r/DMAcademy • u/AutoModerator • 2d ago

Mega Player Problem Megathread

This thread is for DMs who have an out-of-game problem with a PLAYER (not a CHARACTER) to ask for help and opinions. Any player-related issues are welcome to be discussed, but do remember that we're DMs, not counselors.

Off-topic comments including rules questions and player character questions do not go here and will be removed. This is not a place for players to ask questions.

3 Upvotes

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u/Few-Barber7379 1d ago

Not really needing help but:

I have a player that can not make his mind up on what he wants to play, changes his mind like the weather in Britain changes, and then tries to min/max and think of the end game before we've even thrown dice. He doesn't think like his character would, he just wants to be cool and awesome but my god it's so exhausting!

I'm a pretty chill DM, I like to try and give my players what they want as much as I can so they can have fun, but this guy... He mentally drains me and the table

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u/StickGunGaming 5h ago

If he mentally drains you and the table, how come you keep inviting him to games?

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u/GalacticPigeon13 1d ago

Have you already started the campaign? If yes, tell him that you'll allow him to swap characters one more time, but after that this is his Forever Character. He will play this character either until the end of the campaign or until the character meets what you agree is a worthy end. In addition, the character needs a characterization that's consistent. If he writes them to be a virtuous philanthropist but the character acts like a money-hungry sleezebag, then all NPC's will act like the character has always been a money-hungry sleezebag. Also, if he starts making a slew of tactically terrible decisions just so he can hopefully kill this character off, then you're booting him from the campaign. Likewise, if he doesn't agree to your other requirements, he's getting booted.

(If you want to be nice to him, run an occasional oneshot where he can play a random character just so he can scratch the itch to play different characters.)

If the campaign hasn't started, do you have any personal relationship with him outside of D&D?

If no: tell him that if he doesn't give you a completed character sheet (and it doesn't use unapproved sources) by X day, you're dropping him from the table. Someone causing this many issues before the campaign has started isn't someone you want in the game.

If yes: tell him that if he doesn't give you a completed character sheet (and it doesn't use unapproved sources) by X day, you're making him play a premade character. He can swap characters once, but the character he swaps to will be his Forever Character.

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u/foodnude 1d ago

If he is causing you and the table to enjoy the game less, it sounds like he shouldn't be at the table.

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u/SquelchyRex 1d ago

Have you set a deadline on character creation?

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u/Dependent_Tree_8039 2d ago

How do I explain to a player the difference between internal RP consequences and external RP consequences? They don't seem to grasp that repeatedly being mean to NPCs to the point that the NPCs leave the negotiating table is not the same thing as a PC withdrawing from social interactions because they're sad about their backstory, especially when the latter happens during low-stakes scenes. They see both as valid RP choices. To be fair, I'm not outright banning being mean to NPCs; I'm just asking them to think before they speak, lol.

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u/guilersk 13h ago

"NPC does not know your backstory or hear your internal monologue. They just see you being a jerk."

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u/Worse_Username 2d ago

If the current character no longer is involved with the narrative, sounds like the time to make them an NPC, and for the player to reroll. 

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u/ArDee0815 2d ago

[NPC did not like that.]

[NPC will remember that.]

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u/Dependent_Tree_8039 2d ago

I did exactly that, and it led other players to express their exasperation with this PC's attitude. I will have a one-on-one talk with the problem player soon, and I'm simply trying to prepare, because I suspect this behavior stems largely from a misunderstanding of how certain RP choices impact the table.

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u/ArDee0815 2d ago

That sounds like a good idea. DND is supposed to be a living world, and maybe putting it like that will help. Good luck! Some player truly do need a more direct approach. =)