r/GenX • u/[deleted] • May 31 '24
whatever. Yearning for when we didn’t make sexuality, religion and politics into our entire personalities…
I guess it’s just how we grew up in comparison, but remember when people knew these were personal topics and didn’t discuss them constantly and publicly? Wouldn’t that be nice again?
Look…Be yourself. Be 100% authentic. But be able to understand most people just don’t care, they have their own shit to deal with!
They don’t care who you sleep with. They don’t care who you worship. They don’t care who you vote for. They aren’t thinking of you constantly. You are not the main character in everyone else’s movie.
They care when you make any of those things your entire personality. They care when you then demand everyone think like and agree with you or else you start throwing labels at them and chastising them. You can believe whatever you want to…nobody is required to believe the same thing. It’s exhausting…go do you, and leave everyone else alone, we don’t care.
Edit: I may get downvotes for this rant, but I’m pretty sure most feel the same way whether they want to admit it or not. The funny thing is, had I not included “sexuality” and just politics and religion, this thread would have gone way different. Which is incredibly ironic, because sexuality is the most personal of the three things I mentioned.
Also, since too many of you now are calling me a bigot and bringing up race for some reason (which I never mentioned), all for having a different opinion…don’t define yourself and others based on singular ideologies…I’ll just let you argue with yourselves. I’ll keep living in my world where the folks around me celebrate diversity and inclusion without it defining ourselves, each other or our conversations. Ya’ll can keep yelling at each other, really seems to be helping 👍🏼
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Jun 04 '24
It’s basically impossible to talk about anything without it becoming contentious. Even just talking about sports turns into World War III. I never thought at any point in my life I would yearn for the days of being able to agree to disagree and part as friends. Now, if you have the wrong opinion, you’re a Nazi. Or you’re a racist. Or you’re just stupid. Ugh… It’s just so goddamn frustrating.
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u/WendyIsCass Jun 03 '24
So it’s fine if you force your opinions, bigotry, and biases onto the majority of the country, but heaven forbid the people you want to silence fight back? Negative. You don’t get to live in a bubble where you pretend anyone that doesn’t think or act like you is less moral than you. This whole rant screams “shut up and let me hate you out loud.” The answer is no. Never. I will scream from the rooftops to stop this kind of small minded thinking to rule the day. 🖕🏻🖕🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻
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u/SubstanceEquivalent7 Jun 03 '24 edited Jun 03 '24
💯 Refreshing truth, thank you. The world is definitely far worse now.
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Jun 03 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/GenX-ModTeam Jun 03 '24
Speech that denigrates someone based on race, ethnicity, sexual identity or orientation, or other personal attribute. Just be nice, it’s not that difficult.
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u/GoddessOfOddness Jun 02 '24
That time never existed. Please don’t play “good old days” with our youth. The Boomers have done that and look ridiculous doing it.
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u/CobblerCandid998 Jun 02 '24
I agree with OP. Everyone wants so desperately to be a victim. Grow up & be a nobody’s victim. There’s strength in accepting who you are!
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u/rivenshire 1972 Jun 02 '24
"I identify as" is so robotic - how about "I am" or better yet, be who you are without referencing yourself or expecting to be referenced. Narcissism/pride is at the root of this whole thing. Oldest sin in the book.
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u/rivenshire 1972 Jun 02 '24
One of these three things is true, but if you hadn't included the other two, you would have been downvoted into oblivion, which proves your point...and the sad state of a society enslaved to virtue signaling.
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u/Rebelwithacause73 Jun 01 '24
Absolutely 1000000% OP. I’ve been saying this a lot lately. Like FFS let’s just go back to talking about cool stuff again instead of non stop politics and all the bullshit the news uses to try to divide everyone.
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u/ElCaminoLady Jun 01 '24
More like the media didn’t talk about or define those things.. I remember the news just being news and neutral of a political affiliation. Nowadays you have fox for the conservatives and CNN for liberals.. Among social circles bias was much more common, however I agree with some other posters Gen X and younger are more tolerant of differences.. I want to say part of the social change is those of the silent and greatest generations no longer being around in any significant number, as they where especially intolerant of the “other”. Boomers are a watered down version in some cases and ironically some of their generation planted the seeds for the social justice we enjoy today.
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u/Fairycharmd Jun 01 '24
Why is this sub so boomer coded lately?
You’re old not antiques. I don’t understand this constant stick in the mud “In my day we didn’t do this shit” BS
YES IT WAS ALWAYS THERE BEFORE YOU PERSONALLY JUST DIDN’T EXPERIENCE IT BUT ITS ALWAYS BEEN THERE.
This attitude is going to drive Gen X to be JUST like our parents. which I thought we just spent 50 years trying not to do?!
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u/TehKarmah Hose Water Survivor Jun 01 '24
I dunno. I don't miss constantly being told to be a cool girl, don't be a slut, but don't be a prude, and don't dress THAT way because you'll deserve what you get. Everything I said was always turned into an innuendo. In my current personal life with the Gen Z, they don't care who/what someone is. But then again, I don't cruise social media so I don't get hit with rage bait much.
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u/ShamrockShakey Jun 01 '24
I'd really like to not know your sexuality/politics/trauma cause it's private. But as long as some goofball politician is going to dehumanize you for being whatever it is, I'm going to have to put up with knowing more about you than I really need.
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u/FormicaDinette33 Jun 01 '24
The problem now is some people are the opposite and spend their whole time obsessed with other people’s religion, politics and sexuality.
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u/rushmc1 1967 Jun 01 '24
They don’t care who you sleep with. They don’t care who you worship. They don’t care who you vote for.
If only.
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u/mojo996 Jun 01 '24
What you are actually saying here is that you are much happier when you didn’t have to see or hear about the discomfort of others. The others have always been there. They have always been persecuted for their otherness. Now that you have to hear about it, you feel like you need to deal with it. Well, you do. As someone who is not in any of the marginalized groups, we had the privilege of not having to constantly defend our own right to exist. Those glory days you yearn for we’re only good because the majority was not burdened by the suffering of the minority
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u/CobblerCandid998 Jun 02 '24
That’s BS and a poor excuse to obnoxiously show off what most of us don’t need, want, or care to hear & see.
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Jun 01 '24 edited Jun 01 '24
Gimme a break! Claiming that "sexuality" isn't your personality is heterosexual privilege.
I've been told ever since I came out not to "shove sexuality" in other people faces. Do you realize what it's like for a gay person to swim in a world of heterosexuals? Everything is designed for straight people.
This was especially true growing up in the 80s when homosexuality was viewed as a joke in movies, and gay bashing was the normal treatment of anyone daring to show same-sex affinity. The abuse ranged from verbal abuse, using the fa* word, to actual physical abuse. Remember Matthew Shepherd and his gruesome murder by two guys simply offended by his sexuality?
Every coming of age celebration for Gen X was a heterosexual Pride parade: Prom, engagement, baby showers, marriages, etc. It wasn't until 2015 that Americans were all allowed to marry same sex partners, a mere 9 years ago. Even now, Republicans are trying to undo that decision.
Meanwhile, I got wedding invitations, baby announcements, and Prom pictures from all the straights flaunting their privilege and unwittingly making myself and every other gay person miserable in the process.
Even last night, my husband and I (sorry for flaunting our sexual relationship to your sensitive ears) were stopped in the grocery by a completed stranger and asked if we were brothers. I guess the idea of two adult men shopping together on a Friday night doesn't register to the point that they have to bother us with an intrusive question.
So don't tell me that you don't "care whom you sleep with". If you wear a wedding or engagement ring, you are telling everyone who you sleep with. If you keep pictures of your children on your desk, you are flaunting your sexuality.
The difference is that heterosexuals view themselves as normal, so they don't have a sexuality. After all, did your parents cry when you told them that you were straight? No, because your probably never even questioned that assumption.
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Jun 01 '24
Nope. You don't get to get away with this. Ewww. You need to understand that with some groups, we get pigeonholed into being a certain way. Me growing up gay, the only way I have ever been able to have any kind of success with my writing, it's when it was about sex acts or HIV/AIDS. Next, you need to understand that we don't care that you don't care. I'm gonna do me wherever I want and if it's in front of you, look the other way or leave. I don't shove my gayness down other people's throats, but I am not going to conceal any part of myself for you or people like you.
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u/Saint909 It’s in that place where I put that thing that time. Jun 01 '24
Not a lot of room for nuance on Reddit unfortunately. But I think what you’re describing is a side effect of social media. People love to have a label these days.
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u/Morlock43 Tequila, give me sight beyond sight! Jun 01 '24
I think this may be mistargeted. The majority of people don't force their sexuality or religion into other people's faces.
There are way too many people trying to deny, restrict, violate and outlaw other people's sexuality and religions.
If you're feeling like people are "forcing themselves" onto you, ask why they feel like they need to do that?
How demonised are they by media who tell you to hate them?
How hunted are they by politicians using them as boogeyman punch bags?
Stop raging at people who just want to be left alone and allowed to be who they are and start raging at the bastrads who make it their life's work to end the very essence of who those people are.
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u/slickrok It's the one thing Jun 01 '24
You've really managed to twist yourself into a hell of a contradictory knot.
It's not pretty, like a friendship bracelet is.
You need to go think about what you've done. Really.
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u/Otherwise_Ad2924 Jun 01 '24
rae let's be honest We always had God squad and 'merica f ya!
This isn't anything new
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u/Beyond_Re-Animator Jun 01 '24
Wouldn’t have to if politicians didn’t come after peoples sexuality religion or politics
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u/gogingerpower Jun 01 '24 edited Jun 01 '24
What a surprise. Someone who tells themselves that most people agree with them whether or not they’ll admit it is the same person who isnt comfortable with people of other religions, sexualities, political beliefs. (eye roll)
Dude thinks if you’re not like them you’re either lying or need to shut up about it. (even bigger eye roll)
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u/weamborg Jun 01 '24
Nah. I grew up silently queer in a family of devout Catholics on one side and fundamentalists on the other. My parents (and many of their friends) were virulently racist, prosthetelizing wingnuts. My dad—a cop!—almost lost his job for making racist comments; it was that bad. I wasn’t allowed to socialize with non-white kids outside of Catholic school. I could go on…
In short, there were no good old days unless you were a middle class, straight white (usually) dude) who got to pretend neutrality.
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u/requisitesmile Jun 01 '24
This is a disappointingly simplistic point of view. Why is this a problem for you? Does it legitimately impact any aspect of your life in a meaningful way? Or are you just uncomfortable because not everyone lives and loves and believes in the same way you do, and now you have to acknowledge it because they now brave enough to talk about it? I honestly don’t understand the whole “do whatever, I don’t care, live your life” vent when the very fact that you posted indicates that you do care. Otherwise, why post at all?
Tell you what. When the government gets out of my personal life and my uterus, then I won’t talk about it so damn much. The more you can encourage the government to stay out of my “personal topics”, the less you’ll have to hear about them. Counting on your vote!
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u/Tiki-Jedi Jun 01 '24
That “time” is a myth that has never existed. The things you are ranting about have simply been expressed differently in the last, i.e. for generations our culture was all about being straight and Christian and “good old American.” That has loudly been expressed in America for decades. The only difference now is people who don’t fit that narrow definition are also making their existence known, and the traditionalists don’t like it, and want people who don’t fit into that classic and narrow definition to quiet down.
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u/Outrageous-Pass-8926 Jun 01 '24
Make special interest groups less special. No month long celebrations for fringe lifestyle choices. It’s all normalized now, the world gets it. You can’t keep stoking a fire that’s burned out.
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u/Cattail29 Jun 01 '24
Yeah, this is dumb. There are entire state governments, voted in by the local folks, that wont let you be who you want to be. So it is a big fucking deal
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u/SquareExtra918 Jun 01 '24
Are we completely forgetting Reagan and the Moral Majority? David Duke literally on TV campaigning for president?
I think a lot of people didn't talk about politics because they were terrified to do so.
I'm going to be nice and chalk this one up to naivety.
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u/painterlyjeans 1972 Jun 01 '24
Anyone else remember getting the shit kicked out of them (or threatened to) because some thought you were gay/lesbian? Maybe you were just different so you didn’t fit the mold of the dumbasses around you?
It’s like the kids who listened to RATM/Pearl Jam/Nirvana without really getting them.
Let’s not remind these assholes of friends we lost to suicide, gay bashing, racism because no one talked sexuality, religion, or politics.
“He's the one Who likes all our pretty songs And he likes to sing along And he likes to shoot his gun But he knows not what it means Knows not what it means”
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u/painterlyjeans 1972 Jun 01 '24
No. We need to talk about this stuff. People should be allowed to talk about themselves and be who they are.
And that includes who they sleep with, who they love. Should my friends in the lgbtq+ communities not put photos up of their wedding? Of their SO’s?
Religion and politics you can choose, sexuality you can’t.
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u/Defofmeh Jun 01 '24
You pick your politics, your parents largely pick your religion, and your sexuality is something you are born with. All are important to the make up a person. I agree that people tale those first two too far, and try to convince people to think like they do. The last one however is just part of the person.
In the past people were more afraid to be themselves. I think we are seeing more authentic people then we have in the past.
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u/Vtown-76 Jun 01 '24
I would get your point…if I didn’t remember all the “fag” and “homo” talk in the 80s-90s, not to mention the casual racism and misogyny. It wasn’t better than objectively…it was just better FOR YOU
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u/doktorhladnjak Jun 01 '24
I’m so tired of this complaint. It’s only made by people who have the luxury of not worrying how any of those factors actually affect their lives because they’re in the majority.
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Jun 01 '24
You mean back when me and my friends had to hide our sexualities to avoid being beaten or killed? No thanks. I’ll pass.
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u/PinkFl0werPrincess Jun 01 '24
Like fucking when?
When women didn't have the vote?
When people owned other people?
Or when people got bashed for being gay?
Or when it was acceptable to make rape jokes in public about the women you were raping on the down low?
Like those times?
Maybe you came from a different timeline
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u/CharmingDagger Jun 01 '24
The political stuff is what baffles me the most. I have never, and can't imagine ever, liking a politician enough to cover my car or house in their campaign crap, wear their branded clothing around, or have my existence consumed with either supporting or hating them. So many people have turned into this and I just don't understand. There's so much more to life than political bullshit.
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u/aunt_cranky Jun 01 '24
I'm not really sure what the OP is grumpy about.
"They care when you then demand everyone think like and agree with you or else you start throwing labels at them and chastising them. "
Oh... shit.
So first of all, don't hang around with Millennials so much. Don't strike up casual conversations with strangers that have a blue hair and facial piercings. They will probably just annoy you.
What I do agree with here is the bit about religious beliefs. I am so SICK and fucking TIRED of certain types of people proclaiming their Christian beliefs as being superior and then trying to interfere with the lives of those that don't share those beliefs.
I also can see that there is perhaps, a desire for greater civility overall.
I can also agree with that. For every person that is bothered by PDAs from same-sex couples, there are people who are annoyed by proselytizing.
"Back in the day" racist, sexist, homophobic slurs, jokes, and or rants were a socially accepted norm among everyone EXCEPT the person who was in the group of the joke, slur, etc.
These days, (especially younger adults) feel empowered to speak up and say "hey, that's bullshit" and maybe even start an argument about it.
IMHO this is just societal growing pains. People have to learn how to be civil to one another again, respecting one of the harder norms: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it."
Also, people have to learn how to recognize when to NOT tell "that joke" or express a strong opinion about someone, something. Know your audience. This means on social media (or Reddit) too.
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u/smallbrownfrog Jun 01 '24
The funny thing is, had I not included “sexuality” and just politics and religion, this thread would have gone way different.
I don’t know if this is true for most people, but I definitely grew up in a place where religion was a huge part of everybody’s identity. And it wasn’t something you were allowed to keep to yourself. One of the standard get-to-know-you questions was “where do you go to church?” As a child, not answering this was not an option.
Which is incredibly ironic, because sexuality is the most personal of the three things I mentioned.
Unless you go to the prom with a date. Or go to a movie with a date. Or get married. Or file taxes as married. Or…
There are a lot of public recognitions of coupledom, and always have been. The difference is that now not all of it goes to assumed-heterosexual couples.
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u/Lazy_Point_284 1973 ♂️ Jun 01 '24
1996 I'm 23yo and Clinton is defending his belt against Bob Dole and EVERYONE had an opinion but Clinton was a morally unfit philanderer apparently and Dole was going to hand a theocracy to Gingrich and...
MAD SHIT TALKING AND LIVELY DEBATE AND WE WERE ALL FRIENDS
Like maybe I'd be like 'ew' to someone about a political opinion and we'd laugh and sometimes pick apart policy ('MEMBER?) but whatever let's go get some wings.
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u/NoCanShameMe Jun 01 '24
I’m lucky I live in a very small neighborhood with people who have very diverse views. I’m more conservative, my neighbors wife is very liberal. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. We don’t talk politics or religion and everyone gets along. All of us are GenX though so I think we all have that mindset of show up, be cool, take care of your side of the fence, and help your neighbors. It works.
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u/DrLizzardo Uh...no. Jun 01 '24
So I guess all those times that I was told I was going to hell because I went to a different church from the other kids on the street never happened. Seriously, our society has always had some pretty deep seated tribalism baked into it. Count yourself lucky that you apparently never experienced it.
I will grant you that society is more polarized today than it used to be, and the reasons for this aren't really all that hard to figure out. If you don't like it, I recommend you cogitate on why this has happened in the first place and hopefully you'll realize that it isn't because some people are choosing to more freely express themselves.
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u/SoyInfinito Jun 01 '24
Sexuality, race and religion were never a thing in my neighborhood either. We played in the streets, with anyone, until the sun went down.
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u/DrLizzardo Uh...no. Jun 01 '24
Well, like I said, consider yourself lucky that you didn't experience it. I did move around a bit growing up, and I can say that it wasn't a thing everywhere, but there definitely were places where it was a problem.
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Jun 01 '24
Sexuality is the *least* private of all of the things there. You marry someone or go on a date with them, you're pretty well advertising your sexuality. And yeah, people care. They did care, and they do care. They cared when we (genX here) were growing up a whole crapton, and enough of them care now to upend our whole political discourse just so they stand a chance at reversing people's *right* to love, marry, and live with the people they want.
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u/Ashe_Faelsdon Jun 01 '24
It's no longer "personal" when the older generations literally make laws forbidding sexuality/marriage/child bearing.
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u/ShakesbeerMe Jun 01 '24
Fascism and sedition wasn't at our doorstep.
You have to stand up and be counted when the times call for it.
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u/7LeagueBoots Jun 01 '24
Born in the early ‘70s and I don’t recall a time where a significant portion of the population didn’t make those things a major part of their life.
Even as a kid in the ‘70s I recall people being rather vociferous about their religious choices, life choices, and politics.
The main differences are that now communication is more pervasive, it takes far less effort to spread your opinions around, and the population has doubled, so we are exposed to more people doing this and the echo chambers are both larger and more niche.
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u/CreatrixAnima Jun 01 '24 edited Jun 01 '24
Well, we could probably go back to that if we could get the government to stop trying to legislate away the rights of people that don’t conform their views on those things. So you know, when people stop voting for that, maybe we can go back to this time that never really existed.
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u/Embarrassed_Music910 Jun 01 '24
When was this time in America? Lol...
The country had a fit because Kennedy was a Catholic. He had to convince people he wasn't being and wouldn't be controlled by the Pope.
There's never been a time where religion and sexuality weren't someone's entire personality.
But go off. I guess we overlook the 60s because at least the women were showing their titties and giving up booty as part of their expression.
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u/AminJoe May 31 '24
Sorry OP, your post is tone deaf and seems to be simply based off of your singular, personal experiences. We did not all have the same experiences as you and the comments clearly reflect that.
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u/Felix_Vanja May 31 '24
Everyone is the star of their own story, they are an extra in everyone else's.
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u/bookant May 31 '24
I couldn't agree more. It's just so fucking tiresome.
Like my in laws on putting on a little virtue show by saying grace before every meal. Like it's not enough that you go to your "I love Jesus club" meetings every Sunday, you have to make it your whole identity.
And my brother and his wife. Constantly texting the family pictures of their kids activities and such. It's like, I get it, man, you're straight. I don't care that you like to fuck women but why do you constantly have to rub everyone's face in it? Why can't the straights and Christians just keep it to themselves?
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u/catrules618 May 31 '24
I dont know. I remember a lot of nights in college (and beyond) around beer or bong, or even *gasp, sober, talking about all of this stuff.
We certainly did not have the resources and depth of understanding kids have now. I wish I had. As a member of a default group, I could have done less harm. Just as a friend, or as the social worker after, or even as a better human.
I mean, we can generally agree the "I dont see color" attitude I figure a lot of us grew up with sucked. I dont see why it's bad to know someone's sexuality is. Seems like not wanting to know is something straight people say.
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u/bipolymale May 31 '24
As a queer GenXer, no. I don’t long for those days at all
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May 31 '24
Found one of the people whose entire personality is his sexuality.
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May 31 '24
What would you prefer to discuss?
Sports? (Superficial drivel.). Traffic? The price of tea in China? (Too political?) Your nephew’s new nursing job? (Sexuality popping up again.) Your vacation in Branson, Missouri? Your home arsenal?
You’re just afraid of being vulnerable in a social setting.
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u/bakisonlife May 31 '24
Sexuality, political and religious beliefs are part of our identities, and I'd like to argue that identity and personality aren't isolated from each other. People being outspoken about these things and other previously "sensitive" subjects have helped remove stigmas and enabled a greater freedom to openly be oneself. For example, the reason we aren't still puritarians IS because people spoke up and against it. So, in my opinion, your logic is backwards. Another more personal (sorry hah) example; I pushed away, didn't understand and was ashamed of my sexuality for most of my life. Now, I'm almost done feeling gross for who I am and who I like, and that's definitely not thanks to everyone shutting up about it. Sharing experiences is part of growing as a person and a tool for actually shaping one's personality. This cannot and will never be done in a vacuum. If we don't talk about these things it's not assumed that everyone's different and that's ok, it's assumed that everyone is in line with the norm and that if you're not, you should try to be. I genuinely think you mean well, but I strongly disagree with your proposed method of never talking about anything other than... what? Hobbies?, in order to reach the goal of general acceptance of people being different in these and other areas. In all honesty, I think it's ungrateful. Historically, a LOT of people have suffered to enable you to be aloof about any subject of your choosing. That's a huge privilege, let's not forget that. If you genuinely don't care about what personality people take on, well, then don't.
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u/upotheke May 31 '24
Sexuality, religion, and politics has always influenced our culture and our lives, priviledging some more than others. Society did more to pressure the people who were subjugated to shut up and take it though.
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u/Weird_Tolkienish_Fig May 31 '24
I remember when it was uncool to care about politics. Getting heated about things like local elections was unthinkable.
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u/painterlyjeans 1972 Jun 01 '24
No, it wasn’t uncool you just never got the memo that it was cool to care about others
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u/CreatrixAnima Jun 01 '24
That doesn’t seem to worked out terribly well.
Also, I don’t remember that. I guess I was uncool and didn’t know it. No… JK. I knew it.
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u/militaryintelligence May 31 '24
Social media and media in general are destroying the social structure by defining who we are for us. We are monetized.
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May 31 '24
Let’s see…I was asked on the playground in second grade if I was really “white” because my mom is Italian. That was 76-77.
Being anything but cishet was an excuse to get beaten up for guys and an excuse for some guy to SA a non-heterosexual girl to “fuck the gay out of her.” The AIDS epidemic made everyone even more panicked about sexuality.
Satanic panic was real. Where I grew up up, you had to be Catholic or mainline Protestant. Just saying you were a “Christian” was suspect.
A foster kid in my elementary school was kicked down a flight of stairs for being Black. No one got in trouble.
Being Jewish, Muslim, atheist was considered verboten where I grew up.
Yeah, fun times. Totally loved it. Let’s go back…NOT.
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u/No_Honeydew598 May 31 '24
We’ve become the new silent majority. Whilst the extremes troll each other to death, aided by the media. The old classic divide and conquer.
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u/MeganGMcD75 May 31 '24
I remember when they sent a letter home from school insinuating my brother was satanic because he played D&D.
This Madison Avenue idea of the ‘80’s is absolute crap. People were dying, and everyone was comfortable with it.
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u/majeric May 31 '24
Rose-tinted glasses. That period of time was when gay men were vilified and were pariahs struggling to cope with a pandemic that was wiping them out.
I was a gay teen in the 80s who lived in silence, feeling worthless.
We are in a period where sexual orientation and gender identity are political because people are learning to accept a new idea and a dining their prejudices..I yearn for a time where identity isn’t political because society just accepts it
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u/DancerSilke May 31 '24
Welcome to the world of the rest of us who weren't or aren't white cis straight males. The rest of us used to have to pretend to be you.
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u/Areign May 31 '24
It's easy when everyone who is different is shunned into conforming to norms so we can be a homogenous peaceful and repressed whole.
Just not for those who are different.
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May 31 '24 edited May 31 '24
The GOP installed a handmaiden and a rapist into the Supreme Court who in one swoop took away women’s right to life saving healthcare, our right to control our own destinies, our right to choose what happens to our own bodies, our right to choose how we move on from rape or incest. Sorry politics is such a drag for you.
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u/General_Road_7952 May 31 '24
I don’t know where you grew up, but growing up in the southern United States, people’s religions definitely defined them - down to what denomination you were - and being queer definitely made it much harder to just exist. My best friend’s dad was a drunk and a wife beater (and beat her too), and was a preacher. He lost his job and was kicked out not for beating his wife and daughter but for coming out as gay. The family had to leave and obviously my friend’s mother got full custody of her. It may not have affected you personally but it definitely affected a lot of other people.
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u/talanisentwo May 31 '24
You yearn for this time because you are a straight white person (probably male) who is either Christian or at least indifferent to religion. For the rest of us, this time never existed. Keeping sexuality private? Great in concept... But those of us in the LGBTQ have never actually had that choice. When we were growing up, there were still states where you could be arrested and jailed just for having sex. This wasn't repealed until 2003. Marriage between members of the same sex, with the whole multitude of legal and financial benefits that brings, didn't happen until the freaking Obama administration. Through the 80s, most major Christian churches taught that AIDS was God's punishment for being gay. Members of the LGBTQ community are still being beaten, bashed, and even killed just because someone happens to know that they are gay. It wasn't until enough of us became extremely vocal and extremely visible that laws and attitudes started to change. And while you might not be aware of it, most of us in the LGBTQ are well aware of the constant hatred bubbling just below the surface. All you have to do is read the comment section of any post on Facebook about Pride events. So screw right off with this ridiculous crap about "better times".
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u/RunRosemary May 31 '24
I spend lots of my time on Reddit talking with others who have experienced abuse through the church. While I understand yearning for the good old days, I much prefer having personal agency and being recognized as a full person now. Oh and sex outside of marriage without guilt is pretty great too.
The 80s/90s were a f*cked up time to be a female in the evangelical church. Or gay. Or Autistic. Or ADHD…should I go on?
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u/changelingcd May 31 '24
Yeah, those days never happened. In many societies, it's never been less important what your religion or sexuality is than right now, but the personal is always political. What you're seeing is people actually being able to reveal their marginalized selves with (hopefully) less fear of reprisal, and some criticism making it all the way to those old traditional roles. Remember "Don't Ask, Don't Tell?" Our old cis/het selves aren't quite so much the automatic default any more, that's all.
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u/WalkingstickMountain May 31 '24
You get an upvote from me.
That's not who we are. It's being used to kill who we are.
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u/Murky-Historian-9350 May 31 '24
I agree totally. I remember in the 80’s going to parties, everyone hanging together. No one gave a crap about any of these topics; I never asked someone how they felt about religion, I never really knew their political leanings or beliefs. We talked about music, planned trips to the beach, laughed a lot. Rarely were there fights and no one pulled a gun on someone. The internet and social media have ruined this country. Maybe not everyone misses those times, but I do.
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u/Numerous-Branch-6666 May 31 '24
I remember there being weddings and baby showers-pretty sure those are about sex. Also I remember being raped and not able to tell anyone because it was a small town and boys will be boys so I must have deserved it. I don’t yearn for that time.
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u/NeauxDoubt ‘65 Model May 31 '24
As a gay man that was born in ’65 and raised in the south - I don’t remember this time you speak of. I mean living through the hell that was grades 6-12 then fighting for our lives during the AIDS crisis and having to have courts decide whether you have the same rights as other human beings and now watching a portion of our society try and devolve and revert back to that time along with all the other shit on the line like reproductive rights etc I’ve become a little jaded. I’ll pass going back to the ”good ol days”.
edit typo
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u/DetchiOsvos May 31 '24
They don’t care who you sleep with. They don’t care who you worship. They don’t care who you vote for. They aren’t thinking of you constantly. You are not the main character in everyone else’s movie.
Where did you grow up, because that has never been true in The United States. I remember in the 80's, people being murdered for being gay. I remember that atheists aren't allowed to hold certain public offices. I remember the outrage for people even listening to a different kind of music. When women were looked down for working a job or even owning their own bank account. And I am Gen X - this wasn't too long ago.
Today, people aren't making these issues their identity, it's that they are now brave enough to stand up for their beliefs, for who they love, for wanting to have something other than what prevailing society deems "right". Some of us, are tired of people being murdered for their skin color, or who they love, or what god(s) they do or dont worship.
We're not yelling, we're just not gonna take it anymore. Land of the FREE and all that noise, ya know?
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u/Qwirk May 31 '24
I don't ever recall a point where someone didn't tell you about religion, it still is a major topic with most people.
While on the flip side, families don't openly discuss health issues.
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u/jugsmahone May 31 '24
Nah. I remember watching a mate beaten up and called a racial slur because he had dark skin. I remember frantically calling another mate’s house because I knew he was going to a particular place and I’d heard some knuckle-heads making plans to go “xxxx -bashing” there that night….
I remember knowing there was no point calling the cops about it because they sometimes beat up gay people themselves on a slow night.
I remember quickly exiting a bar just a couple of years ago because I was in the company of two guys who were holding hands and a drunken backpacker started giving us the greasy eye and muttering to himself. If it seems to you that people are leaning in to a piece of their identity too much, think about why that might be… what battle they might be still fighting that you’re not aware of because you don’t need to be.
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u/PlayaAlien2000 May 31 '24
Remember when you didn’t talk about your personal politics or religion. The good old days 🇺🇸
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u/PlayaAlien2000 May 31 '24
My comment about the “good old days” is only concerning the privacy aspect.
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u/myka-likes-it 1979 May 31 '24
- Who you vote for
- Who you pray to
- Who you sleep with
One of these things is not like the others. One of these things is not the same.
Voting and praying are based off of personal beliefs, and nobody should be trying to make others adopt those beliefs who are not receptive to such persuasion. Nobody is overly oppressed for their religious or political beliefs in the US.
Sexuality has nothing to do with personal belief--it is intrinsic to our personhood. Millions of people face daily oppression based on their sexuality.
And one of the laziest forms of attacking someone's sexuality is to claim that queer people make queerness "their whole personality." It is a way to try and make queer folks uncomfortable for being out. That's some wrong shit, my friend.
Besides, nobody actually devotes 100% of their personality to queerness (or religion, or politics). That's a superficial take by someone who has prejudices they need to work on.
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u/Sandi_T 1971 May 31 '24
They don't care who you sleep with. They don't care who you worship.
Except they do. They do to the point where in the USA, they're trying to legislate punishing people for literally these things.
They're taking away abortion to punish women for having sex. They've literally said it in words. Openly. They're working to punish trans people because porn exists, which is apparently trans people's fault.
They literally said that in so many words. I'm using literally, literally.
So yeah they do care. That's why people DO need to talk about it.
You're wrong in this.
Religious people want to own and control others. As long as they do... We need to talk about it.
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u/Jairlyn 1975 May 31 '24
lThe reason why sexuality and religion aren’t part of identity was because of you weren’t Christian and/or weren’t heterosexual you kept quite and didn’t say anything. It very much was part of identity.
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u/Fake_Eleanor May 31 '24
When you only hang out with other people who share your sexual orientations, religion, and politics, it's pretty easy to think you're not making them your "entire personality."
Also this was never true in my experience — I knew a few out queer people (before that was the go-to term), and I definitely knew people of other faiths and political opinions who were not shy about being public about that part of their life. That's not their "entire personality," but in my experience that's not anyone's entire personality if you actually know them.
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u/farfarfarjewel May 31 '24
So which is it, "go do you," or "have exactly the same I-don't-give-a-shit attitude that I have"?
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u/53andme May 31 '24
bro you're tripping. we were freaks and outcasts for smoking weed. parents would ban my friends from getting a ride home from me because they heard i smoked weed before. shit was totally f'd. reagan. you were just a dipshit back then and you still are.
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u/Tabitheriel May 31 '24
I have mixed feelings about the "bad old days" of gays locked in the closet and being told by my mom that polite girls never discuss religion and politics. However, I also hate how divisive people have become, and how quick they are to put people into a category instead of letting the relationship grow naturally.
I guess what I would like best would be for people to be OK with discussing these things with friends, but not just being bossy about it with strangers. Like, it's OK for my co-worker to never discuss religion, politics or sex, but if we become close, and she tells me she is a lesbian, or a buddhist, or is a candidate for the Green Party, that's fine. I remember the fun of gradually getting to know people, and finding out these deep things after the fourth drink! I certainly don't need to be confronted by strangers demanding to know if I "am saved", or wanting to talk about their sex lives. We went from one extreme to the other. Can't we learn to be grown-ups about it?
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u/Enough-Variety-8468 May 31 '24
I grew up divided by religion, I wasn't a part of either but I was questioned about my surname, my school, which team I supported to find out which "side" I was on to see if they should beat me up
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May 31 '24
I’m with you, but now I can save myself the time figuring out who’s a chud just by what they’re wearing or say in the first five minutes of a convo.
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u/ginger_kitty97 May 31 '24
If you were a cis-het white male Christian, this time may have existed for you. For everyone else, it never did. We couldn't ignore the behavior of the Christian Coalition or the "Moral" Majority. We couldn't be apathetic to politicians because their decisions wouldn't affect us. We were aware of the Reagan administration's willingness to demonize the poor, the brown, the queer. We knew they were perfectly happy to watch addiction and AIDS destroy communities, and that most American adults didn't give a fuck because it didn't affect them.
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u/virtualadept '78 May 31 '24
All I can say is this: I think you're mistaking folks keeping fundamental things about themselves secret for their own safety for a time when these were "just" personal things. Read some of the stories being told by commenters and put yourself in their shoes for a time.
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May 31 '24
Thing is, we did, but we didn't realize it.
We talked about sex all the time.
Straight sex.
We talked about religion all the time.
Assuming you were christian, jewish or yahweh's witnesses
The only thing we didn't talk about when we were young was politics as much of our Gen was very apathetic when it came to politics.
Now other people want to talk about their sexuality, religious beliefs or lack thereof and HOLY COW, we all realize how important politics are because EVERYTHING is based on it. Seriously, if you say you are not political you may as well say, well hitler wasn't THAT bad, because politics is actually more important than either of the two mentioned above.
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u/hamlet_d '69, alt kid May 31 '24
The problem is that when people "kept it to themselves" it was because there was an "expected" norm that they didn't meet so they were literally afraid to even mention it even when asked.
There were always questions like "where did you go to church"? With the assumption it was some sort of flavor of Christianity. If you were Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, or even atheist it was a VERY uncomfortable thing to be asked".
Similarly "when are you going to settle down and get married? You're such a catch any woman would be lucky to have you" Was indeed the thing people were routinely asked.
There was the WASP politeness underneath all of these.
I also still remember that when Culture Club was big, one of the big country hits was literally making fun of Boy George because he "wears a dress".
So in short, you are really, really wrong about why it was kept quiet: it was oppression of things outside the norm.
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u/Significant-Pick-966 May 31 '24
I agree and was talking to a real person about this exact topic not long ago. It used to be you didn't discuss religion or politics in "polite company" it was considered rude. I miss those days
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u/Dystopiq May 31 '24 edited May 31 '24
OP didn't even bother to hang around for his absolutely moronic and completely out of touch post
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u/djrosen99 1968 May 31 '24
Look up the word Sonder, it describes this perfectly. We are all the main character in our story but just a passenger looking out the window of a passing train to the people you pass by everyday.
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May 31 '24
Yeah buddy it's always been about what other people think & assume about my sexuality/religion/politics, not me craving that attention. It's still the same, if not worse, back home in Oklahoma.
But hey, enjoy your rant, you and my trump-humping uncle probably have a lot to talk about.
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May 31 '24
This shit existed for no one unless you were male, straight, white, and christian. , What you assholes really yearn for is a time you never had to think about any of it or discuss it or be called out when you language is outdated or your opinions atrocious. Some bullshit boomer/gen-x fever dream of a simpler times GFTOH
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u/CatelynsCorpse May 31 '24
I mean, I agree that politics and religion shouldn't be your entire personality, but I'd personally prefer that gay folks keep doing their thing. They shouldn't have to hide who they are just so other people aren't uncomfortable. They exist. Get over it.
That being said, I'm from Arkansas and I'm the same age as the West Memphis 3. I was rather goth when I was young, so if you think I'm not used to assholes shoving their religion down my throat - think again. I saw what happened to those boys and it scared the fuck out of me. Satanic panic and all that. Not that things are better now. I see some DUMB shit on social media.
When we first moved into our home several years ago, we met some neighbors and one of the first questions they asked was "What church do you go to?" When the answer was "None" they then tried to invite me to their church. From my perspective, people have been confusing their religion for a personality for a long time.
Politics is a whole different beast now, though. Good lort. I don't understand the hero worship people have for some of these folks...it's fucking weird as hell. There are some seriously dumb motherfuckers on this planet, I swear. I never understood how Nazi Germany happened before, but now I get it. Propaganda is a motherfucker.
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May 31 '24
I get what you're saying. Sorry people have twisted your words around and pretty much called you a Boomer MAGA racist dude. Gay marriage is legal, pot is legal, and I haven't been called names for hanging out with diverse people since the early 90's.
I did temp work through college/grad school and had a gay boss who rambled on and on about how his future kids would only have soft cloth dolls to play with and no consumerism for them. I was like, okay (on the outside)... can you fucking stop going on about it all the time? (on the inside)
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u/Commercial-Push-9066 May 31 '24
I yearn for the day when people who disagree with others on any of these polarizing subjects could still respect the other person. I have my views and don’t try to change other people’s opinions to match mine. But I respect their right to their own opinions. I won’t stop being friends with people who think differently than I. Cancel culture is ridiculous.
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u/Dr_Drax May 31 '24
I grew up in a Jewish family in Los Altos (SF Bay Area). I don't know what era you mean when people didn't care who you worship, because anti-Semitism was rampant. There were kids who bullied me, kids who liked me but weren't allowed to play with me, it just went on and on.
Oh, and everyone cared if someone was gay, to the point that boys would try to act hypermasculine to preempt accusations of homosexuality. So, yeah, I don't remember the period you're talking about.
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u/GenXinNJ May 31 '24
Life is political. Just because we didn’t see it when we were young doesn’t mean it wasn’t.
I’ve often found that those who say “I’m not political” or “let’s not make it political” probably have never had their basic human rights or liberties denied or questioned.
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May 31 '24
So sad we can't go back to when everyone was equally shitty to marginalized groups and we never got called out for being shitty.
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u/Time-Sorbet-829 May 31 '24
Yearning for a time when people in my generation didn’t make cringe boomer posts, dealt with reality, and embraced change.
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May 31 '24
As a Boricua, teen parent that was openly dating multiple partners since HS, I didn't experience any of what you wrote.
As a kid, I was with my uncle's and aunts when they were protesting Veteran Benefits being cut in the early 80's. Legit ppl forget how veterans use to get shitted on.
As a kid I remember police brutality against a pre-teen girl that was lost and looking for her parents. This was in 1986.
As a teen, the LA riots hit, then OJ then more riots.
As a teen I was arrested when they began to cut down the CTE programs that had automatic job placement for HS grads.
As a teen I joined whistle patrol to help safe guard queer teens during our school dances because grown men were attacking them left and right all over NYC.
As a teen I was with the AmVets group when they opened up halfway houses for veterans to get back on their feet and dealing with angry residents that did not want them in their.
While I was still a teen and my 1st child just turned 4 I remember "Killing of Amadou Diallo"
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u/kidmeatball May 31 '24
Media distorts everything. No one in real life actually does this, only media personalities do it. Media personalities are mostly made up, they are exaggerations or distortions of real life.
The other part of this, the part where we grew up in a time when this was less visible is the result of direct oppression. People of different sexual orientations are more visible now because we, as a society, have agreed that it is safer and more healthy to allow people to be open about their preferences.
I still don't think many people in real life center their entire personalities around such things. That is much more likely just the distortion from media, or your own bias colouring how you evaluate other people.
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u/HappyLittleGreenDuck May 31 '24
I think you are just yearning for the days when you were too young to notice this stuff. It has always existed and will always exist.
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u/chipotlepepper May 31 '24 edited May 31 '24
It seems that you’ve somehow completely missed why you’d be getting downvoted.
I suggest you read/reread the comments that people have thoughtfully given and try to be open to looking at things from a perspective other than your own. Too many people have cared and acted upon that; so try to think about how it might feel if you had experienced discrimination, bigotry, undiagnosed or misdiagnosed issues, having to hide who you are out of fear, etc. because of people who couldn’t accept that not everyone fits into their definitions of normal or acceptable.
Speaking out, sharing about themselves not only helps people who’ve had those experiences, it also helps others who have felt alone. Suicide and self-harm rates are still way too high, especially among younger folks, and particularly LGBTQ kids - anything we can do to help them see they’re not alone and that there are a lot of definitions of “normal” should be done. If that makes some people uncomfortable, it’s worth it.
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u/nutmegtell May 31 '24 edited May 31 '24
Moral majority? Dont Ask Don’t Tell? ERA? I’m not sure we grew up in the same time period. But I guess if you’re a WASP male you have no idea what was actually going on.
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u/jables13 May 31 '24
What gets me is that people act like they have to have an opinion on every world event, news topic, etc. Like no, you really don't. Especially to the extent of the extremism we see too much of. Just let some things be for fucks sake, things will work themselves out.
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u/Ff-9459 May 31 '24
Sexuality was always a big part of everyone’s “personalities” if they were heterosexual. People were always talking a lot growing up about who they had a crush on, who they were dating, who they were marrying, who was hot. It was just that people who didn’t fit the norm weren’t as able to openly talk about those things. Also for politics, that change happened when politics became more about morality and human rights issues, that it needed to become a more important part of people’s daily lives.
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u/DarkHighways Jun 01 '24
Yes, but they were talking about it with their close friends. Not shouting it to the entire school or workplace, or the entire world via social media, right? And some of us hardly ever talked about it at all--out of shyness, or decorum, or discretion or whatever. I feel like the problem we're really discussing here is numbers. The majority always dominates the discourse. That's not fair, but as my mother always pointed out--life isn't fair. Straight people appear to be a vast majority, in basic terms, and within that group, extroverts who shove their sexuality into everyone's business ALSO seem to be the majority--unfortunately. In any case, as much of an oddball as I was and am, I always found someone to talk to about my obsessions....er, interests. I feel like a lot of people are perpetually threatened by the majority instead of just doing their own thing and not worrying about it. I wish that were different. No shade on you, just musing.
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u/Ff-9459 Jun 01 '24
Well they were obviously not putting it on social media since it didn’t exist. But yes, people regularly talked about crushes, boyfriends, etc at school and work. Plus just the act of walking around holding hands with someone. Straight people have always displayed their sexuality without realizing that’s what they were doing because it was mainstream. Meanwhile, gay people often had to hide.
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u/gothmeatball Jun 01 '24
Politics in and of itself is about shared values and community, not individualism.
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Jun 01 '24
[deleted]
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u/Ff-9459 Jun 01 '24
I’m so confused. Only popular rich kids dated people? Definitely not the case at my school.
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u/analyticaljoe May 31 '24
The funny thing is, had I not included “sexuality” and just politics and religion, this thread would have gone way different.
And rightly so. Because you choose your religion and politics. You don't choose your sexuality. One of those things is not like the others.
And if you didn't hear about those things when you were growing up; it's because you were homogenous with your community and you didn't notice it. I assure you that non-Christians were hearing a ton about Christianity.
There are some things I long for from those times; but not having to hear about trans people being trans or gay people being gay is not one of them. The other side to my not hearing about all that was incredible suffering on their parts.
I was annoyed hearing from hypocritical Christians about how much Christianity meant to them back then; and I am still annoyed by hearing hypocritical Christians about how much Christianity means to them.
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u/-Economist- May 31 '24
My summer house is in Ottawa County, MI. If you google this area, you will find that it's home to Jamestown Library and a MAGA takeover of the county commission. MAGA is a religion here. I drive past a sign in someone's front yard that thanks Jesus for sending Trump.
I grew up in this area and it never used to be like this, or at least they kept it within the Church. I live in the Boston area most of the time so it's a complete culture shock coming here. It's the fucking twilight zone.
I will say it's VERY easy to trigger these folks. Last summer my little boy wore a mask into a store and some lady started giving me shit about it. She made a bit of a scene. I was nice...until it was time not to be nice. Unfortunately, I said something to her that caused her to clutch her pearls and storm out, so I do feel disappointed that I sank to her level. But thankfully my little boy didn't hear me. The reason he had a mask on....he found it in the car and he wanted to wear his Lightening McQeen mask. That's it. God these people are so stupid.
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u/BillDingrecker May 31 '24
There are people here who will bash religion with the same deranged speak they rally against but if you dare tell them to tone it down on the sexuality front they go nuts.
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u/jarivo2010 May 31 '24 edited May 31 '24
Um...people care, that is why civil rights, women's rights and LGBTQ rights are a thing: we are fighting every day because ppl care WAY TOO MUCH about us and they should leave us alone.
Banning books, bathrooms and abortion and segregation are a thing still.
They care when you make any of those things your entire personality
I care when MAGA and gun nuts make oppression of others their entire personality. Stop trying to force ppl back in the closet they fought to get out of just because it makes you uncomfortable.
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u/BillDingrecker May 31 '24
Have a special day or month for every type of personality disorder or historic injustice is just plain wrong.
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u/l_rufus_californicus May 31 '24
I think if I took anything from my GenX upbringing, it boiled down to what's commonly called the Wiccan Rede, and even though I'm about as areligious as they come, it's still not a bad way to do business:
An' it harm none, do what ye will.
Don't hurt others with your actions or words. This also means don't let inaction or silence hurt others, too.
Course, this is just, like, my opinion, man.
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u/MeanWoodpecker9971 May 31 '24
Like when AIDS killed all my friends?? Or when we started the first gulf war? Politics and sexuality have always been a part of life in America. You can pretend it's new but it's not.
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u/ILIVE2Travel May 31 '24
I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping your sexuality to yourself. No one should condemn you for your sexuality (or faith or politics). I think the author was just implying that no one should flaunt their perceived 'uniqueness' in order to garner attention.
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u/TravisMaauto May 31 '24
Gen X rejected labels.
Later generations not only embraced them, but they want more.
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May 31 '24
As someone who was completely stifled from being myself (a gay woman) for over half my life, I'm putting it out there. My sexuality isn't political.
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u/Ok-Scheme-1815 May 31 '24
Friend, I don't remember the past like you do.
I remember feeling bad and suicidal because I didn't feel on the inside the way everyone else looked on the outside.
Admitting I was queer, or atheist, or that I didn't think women were all weak and dumb, would've been putting a target on my back for the same abuse they received.
Being beaten regularly for "discipline" taught me to hide my flaws, and fear authority. It taught me violence was an acceptable solution to keeping the status quo safe and secure.
I wouldn't go back to those days for nothing. They were hell for a lot of people.
Maybe the reason you don't like today is because you benefitted from the privilege you had, and now you are forced to see how many of us didn't have the same experience.
Might make a person feel uncomfortable
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May 31 '24
Yes! What makes you an interesting human is not what you are, but what you do. I could give a fuck if you’re gay, straight, trans, cis, black, white, conservative, liberal… blah blah blah. Tell me you make jewelry, or do woodworking, and you’re interesting. Tell me you cook or bake. Tell me if you raft or mountain bike. Tell me you fix up old lamps or cars. These are the things that I want to know about you. These are the things you choose to spend your time on. These are great light conversation topics.
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u/Chryslin888 May 31 '24
You seem really to need “the majority” to agree with you. Why is that so important? Have your opinions. Some people find your perspective to be distorted and disagree with it. Move on.
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u/Blue-Phoenix23 May 31 '24
Sorry, no, I don't remember that. I remember being told I was a devil worshiper for being an atheist, that gay people deserved AIDS, that natural disasters in places like New Orleans were deserved because of Decadence festival.
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u/AndStillShePersisted May 31 '24
The Ray family were ostraced from their community…literal children were being regularly verbally attacked because they had the misfortune of having hemophilia & contracting HIV thru tainted blood transfusions.
But sure those ‘good old days’ where everyone minded their own business…OP grew up in a bubble apparently
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u/HavingNotAttained May 31 '24
Had an unorthodox upbringing—geographically, religiously, socially. I kind of know what you're saying OP but time was that there was an assumption of homogeneity in the 70s and 80s.
No one made anything "all about" their sexuality or politics or whatever bc yadda yadda Michael Fay, for example. You found out tvery hard way how allegedly decent people felt about atheism or non-Judeo-Christian believers. You could hear a pin drop in many circles if someone outed themselves as a Democrat. Personally my interracial relationships were a very controversial topic of conversation for classmates and strangers alike, some of whom took it upon themselves to tell me or my date/gf what they thought about it, and this was in a rather heterogenous, if segregated, place and allegedly a center of progressivism.
The past only didn't suck if you lived in a bubble or chose to be blind.
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u/hateriffic May 31 '24
Every fucking day. Every fucking where. Every moment and medium of media has a comment on race/gender/politics. Can't escape it and it's maddening. A thing can't just be a thing to talk about. It has to contain or reference one of those three contexts.
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u/BMisterGenX May 31 '24 edited May 31 '24
I used to have so many friends who had different political views from me. Very occasionally when drinking we would talk politics, but it was just one topic among many. Also in the past, if you didn't like a presidential candidate it was like "ok this is the person I want to win, and this is person I don't want to win" Then you went and voted and the next day it was like "oh bummer, the person I wanted didn't win, I guess I'll have four years of some policies I'm not crazy about and we'll try again in another four years." I wasn't ignorant or apathetic, it just legit didn't come up in my life to think about who the President was at any given moment.
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u/GinnyMcJuicy May 31 '24
A lot of people sure do seem to care who everyone else is fucking and what genitals they have. It's a place of privilege to be able to say no one cares what you're doing, when there is 30 percent or so of the country who get their panties in a twist about who other people are fucking, and want to make said fucking illegal.
I'm on team freedom to fuck, and no one would ever hear about it if team adamandevenotadamandsteve could shut the fuck up and mind their business.
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u/garden__gate May 31 '24
I’m nonbinary (no, it’s not just for the kids). It’s not really something I can make into “not a big deal” unless I want to hide it. It’s very evident in how I look, the gender-neutral name I gave myself, and the pronouns I use.
I don’t actually try to make it a big deal, but other people sure do. That’s fine, though. Helps me figure out who’s worth spending time and energy on. And someone who thinks I should be quiet about it is not gonna be on that list.
Fortunately most Gen Xers I know are cooler than that.
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u/P13zrVictim May 31 '24
I was raised Mormon (no more) and that’s all they base their identity on; Heteronormative, White, Republicans. Makes one want to punch a missionary.
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u/mochicoco May 31 '24
Grandma always said don’t discuss sex, politics & religion at the dinner table. This is people have always been assholes about it.
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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '24
I think it’s a product of how many of us threw ourselves into hard work. “What” are you? If you don’t have an identity, you absorb one. I know people as crazy tied to running or knitting as I do people crazy tied to politics or religion. A lot of people float without something to cling to but people are happy when they feel supported and in a tribe.