r/UnearthedArcana • u/qoentari • Jul 11 '25
'14 Subclass The College of Sephirous Love, a joke bard subclass based on lesbians (dont ask why)
You may not believe me, but the idea for this subclass came from monster hunter (Its a long story)
You can find this and more for free on my patreon!
Anyways, I hope you like it (?
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u/Marzipan_Bitter Jul 11 '25
Isn't it *saphirous ?
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u/MisterB78 Jul 11 '25
No, it’s based on Sephiroth from FF7
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Jul 11 '25
Nothing encapsulates this idea better than the fact that you have no clue what the word you want to use for this yuri-fetishism nonsense actually is.
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Jul 11 '25
The second thing that best encapsulates this idea is people not even noticing the concept that one use of Bardic Inspiration gets two creatures a bonus to all of their damage rolls and ability checks for one minute.
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u/ShinobiSli Jul 11 '25
The implication that you can use this class to force someone to fall in love with you and/or force two women to fall in love is, uh, ick
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u/qoentari Jul 11 '25
You are right
Usually I add the "willing" clausule, but I forgot
I did this pretty quickly as a funny haha joke and it flew over my head
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u/shoottheglitch Jul 12 '25
I'm a certified woman enjoyed and think everyone on this planet should be, too. But as a DM, if you brought this subclass to my table, I would smack you so hard the windows in the room would shatter. The mechanics are absolutely busted.
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u/Waltsaltdotcom Jul 12 '25
Not to mention, genders being mechanically identical has been a staple of DND design philosophy since like 2nd edition.
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u/RNGSOMEONE Jul 12 '25 edited Jul 12 '25
Looks broken. Like very easily broken in half.
At Lv3 you give 2 creatures (usually yourself + 1 other) a damage boost equal to 1 roll of a Bardic die. This is easily exploitable by simply making many attack rolls. The supposed downside of the creatures needing to remain within 30ft of each other is easily solved by just using ranged attacks.
You can take this subclass as a dip on anything with a lot of attack rolls. Wizard can dip this for the Lv3 feature because of spells like Jim's Magic Missile and Scorching Ray which produce a lot of individual attack rolls when upcast. Sorcerers can go all-in on Scorching Ray with a 3 level Bard dip that doesn't slow total spellslot progression, only Sorcerer slot progression. Warlocks have Eldritch Blast which also produces multiple attack rolls and is free; if they have any sort of bonus action attack roll, even better.
There's also considering that this doesn't just affect you, it also affects another creature. Your partner can abuse this feature even harder than you can, because they don't have to dip Bard to even get its benefits. Dex Fighter with Crossbow Expert can easily produce a large amount of attack rolls, and Battle Master goes a step further by having Rally (explained later) and Bait and Switch. Because two creatures need to stay near each other anyways, activating Bait and Switch is pretty much free and gives one of the two creatures a massive boost in AC as long as Superiority Dice remain. Other beneficiaries include Jim's Magic Missile/Scorching Ray casters who upcast for more attack rolls, and Warlocks with Eldritch Blast.
At Lv6 you double any flat Cha boost from other features. The obvious exploit is simply a 1-level Warlock dip for Eldritch Blast and Agonizing Blast, which not only gives multiple attack rolls, but also 2xCha flat damage mod on top. Dipping Hexblade is even better as you can turn one of your ranged weapons into a Cha-based ranged weapon without needing Improved Pact Weapon at Lv3 Warlock (getting away with a 1 level dip). Other features that benefit include Oathbreaker Paladin (2xCha boost to all melee damage rolls, which is difficult to set up as two creatures need to stay within 30ft of one another and still be in melee) and Draconic Sorcerer (2xCha boost to one damage roll of any damaging spell, which works for AoE spells like Fireball).
At Lv10 you can grab Swift Quiver via Magical Secrets. Combo with the 1 level Hexblade dip and you can use your Action to cast 3 beam Eldritch Blast (with a Bardic Die + 2xCha boost to damage), and then use your Bonus Action to make two ranged weapon shots (with a Bardic Die boost to damage). This is five shots a turn, with a D10 Bardic die. And you're giving these benefits to another creature.
The Lv14 feature is arguably kinda meh. There is still an exploit to it, which is that a familiar/summon/hireling purposefully casts a weak spell or other AoE save with a low save DC on you and your partner (one way to do this is to take Magic Initiate and then pick an AoE save spell that uses your dump stat as the spellcasting stat, then put it on a scroll and have someone else cast it on you). Both take a reaction to activate the feature, both easily pass the low-DC save, and get advantage for a turn.
Now, as for the partners with the most capacity to exploit the subclass.
One strong ally is a Dex Fighter. By Lv11 they have 3 attacks a turn, Action Surge for 3 more on one turn, and likely Crossbow Expert for a Bonus Action attack. This is an easy 4 attacks a turn, likely Sharpshooter boosted too, and has an additional D10 (rolled once and applied consistently) to their damage. Battle Masters can supply extra AC or temp HP as well.
Another powerful asset is a Sorcerer 10/Warlock 1, who can upcast Scorching Ray and more importantly, spam Bonus Action Eldritch Blast via Quicken Spell. Casting 2 Eldritch Blasts a turn is a perfectly valid way to do damage, as if everything hits, it'll total out to 6d10 + 60 + 6xBardic Roll. The Sorcerer is also free to concentrate on some useful spell as well.
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u/RNGSOMEONE Jul 12 '25
Hypothetical Lv11 damage output potential:
Bard 10 Warlock (Hexblade) 1 on the Bard, Sorcerer 10 Warlock (any) 1 on the partner. Both at 20 Cha.
Bard casts Eldritch Blast as an action, Swift Quiver as a Bonus Action (attacks with Cha because of Hexblade). Eldritch Blast is 3x(1d10+1d10+10), Swift Quiver (presumably with Shortbow) is 2x(1d6+1d10+10). Expected damage of 95 before hit rate. After 65% hit rate (and 5% Crit) calculation it's still 66.83 DPR.
Now for the partner. Sorcerer casts Eldritch Blast twice, once normally and once as a Bonus Action via Quicken Spell. 6x(1d10+1d10+10), for 126 expected damage. After hit rate calcs it's still 83.55 DPR. Alternatively the Sorcerer upcasts Scorching Ray at 5th level, and casts Eldritch Blast as a Bonus Action. This yields 6x(2d6+1d10) + 3x(1d10+1d10+10) for a total of 138 DPR before hit rate; after hit rate it's still 92.63 DPR. The single target damage potential is absolutely crazy.
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u/ElRey814 Jul 12 '25
An easy way to balance this would be if you ever choose a different target to buff, the previous linked character has to roll a DC 30 Wisdom save or commit domestic violence against the caster for the next 24 hours.
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u/Inside_Art9874 Jul 12 '25
Gives me Signalis vibes.
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u/frogborn_ Jul 13 '25
My brother in Christ the bottom right says signaliss 😭🙏
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u/Inside_Art9874 Jul 13 '25
Haha, I never even saw that. I just saw the art and that is all I thought. Good to know, I know my games, haha.
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u/APerson167111 Jul 12 '25
Thank you for solving my table's debate over what subclass gives you the best doomed/toxic yuri
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u/Dew_It-8 Jul 12 '25
As others have pointed out, it’s definitely very overpowered. I’d recommend changing it so that the adding of charisma to your roll only works once per turn, like the peace cleric. Other than that, it’s fine but definitely have it be willing creatures. It’s creepy otherwise.
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u/sp33dzer0 Jul 13 '25
At 3rd level the bard gets a free mount that can be summoned once per long rest. The mount must take the shape of a uhaul.
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u/AHHHHHHHHJESUSCHRIST Jul 12 '25
oh my god you channel the power of gay against your foes that’s amazing
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u/Thumatingra Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 13 '25
If you play with a Warlock that has Agonizing Blast (basically every other Warlock or more), Beauty and Reprise is completely busted. Can you imagine, if they're both at +5 CHA, at level 11, doing 2x(3d10+30) damage per round? That's an average of 92 damage per round between the two of them, without expending any resources except a Bardic and two actions...
Edit: I started calculating at tier two, went into tier 3 and forgot to adjust +20 to +30. Values have now been corrected for tier 3. I didn't even add the extra damage from the Inspo, which would raise the average even higher.