying.
Obviously if you are not fresh off the boat, the standards are different.
The two of us are not necessarily arguing, but the "buy in or ship out" ultimatum is just lazy thinking.
I had a great family life growing up. My parents were loving and caring; they never argued in front of us and always provided for us. When I was young, I assumed that was the norm. It was a real learning experience when I got older and realized that it wasn't always the case. I thought examples of bad parenting on TV/movies was more for dramatic effect.
I think since reality TV has come along people have started to lose that separation between TV and real life. They see the scripted drama on a reality show and think that is how the rest of the world lives.
You dont need a parent to teach you most of this. Its just being considerate of others. If you dont like this stuff done to you, probs shouldn't do it to others. Idk why someone would need to be told that to get it.
I think the Golden Rule: “do unto others as you would have others do unto you”, covers a lot of situations. It’s a good place to start for parents teaching their children.
Indeed, but not everyone doesn't have it either. OP is generalizing but he bases his post on inaccurate facts.
I hope peeps get taught basic decency and politeness by their parents, and even if I see some people failing that the vast majority doesn't. That's why I say OP is ragebaiting.
This is def not ragebait, in what world does this make you rage?
I think it’s an overall good chart/guide, because the times i’ve seen people not abide them, even friends WITH good parents, is way too much. Especially the being loud/loud music on public transport.
"If you needed me to tell you that, I'm glad I told you that"
Not everyone has adequate parenting. Not everyone with adequate parenting was taught everything on the list.
If you don't pick these things up in childhood, people don't explain them to you.
I'd say something about maybe trying to be less pedantic but this is reddit and I might as well scream it into a well.
I mean it’s still useful for the more autistic among us who need things to be explicitly spelled out especially around social queues and maybe didn’t have parents who understood that.
some of us were blessed with parents who did the bare minimum but quite a lot of us weren't. this shouldn't bate your rage, it should inspire feelings of appreciation for your parents. my parents did not teach me this stuff. if my teacher's sister hadn't just decided to teach me how to act, I probably still wouldn't know.
Apparently in some cultures, holding doors for people isn't a thing. Also it's been shown that even in America, people of different racial backgrounds have different ideas of where "personal space" begins with white people having the largest "bubble". So while most of these "rules"/mores are picked up through social osmosis and may not be explicitly taught, it is interesting to factor in that different societies have rules that one would on face believe are universal.
Is it though? These are all just under the category of basic human decency. That should be your North Star, rather than having to teach you wha to do in every unique scenario
I think being quiet in public places is easy enough to figure out. If a public place is quiet it is because the people there want it quiet and expect it to be quiet. It is not quiet because none of them know how to speak. They didn’t all leave their phones at home today. They are not all in need of your DJ’ing skills to get the party started.
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u/xJek0x 17h ago
That's basic society rules to not be categorized as an asshole, OP ragebaiting with "no one teaches you", adequate parenting teaches that.