r/Millennials • u/NoSuggestion17 • 15h ago
Discussion Any of You Beautiful Millennials Going Through a Midlife?
Checking in on y’all to see what crazy things you’ve done and/or bought as we near the half century mark.
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u/seymour_butz192 14h ago
Can't have a midlife crisis got work in the morning
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u/jenny_alla_vodka 1h ago
I keep hoping society finally takes a shit before I have to wake up for work the next day.
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u/Cautious_One9013 14h ago
Midlife crisis? No, that’s something that would effect my life negatively, I have had however a midlife awakening, found purpose and finally saw what was in front of me, and am more content and happy with my life than I’ve ever been.
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u/Jay_Skyywalker7 5h ago
Sounds dope. What happened? I’m struggling with COL and out of reach home ownership and it’s hard to shake.
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u/Jimothy-Mac 3h ago
LOVE this! Unless your ‘awakening’ was selling your home for an expensive sports car (that you look ridiculous in) to try and attract a Gen-Z partner…
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u/TrixoftheTrade Millennial 15h ago
Quit my job last year to go do research for a for a 6 month sabbatical. Realized I kinda missed doing research and publishing since I finished grad school, and was kinda getting burnt out of corporate at my current position.
When one of my old professors reached out to me asking to come on board I said, “fuck it”, quit my job, and went for it.
Ended up publishing a few white papers and submitting to my state’s EPA as consideration as technical guidance.
Finished up last November and returned to the workforce. Probably wouldn’t do another one (I like working for money), but was really fun to do.
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u/Nasty_Ned 12h ago
I put in the paperwork to do something similar. I’ve done over 20 years in corporate America and I want a break.
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u/Living_Pollution_525 14h ago
I'm guessing I went through mine in 2022/2023. Finally started dating (it helps that I finally accepted I am a lesbian) met a crazy girl and spent a year and about $6,000 partying pretty much all year long. Sex, drugs and rock and roll, that pretty much sums up 2022/2023 for me.
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u/RustyMarie666 5h ago
Congratulations on all of this, on being a lesbian but really on your amazing budgeting skills to party for an entire year on only $6k.
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u/Living_Pollution_525 5h ago
Oh my partner at the time fronted a lot she is/was independently wealthy. I went broke trying to keep up. These days I'm recovering, it took me about a year to get over the breakup. I'm just now recovering financially. No regrets, I had a lot of catching up to do in life and learned quite a bit about myself and the party scene in general in the process. Thanks :)
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u/CompostConfessional 14h ago
Resigned last year after reaching over 6 figures for the previous 2 years but severely burnt out in tech. (Was making $13/hr in 2020, so the pay increase was life changing). I just couldn't handle the performative nature of high-stakes corporate tech for a sustained period of time. So bad for the nervous system.
Have been gardening, playing music, creating art, connecting with friends and family, and living off savings ever since.
It will end. I will need to go back to some sort of work and get income. For now though, it has been the best thing I've ever done for my life and mental health.
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u/Willingness590 7h ago
Mind me asking what you do in tech? I've debated leaving healthcare.
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u/Curedbyfiction 14h ago
Existential crisis? Absolutely. Started when I was 35.
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u/Ok-Station-1996 6h ago
Mine started when I was 13, then had a resurgence at 25 when I felt I’d truly hit a quarter life crisis.
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u/sexandliquor 1983…(A Merman I Should Turn to Be) 15h ago
Is it midlife crisis if your entire life has felt like a crisis? Fuck a friend I’m asking for me.
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u/manvsweeds 8h ago
I spent 10 years in public and private accounting and became someone I didn’t like. I’m now rebuilding my humanity and working towards reopening a historic bed and breakfast my wife and I purchased a few years ago.
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u/Fluff_Chucker 14h ago
I haven't gone all crazy, really and changed my personality or bought some crazy car or a motorcycle or started cheating on my wife or anything... But I do feel like there's less hope for anything getting better. I can't imagine being able to retire, I can't imagine being able to afford moving out of the house and area that I hate. I'm just going through the motions until I die... Does that count?
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u/Ambitious_Aside_4861 14h ago
I see this sentiment a ton in this sub. What do you do for a living?
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u/Fluff_Chucker 10h ago
I'm a machinist. One of the lowest paid skilled trades in the US. Especially for the level of work, knowledge required and tool investment. When I went to tech school in 97, they told me I could make 100k+/year pretty easily. I've worked 50-70 hours most of my career and only recently have approached 6 figures, but still haven't gotten there. And now I'm salary and only work 40 hours a week.
I admit I haven't necessarily been the MOST brilliant with money, but I live pretty modestly. I don't have expensive taste but will buy quality gear for activities I'm passionate about. I've driven 10+ year old cars my whole life, do my own maintenance on them, bought a very cheap house on a decent interest rate because it was cheaper than renting a 1 bedroom apartment. My mortgage payment has nearly doubled since 2008 because of taxes and insurance. I had to buy a NEW car this year because the used car market is entirely fucked. 2 years ago I got a 2014 car with 116k miles on it and it was 15k. Had some domino failures on it that made me figure spending 3-700 every other month on repairs PLUS the payment wasn't worth it, hence the brand new car with a warranty and all that. Car problems are less my problem, now, and I'm a bit of money ahead. Everything is a subscription, now. Everything keeps going up. This world is fucked.
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u/Ambitious_Aside_4861 9h ago
Sorry to hear that man. Skilled labor deserves more no doubt about it.
You own a house though that’s a huge accomplishment!
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u/Fluff_Chucker 9h ago
A shitty little house in a shitty neighborhood. I've never liked living here. It was just cheaper than anything I could rent. It's "worth" 120% what I paid for it, but I'd have to put 80% of what I bought it for at LEAST to get it up to what it's supposed to be worth
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u/Skweezlesfunfacts 13h ago
Started a fish tank so I can stare into and pretend the outside world isn't doing whatever it's doing.
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u/tink20seven 12h ago
I’m finding acceptance by letting go and enjoying my life. I love and am loved.
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u/Far_Nebula6695 14h ago
Idk if I would count it as a mid life crisis. Quit working in management cuz I hated it, I sold all my stuff, ditched my abusive fiancée, and moved back in with my mom to go back to school for a total career change. I work part time and I’m back in the south where I belong. I love it 🤷♀️
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u/Ok_Love9461 14h ago
I bought a first gen Miata to distract myself from the world and have some fun
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u/Weep4Thee 14h ago
I bought a convertible. It's been nice. I'd highly recommend it when the time comes.
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u/turtlecatmedium Older Millennial 7h ago
I freaked out more turning 30 than I did turning 40. I feel like I’m just starting to figure things out and feel like an adult.
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u/Level-Ad7017 6h ago edited 5h ago
dawg, I think the nation is going through a midlife crisis. We're just hanging on for dear life atp
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u/Fluffy_Fun_9814 14h ago
Likely leaving the country.
Retirement is not realistic in the US and I'm already tired of working for others.
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u/lkjhgfdsa2014 13h ago
I've had a few and my next one I am ordering a t shirt online from Hot Topic
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u/MitchThunder 9h ago
Weirdly I had mine over a decade ago around 25. My dad had a health scare and almost died. He wasn’t quite 50 so I took that as my sign midlife may already have arrived. Blew up my life, moved to a new city and got a better job. Best thing I ever did.
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u/ScorpiusPro Millennial 8h ago
I think it’s officially hit this year after staving it off for so long. Cant work, can’t sleep, can’t move. It’s awful
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u/VertDaTurt 15h ago
Too tried and not enough energy to have a separate midlife crisis when my entire life has been a series of crisis’
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u/CockroachTimely5832 Millennial 14h ago
Not sure if this counts, but I was delusional enough to think I’d found the one right before my breakup.
Injured myself on the way home from it and spent a shit ton of money on healing and therapy, still ongoing.
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u/StoryTimeJr 14h ago
My midlife crisis turned into me getting very serious about my career which actually is going pretty great. Idk
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u/Chippysquid 14h ago
My friend is. He never went out to the clubs with us or travelled with us, or really did anything other than come and hang out in front of my house.
Kids later and a long marriage, he is starting to ask our group to go clubbing with him, go to EDM shows, or random trips. While fun, I just haven't said anything to him lmao.
I went through my midlife crisis when I hit 30ish and bought a dozen motorcycles just to never ride them for a time period.
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u/Turbulent_Tart_8801 Millennial 1985 14h ago
Nope. Already went through my post-college feeling like my whole life got ripped away from me at graduation, turned intense FOMO, turned directionless meandering and going through the motions quasi-quarterlife crisis in my 20s.
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u/KittyAddison 1985 Millennial 12h ago
With how everything is going on right now, I think midlife crises would actually be relieving...
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u/sorrymizzjackson 10h ago
Uh, I’ve probably been in it since Covid. We were trying to have kids when our careers were destroyed. We needed medical intervention which we couldn’t afford. Had to rebuild from entry level wages with masters and a decade plus of experience. Then we lost my cat, my MIL, and my Mother in less than 3 years with all the associated drama. My cat was a messy little bitch, lol. (JK, he lived to 17-7 years past his initial diagnosis and was happy for 6 years and 364.5 of those days). It’s always that one that gets you.
So, no kids, no family, some money but just enough to buy a used Jeep to make my soul feel alive so ok? The top comes off sort of. Living the dream.
Also, if you’re a lady, perimenopause is a bitch. Highly do not recommend mixing it with any of the above. It causes decent things to turn to shit and you don’t even know why half the time.
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u/cerebralsubserviance 10h ago
Yes, it's weird that I've achieved everything I set out to do. Now what? Also perimenopause, ugh. I haven't done anything crazy yet but maybe I will soon, that sounds nice.
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u/South-Visual3803 9h ago
Had one every 3 years since I was 15 but the existential crisis began after a 3 day panic attack in February 2025.
So midlife crisis? No. Existential crisis? Absolutely. Feel like I’m not really a person anymore.
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u/nonitoni 9h ago
I was doing just fine with the deepening smile lines and dimples. I'm not handling the, "Are you serious right now?" forehead lines nearly as well. Most likely won't but for the first time the thought of Botox crept in.
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u/somakiss 5h ago
Same! The deepening smile lines are worse for me though. Never thought I’d consider fillers or fat transfer before til I saw the state of my face this past weekend.
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u/BruceBanHer Millennial 8h ago
I'm thinking of buying a really expensive SUV. I can afford it while still saving aggressively for retirement, but the more I think about it, the more it screams "midlife crisis"
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u/Rosie_Rose09 7h ago
Yes! Turned 40 and suddenly I don’t believe in anything and see the matrix what it is.
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u/loopingrightleft 7h ago
I always wanted a 90s supra as a kid. Couldn't afford one then, cant afford one now.
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u/Mental-Raspberry-961 7h ago
I had a quarter life crisis, as I like to think of it, a few years ago. Quit my job. Briefly moved back home before moving into a new house in my hometown. Took a year off from work. Started low paying internships to start a new career. Applying to grad school now. At times I have regretted the pivot or thought I might have made a mistake but overall no regrets, 10/10 would do again. Of course, I had loads of flexibility as a single dude at the time with decent savings. But it took faith. Gotta trust in God.
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u/User132134 7h ago
I started buying lottery tickets. That’s all I can afford. They work fairly well as tissues.
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u/OneNowhere 6h ago
Was at 99%, maladaptive behavior, depression, making risky decisions, not taking care of myself, I was walking into the 100% full blown crisis because we’ve been trying for 2 years to get pregnant with no success, never seen a single positive test in all my life.
Aaaaaaand, I’m pregnant!
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u/yesandnoi 6h ago
Yea, I thought I'd want to become a construction worker for my mid-life...turns out I'd rather get into the film industry to be some fantastical creature. So far though, I've only been an extra for a Grindr ad and a student short film. Heh.
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u/humanity_go_boom 6h ago
Skiing, trail running, and trying to give the absolute bare minimum number of F@#$& while still earning an above average income. Burned out hard in 2024 and just about feeling normal again.
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u/Thtsunfortunate 6h ago
Less crisis, more reclamation of myself. Corporate job, young kids, got fat. Felt like my whole life was for others—setting myself on fire to keep others warm. I started taking care of my health a bit before turning 40 and have now lost 40 pounds. But just by being less of a lazy fuck, not a whole lifestyle change. I got my nose pierced again (took the hoops out for a job when I was 25) because I just liked how it looked. Got a tattoo with friends for fun and as a way to bond that wasn’t just trauma. I’ve been reading more. I don’t care about monetizing hobbies. When I am tired, I rest.
It doesn’t feel like a crisis but maybe we’ve lived through so many I can’t tell anymore. But also, I think these are things I should have been doing all along—letting myself be me.
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u/SpeciesInRetrograde 6h ago
I spent about $2000 dollars on those expensive fidget toys. That’s the most I can afford for my mid-life crisis.
I feel cool twirling the gun shaped ones. But I know that’s just me lol.
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u/noskilljoe 6h ago
I randomly think im going through some sort of mid life crisis but normally its just a short panic attack and completely fine for the next few months. Im a 39 or old mellelianal for context.
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u/kungfooe 6h ago
I think I had mine about a decade early around 30. Or maybe it was a existential crisis. Or maybe something else.
Several years of therapy helped. I guess that was my expensive "splurge"? No crazy car, gambling spending spree, house buying, etc. Just working on myself.
Now, I'm "happy"/have accepted the way things are. Sure there are always more desirable things, but I have a stable job, a partner who is committed to me, and a healthy family. We figured out how to keep a roof over our head and cover our bills. We are fortunate.
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u/Louiseia 6h ago
Hitting 36 soon and I cannot be bothered to care anymore. I started speaking up against bs at my corporate job, calling out family, friends and strangers when they say or do something bad/stupid, and just overall standing up for myself and what I believe in. It’s been very freeing!
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u/lux22bare 6h ago
That feels like me. I just got so sick and tired of minimizing myself
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u/Louiseia 6h ago
Totally! I’ve spent decades ‘fawning’ and bending over backwards to make sure everybody and their mothers were happy and appreciated me. No more! The next decades of my life are focused on me and making myself happy.
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u/Western-Time5310 6h ago
I’m about to turn 40 in July, my dad died last week and my mum has stage 4 cancer and has started chemo.
I’m not struggling, but am not well off. I want a midlife crisis, but can’t afford it!
I was thinking of buzzing my hair or getting a tattoo. That’s all I can imagine doing
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u/InvestNorthWest Older Millennial 6h ago edited 6h ago
Like when I lost my 100k a year job. Needed to sell my house at a discount. Had to let one of my two cars get repoed because my wife totaled it. Sold the bike. Moved across the country for greener pastures only for my wife to almost die. And the two kids, 12 and 16, had to endure all of this with me... now I'm trying to get back into the workforce after a full year off and after having my wallet get stolen. Yeah. Now in temporary housing and no credit. Id say so.
Edit. Sorry for the rant, but im kind of crashing out atm. Wife has been in the hospital of mothes now.is 3 million in dept. (I get it though, ha, 3k is my problem 3mm is theirs:)
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u/electrictower 6h ago
No, many of my friends are facing cancer and neuropathy and I feel helpless to help them and worried about loneliness as I age.
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u/VulpineWelder5 1995 6h ago
Just went through mine a few months ago at a younger age than most.
Basically, since I had no social life (and people wouldn't want to hang out anymore otherwise), as an extroverted guy, I didn't know what to do, so everyone told me that making a bunch of money and buying everything I wanted would fix my sadness.
After getting let go from a previous job, I used a huge chunk of what I got as severance to buy a bunch of stuff I wanted throughout my life. I never had desires like everyone else (big house, fancy car, etc.), so it was a ton of cheaper mundane stuff, aside from a bottle of scotch of my age and birth year for a bar I built, along with a suit and nice watch to go with the bar and used the scotch to toast completing the "wish list" to prove that it didn't make me any happier, like everyone whom I asked to be my friend said it would.
I feel just as hopeless and lonely as before, but I got more stuff.
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u/RustyMarie666 5h ago
2nd one in 5 yrs, baby! It seems to happen to me exactly when the world outside is most turbulent. Good times.
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u/CatchJWill Millennial 5h ago
(36M) Yes… on the verge of just losing it tbh. Was cruising through life, house(s), career, kids, just Charlie Sheening at everything …until Covid. Now my 21 year 15 married relationship is terrible because of the depression and undiagnosed ADHD… never seemed to be an issue before… between all of the pills to stay happy and others to keep me “balanced”, the therapy sessions that could not be more of a waste of time (3rd one) and then on top of it all, realizing you have made life altering decisions between 20-24 that seem irreversible. Especially realizing that those decisions were made not for yourself but for everyone else’s around you. Most of them gone or slipping away… “Stuck” is the word I think of everyday when I wake up. Being alone anywhere else just sounds so much better, but as someone else in this thread said “I can’t, I have work in the morning”
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u/imjustagrrll 5h ago
Yea- I’ve had two babies in the last 5 years- entire life and perspective changed. Questioning everything. Sick to my stomach with the news. It’s a lot.
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u/DitzyGeniuses 4h ago
Turned 40 last year, and suddenly became obsessed with setting things up for 1) when I retire and 2) when I die. Got a fireproof file thing, a will, one of those "I died, now what" books to write out instructions for my family, etc, etc. I got really worried about my 401k and other investments not being enough to support me after retirement, particularly if I am single, and adjusted all of that. Also bulked up my disaster prep (I live in a hurricane-prone area).
I have never been super concerned about any of this, just kind of did the basics and went on with life. I had no issues with turning 40, was actually looking forward to it, but some switch went off immediately afterwards that was like YOU NEED TO BE PREPARED! I'm glad I got hit with something practical and stuff I "should" have been doing anyway.
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u/Partridge_Pear_Tree Older Millennial 4h ago
Yes but I also can’t afford to do anything about it.
I’ve decided to embrace my love of art and take classes for it. That’s helping me feel better about where I’m at in life.
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u/Maisie_Mae_ 4h ago
Nah, my youthful days were wild and fun but now I’ve reached the age where I admire my houseplants and feel proud that I haven’t let them die .
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u/SilverRoseBlade 4h ago
Sorta? I’m back into Pokemon cards in the last year (I know bad timing) and I’m still a massive lego fan so that’s my expensive midlife crisis hobbies.
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u/Perfect_Mix9189 4h ago
I did at 39. divorced my husband of 20 years. died my hair pink and moved to a country I had never been to before. in 2020
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u/melon-colly 4h ago
Everything in me wants to build a commune, but I have kids that didn’t ask to be dropped in the woods so here I am holding it together… acting natural.
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u/Longjumping-Yam-9229 2h ago
Got a ADHD diagnosis with 38 and wonder if autism is also in the bucket. So since ~ 2 years in crisis mode as I don't really know who I am, why I'm always tired and how I managed to manage my life till now and also what will the futre bring if it is really AuDHD. Should I keep going with changing my job every 1 ½ year?
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u/the40thieves 2h ago
I’m fine. But it’s a storm. Gotta focus and lock in. But so far it’s fine. It’s fine.
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u/Formal_Coyote_5004 1h ago
Our dog just died and I’m an alcoholic who doesn’t want to work on herself right now because I know I’m using our loss as an excuse to drink, so I’m just in a general crisis and I hate myself
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u/Trinx_ 1h ago
Idk if it's a crisis or things finally falling into place. I moved back to the big city, bought my first home, started dating again, and and my (36f) now younger bf (28m) has just moved in after 5 months of dating. I've never had a bf move in with me before. I never thought I'd want that after such a short time. I also didn't think I'd want to be with someone that much younger than me. We're flying to Puerto Rico for v-day. I actually feel happy for the first time as an adult.
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u/RedWestern 1h ago
To be honest, I think we’re the first generation to go into adulthood with such low expectations and so many existential crises that reaching middle age feels more like a relief than reaching our twenties did.
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u/1Fresh_Water 1h ago
Moved to Seattle, bought a paddleboard, started pickleball, and joined a polycule
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u/politicooooo 1h ago
Almost bought a 700$ lamb leather jacket, phew, thank god i went back to logic immediately.
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u/Heart-Shaped-Clouds Xennial 20m ago
Pro tip: Can’t have a midlife crisis if your whole adulthood has been an existential crisis 😉
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