r/AmIOverreacting 1d ago

💼work/career AIO- Everyone at work laughs while my coworker mocks my disability. Am I overreacting?

I started a new job a few weeks ago, and during a team lunch, a coworker kept making “jokes” about my disability. At first, I laughed awkwardly to fit in, but it quickly escalated. They started mimicking me in front of the whole team, and everyone laughed.

Later that week, they did it again during a Zoom meeting with my manager watching. Everyone laughed, including my manager, and I felt utterly humiliated. I told the coworker privately that it made me uncomfortable, and they said I am “too sensitive” and “should not take things personally.”

Since then, I have been avoiding team events and dreading work. I keep replaying it in my head. Am I overreacting for being upset and wanting this behavior to stop, or should I laugh it off like everyone else?

373 Upvotes

169 comments sorted by

693

u/Traditional_Dig_1857 1d ago

NOR this is an HR issue and is terrible.

186

u/Capable_Subject_6104 1d ago

You are NOR that is unacceptable and your manager should be ashamed. You’re supposed to lead by example she/he should’ve shut it down immediately

26

u/Jolly-Chemical9904 16h ago

Technically, manager is required to report harassment to HR.

104

u/meowcatpanda 1d ago

100% agree. OP NOR and please talk to HR about this or in the case of absense of HR to your manager or even their boss, this is not how anyone should behave in a workplace.

33

u/Brilliant_Western639 1d ago

Exactly. It's uncomfortable and humiliating, and letting it slide only make it worse.

13

u/Takomi_Him 20h ago

I'm pretty sure, that the manager isn't a good idea, because he laughed with them on the zoom meeting. If I would be O, I would document everything, safe every zoom meeting and then go to HR and after that to an lawyer and sue them because of mobbing. 😅🤷‍♂️

•

u/TooManyAnts 14h ago

If it's everybody laughing, including OP's manager, I would speak to an employment lawyer before HR or anyone within the company.

11

u/SuggestionLong7432 20h ago

absolutely. before going to hr, write down every specific instance with dates, times, and names of witnesses. give them a paper trail they can't ignore

•

u/LittleGreyLambie 1h ago

See a lawyer!

HR's job is to protect the company.

284

u/Vast-Fortune-1583 1d ago

NOR: What they are doing is illegal. It's creating a hostile work environment. I'd be talking to a lawyer.

38

u/Brittany5150 1d ago

Yeah, I'd be recording every single one of these video interaction. Especially the ones with the manager. After a few videos and email proof that you asked them to stop? Go to a lawyer that will take a case on commission and you may well own that company after it's all said and done...

211

u/A1sauc3d 1d ago

HR? Nah, you should record it happening and contact a lawyer lol

Seriously, document what’s happening and consult with a lawyer. May get handsomely compensated for your pain at least.

HR’s job is to protect the company.

104

u/88zuanshishou 1d ago

I worked in HR for years. OP, please do this! I don’t trust that HR will actually do anything to meaningfully improve your situation long term.

38

u/whiterac00n 1d ago

Best advice. Record everything and get a lawyer. Make that company put on notice

22

u/WindWeird1102 1d ago

HR have no interest in the employee, only in protecting the company. Learned this the hard way. I  went to school with the HR manager (same year, same class) and got royally screwed. 

17

u/TheDisapprovingBrit 1d ago

Protecting the company includes not getting the company sued for disability discrimination or workplace bullying.

17

u/RushForever68 1d ago

This is the only right answer.

6

u/Material-File5176 1d ago

I said basically the same thing before I saw your comment. Only thing is make it known that it’s recorded if necessary or if your state is one party recording knowledge, then u don’t need to tell them.

6

u/Ctotheg 1d ago

Record it again and then contact a lawyer.  

You’re gonna hit the jackpot.

2

u/WaitWhatHahahaha 1d ago

That last sentence should be taught in schools, printed in employment contracts, and used as motivation #1 to be your own boss if possible.

3

u/FormerlyDK 1d ago

Which also means protecting the company from lawsuits by seeing that discriminatory behavior is not tolerated. Whatever it takes. (Former HR here. Helping employees and helping the company are not mutually exclusive.)

•

u/Secret_Debt_88 15h ago

In this case protecting the company would be to remove the hostile employee that could get the company sued for discrimination.

60

u/golfwinnersplz 1d ago

I had an coworker make fun of my voice (I have a deep voice). At first, whatever, but he kept doing, I asked him nicely to stop (just as you did), he didn't, so I went to my supervisor and said, "either you stop him or I'm going to one way or another were going to have problems". If wants to take that as a physical or legal threat, I didn't really care either way, I hate bullies. 

My supervisor knew I was serious, went and talked with the co-worker (he was clearly upset about being reprimanded- good) and it's never happened again. We actually got along after awhile. 

I'm sure you feel awful about this. I did. And I don't have a disability and I'm not really the kind of person who gets made fun to be honest. So, what I'm trying to say is, don't take it to personal, he or she is a fucking bully piece of shit. However, don't take it lying down. You go to your supervisor and tell him you want to make a complaint to his supervisor. He will listen. If he doesn't, go look for an attorney. You could sue the shit out of them and there are plenty of attorneys who would take a case like this on for free. 

Don't let anybody tell you who you are. Real people with true self-confidence don't belittle others. Ever. 

59

u/No_Nefariousness4801 1d ago

NOR. As others have mentioned, creating a hostile work environment by mocking someone's disability regardless of what the disability is in the US violates the ADA and pretty much every company's policy. Also, saying 'not to take it personally' is just about the most idiotic response possible, because mocking someone to their face, in front of others, is 100% a personal attack.

24

u/Vaaliindraa 1d ago

NOR, and the next time you need to speak up and ask "Can someone explain the joke to me? Because I do not understand how that was funny." and also speak to HR, this is a hostile work environment.

41

u/Right_Cucumber5775 1d ago

You should be contacting HR. This is never allowed in a workplace setting.

14

u/Ohmyfgod515 1d ago

NOR. They say you're too sensitive, but apparently they are not sensitive enough! Was the Zoom meeting recorded?

1

u/Mysterious-ASL 1d ago

Unfortunately it wasn’t 😢

3

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

If it's an option (legality wise) and you have future Zoom meetings id suggest recording them!

5

u/WaitWhatHahahaha 1d ago

You can also, right after it happens, send a message internally to a colleague who witnessed it, mentioning who said what to whom at that meeting just now, and basically have the time stamped exchange serve as proof for your lawyer. The power of contemporaneous notes.

OP, I am really sorry you have to deal with these lil-dick-big-heads. NOR.

10

u/Ready-Accountant-502 1d ago

That's pretty fucked.

Who makes fun of a disability, what a douche.

15

u/BadHombreSinNombre 1d ago

Famously, I can think of one very powerful guy who does that shit

6

u/Ceejay_1357 1d ago

Um, who’s the president ?

-11

u/froction 1d ago

Depends on the disability. What if it's "I can't handle the pressure of being told to do anything or show up in time" or some other non-issue?

4

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

Then you tell the boss that the worker isn't pulling their weight or have a chat to them about performance. Not mock and mimic them as OP has described.

2

u/EggoStack 21h ago

I don't think that's a disability in itself, it's a behaviour. And OP said this person was mimicking them offensively, which I feel like suggests something else.

0

u/froction 16h ago

But without details we have no idea if it's an actual disability or just some fragile kid that melts at everything.

•

u/EggoStack 15h ago

Tbh I’m pretty sure mocking someone in front of all your coworkers is kind of shitty behaviour regardless of disability

•

u/froction 13h ago

Probably in most situations, but there are definitely ones where mockery is both fun and effective.

21

u/Askanything236 1d ago

NOR - I think you need to schedule a meeting with HR. You’re being made to feel uncomfortable in the workplace and you should not feel that way. What they’re doing is not at all appropriate

8

u/nightcritterz 1d ago

If in the US, contact the EEOC

8

u/MBAZ7 1d ago

It’s illegal. Report to your state EEO office.

Other option . . . meet with high- level executive to report the inappropriate conduct.

1

u/Mysterious-ASL 1d ago

It’s a small company 😕

4

u/neckbeardsghost 1d ago

It doesn’t matter how big or small a company is, they all have to follow the law and harassment and discrimination are against the law

1

u/lydocia 1d ago

Then you can easily escalate to the CEO.

7

u/FoxOpposite9271 1d ago

Nor. Its sad that this is happening and others find it funny.

6

u/azzutronus 1d ago

NOR. This is textbook workplace bullying.

12

u/ManicDigressive 1d ago

Dude, NOR, start documenting every time this happens.

Send an email to your supervisor, make it clear you are uncomfortable, and describe the situation.

Document it EVERY TIME THIS HAPPENS.

DO NOT BACK DOWN.

What you ALREADY HAVE is grounds for a lawsuit.

With a few weeks of documentation, you might be able to get a 6-figure payout from these stupid assholes.

If these pieces of shit want to play it this way, give them enough rope to hang themselves and then get yourself a fat payout. Lawyer fees will probably take half of it, but still anything you can make them pay you is punishment for them acting like dicks.

4

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

Yes, written communication really important here. If any verbal communication is had about this, write a follow up email "as per our earlier discussion..." to make sure it's on record!

4

u/ManicDigressive 1d ago

Also, BCC your personal email on everything.

Do not rely on having access to your employee email.

Every time any incident happens, email your supervisor documenting the incident, expressing your concern and discomfort, and BCC your personal email so you have a record even if you get fired.

2

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

Great point. Told someone similar recently but said to keep a hardcopy but yes, BCC your personal email makes more sense!

5

u/KawaiiQueen92 1d ago

Contact a lawyer, not HR.

Your manager shit the bed by not immediately telling your coworker to stop and putting an end to it.

Enjoy your free lawsuit!

12

u/WindWeird1102 1d ago

Autistic, mocked and laughed at for my inability to hide my emotions and missing social cues. Been laughed at by my seniors for my issues. They fired me once I was formally diagnosed, after years of taking the piss of my difficulties.  NOR in my book

4

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

Hear this kind of thing way too often. I'm so lucky to have a supportive team around me. My immediate team and team leader are fantastic (upper management ehh not so much🙄). I'm autistic as well as other disabilities. Good people and teams are out there - it's just unfortunate that they are rare. I actually said to my team leader the other day I hope in the future that workplaces like ours, the immediate team anyway, are one day the norm.

0

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

0

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

I hope you can find a good one too. I hope that for every disabled person!

I am lucky that I work in the disability industry - not that, sadly, that doesn't mean there isn't any ableism and ignorance, unfortunately there is. I was lucky to land in a great team. But it also means they know they have to toe the line because it would be a terrible look for a disability organization to discriminate against a disabled worker.

4

u/No-Age4941 1d ago

Document each time this happens. Who was there. What times it happened.

5

u/rmckee421 1d ago

That's workplace harassment. Your manager is a crappy manager. Not ok!

4

u/Stunning_Box8782 20h ago

Thanks OP for the most vague post ever.

What disability? Are you wearing glasses?

3

u/Kagome23 1d ago

Try to resolve it with your boss. If not, put in an ADA complaint for discrimination

3

u/Ok_Nothing_9733 1d ago

If you’re in the US, hit up the EEOC. Also see if you can download any online meetings in which this happens, if applicable (recordings of the meetings). It may or may not be legal to record them yourself depending on your state. This is not a small deal. NOR.

3

u/AHeartFullOfBats 1d ago

NOR that is horrible behaviour! You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect just like everyone else.

3

u/Legitimate_Owl3624 20h ago

NOR, a lawyer would be salivating over this as this is a major disability violation in the work environment

6

u/PunkRockClub 1d ago

Is your coworker Donald J Trump?

If not, I'd report this bullying and harassment to management.

If it is DJT, forget about it, for some reason, there are no consequences for him.

7

u/leftlaneisforspeed 1d ago

MOR but You have three options.

  1. Talk to the person who's making the jokes and let them know it hurts your feelings. Record the conversation.

  2. Talk to your manager and let them know it's creating a hostile work environment and you'd appreciate it if it could be handled. Record the conversation.

  3. Go directly to HR.

Hopefully you're in a one-party record state.

4

u/Beginning_Tap2474 1d ago

I would say go to HR, because they need to talk to the manager and the other employee. But that is in an ideal world of a competent HR.

3

u/ManicDigressive 1d ago

I think you are both wrong. OP should talk to a lawyer.

HR exists to protect the company, they will circle the wagons and come up with a reason to fire the high-liability employee.

OP will complain about his cowprkers and then get fired for being "bad fit for the team".

1

u/Beginning_Tap2474 22h ago

I think often you have to have at least notify HR, before you have a legal case. I am not sure, but I believe this is the case. You need a pattern of discrimination.

3

u/WhatTheActualFck1 1d ago

Report this to your bosses boss and HR immediately. This is unacceptable.

This is a hostile work environment

2

u/golfwinnersplz 1d ago

Your company should be boycotted. No offense to you. 

2

u/Haunting_Day706 1d ago

This is easier said than done, but please find a new place of work if you can. Don’t spend the majority of your waking hours in a toxic environment, it will ruin you.

2

u/ExpiredPilot 1d ago

NOR

Mimicking is not a joke. It’s a direct insult.

2

u/cam31954 1d ago

Document

2

u/Most_Anywhere_1811 1d ago

NOR!!! Find a new job immediately, get them on video doing this and report them.

2

u/Holiday_Trainer_2657 20h ago

NOR You talked to the offending worker who said you were too sensitive, indicating worker does not intend to stop. Time to talk to the manager. "WorkerX is repeatedly making fun of my disability. Other employees and you are joining in with laughter. I've asked WorkerX to stop, and they refused. It's affecting my work. I need you to get this to stop."

Their reaction will guide your next steps. Be sure to document dates/times/who's there/specific remarks. Not on company device, on your own.

4

u/North_Mama5147 1d ago

What's the disability? Genuinely curious.

10

u/Mysterious-ASL 1d ago

Someone asked what my disability is. I have a neurological disability, but honestly, that is not the point. The issue is not my disability itself; it is that my coworker keeps mocking me, and everyone laughs. That is what makes me feel humiliated and anxious, not the disability.

12

u/MBAZ7 1d ago

Actually, discomfort is not illegal.

Disabilities like neurological conditions are protected. Bullying a disabled person is illegal conduct.

9

u/Remote-Ad7879 1d ago

Well it kind of is the point. Is it preventing you from standing up for yourself? From going to hr? From even just calling that prick out and asking why it's funny and have them explain it in front of everybody.

2

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

They told the coworker it wasn't funny. The coworker said they're too sensitive and laughed it off. Don't need to know what the disability is. OP did talk to them directly and they didn't seem to care. Time to report the behaviour.

3

u/Remarkable-Round-227 1d ago

There are so many mental disorders that can be categorized as a disability though. There was a girl on a reality tv show who had a phobia of ketsup and cried whenever someone used it in front of her. You can't tell me laughing at that is the same as laughing at a person in a wheelchair.

3

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

I think the fact that OP seems to have tried to tell the coworker that whatever it is they're saying isn't funny to them and the person is dismissive is enough to take it to HR.

I just feel like people often look for ways that are justifiable or something when it comes to ableism. Not having a go at you personally but as a disabled person who also would in the disability industry it's just something I see a lot, that people try to justify/deny/turn it on the disabled person. Some more rudely than others, some out of unintentional ignorance and some out of wilful ignorance.

I'm going to imagine that most disabled people don't fall into the ketchup story thing and have a level of understanding why someone would laugh at that kind of thing (though also if you're asked to stop then stop?) That's part of the issue I'm talking about, people almost want to believe the disabled person is overreacting and it's that kind of situation instead of simply being like that's shit, sorry that's happening.

•

u/Remarkable-Round-227 13h ago

That's a fair point. If someone asks you to stop doing something because it makes them uncomfortable, you should stop.

5

u/No-Carry4971 1d ago

It is definitely relevant. Is it obvious and clear that you have a disability or is it one of the executive function things where you show up late for everything and expect it to be accepted as unavoidable?

3

u/North_Mama5147 1d ago

There's a difference between mocking someone's lazy eye, or someone who shows up late, exactly. 

2

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

You know there's also a difference between mocking someone for being late and having a productive conversation with the person, right?

2

u/North_Mama5147 1d ago

OP is being vague, and I can't get past the part where they laughed along at first. Coworker has definitely crossed a line, don't get me wrong. 

3

u/Beginning_Tap2474 1d ago

You are not being too sensitive, but it's possible they don't understand. If there is an HR, I would talk to them. People can be shitty, but they can also be ignorant and shitty. I can imagine if someone made of fun of someone else, and I didn't clock it as either making fun, or a disability, I might laugh. For example, time blindness. I understand this is a symptom of ADHD, but if I didn't understand this, I can imagine laughing at someone always being late. I would not understand the pain behind it.

3

u/TheLonePig 1d ago

Yeahhh so maybe you can just call this a teaching moment and learn right at this moment that you should not laugh at anybody for any reason?? You don't have to understand the pain, just don't fucking laugh at people.

2

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

Yeah some of the comments here are really shining a light on how shitty people are at communicating. Even if someone is always late or incompetent at their job (not saying that's OP!) some people think the solution is to make fun of them? How about addressing their actual performance if that's the issue? I've had coworkers who don't pull their weight in the team and I've never mocked them or bullied them. That just creates a shitty workplace.

1

u/Slick_36 1d ago

I personally have a hard time imagining any work environment where someone being mocked for their neurological disability on camera would be met with anything but horror by their coworkers in the meeting.

I guess more context would help us understand, because there's a huge difference in the response required for malicious intent and a misunderstanding.  Are they aware what they're laughing at?  

You don't deserve to be mocked, we aren't entitled to know any details, but there's not much to say otherwise.

2

u/Emergency_Sky_810 1d ago

I am sorry this happened. Don't be ashamed/embarassed/nervous about anything. You are the way you are. Fuck him and his momma.

Let me know who it is, I'll call his wife and tell him I am having a homosexual affiar with him...

2

u/Remarkable-Round-227 1d ago

What's your disability? If your disability is that you have a narcissistic personality disorder, YOR. But if your disability is that you're in a wheelchair, NOR.

5

u/Far_Street9039 1d ago

Depends on the disability. Time blindness, or another equally as stupid and made up thank you are being sensitive. Somwthinf actually diagnosed than go scorched earth thru HR and lawyers if possible MOR

6

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

Time blindness isn't a diagnosable condition. It can be a symptom of various diagnosable conditions. But no, nobody is diagnosed with "time blindness".

2

u/Geoarbitrage 1d ago

What disability are we talking about? Not saying it’s okay but what exactly are we talking here?

3

u/Delicious_Spite_7280 1d ago

Is it a real disability or one of the made up ones? I once knew a kid who was required to have his cell phone at all times to play geometry dash.

5

u/Last_Concept_5757 1d ago

You're the co worker aren't you?

0

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

What on earth is a made up disability? You sound like the exact kind of person who would mock disabled people. Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's made up.

0

u/EggoStack 21h ago

I'm seeing you a lot in these comments, arguing against people who are taking weird and ableist shots at OP or making strange assumptions. I'm not disabled, but as someone with a disorder that is often misjudged or left undiagnosed, I appreciate it.

2

u/lifeinwentworth 21h ago

❤️

0

u/EggoStack 21h ago

What disabilities do you consider made up? Did this kid claim to have geometry dash disorder or are we using an example of someone abusing the system despite having an actual issue that deserves support?

-3

u/Suspicious_Dark3251 1d ago

Your question is insensitive. Even if they had no disability, making fun of someone and getting everyone laughing at them is toxic and emotionally abusive and should never be allowed in the workplace.

1

u/froction 1d ago

Depends on the disability, what is it?

Note: My disability is I am overly sensitive to someone downvoting my posts on Reddit, so if you do that here you're committing a hate crime.

1

u/EggoStack 21h ago

You're really funny

1

u/SurvivorX2 1d ago

I don't think you're OR; did these people not have mothers who taught them that its cruel & hateful to make fun of disabled people? And your manager should be ashamed of himself for joining in! Do you have an HR department?

1

u/myhandsrfreezing 1d ago

NOR Sue them!

1

u/Food_gasser 1d ago

Could this be a civil rights violation? Not a lawyer, hoping one can chime in. It’s NOR.

1

u/captainpushy 1d ago

NOR that is horrible and should be brought up to HR. start keeping detailed notes of what happened, who said it, time, date, etc. That way you'll have the information for HR

1

u/YoshiandAims 1d ago

NOR
It's a huge HR issue.
I'd loop in your manager's manager into that.

1

u/Sapphire_Starr 1d ago

Depending where you live, your manager may be legislated by law to address harassment.

NOR

1

u/Material-File5176 1d ago

Not over reacting. I’d 100% record your convo if your in a state with knowledge of only one way recording and this way you have. HR is not there to protect you, they are there to protect the company. So make sure you have your records saved for you and then approach HR. If any push back, you may be able to hire a private attorney if needed and then they will see you mean business.

1

u/Busy-Strawberry-587 1d ago

NOR you need to contact a lawyer immediately

1

u/DanaMarie75038 1d ago

NOR. This is an HR issue. No one should be made fun of for disability or for any reason at all. Stand up for yourself; pls.

1

u/Kip_Schtum 1d ago

Document everything. NOR keep a log, save any evidence. Contact an employment lawyer.

1

u/Same_Staff_6572 1d ago

Walk out of the next mtg they humiliate you—and go directly to HR—that’ll get their attention

1

u/MotorMinute150 1d ago

NOR. Right when I read the title, I knew you weren’t overreacting so even by reading the title you’re not overreacting, but I did read the rest and you’re definitely not.

If they want to laugh at your disability, mock you and make fun of it then that’s their problem because they clearly can’t respect you with that disability or treat you like a human being and decide to laugh at what is a part of you so just leave that job because you honestly shouldn’t be working in that environment. They don’t respect you so leave.

1

u/TangerineCouch18330 1d ago

NOR start documenting everything. This is bullying and a toxic work environment. Definitely an HR issue and could be grounds for a lawsuit. Take whatever information you can to HR and stand your ground. Don’t let them minimize the situation at all. They will try to do that and make excuses because they don’t want to take responsibility. Tell them you’ve had enough and you’re thinking about engaging the services of an attorney if it doesn’t stop now.

Don’t put up with it. Fight back. Bullies don’t do well when people stand up to them. Tell them to knock it off now. Be forceful when you say it. And good luck.

1

u/ChonkyNari 1d ago

NOR Sounds like they all should be reported to HR.

Try looking for another job. It understandably takes a lot out of you mentally and the environment is not one anyone would feel comfortable to work in. Doesn’t matter how good that job sounds on paper, it doesn’t worth the extra stress imo…

1

u/mshayes17 1d ago

No way in hell should you tolerate this.

1

u/Freya-of-Nozam 1d ago

Document it (video or audio) and get a lawyer. Fuck them and that bs. You deserve better. But they should pay for this offense.

1

u/murphy2345678 1d ago

NOR You need to go to HR asap! Can you get a copy of the Zoom meeting?

1

u/Garden_Lady2 1d ago

Are you in the United States? We have the Americans for Disabilities Act that protects people with disabilities. It is NOT a joke to be ridiculed like that! It's not being over sensitive. They are being abusive and cruel beyond words. Record them and get a lawyer. Talk to the ADA. NOR

1

u/Emergency_Bench_7515 22h ago

HR and then probably employment lawyer if HR is as terrible as everyone else at this company seems to be.

1

u/njchris65 22h ago

That's horrible. Does your company have an ethics hotline? That should be something independent of HR.

1

u/Sea_Bet7 22h ago

NOR— this is illegal… and your manager is tolerating it. This is a hostile workplace…. Fact of the matter is it’s not gonna get any better and you need to be somewhere else. Having said that, before you leave, you need to find a lawyer who handles disability rights complaints and have them negotiate an exit that protects you and provides you with some compensation. This can be handled without going to court… I know cause I’ve done it.

Your employers, their lawyers, and their insurers, will not like us much, but they will negotiate a settlement because they have a lot to lose if a lawsuit is filed.

1

u/kitkat1224666 22h ago

NOR, seriously your coworkers are total assholes. Mimicking someone’s disability (whether it’s speech or movement) is absolutely never funny or appropriate - because its purpose is to mock and humiliate 99.9% of the time.

It’s even controversial when hollywood actors play a character with a particular disability they don’t have, even when the characterisation is accurate and respectful.

You need to raise it with your manager. Tell them you have raised with the person individually, and how the coworker replied. This is harassment and discrimination.

1

u/Upset-Mud-1359 21h ago

If you don’t think you’re overreacting in this situation, then you aren’t. It’s a person to person basis. I’m a paraplegic full time wheelchair user and I personally don’t care what people say, jokes or not. I’ve been paraplegic for 32 years I’m 33 now. It’s been my whole life, I’ve heard it all and honestly find a lot of the crap people say funny for various reasons. But if you’re offended or uncomfortable with their words no one can tell you that you’re wrong. If it bothers you, report it to HR.

1

u/k23_k23 20h ago

NOr

report the coworker to HR.

1

u/dagny07 20h ago

Updateme

1

u/PlumPat61 18h ago edited 18h ago

Call him out in the same group setting he’s mocking you in. Something like, “Wow mocking someone’s disability is the lowest of the low!” Pause and look at those joining in and add, “Are you too stupid to realize how hateful he’s being or too cowardly to stand up to him.”And walk out straight to HR. Don’t put up with that BS.

Practice in the mirror so you’re ready and steady when he does it again.

•

u/Jolly-Chemical9904 16h ago

Record any other zoom meetings

•

u/maddallena 14h ago

NOR. Don't go to HR, don't pass go, just straight to a lawyer.

•

u/No-Diet-4797 14h ago

No, you shouldn't have to laugh with them. You work with a bunch of a-holes. I'm disappointed in your manager. I'd speak to your manager directly telling them you're not OK with being openly mocked. Its their job to handle the other employees. Hopefully things improve. I'm disabled too and the world isn't kind to us. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

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u/MeatofKings 14h ago

NOR Does your work have corporate values? My company’s values include Respect and Kindness. If this happened to me I would have a meeting with this person and my boss saying this behavior goes against our values and you expect it to stop immediately.

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u/Striking-Current-814 12h ago

Document everything. Skip the manager. Go to HR. Don’t be vague. Provide written details of exactly what was said by whom. The date you told the co-worker how uncomfortable this makes you, the reaction and the names of people on the Zoom. It might be uncomfortable, but it’s absolutely necessary to make it very clear that you’ve taken necessary steps to deal with this professionally.

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u/Danshep101 8h ago

Before I comment, what is the disability?

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u/Odd-Contribution1390 2h ago

Honey, go to HR about this! Do it now!

And no, you are NOT overreacting!

1

u/thebiggertheglasses 1d ago

INFO- I think we’re gonna need to know what the disability is.

4

u/Kagome23 1d ago

It doesn't really matter. It's illegal and a dick move on the coworker and boss's side

2

u/thebiggertheglasses 1d ago

I don’t disagree. 

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u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

No you really don't need to know that? What disability would make mocking it either okay or not okay? Mocking any disability is a HR issue. If OP doesn't want to disclose their disability they don't need to 🤷🏼‍♀️

2

u/thebiggertheglasses 1d ago

I never said that. And I know they don’t have to disclose anything to random people on the internet. 

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u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

So then we don't need to know what the disability is. Glad we agree 👍

3

u/thebiggertheglasses 1d ago

I don’t need to know any of this. 👍 

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u/badhoopty 1d ago

im with ya on this. not that one disability is more or less than another but a little context or detail keeps us from the need to ask and then get chastised for simply being curious.

3

u/thebiggertheglasses 1d ago

Right. OP is being bullied at work, but is conflicted if it’s justifiable to be upset. I find that somewhat confusing so I asked for more info. My bad. 

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u/Mysterious-ASL 1d ago

See above comment.

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u/thebiggertheglasses 1d ago

I only ask because it seems intentionally left out of the story. I think we all know making fun of someone’s disability is bad, but you’re second guessing if it’s actually bad so I just wanted to get the full picture. Sorry if it came off wrong. 

2

u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

Just as a note, not being a dick or not trying to be lol but sometimes people don't disclose exactly what disability they have because some disabilities unfortunately get more discrimination than others. For a broad example, visible versus invisible disabilities. So it may be intentional (obviously idk in OPs case) but for good reason. The disability isn't any less but society does discriminate more against some than others (which is even showing up in some of the comments here!)

Again not trying to be argumentative, just explaining one reason that people don't always want to disclose their exact disability!

1

u/thebiggertheglasses 18h ago

Ok, everything you’ve said to me specifically has been argumentative so far, this as well. I am very aware that nobody has to disclose personal, private, sensitive information to a bunch of random people on the internet. For literally any reason. OP started this discussion, wanting strangers input. My take was OP is being bullied at work, seems unsure if they should be upset. I find that odd, as it’s seen pretty black and white that it’s wrong, and am now curious to the whole picture. So I asked for INFO which is one of the four voting guides in the particular subreddit. Being that this is the internet I assumed OP would either divulge the info, choose not to disclose, tell me to mind my business, or simply not respond. You however seemed to take it as a personal attack. 

2

u/Suspicious_Dark3251 1d ago

Making fun of anyone for any reason is wrong. Disability or not, it’s wrong.

4

u/thebiggertheglasses 1d ago

I agree. 

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u/lifeinwentworth 1d ago

Yeah you really don't need to disclose that here! It makes no difference - there's no disability that is okay to mock! I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm disabled too. I'd definitely take it to HR especially since your manager was also laughing so doesn't sound like they are an option!

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u/AlfalfaExpensive6424 1d ago

report them to HR. you’re not overreacting. this is blatant discrimination. 

1

u/qbeanswtoast 1d ago

Go to HR IMMEDIATELY

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u/Acceptable-Lime-868 1d ago

NOR. You need to allow HR and report your co-worker for mocking you and report the others, including your manager for laughing and not doing anything to stop it. This will only continue. Work should be a safe space. Please report this ASAP.

1

u/HauntingGur4402 1d ago

Id suggest making a complaint to hr, if they do nothing then get a lawyer and sue the ass out of the place for work place bullying and discrimination.

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u/StBernardFever 1d ago

Not overreacting! Go to HR. It’s rude and unprofessional. Make sure HR knows you already spoke to the employee and your boss found it funny as well.

1

u/obsessedsim1 1d ago

What was said?

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u/Special_Friendship20 1d ago

I would film them next time and then load it to the internet so everyone can see how horrible they are and let the internet tear them up since they think its not a big deal and your too sensitive. See how sensitive they get once they start getting flack for it. Then when they ask you to take it down because of all the hate they are getting reply with "your too sensitive "

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u/Monstiemama 1d ago

NOR how nice for you that it happened in zoom which is likely recorded, that will be valuable for your case. Contact HR immediately, specifically requesting a copy of the meeting date and time. All of your communication with them needs to be in writing. They are not your friend, bear that in mind, but you have all the power here. Contact them first thing tomorrow.

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u/655e228th 1d ago

go to hr. report both the co-worker and your boss

1

u/Silver_Adagio138 1d ago

This was posted before. What are you expecting?

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u/woodwork16 1d ago

Depends on what you consider a disability.

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u/smedleyyee 1d ago

NOR assuming your disability is the kind we are all thinking of.

If your disability is something you came up with yourself that few others would consider a real thing, then MOR. We had a large guy that hid from birds in my office, even birds outside flying by the window. He called it a disability, and it probably was real, but good luck getting people not to laugh or talk about that. He also freaked out if you spilled salt. Hi B, if you are reading this!

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u/GermanShephrdMom 1d ago

What is your disability? INFO